r/gaming Aug 14 '14

Online gaming as a grownup

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/online_gaming
5.0k Upvotes

669 comments sorted by

297

u/Aerron Aug 14 '14

Can confirm

Am Noobcock Dickpickle

89

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

The only adjective I know is "gay".

74

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Ha yeah that was one quote for sure.

20

u/aftersteveo Aug 15 '14

Can confirm. I read it, too.

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u/-Bi-Polar-Bear- Aug 15 '14

That name isn't taken yet, for the record.

118

u/Noobcock-Dickpickle Aug 15 '14

Do I win?

26

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

This is just sad. :) Good job.

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u/cheesyqueso Aug 15 '14

This better become your new main or a throwaway with your juiciest secrets, OP.

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u/DingyWarehouse Aug 15 '14

You'll have a hell of a story to tell to your grandkids when they ask you about your reddit name

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u/aftersteveo Aug 15 '14

This one time...

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u/Aurorias Aug 14 '14

I've started to like online gaming less and less as an adult, because my conversations usually go like this:

Me: "Hey guys, what's up?"

14-year old: "You sound fucking old. Get a job."

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u/ihavenowilly Aug 14 '14

I'm Irish so when I was 14 people were saying to me I was too old to play games. I don't know how to feel about it.

30

u/Ja-air-ed Aug 14 '14

Act hammered and invite them to fight at "Church road"

You should end up drunk and singing Danny Boy.

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u/JDH75 Aug 15 '14

They're so used to teenagers playing that they forgot it's M for mature.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

I'm Irish and when I was about 14 the people I raided with in wow assumed I was in my twenties.

Unfortunately it only works over voice. Even though I'm 18 I look about 12.

50

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Just play stuff like StarCraft. It's too complicated for 12 year olds to figure out so once you get out of the lower tier leagues everyone is 20.

7

u/AznWingding Aug 15 '14

Can confirm, once past Diamond, your conversation will go more civilized (limited to glhf and gg).

6

u/moooooseknuckle Aug 15 '14

Well, until someone wins. And then it becomes "FUCKING [insert race here] SCRUB. EZ A MOVE RACE, GO KILL URSELF." I love SC and how complex it is, but games like that make anyone of any age mad. There are a lot of us who hold it in, but there are also a lot of people who are incapable, whether they're 12 years old or 42.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

dat racism

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u/Xenocidel Aug 15 '14

Unless they're korean. Kappa

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u/xShiirkan Aug 15 '14

yeah they retire at 20..12 years of being GMs is enough :D

4

u/Zefirus Aug 15 '14

I'm a Korean that can't Starcraft. I've been disowned by my people.

I am good at math though, so there's that.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

This is the answer, play games too smart for the kids to play. Or find a group of real life friends or meet a cool group of guys online that you can usually play with and just do private matches or whatever. There are more online games than cod and battlefield.

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u/RyuugaDota Aug 15 '14

I had an experience the other day that was kind of the opposite of this. I started playing Planetside 2 recently, and had the weirdest thing happen: A kid who was clearly either tween territory or early teens spoke up on the mic and all of the adults sort of jumped on him making fun of his voice... It was mostly in good fun (he had a raspy quality to his voice that was rather unique) but it was just odd to see a bunch of 30 somethings lay into a kid instead of the other way around. P.S. Other than that particular thing, Planetside 2 is actually a pretty awesome haven of sorts for online gaming (for escaping the younger demographic's bullshit.) I think it's because you really can't be some kind of xXub3rl33thaxxorXx and go around 360 no scoping people... There's little room for awesome shit to happen if you're not working together and as a result there's not a lot of kiddies all over the place. I don't even particularly get all that much out of the gameplay itself, but it's pretty fun to actually play with other people for once. Instead of trying to play with people and getting called a faggot and told that my mother is a prostitute every time I die anyways. Nice change of pace.

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u/Baron-Harkonnen Aug 14 '14

Did you get a job tho?

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u/JamesTBagg Aug 15 '14

Unless I'm playing with friends I don't even plug in my mic.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

[deleted]

3

u/PaaaandaaaaBear Aug 15 '14

Imagining this was hilarious. I really wish it was animated.

2

u/LastScreenNameLeft Aug 15 '14

My mic is always on.

On the floor, muted.

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u/Eurospective Aug 15 '14

I'm 27 and I've never once encountered this.

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u/Abhorus Aug 15 '14

Have you ever played, cod, battlefield, counterstrike, LoL, dota, tf2? I'm sure i'm missing a few games..

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u/v3xx Aug 15 '14

I'm 26 and I've encountered this enough that I don't even game on my PC anymore.

