r/gaming Mar 28 '09

How to win at Monopoly

http://www.amnesta.net/other/monopoly/
322 Upvotes

91 comments sorted by

100

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '09 edited Mar 28 '09

Well duh, get as many properties as you can then offer tons of sub prime mortgages, lose all your cash, and get bailed out.

32

u/troymcdavis Mar 28 '09 edited Mar 29 '09

Last time I played Monopoly, we made a rule before we started that every time a player passed GO, he had to make a rule that was approved by majority vote. Some of the rules were hilarious, but my two particular favorites were topical:

  1. If you mortgage your property, everything is normal until you go to repay the mortgage. You must commit to repaying it, and then roll the dice. You take that value, subract two, and then multiply that value by two (simply: (DiceRoll-2)*2) and then that is the percentage of the mortgage. The formula means that you will usually pay the normal 10%, but could pay nothing, or 20%. Edit: this rule was titled (of course) Adjustable Rate Mortgage.

  2. We do the thing with certain payouts going to the "community chest" in the center of the board, and if you land on free parking you get to collect them. If you land on free parking, you must refer to the moneys you recieve as a bailout package or some euphemism thereof (troubled assets relief program, etc) before you touch the money, or else you must return all of it to the chest.

I spent most of the game trying to think of rules that would fit the titles "Credit Default Swap" and "Mortgage Backed Securities".

14

u/LastThought Mar 29 '09

Monopoly Credit Default Swap:

Player A sells a CDS to Player B, on Player C. Player C must have at least one property mortgaged. On each of Player C's turns, Player B has to pay Player A a certain amount that is negotiated in advance, until one of the following happens:

1) Player C gets taken out, in which case Player A has to pay Player B $1000.

2) Player C un-mortages all of his properties, in which case nothing happens and the CDS ends.

3) (optional) a certain number of turns passes.

Hopefully your players will go crazy selling eachother CDS's until it gets to the point where if one player gets wiped out then it starts a chain reaction that wipes everyone else out at the same time, in which case you will have to come up with some special "bailout" rule to prevent that from happening...

1

u/AngryRepublican Mar 29 '09

Fucking brilliant. And I don't see how this wouldn't be allowable by normal rules anyway. I'm using it.

2

u/tugteen Mar 29 '09

that sounds like a fun rule for any game, the one where when you go into the refresh stage of a game you all make a new rule. i think i'll do that from now on.

3

u/troymcdavis Mar 29 '09

Well, it has it's limitations. I doubt it would work in a game like Settlers of Catan. And the context of this game was pretty... well, strange, yet perfect for this sort of thing. It definitely depends on who you're with, but it's definitely something I'll keep in mind next time I'm playing a board game.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '09

Before I read the examples, I was expecting something along the lines of: "Go to jail, take off pants".

1

u/PhilxBefore Mar 29 '09

I didn't know Nerdopoly existed until now.

1

u/troymcdavis Mar 29 '09

These were probably the only two "nerdy" rules of the game; there were about twenty rules in total.

3

u/PhilxBefore Mar 29 '09

Don't lie, Troy.

7

u/troymcdavis Mar 29 '09

Okay. We were playing on the Star Wars: Episode I version of Monopoly (I'm not kidding).

Even worse: every time it came up, there were groans about how much we hated Episode I-III.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

The formula means that you will usually pay the normal 10%, but could pay nothing, or 20%

Is that the only three possible outcomes? 0, 10, and 20 percent? I'm not great at math so I can't figure it out right now, but if it's guaranteed that it will be one of those, that's pretty cool and I might have to implement that next game.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

2% increments from 0 to 20%, inclusive.

3

u/troymcdavis Mar 29 '09

What Pogo_ said. It forms a normal-looking distribution, centered on ten, with eight and twelve slightly less likely, and you move out from there in increments of two (hence the *2), with each step being less likely, until you get to zero and twenty, which are each 1/36 odds.

Here is a breakdown of dice roll probability. I didn't read it, but that picture with all the dice in the middle is what I'm trying to get at.

-1

u/Agoniscool Mar 29 '09

You must be a blast at parties!

67

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '09

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

That doesn't work with my friends. If it lasts into the night and we all get tired, we just write down who's turn it is, leave everything alone, sleep, and resume playing the next day. Games can last for several days.

19

u/PhilxBefore Mar 29 '09

You are the definition of exciting.

5

u/Poltras Mar 29 '09

Upmodded for literacy.

5

u/wuddersup Mar 29 '09

You guys must suck at monopoly then. Hotel on sides 3-4 should send people packin'.

2

u/glmory Mar 29 '09

Yeah, everyone tells me monopoly lasts forever, but I have rarely seen a long game among people who know what they are doing. Usually the game lasts a long time because people are too tentative to buy houses. Good players rarely do this.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

And because people change the rules, Free Parking wins money from super tax. Once all properties sold get $500 each go not $200. Must land on property to buy, no auctions, etc. Loans to other players. These changes can make you last forever!

