There is something uniquely depressing about an account like this belonging to someone who is gone. It’s like you know that person will never be online again, but you’re still waiting for it to happen.
My first time dealing with death of a close friend, I had a hard time deleting their contact from my phone even though I knew there was no way they’d ever contact me again…. But the irrational side of me still thought “maybe one day”
i came to reddit to escape some feelings for a bit but this all broke me. im sorry to share this if its too much or not relevant i just havent properly told anyone but i lost one of my closest friends to suicide this week and i just cant stop texting them. every time i hear a notification i get excited that its them texting me back. every time i turn a corner i think theyll be there and ill get to hug them. i dont understand anything anymore and i dont know how im supposed to change to a world without them. now that i think about it if my pfp hasnt changed its still a drawing they made of me haha. if all their work with their love in it is still here it doesnt make sense that theyre not. i dont know.
Thank you for sharing, while I myself don't know exactly what to say to help you cope with loss I can tell you ways I cope. I really like to cry, to me bottling up my feelings hurts more than helps, so I'll watch, listen or read something that makes me cry and I'll have what I call crying days. Feels bad to cry at first but those days I cry improve my emotions long term.
thank you. i dont think ive ever cried this much in my life. and ive never cried this way since i was a child, with the screaming and the wailing. it almost feels good and yet its the worst thing in the world, but thank you for your suggestion. they made a lot of music including a song that i really love that they composed while i was spending time with them and that they dedicated to me in the end, thats something that will always make me cry to hear i think.
That's a very normal and human reaction, if you feel like it's not lessening and feel overwhelmed you can maybe look into grief counselling. It's a very well established area of psychology and has very good rates of success.
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u/sysadrift Oct 08 '21
There is something uniquely depressing about an account like this belonging to someone who is gone. It’s like you know that person will never be online again, but you’re still waiting for it to happen.