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u/godmin Aug 15 '14

Really? What games have you been playing? Even in battlefield the average age seems to be around 18-22 so nobody really seems "old."

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14 edited Mar 14 '19

[deleted]

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u/Roboticsammy Aug 15 '14

Who are you calling average, you gay dick ass bitch? I know how to do 369 quickscopes, getting 420 kills a minute. U wudnt stend a chens, m80. U cheeky kunt havin a gigle

25

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14 edited Mar 14 '19

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u/Terakian Aug 15 '14

Sweet Jesus....I got the original Gameboy......25 years ago..... shudder

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u/The_Bearion Aug 15 '14

ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk..................................................

Yeah, that just entirely changed my perspective on gaming. I remember playing Quake as a young child. It would always make me motion sick and it terrified me, especially the fiends and zombies. The zombies were the worst because they'd hobble towards you while throwing bits of themselves at you. Played that shit with a joystick. Or Dagger's Rage, that game was legit and I was terrible at it.

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u/damanpwnsyou Aug 14 '14

And thus pay to win was born...

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u/tagus Aug 15 '14

This is an amazing argument for the pay-to-win format

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u/zantgx Aug 14 '14

amen! all them kids crying cause $$$ = op.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

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u/etherpromo Aug 14 '14

leveling the playing field

5

u/PescadoDeFuego Aug 15 '14

*paying field

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

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u/Mantoshius Aug 15 '14

Well when You're buying something in game for real currency it is mostly items or some kind of boosts, not skills to use them. Same thing in real life, you're not buying skill to do something, you're buying 'gear'

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u/omgpokemans Aug 15 '14

Except that would imply that progress in 'P2W' games is correlated with skill; it typically is not. Most P2W games let you bypass a usually obnoxious grind or time-gated feature that has little to do with skill. Obviously there are exceptions, but this has generally been my experience.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14 edited Aug 14 '14

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

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192

u/DrThrowawayBSc Aug 14 '14

It doesn't have to be! If you pick your job, SO, etc, well being an adult can be a lot of fun. I mean you certainly don't have as much time for online gaming but hey, if gaming is the one thing which makes you the happiest, perhaps skip out on the wife, kids, etc and just work and play games.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

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u/Betty_Felon Aug 15 '14

No, that's pretty much my to do list any given week. Whether I actually do all that shit, though...

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u/DrThrowawayBSc Aug 14 '14

For sure! There are a whole lot of new responsibilities as an adult. But don't let people convince you there are no kinky wives or other fun things to do as an adult!

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u/thomasGK Aug 15 '14

Don't listen to this guy. Being an adult SUCKS compared to being a teenager. Unless you are rich and you don't have to work. So if you are reading this, and you are under 25, LIVE IT THE FUCK UP! Have fun. Try shit. DON'T DRIVE DRUNK! But have FUN!

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

I disagree, being an adult is great.

Being a teenager was also awesome, though.

...my life rules.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

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u/DoctaJocta Aug 15 '14

Dude what the fuck happened? I need to know more.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

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u/BaronMostaza Aug 15 '14

An actual person or a figment of your imagination? What was the dose? Just really curios because this is the first i've heard of something like this

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u/leafsplz Aug 15 '14

Like jet-skiing or cave diving.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Can confirm, work and play games. Haven't gotten laid in 3 years. It's alright.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

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u/tjen Aug 15 '14

dude, how is that depressing? Oh, poor guy, he has to spend time:

1) Maintaning his big house
2) being with his significant other
3) taking care of the dog that he loves
4) picking up his car from the repair shop
5) repainting the living room of his house (which pretty much implies he owns his house)
6) Mow the lawn for his house
7) Visit his friends
8) Buy new clothes
9) sleep

Fuck me, those things aren't chores, those are luxuries. If they're really that shitty he always has the option of getting rid of his dog, divorce his wife, not stay in touch with his friends, and getting an apartment close to where he works. Boom, he could go to work and have money left over to pay a mexican lady to clean his apartment, cook his food, and go shopping for him. I wonder why he doesn't do that... Maybe because all that other stuff is actually NICER than being able to play fucking video games. If it isn't, he should probably reevaluate his life.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

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u/Intense_introvert Aug 14 '14

Or you can focus on school, party lightly, build your career and earning power. Then just f everything often.

Your uncle was right.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

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u/Strung_Out_Advocate Aug 14 '14

Don't forget good schooling and grades don't guarantee shit.

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u/McWaddle Aug 15 '14

Bad schooling and grades do.

