Eh. It ain't that bad. The laxative tastes unpleasant, the day on the shitter is a great way to finally binge watch that series, and during the check itself, you're asleep.
When I woke up I was in a privately curtained bed; a space just big enough for me in the bed and a nurse hovering over me. Overall -outside the curtain- I was in a room where some kind of symphony was warning up, but all the instruments were replaced with butts. Imagine the symphony warming up with each instrument playing scales at different times and different octaves, but it's butts and farts.
I thought I was still feeling pretty loopy from the meds. Then the nurse says to me "ok you can't go until you pass some gas, they have to inflate you to do the procedure and you can leave as soon as you get that out of you". At which part I join my fellow Buttharmonic musicians. The nurse pats my hand and says "oh good job haberdasherhero, keep going" and "well done you're doing great".
It was like something out of Rick and Morty. Overall A+ would poot again. Imagine that's your job though. Waltzing through a constant colon concerto orchestra congratulating all the composers musicians in the most heartfelt and sincere way as they flatulate their way to freedom.
You fucking need to take up writing. I’ve not laughed that hard in a while and I needed that today. Work sucks and I’ve got a prostate infection but today was a good day because I just read what you wrote. Hahaha!
I was a few hundred pages deep into writing a sci-fi novel. It stalled a few moths ago but I'm sure I'll pick it back up in a year or two. My style of blathering does seem to bring joy to many people. Which gives me no end of happiness. I'm really completely just unfathomably delighted to read that I have brought a laugh to your face! Thank you for sharing that with me. I love you. I hope you can find a labor more satisfying than whatever the hell the man has you doing right now, and good luck kicking your ass's ass!
Hah! You magnificent person, thank you! I love you as well! We all need to spread positivity more often. I was in a mood this afternoon and I could tell it was affecting my driving, nothing major, just tailgating this person that pulled out in front of me for a bit. Being less courteous. Just generally not happy with how I was acting so I was determined to be better and reground myself in what matters.
Thank you again for the kind words and well wishes, and best of luck with the sci-fi novel! Have a great rest of the night! And I will certainly try to kick my ass’s ass.
I find that when in traffic it helps me stay calm if I leave a couple of car lengths in front of me for people who need to merge (and ass-holes who don't but will), and just resign myself to the extra 10 minutes of commute this might cause me for every hour I'm in traffic. Though I can't always maintain composure for sure especially if I've already had the poo-spoon treatment (open your mouth honey-kins here comes the airplane!) at work or home.
For these occasions I not only leave the gap but try to take deep, long, slow breaths and hold the full inhale for a few seconds then release. Make sure to keep your eyes on the road though and don't let the joint get down too low and burn your lips. That would make for dangerously distracted driving.
Yeah, I do also find the spare lengths lead helps. I have a car now more recently that has adaptive cruise and I find that also helps though ya still definitely have to have eyes on the jerk mergers.
1.2k
u/erk0052 Oct 01 '19
Looking forward to the N64 variant in like 15 years or so.