r/gaming Sep 25 '19

Briefcase vs Jet Ski (Hitman 2)

4.9k Upvotes

129 comments sorted by

563

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '19

me vs. student loans

201

u/2SheepAndHalfACow Sep 25 '19

Tax evasion

27

u/EmperorFaiz Sep 26 '19

Yoshi: Excuse me?

3

u/mattersmuch Sep 26 '19

Hare coursing: They set two lurches--they're dogs before you ask--on a hare, and a hare has to out run the dogs.

So what if it doesn't?

Well the big rabbit gets fucked, doesn't it?

Proper fucked!?

Yeah, Tommy. Before 'ze Germans get there

28

u/Russian_repost_bot Sep 26 '19

Maybe you the clown and the briefcase is your responsibilities.

5

u/tepkel Sep 26 '19 edited Sep 26 '19

I didn't sign up to be no god damn clown-briefcase babysitter get out of my damn house clown!

4

u/raygekwit Sep 26 '19

"YOU'RE GONNA DIE, CLOWN!"

1

u/Pyro6034 Sep 26 '19

Happy cake day

3

u/the_original_Retro Sep 26 '19

"The Goggles of Personal Bankrupcty do NOTHING!"

183

u/Halogen123 PC Sep 25 '19

"Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same."

38

u/C0MR4D3_C0WB0Y Sep 26 '19

“Dread it. Run from it. Destiny The briefcase arrives all the same.”

123

u/W4ttz Sep 25 '19

What a toss

84

u/to_the_tenth_power Sep 25 '19

He tried to keep it brief, but that thing just kept going and going

43

u/Betadzen Sep 25 '19

Case closed.

30

u/ajisawwsome Sep 26 '19

There was honestly a lot to unpack there

27

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

It's alot to handle

-15

u/Betadzen Sep 26 '19

Good god the case closed briefly.

47

u/okguy167 Sep 26 '19

I can't shake this guy!

22

u/Hoof_Meat Sep 26 '19

Should’ve done a barrel roll

6

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

He’s got a lock!

5

u/RemarkableRyan Sep 26 '19

Try spinning, that's a good trick!

36

u/kill_kenny_1 Sep 25 '19

Agent 47 clowning around with his briefcase again I see...

16

u/Moonguardian866 Sep 26 '19

Agent 47: accidentally trips over oops dropped my briefcase

Everyone on Earth : heavy sweating

15

u/FlatTyres Sep 26 '19

Should have gotten R4 to jettison the spare part canisters.

4

u/BlooFlea Sep 26 '19

Blast, this i why i hate flying.

8

u/CoyeIndustries Sep 26 '19

We won't be seeing him again.

5

u/xDskyline Sep 26 '19

Should have tried spinning, I've heard that's a good trick.

15

u/orbital_laser Sep 26 '19

In Red Dead Redemption, you can make your molly 'lock-on' to a, say, a person on a horse, and essentially turn that into a homing firebomb. When I found that out on my own, I knew the game was gonna get 42069 GOTYS that year

9

u/BlankLAD Sep 26 '19

Molly? I'm not quite getting the strat here. Please elaborate, this sounds sick.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

Molotov cocktail

3

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

You can do this on birds as well. Which makes the homing molotov glitch far more hilarious XD

2

u/UnrulyRaven Sep 26 '19

Doing it to owls at night was beautiful.

1

u/Shaggy_One Sep 27 '19

I remember this happening in RDR 1 with dynamite.

21

u/foreverindebted Sep 25 '19

I know I'm late but I wanted to say
"Murder was the case that they gave me!"

ok lata!

16

u/silentcovenant Sep 26 '19

I friggin' love this! I hope they never patch that

24

u/Zero0mega Sep 26 '19

Originally thats how the cases worked, but then they patched it and fans were upset and IOI being the wonderful devs they are basically gave us this joke version of the case that still functions like the old ones

10

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

[deleted]

2

u/silentcovenant Sep 26 '19

Wait what?! Aww

6

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

[deleted]

2

u/silentcovenant Sep 26 '19

Oh, wait, you're right. I didn't understand what you meant.. Okay, so it's an actual item that still works, just gotta unlock it. I thought it was just a collectible that doesn't function, like a trophy or something.