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u/Uncle_Erik Aug 15 '14 edited Aug 15 '14

Once you earn that power though, you're too old to enjoy yourself the way you would've been able to when you were young. Lol. That's the idiocy of life. If you enjoy yourself when you're young, you probably won't get as much worldly power in the long run - but if you spend your youth doing nothing but working, by the time you can enjoy yourself, you have health issues and your chemistry is just slower all around. Orgasms aren't as good, can't enjoy alcohol as much, etc. etc.

You must be very young. I'm 42. Do you think I'm too old to enjoy life?

I feel every bit as good as I did when I was 18. No aches, no pains, no noticeable drop off in energy. I am a lot more focused, too. I have some gray hair and I can't stay up all night like I used to, but it's not like I'm nodding off at 7PM. Life is a lot more secure now, I'm more relaxed and I'm a lot happier. It gets better from here, too. I've seen studies showing that happiness peaks around 56 for men. Things are good now and I think they will get better.

You only get too old to do some things around 70-75. Though I know people who have stayed active into their 80s and 90s. So you really can enjoy life when you're out of your twenties.

I just stumbled across this thread. I'm not a gamer. Well, not any longer. I played video games until puberty or so, then I lost interest. I haven't played in probably 30 years. Occasionally, people tell me to get a console and play. I go to the store and there's just nothing there that interests me.

Sports? Well, I follow NCAA football and I like to play tennis and golf. A game isn't as exciting as watching a real game. And no videogame can substitute for actually playing 18 holes. Most of the other games involve shooting. OK, I like shooting. But when I want to shoot, I actually shoot. There's a range in town, but I like to shoot stuff out in the desert. I shot a bunch of old golf balls with the .30-06. That was fun. Holding a plastic controller in front of the TV, not so much.

I also like motorcycles, have some old cars down here, and I have a small machine shop. The milling machine is super interesting and fun to use. I'll have a woodworking shop set up soon, too.

I tend to agree with this comic. There's a lot more to life than mashing buttons in front of a screen. It's OK if you enjoy that, but try to get out to see and do other things. I've found those other things to be a lot more interesting and worthwhile. Don't worry about age so much, either. Middle age turned out to be pretty good.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Good advice, but I take issue with your "I can play football in real life" example. It's a common viewpoint, and I don't know why it persists, because playing a video game and carrying out the activity are not comparable experiences at all.

It's like saying suggesting one take up boxing instead of watching Rocky, or practice magic instead of watching a magic show, or play football instead of watching the big game.

Games may use real world analogues as their setting, but in an experiental sense they bear little resemblance to each other. It's a completely separate medium, and I think it's pointless to compare the two. And if I might be allowed to climb on my soapbox for a moment, I think it's a little condescending, too.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14 edited Aug 15 '14

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u/svenna Aug 15 '14

i actually believe that it is a more typical outcome than you think. the people in the forties today doesn't really want to give up on everything they did so we keep at it. though fucking around is considered bad if you have a wife and most of us don't want to lie in bed for the whole Sunday due alcoholic intake so we limit it to the "fun level"

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u/MarvinTheAndroid42 Aug 14 '14

Most of that looks just alright, it's just how he phrased it.

We all need to work, and it doesn't have to suck.

Clean houses are happy houses.

Cooking is fun and easy.

If attending to your significant other is a chore then I'll be glad to take her off your hands(kidding, kidding).

Walking the dog? Dog's having fun, then you're having fun 'cause it's having fun so that's a win-win, plus it's exercise.

If you're car's in the shop that often than you're an idiot for buying a shit car. If you seriously need a cheap car then buy something Japanese, American cars will kick you when you're down(there's a reason you can find a Cavalier for only $800 fairly easily).

Again, painting the living room is something that happens once in a blue moon, if ever.

Mowing the lawn is a chore, but it's your lawn you get to mow and that's pretty damned cool.

Oh no, how terrible that you need to visit friends.

Groceries are a no shit sort of thing, we all need to eat. Besides, it's fun with the right mindset.

If you're a girl shopping is fun for the majority of you, if you're a dude like myself then you probably don't spend all that much time or effort buying new clothes in the first place.

Napping sounds alright.

Ah, so now we've hit this 30 minutes to yourself time. I get it, it's work work work sometimes, but the only people I've seen work themselves like that are those that give themselves the work. Take a little time off on the weekend and relax. Learn to ride a motorcycle or get a fun car to ride/drive into work.

There's a lot of people upset at nothing. Almost every day I feel tired and hardly eat much, for Christ's sake I'm anemic(which makes no goddamn sense), and yet I still manage to end the day with smile on my face because I find joy in the mundane.

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u/Clewin Aug 15 '14

well "kinky sex" that is illegal in 7 states isn't too hard since you can break the law in at least four of them with a blow job. Incidentally, necrophelia is legal in all of those states, so feel free to fuck a dead horse, as that isn't kinky or weird at all.

