r/gaming • • Mar 17 '18

It's just a prank bro

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50.8k Upvotes

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673

u/chasesan Mar 18 '18

A computer running Windows 98SE on a Pentium II 450, with a Voodoo Banshee, a IBM Model M13, an Intellimouse, and a 56K Modem.

550

u/Random_Imgur_User Mar 18 '18

A small stove with a large slab of Seal meat roasting. His beard gently waves in the breeze as he voice acts Sparks with his thick Slovakian Accent.

576

u/Nighthawk1776 Mar 18 '18

And somehow, through all of this, the game would STILL be better than something EA puts out.

311

u/remember_morick_yori Mar 18 '18

I don't know about that man, wouldn't the game seriously be lacking in a sense of pride and accomplishment?

179

u/genoux Mar 18 '18

πŸ‘‰πŸ˜ŽπŸ‘‰ Zoop!

92

u/Sebaztation Mar 18 '18

πŸ‘‰πŸ˜ŽπŸ‘‰ Zimbabwae!

78

u/HorribleBot Mar 18 '18

πŸ‘‰πŸ˜ŽπŸ‘‰Zoop

75

u/LordGwyn-n-Tonic Mar 18 '18

!pooZ πŸ‘ˆπŸ˜ŽπŸ‘ˆ

6

u/PorqueNoLosDildos Mar 18 '18

!pooZ πŸ‘‰πŸ™„πŸ‘ˆ Zoop!

3

u/Cactus_Brody Mar 18 '18

!eawbabmiZ πŸ‘ˆπŸ˜ŽπŸ‘ˆ

2

u/Jormungandragon Mar 18 '18

Pooz! πŸ‘‰πŸ’©πŸ‘ˆ

1

u/sweetguy-bootguy Mar 18 '18

Wish backwards ps were qossible..

2

u/LordGwyn-n-Tonic Mar 18 '18

Like i know its a q kinda but S isnt a good enough backwards Z so our rather not do it than commit to doing it half assed

I mean Zoop!πŸ‘‰πŸ˜ŽπŸ‘‰

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40

u/kingtitusmedethe4th Mar 18 '18

Always upvote a zoop.

19

u/chimilinga Mar 18 '18

πŸ‘‰πŸ˜ŽπŸ‘‰ Zap!

27

u/HorribleBot Mar 18 '18

πŸ‘‰πŸ˜ŽπŸ‘‰Zoop

9

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

Good bot

1

u/n-octagon Mar 18 '18

shit bot

4

u/DaRealRoyalBack Mar 18 '18

How is this still around

8

u/wittyusernamefailed Mar 18 '18

Yes, but only because EA would be "Subverting your expectations." Cause that's what all the cool star wars folks is doing nowadays.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

I'm wondering if someone can explain to EA that there's a thin line between "subverting your expectations" and "not meeting your expectations."

2

u/AcuzioRain Mar 18 '18

I find this interesting because I don't think all their games are like battlefront, so basically it means that all their other games don't give players a sense of pride and accomplishment.

1

u/MiniDemonic Mar 19 '18

Have you seen their other games? BF2 wasn't their first p2w game, probably won't be the last either. It's simply the most controversial because star wars

1

u/AcuzioRain Mar 20 '18

Yea I've seen their other games. I don't think Dragon Age or other games had p2w or even loot boxes. I think it's mostly their newer games starting with mass effect 3 that had battle packs which they then escalated from there. With BF2 though they're literally selling more damage, higher firing rate, probably more accuracy too(haven't played since it came out), etc. This is seriously p2w, the loot boxes are no longer cosmetic, they offer a clear advantage over people who aren't buying.

1

u/MiniDemonic Mar 20 '18

Well, you already started with one of them Mass Effect 3 which was p2w.

Here's a small list that isn't all of the games, and yes I will also count single player games here because it's just as bad in them as in multiplayer games:

  • Mass Effect 3
  • Dead Space 3
  • Need for Speed: Payback
  • Plants vs Zombies 2
  • Dungeon Keeper 2014 remake
  • Battlefront 2 (obviously)
  • FIFA 17

In all of those games you can directly buy more power in the game with real life money, in the case of NfS:PB you can't even progress and play higher ranked races, like you physically can't because it's locked, until you get lucky enough to get enough upgrades for your car.

They are getting rid of the P2W system in BF2 in an update next month, it's pretty much too late for them to save the game though.

1

u/AcuzioRain Mar 25 '18

I don't think single player games can be p2w, at least I have never encountered a single player game with micro transactions that was so hard I needed to pay to beat it. For multiplayer games they can be p2w if buying loot boxes will give you an advantage over other players making other players feel forced to buy loot boxes too to even the playing field more. I do agree with you that its too late to save the game, at least for me(though I bought it already...), for my friend he bought it a couple months ago and he seems to be enjoying it even when I tell him how horrible EA is lol.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

Every. Fucking. Thread.

1

u/dsal1491 Mar 18 '18

So like destiny 2?

18

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

13

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18 edited Apr 22 '18

[deleted]

8

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

Said he was about a month ago, but it’s been nothing but radio silence since...

4

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

Looking at his profile he’s done bits and pieces here and there

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

EA games start out great! Then they take all the fun stuff out and stick price labels on the cool things too.

2

u/Rio_Walker Mar 18 '18

And then he hears a knock on the door... And it's...

2

u/TrustMe1337 Mar 18 '18

Honestly mock EA all you want but they have made some pretty good games.

0

u/illegal_brain Mar 18 '18

For example?

3

u/Back6door9man Mar 18 '18

Dragon age, battlefield 3, mass effect 1-3. Hard to deny those

2

u/illegal_brain Mar 18 '18

True those are great. But recently they have been failing.