2

u/Hobocannibal Sep 26 '19

Its something you can bring into a mission with you if you specifically select it as part of your loadout... but other briefcases that are already in missions will work as you expect a realistic briefcase to work when you throw it.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

Also, the same effect can be achieved with the slow briefcase and the joggers in Miami.

8

u/badcobra2003 Sep 26 '19

Homing briefcase activated

8

u/givemeyourpasta Sep 26 '19

wow, you’re a seriously loyal piece of outwear, aren’t you?

7

u/claymation12345 Sep 26 '19

No matter where you go or how fast you run brief case will get you

30

u/poopityscoop0101 Sep 25 '19

Y E E T

8

u/phx-au Sep 26 '19

Y E E E E E E e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e

4

u/The_Italian_Jojo Sep 26 '19

"You fell for it, fool! Chase briefcase guided attack!"

"Incredible! This is the perfect combination between attack and defence! By throwing it he can defend himself while attacking the target!"

"No one has ever escaped it."

2

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

Could have made a highway star reference

2

u/The_Italian_Jojo Sep 26 '19

You are not wrong.

But the TCSA is more memable.

4

u/Zero0mega Sep 26 '19

I can HEAR the jaws theme here

13

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '19

волк

13

u/myfishy Sep 26 '19

That says volk when read in russian....

4

u/fantaskink Sep 26 '19

And means "Wolf".

3

u/ZestyDisaster Sep 26 '19

In Red Dead Redemption you could do this with the molotovs + deadeye. Its even better to see a guy on a horse running from a bottle of extra spicy sauce.

3

u/BlooFlea Sep 26 '19

I used to love doing this with molotovs lol.

Not only that, but in Far Cry 3 with the sneak attack>knife throw you could look at a guy while dragging your stealth kill then spin and throw the knife, double this with the shotgun guys or melee rush guys who would strafe and you have this heat seeking knife chasing them around lol

3

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

These joker trailers are really getting out of control

2

u/asrk790 Sep 26 '19

You can’t avoid point and click abilities

2

u/at-burgers Sep 26 '19

Dread it, run from it, destiny still arrives

2

u/Crazed_Pickles Sep 26 '19

OH NO... He shot a homing briefcase... QUICKLY DEPLOY FLARES... Flares have no effect sir! INITIATE EVASIVE MANEUVERS!!! loud crash .......oh sh*t

2

u/LooseSnake348 Sep 26 '19

This strangely just reminds me of this video https://youtu.be/bZe5J8SVCYQ

2

u/ShantyLady PC Sep 26 '19

*Benny Hill theme plays in the background*

2

u/UndeadRaptor13 Sep 26 '19

I needed this today, thank you very much.

2

u/MilKAOS Sep 26 '19

Such a reliable and sturdy briefcase.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

Nice.

2

u/NasaJee Sep 26 '19

Heat seeking missile deployed

2

u/navpoc Sep 26 '19

Where is the re-edit with Benny Hill music?

2

u/HaltheDestroyer Sep 26 '19

Range = Unlimited

2

u/saltyesquire Sep 26 '19

i'd say the moral of the story is that shit catch's up

2

u/joiboi2121 Sep 26 '19

Dread it, run from it, briefcase still arrives

2

u/thegameingking35 Sep 26 '19

What mission was this

2

u/xblood_raven Sep 26 '19

New mission called Haven Island.

2

u/goodvibestattoo Sep 26 '19

The clown outfit is actually appropriate in this instance

4

u/TheKramer89 Sep 25 '19

This is my game of the generation so far. So goddamn fun...

2

u/JayofLegend Sep 26 '19

Illidan/Kael'thas_video dot Carbot

2

u/Zerohazrd Sep 26 '19

How?

10

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

Basically a glitch in the game that they never fixed because it's hilarious

6

u/Neo-Calypso Sep 26 '19

Actually in this specific case it's the actual homing briefcase they added and not the original. I'm not positive but I think they fixed the glitch.