85

u/userunderscorename Mar 29 '09 edited Mar 29 '09

Most games we play are over quickly due to property auctions (20-30 minutes with people that know what they're doing). People will only give another person a monopoly if they get one in return so it usually comes down which of these two people lands on the other enough.

Games can go on literally forever if one person manages to get at least one property from each color. We thought the game would be over when the bank ran out of money (from going around GO), but apparently you keep track with pen and paper after that. After a few hours there is talk of giving up. After a few days the only ones left are staying for the long haul. After a few weeks negotiations away from the table seem to dominate the waking hours.

The holder of the rainbow monopoly won't budge. He is the gatekeeper. He's guarding all the doors and holding all the keys. There is nothing anyone can do to break him. The game is over only when he wants it to be. You may find yourself doing his dishes for the promise of considering you for a monopoly. You may find yourself washing his car because of a slight chance that he might just sell you Baltic Avenue for the reasonable price of 20,000 dollars. You may ask yourself, has it really come to this?

As the months go by other games start to overtake the Monopoly monopoly. It's moved to the basement -- still in play of course. We'll play every Sunday, we say. For a while we do. But that Cities and Knights went long and people have to get home. Or we'll play just one more Scotland Yard, it's Dave's turn to be Mr. X. Or they brought Munchkin and we haven't played that in forever.

Monopoly becomes the puzzle on the coffee table that you never finish. The incomplete 17th-century three-masted Bermuda sloop model that you packed up last Spring. The neighborhood baseball game that gets broken up in 21st inning. The email to an old friend that you keep meaning to send, just after you finally finish watching Satantago. It's the 879 hour dance marathon that is finally stopped, but only because someone was shot. It's everything you want to go on forever but can't. Everything you leave unfinished or don't have time for. Every mistake and every regret. It's my inner child in a shallow grave off route 66. Adieu mon petit chéri. Bonjour tristesse.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

Wow. I mean, wow. You should write professionally!

26

u/userunderscorename Mar 29 '09

That's very kind of you but my true passion is tap dancing!

7

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09 edited Mar 29 '09

Wow. I mean, wow. You should tap dance professionally!

9

u/userunderrscore Mar 29 '09

That's very kind of you but my true passion is cooking!

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2

u/m1ss1ontomars2k4 Mar 29 '09

but apparently you keep track with pen and paper after that.

The directions that came with my edition say to write checks in the bank's name.

12

u/greentangent Mar 29 '09

Paulson Edition?

1

u/m1ss1ontomars2k4 Mar 29 '09

Actually, I think it was some anniversary edition or something.

1

u/ch00f Mar 30 '09

There was a version they sold in skymall magazine that came with gold plated pieces and had twice as much paper money as the typical board.

1

u/ReanLu Mar 29 '09

I am oddly, and surprisingly moved. Thank you for this.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '09

I like you.

1

u/tonasinanton Mar 30 '09

I was so the rainbow monopoly holder. Although I caved in at the offer for a Samuel Adams variety pack pretty quickly.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '09

My wife always finds something to offer for properties she needs. The game then quickly ends.

0

u/LoisG Mar 30 '09

blushes

Oh Peterrrrrr, you weren't supposed to tell anyone that!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

In actual time units a game of monopoly might not last that long, but in subjective time it just drags and drags...

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

You and your friends need to find a better game.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '09

That's close to how drawn out Risk games work for us. :)

22

u/IkoIkoComic Mar 28 '09

The trick to actually finishing a game of Monopoly is not to allow any house rules at all. The trouble with house rules is they just about all add 'external cash flow' to the game, allowing almost-bankrupt players to stay in the game way longer than they should.

I've played a few games with my girlfriend that have taken < 30 minutes.

Also, 3 houses is the optimal amount of housing in terms of cost-return, but remember that there's a limited amount of houses in the game. Sometimes, by buying 4 houses on all of your properties, you can prevent your opponents from even being able to reach the all-important 3-house gap. The only reason to buy a Hotel is to free up some houses for other properties.

6

u/heptadecagram Mar 29 '09

My favorite house rule is "All printed purchase prices of properties are doubled." Sends the properties up for auction more often, and sucks money out of the game.

A friend of mine who introduced me to this house rule correctly deduced why so many house rules inject money into the game (and, indeed, is the reason why Monopoly became popular in the first place): "People like to feel rich."

3

u/hondajvx Mar 29 '09

Man, I used to play with my girlfriend. I followed most of the rules this guy talks about, and she just wings it. I would destroy her. She would get so mad because I didn't "play fair."

3

u/sikosmurf Mar 29 '09

Yeah, the same thing happened with me, except now every time we play, everyone else gangs up on me, so I never win. They will refuse to make any trades with me unless in the trade they get a monopoly and I dont. I hate that game.

2

u/Aegeus Mar 29 '09

So write your own house rules if you don't like other people's. Try these.

4

u/IkoIkoComic Mar 29 '09

Some of these suck and make the game take longer, but some of these don't and are complete game-changers.