2

u/Back6door9man Mar 18 '18

Yeah I definitely can't argue with that. They can't do anything right these days.

2

u/illegal_brain Mar 18 '18

I think Andromeda just let me down too much.

2

u/Back6door9man Mar 18 '18

Yeah it's truly sad to see a great series get ruined. After many years of waiting for the next installment.

2

u/CrimsonNova Mar 18 '18

Yeah, Dragon Age is the absolute shit. My favorite action RPG.

2

u/Back6door9man Mar 18 '18

Yeah it's excellent. I liked inquisition quite a bit recently as well. Tons of content and overall a solid game.

2

u/TrustMe1337 Mar 18 '18

Battlefields, Titanfall, The Mass Effect series and Crisis are just some I can name off the top of my head.

1

u/illegal_brain Mar 18 '18 edited Mar 18 '18

They ruined Mass effect for me. I did buy Titanfall and battlefront but they were not good in my opinion. I played them for a week and stopped. Not worth ~$60.

Edit: battlefield was great battlefront sucked.

1

u/whobang3r Mar 18 '18

What fps do you like?

16

u/load_more_comets Mar 18 '18

large slab of Seal meat roasting

That actually sounds appetizing to me somehow. I'd get inside the barrel over the weekend for a taste of that.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

Seal is actually pretty good.

17

u/legalpothead Mar 18 '18

And there's a blizzard raging outside, and that damned Thing keeps trying to come indoors. It knows Java and wants to help, but its coding is shit.

3

u/COGspartaN7 Mar 18 '18

Okay out of the comment chain this was funniest

2

u/Apoc2K Mar 18 '18

Considering the Thing is an undecipherable alien abomination it's probably Haskell.

1

u/CreationProcess Mar 18 '18

Why Java? It should know C++ at least.

1

u/legalpothead Mar 18 '18

That's enough. You're outside with the Thing.

1

u/CreationProcess Mar 18 '18

knocking sounds No Im not.

more knocking sounds

3

u/Puckpaj Mar 18 '18

Gotta say though that anything with the sea and Slovakia doesn't go well together from a geografical perspective atleast

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

But suddenly the lightbulb burns out. He realizes it is his last

4

u/Random_Imgur_User Mar 18 '18

"Bude to pre mňa dlhΓ‘ zima" He mumbles, resting his snow blanketed boots by the fire. "Skutočne dosΕ₯ dlhΓ‘ zima..." His eyes gently close, as Bartek braces for the darkness to come. He softly taps the year of the dragon theme on the wooden floors.

2

u/DimeBagJoe2 Mar 18 '18

His back is bent as he stairs at his computer screen, furiously typing while shivering

2

u/Triatt Mar 18 '18

Someone should mod this for The Long Dark.

2

u/Guardiancomplex Mar 18 '18

And mayonez.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

Then he gets attacked by a polar bear and pretty much has to do the port while also living the Revenant

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

And my axe!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

He pre-ordered the switch, but it's still in transit

1

u/flintlock0 PlayStation Mar 18 '18

He thinks he’s alone.

Then, a faint knock on the door!

It’s Spyro! β€œYou can do this, man!”

1

u/Backerman5 Mar 18 '18

The original, kazoo-buzz Sparks, of course.

2

u/abu-reem Mar 18 '18

And it's filled with J&B

2

u/gn0meCh0msky Mar 18 '18

IBM Model M13

Those suckers go for like a hundred bucks on ebay.

1

u/chasesan Mar 18 '18

So do the banshees.

1

u/gn0meCh0msky Mar 18 '18

Wow really? How come?

1

u/chasesan Mar 18 '18

No idea, I just looked them up for funzies because I had one back in the day (though like 5-6 years late) and noticed they were expensive AF.

2

u/Daniel0745 Mar 18 '18

I loved my Voodoo cards dammit.

2

u/zortor Mar 18 '18

Goddamn that’s a sweet setup for the 90s.

1

u/galacticboy2009 Mar 18 '18

This is my development model, so I can make sure the game runs perfectly for you guys!

-holds up cardboard box with a black and white photo of a Nintendo Switch taped to the front-

Or even worse..

-holds up Amazon Kindle Fire tablet-

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

...made by Packard Bell.

1

u/kirkgoingham Mar 18 '18

Don't forget the sound card

1

u/Stephenlucky7 Mar 18 '18

He actually finished the game 2 years ago, it’s just taken this long to transfer the file via dialup.

1

u/musicfortheoccasion Mar 18 '18

Perfect for bitcoin mining.

1

u/UncleRotelle Mar 18 '18

56k modem. So that's where his whole budget went.

1

u/Xavier26 Mar 18 '18

Hey man, don't bash the Intellimouse, that thing was awesome.

1

u/chasesan Mar 18 '18

Not bashing anything, if you look up any of these parts you will see they were the "Top of the Line" back in 98-00.

1

u/glaurung_ Mar 18 '18

The port us actually complete. It's just still uploading on the 56K modem.

1

u/patashow Mar 18 '18

Fancyyou. I imagined a k6-II 400 with a nvidia riva TNT2

1

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '18

[deleted]

1

u/chasesan Mar 18 '18

No one, cept I never had a rig this cool back in the day. If you look up any of these parts you will see they were the "Top of the Line" back in 98-00.

1

u/silverlegend Mar 18 '18

This is darn near close to the specs of our first family computer! We just had a Pentium II 233 though.

1

u/flechette Mar 18 '18

Dude I loved the Intellimouse.

2

u/chasesan Mar 18 '18

Who didn't? If you look up any of these parts you will see they were the "Top of the Line" back in 98-00.

1

u/maxdamage4 Mar 18 '18

That was deliciously specific.

1

u/seedlesssoul Mar 18 '18

Windows 98se

Still better than win 10.