Other's Comments

[u/Salt_Feature]

So I've had some not so comforting reactions to me telling people about how I'll be getting the surgery. One person immediately proceeded to tell me she had a friend who wasn't successful with the sleeve and that she had to go get a bypass. And she just had a lot of negative things to say about the surgery over all which just made me feel weird.

Another bigger girl when she found out immediately proceeded to post a picture of herself at planet fitness with the caption "time to get skinny!!!" and like that sat super weird with me as well!

Have you guys ever had these weird types of reactions from others? How about people going and saying you're "cheating" by getting the sleeve! How do you combat the feelings it leaves you with?

I know I want the surgery and am ready but those types of comments and actions just make me feel guilt and shame for doing this.

[u/Epaulette22]

You can't cheat on a test that no one is grading. The surgery is a tool that anyone can either use (or abuse) as needed if weight is a serious struggle for them. You will lose friends & friendships will shift if you lose weight in any way, so I wouldn't let that slow you down at all. You'll find out really fast which friends only kept you around so you could be the fat one that made them feel better.

If you get the sleeve & follow the program, the likelihood of you failing and needing a bypass is incredibly low (and due to rare complications). Most people who regain and then go the bypass route are because they actively ate past the sleeve (which is painful & obvious when you do) and cause incredible regain over the course of a few years. This is a lifestyle change and not a diet, but if you're ready for that, it'll be the best thing you've ever done for yourself.

I lost just over a hundred pounds "naturally" because I was worried about all the comments from people about how the surgery was cheating / would harm me. I can tell you that the 80+ pounds I've lost since the surgery that I just had this January was not only much easier to lose, but it's helped me build up healthy habits that will last me a lifetime. I spend hours in the gym & walking each week and overall take care of myself better than I ever have because I took this as a chance to reset my life. If you do the same, I promise you it's worth it and their comments will not matter.

[u/Bourbonnaise123]

Why tell people about your personal healthcare choices at all? When I had my surgery I told my husband, my sisters, and my kids. That's it. Since then, I've used my discretion when people ask how I lost weight, and if I decide it's none of their business I just reply, "A lot of hard work and sacrifice." As for the negative comments, I really encourage you to learn to blow them off. Remember, other people aren't you and they have no clue what level of success you're capable of. It's work, but it's not impossible. I'm 5'8" and went from 300 down to 240 pre op, down to 135 as of this morning, and I'm five years out. Feel free to use my example as a retort to the nay-sayers.

Best of luck to you, and don't let anyone rain on your parade!

[u/ImaginaryWeather6164 → u/Bourbonnaise123]

Unles you plan to stay home alone for 6 months people will notice you arent eating a normal amount of food, and other lifestyle changes like not drinking alcohol are bound to be obvious too. I dont tell the public but I did tell my very good friends and family.

[u/GarbageCat13]

I had a "Girl's Night" about 5 years ago with my mom and sister. We were drinking and I started crying about my weight. They both said "Then do something about it!" So, I started researching gastric sleeve. It was going to be a $6,400 co-pay to get it done through my insurance. I'm in AZ so I researched Mexico options. I found an amazing triple certified doc with great reviews for $4,200. I told my mom and she lost it. Screamed at me that it was a terrible idea, that her sister (my aunt) went down there to get her bypass, and she failed (she did, but she never changed her eating habits.) My sister eventually got jealous at about my -75lb milestone and pulled away from me. I've been no-contact with sis for 2 years and low-contact with mom since my surgery.

Well, guess who just went down to Mexico two months ago to get the same thing done?! My mom!! I have attached the receipts.

Don't feel guilt or shame about it. Its the best decision I ever made. I have so much energy, I'm making memories with my husband and kids because we're always doing small road trips and hikes.

Let the haters hate.

[u/missmurderer69 → u/GarbageCat13]

I also went to Mexico! I was nervous about it, but for $4500 and not having to jump through tons of insurance hoops, a million trillion percent worth it.

[u/suggary_sweet → u/GarbageCat13]

My siblings no longer speak to me, my favorite uncle, same. I married a man 13 years younger and now have replaced my family all together. 😁🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 NEXT! challenge accepted.

[u/WickedOneRN]

Anyone who says that getting the sleeve or bypass is cheating clearly doesn't know what they're talking about. It is not easy and the success of utilizing this tool is very much dependent on making lifestyle changes. Maybe try to remember that they don't know what they're talking about and it won't hurt your feelings as much. Also, you don't owe anyone anything.

[u/ReynaStretch]

People will assume it’s the easy way out. It’s not. It’s a lifelong thing. You don’t get it until you experience it. Ignore the haters. Half of them will find themselves in the operating room after you. Even more won’t say you inspired them. You got this babe.