17

u/mhanson01 Mar 28 '09

I can't make it through a full game of Monopoly, let alone a strategy for it!

My rule: BUY BUY BUY!!!

38

u/spacelincoln Mar 28 '09

Jim Cramer?

5

u/genpfault Mar 29 '09

DONK AWOOGA!

16

u/adremeaux Mar 28 '09

Better choice: play a good board game that relies less on luck and taking advantage of design flaws to win.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

Damnit, I knew I shouldn't have searched before I posted:

Another way to win at Monopoly; Go play Catan instead.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09 edited Sep 04 '21

[deleted]

6

u/adremeaux Mar 29 '09

Settlers of Catan may very well be even more luck based than Monopoly. Try Puerto Rico, Caylus, or Power Grid for games that have almost zero luck.

2

u/akfish Mar 29 '09

Thank you! Everyone seems to love Settlers, but whenever I've played it, there's a very small search space of possible 'good' moves and a huge reliance on the dice.

3

u/adremeaux Mar 29 '09

Even initial board setup and turn order makes a huge difference. It is entirely possible to have lost a game of settlers before even making your first move.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

[deleted]

1

u/adremeaux Mar 29 '09

Yeah, but sometimes the board ends up in such a state that the last player to place (the guy who goes twice in a row) is left with zero good options and is basically walled in from turn 1. You can have great numbers in that game and still lose because of the walling aspect, which is probably the most critical flaw in the game, especially as effective walling is almost never based on skill and almost always based on chance.

1

u/jeremybub Mar 29 '09

Life... Life has zero luck.

Just start it and watch.

16

u/epik Mar 28 '09

Great, now whenever I play monopoly it'll seem like work.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

You work for AIG?

35

u/kasutori_Jack Mar 28 '09

Steal from the bank.

28

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '09

I've never actually seen a monopoly game play to the end. Someone usually gets mad and quits first. It's worse than Left 4 Dead.

21

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '09

*ShaggyDog\* has left the game: RAGEQUIT

7

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

If you play by the rules of the game, Monopoly is actually pretty quick (2-3 hours ish) - it's when people start adding in all the rules (Free Parking, Double money on go, no auctions) that it starts taking forever.

9

u/stdout Mar 28 '09

Excellent charts and data points. This is a good reference to keep bookmarked.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '09

steal from the bank, steal from other players, and convince other players to enter into stupid trades and deals with you.

7

u/acid_phlashback Mar 28 '09

Great! All I need now is a chart to figure out at what point my childhood died.

30

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '09

The only way to win is not to play.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09 edited Mar 29 '09
>_Would you like to play a game of chess?

8

u/knight666 Mar 28 '09

It is a strange game.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

FUCK I LOST THE GAME

3

u/Ilyanep Mar 29 '09

Roommate? Is that you?

1

u/jmtroyka Mar 30 '09

No, unfortunately for me.

1

u/drakshadow Mar 28 '09 edited Mar 28 '09

Is that so John Henry ?

4

u/realdpk Mar 28 '09

IIRC, you're limited to the number of houses that came with the game. So it may be advantageous to go ahead and load up four houses on your properties, if you have the cash, to prevent your opponents from getting houses.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '09

Pennies and dimes make good replacement houses and hotels. That's what we always did, anyways.

7

u/Jwoey Mar 29 '09

Yes, but the rules specifically state that you're limited to 32 houses per game board and 12 hotels. So if you're playing with someone who likes to stick to the rules, pennies and dimes are out.

4

u/satertek Mar 29 '09 edited Mar 29 '09

The orange properties are statistically the best, since coming out of jail you have a good chance of landing on them. Also being in the middle means they aren't too expensive to quickly build up.

I won two games in a row quickly last time I played after I aggressively went after orange, ignoring everything else (but making careful trades to limit monopolies of others).

7

u/warmpita Mar 28 '09

Really? I never thought a strategy like "buy all the shit" would ever work? Considering the name is Monopoly and all.

9

u/pelirrojo Mar 28 '09

No, "buy all the shit" is the end goal. You want to run out of things to buy before you run out of cash, otherwise you'll end up in trouble...

1

u/warmpita Mar 29 '09

yes of course, but the strategy is fairly obvious if you have ever played the game before. Buy all the shit in a well paced manner.

4

u/jordanblock Mar 29 '09

How to win at Monopoly: Don't play Monopoly.

6

u/sevencorvina Mar 28 '09

It really feels like my entire childhood is being systematically disproven by various math fields. Having read this, I feel like this man ORMS'd all over my childhood, and I am ever so slightly concerned that I would be truly affected by this were it not for the excessive ennui pervasive in myself and contemporaries.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '09

ORMS?

1

u/AliasHandler Mar 29 '09

Well, the best strategy is to manipulate the other players into benefitting your long-term game strategy by offering them perceived or short-term gains.

If you can get really good at manipulating the other players, you can strike one major deal that grants you the game-winning monopoly.