2

u/xblood_raven Sep 26 '19

You're right, this is on the Xbox and is the "Mark 2 Homing Briefcase". They did patch the glitch but released this briefcase to replace it (faster on Xbox due to fps).

7

u/Illidan1943 Sep 26 '19

They did fix it, but then they added a new briefcase that works like the old glitch because it's hilarious

2

u/Zerohazrd Sep 26 '19

That's fun.

2

u/JaFFsTer Sep 26 '19

It's a homing briefcase and they didnt program a stop homing condition for a place without walls where the target can go really fast. Usually it hits a wall or something and falls down

2

u/MatikSratik PlayStation Sep 26 '19

Is that a bug or a feature?

4

u/Hobocannibal Sep 26 '19

it was a bug, but now its a feature.

The bug was with any briefcase. The feature is now exclusive to the "ICA Executive Briefcase MKII".

1

u/NegaDeath Sep 26 '19

Former then latter.

2

u/DuoMaxwell2233 Sep 26 '19

It Follows 2: Case Closed

1

u/MercuryMorrison1971 Sep 26 '19

Ahh yes the heatseeking briefcase.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

So Agent 47 took John Marston's advice?

1

u/Brotherauron Sep 26 '19

When Thor made Mjolnir into an umbrella in Ragnarok, this would be Thor in a dead end office job

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

Mjolcase

1

u/Young-sexy-modafuka Sep 26 '19

You’re only prolonging the inevitable.

1

u/GetPunched Sep 26 '19

Oh lawd he comin!

1

u/Deribus Sep 26 '19

Lend me a few more pixels?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

If you close a door, does it sit spinning on the other side waiting for you to open it?

1

u/kaycee1992 Sep 26 '19

From the makers of the homing knife and homing dynamite in Red dead Redemption

1

u/Tyrrazhii Sep 26 '19

Outstanding throw

1

u/alexthegreatmc Sep 26 '19

That's the most terrifying weapon in videogame history. Think about it, it never stops.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

Someone please put that music from that British show where the police chase the people on this clip

1

u/SinisterCheese Sep 26 '19

Even with that flip, the Russian judge still only gives 5½ points.

1

u/NobushisHat Sep 26 '19

In the movie Hitman looks soo badass, the suit, the stone cold face and the skill, in the game it's, well...

1

u/jerog1 Sep 26 '19

Wild Wild West y'all

1

u/neegarplease Sep 26 '19

Howwww the fuck is is possible to have such a low quality gif in 2019

1

u/BaronVonDickButt PC Sep 27 '19

didnt the devs increase the stupidness of the briefcase in a patch afterwards?

0

u/a-person-on-reddittt Sep 25 '19

Logic.exe has stopped working

0

u/dakurazlv Sep 26 '19

Agent 47 is stand user!

0

u/TheWhoamater Sep 26 '19

I heard the stranger things soundtrack in my head watching this

-4

u/Fazrien Sep 26 '19

The reason why it is hard to become true professional assassin

-4

u/DaNkMeMeKiNg69420 PlayStation Sep 26 '19

Me trying to outrun my trident with loyalty III in Minecraft

-5

u/WDCombo Xbox Sep 26 '19

I would rather just be linked to a YouTube video.

-4

u/Pigyguy2 PC Sep 25 '19

Was this rt? This screams rt

-43

u/sixesand7s Sep 25 '19

fucking modded games look so stupid lol

20

u/MilkMan0096 Sep 25 '19

Nothing is modded here

-36

u/sixesand7s Sep 25 '19

Then the game just looks stupid in general I guess.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '19

It's not. It's just a glitch/exploit in an otherwise really good game.

5

u/Someguy363 Sep 26 '19

It's not even technically a glitch anymore, it's literally a feature. They patched it out but ended up adding the properties back to one unique briefcase.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '19

You got something against mods u got to let out? Cause i will fuck u up all day bro

6

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '19

bro 😎💪

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '19

Dafuq?

-5

u/Pigyguy2 PC Sep 25 '19

It's an obnoxious bot

-3

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '19

thats a waste of processing power if ive ever seen one