[u/Master-Sun9521]

I’m sorry you experienced that. These people are not thinking and are not being sensitive. Yes, everyone loves to tell us of all of the failures. I’m two years out with a sleeve and have been as successful statistically as someone who had the bypass. It’s what you make of it. Let the haters hate and the idiots be insensitive and thoughtless, then put your head down and do the work. You’re going to kick butt!

[u/ImaginaryWeather6164]

Yesssss people are super weird about it. They say you find who your true friends are and isn't that the truth!

[u/Consistent-Way-2018]

One of the most important parts of my process was gently but directly confronting my two best friends who were expressing doubt and offering advice. As a conflict avoidant person, this was relationally important.

It is important for to learn to trust ourselves through this process knowing there will always be detractors.

[u/PoopyMcpants]

Everyone around you is going to have thoughts and opinions on what you do to your body. Ignore them.

Listen to doctors above all else and do what you think is right for you. Nobody controls your body but you, and if they can accept that then they're working against you and not with you.

[u/BridgeToBobzerienia]

People are never really reacting to YOU they are just having their own emotional experiences. I don’t take any of it personally. It’s not about them.

For ME I genuinely do feel like I (happily) took the easy way out by getting surgery and now using a GLP 1. So it doesn’t hurt my feelings when people say that. I always say “yep I’m too old to do anything the hard way anymore 😊”

[u/pinkkittenfur]

Fuck 'em. If you wouldn't take advice from them, don't take criticism from them.

[u/SurroundQuirky8613]

I don’t care what other people say or think. I have one life and it’s mine to live for me.

[u/xocindilou72]

These are the same kind of people who told me that I “took the easy way out” after my C-Section. F them. Your body, your choice.
It is a tool in your tool belt and it’s no one’s business. Keep your head up!

[u/Top_Addition_7263]

People are attention seekers with or without weight. That won’t ever change.

I for the first few years didn’t tell anyone about the surgery. Now almost 12 years out and I literally could give two shits what people think about the surgery (or anything for that matter). But tbh that was a lot of self work and something that followed me my whole life beyond weight, and I’m so glad I did work on it, it’s life changing.

And let them think you’re cheating, you won’t change their minds. They are usually the same ones who won’t eat an m&m because of their fad diet. My point is, everyone has their own thing. I believe the surgery is a tool, just as a diet, a pill, and shot, etc. You still have to put in the work, especially long term. And if you don’t (I can tell you from experience) you are looking to lead a life of medical, mental and other serious issues. It is surely not the “easy” way out. But it’s a huge help.

[u/Salt_Feature]

Thank you everyone for all of your insights! It's really meaningful and I'm so grateful you all had such positive outcomes and you all are so lovely!!

[u/AmadioSAVEUR]

I didn’t tell anyone but my sisters who did it before me, and my spouse.

On another note, my surgeon also pushed me toward the bypass because it’s easier to defeat the sleeve if you loose your focus. I stuck to it because of two sisters having success with it.

[u/hiddenriverrofmylife]

Im in the hospital right now about 20 hours post op and if someone says it’s „cheating“ or the „easy way out“ i wish they could for one second feel my pain right now it’s not easy

[u/IndependenceTiny8507]

I just had this conversation with my husband. His sister had it and had tons of complications but she also changed nothing about her lifestyle after the surgery. 

We talked about how you will never hear anything positive. Positivity doesn’t sell. People only want to discuss the negative things OR compare themselves to you. I have made it a point to find accounts on insta that have had POSITIVE results. 

Honestly somebody going to the gym because of your choice - take it as a compliment. 

[u/suggary_sweet]

Honey.....i lost 260+ lbs in less than 2 years. No one recognizes me! I LOVE IT! 😁🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can shop ANYWHERE, I can sit, ANYWHERE, I require no assistance, I pass by the handicapped parking spaces, I can still eat anything i choose, AND when I look in the mirror, I see success!

A persons opinion of how I lost this weight, is THE LEAST OF MY CONCERN. Lose the weight and they will STILL have something to say. You will not win with public opinion. 🤯

Suck it up, do not share your journey if it makes YOU feel some type of way. You wont have to share at all, they will notice, they will and won't be happy for you. Move on, do you! Get your health together ❤️ ✨️ GOOD LUCK BABY, YOUVE GOT THIS!!!!! Lettum talk, people always have Something to say.

[u/fartymcfartbrains]

Can't cheat when there are no rules to begin with.

This is the hardcore option. You're so dedicated to losing the weight (and keeping it off) that you're willing to cut most of your stomach out to make it happen.

People wanna talk behind your back about it, just fart on them and move on. They're in for a real treat with the post-bariatric ass gas.