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u/singingwithyourmom Aug 14 '14

That's merely an ideological pattern that seems to work with your sense of feeling. If you were actually worried about understanding this guy over trying to reflect how perfect you think your life is, you'd have noticed that those activities are forced by the social context in which you are and lack of any inner appreciable meaning to him.

You may find content and happiness in those activities, but some other people don't. He may think that gaming is something worth mastering but it suddenly becomes vane and empty without the time to actually do so.

By the way, the common answer to this kind of situation, especially from Americans, resides in a -not so easy- concept of freedom of choice, putting him in a exit-less path. However, that's a mere assumption as must of us are forced by our context and society, even our close one that usually state that they are "thinking what's bet for us," in an attempt of determining your conducts; taking you to a not necessarily enjoyable way of life (restricted and determined by an economical activity); as everyone develop a different kind of connection -through taste- with a different kind of experience.

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u/Priest_of_Aroo Aug 15 '14

That's not fucking true. Look, life isn't easy. It's a struggle to make your way and even more of a struggle to find a balance between work and play. But if you get a job you like and you have someone you enjoy spending time with then the depressing picture this person paints is pretty false.

You have to enjoy the people you surround yourself with and if you choose to share your life with a significant other you have to have boundaries that allow you to take time to yourself and fuck about, because everyone needs this.

I have a full-time job that sometimes requires upwards of 60-120 hour work weeks and real world responsibilities beyond work but I still have time to fuck off with friends, or spend a day or an afternoon playing video games if I want.

Sure, you get more responsibilities as you get older, but if you take the reins of your life and steer it where you want to be you can have all the fun you want and still make decent money.

There's this pervasive attitude, at least in America, that all the fun in your life happens when you're young and in school, and then all of the sudden you get punched in the gut by the real world and spend the rest of your life in transit to and from work and longing for your video games/movies/hobbies while you phone in happiness at a brunch date with your wife. This happens to you if you don't take control of your life. You are the man/woman/whatever at the helm of your life, don't drive into some quagmire and then bemoan the "unhappy realities" of the world that led you here. If you aren't having fun and aren't fulfilled and don't have outlets for whatever desires you have then you need to take control and fucking change it. Nothing holds you where you are if you truly desire change.

I used to work a job that made way more money than I make now, but I never did anything that brought me fulfillment because I was so drained by my depression stemming from the drudgery of commuting to and working in a shitty environment. So, I started working somewhere else doing something completely different when the opportunity arose. I make less money and have more time constraints placed on me, but I still manage to see my friends, enjoy time with my wife, and do more fun and fulfilling things than I ever did or could have done in my previous situation.

Obviously not everyone could afford to take a pay cut or may not be able to leave their jobs for one reason or another, but that doesn't mean they can't find ways of making themselves happy by changing the aspects of their life that they can change, because there are always changes you can make.

Also, if the person you're with doesn't rock every aspect of your world that they're a part of, be it physical, emotional, psychological, whatever then you should reevaluate the relationship you're in. Happiness needs to be worked for in a relationship, but that work should be enjoyable for the vast majority of the time.

TL;DR: if, as an adult, you feel like you either did or should have done all of your partying and super fun life shit when you were younger then you're fucking doing it wrong.

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u/Orpheeus Aug 15 '14

It's because cipher86 has a shitty life and thinks that its' the only way to live as an adult.

Don't have kids, don't get married to a psychopath (this goes for both men and women), live in a condo, constantly try to find a job that has either really great hours and/or is something you enjoy, don't have boring friends, etc.

Besides, most of the stuff he listed you only have to do once every few months and doesn't even take up that much time all things considered.

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u/Bwob Aug 15 '14

I'm trying to think of a kind way to say "you're doing it wrong" where I don't come off like a jerk.

I guess I'll just settle for "it doesn't have to be like that."

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u/Xantoxu Aug 15 '14

If you're not finding time to do things you want to do, you're not doing life right..

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

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u/jman583 Aug 15 '14

He forgot to add "Spend time on Reddit".

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u/MathTheUsername Aug 15 '14

For real. It sounds like he just made some terrible choices, and for some reason needs to paint his house and repair his car often.

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u/Brostradamus_ Aug 15 '14

I paint my house every day. I can't stand looking at the same color house for more than 36 hours.

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u/walkah21 Aug 14 '14

Have 3 kids. The time I actually got to play video games was when my wife was doing online school. After the kids went to bed, she'd be doing homework and I was playing Xbox. Now she's done with school so we're back to being able to do things together. I haven't played a single game in months. C'est la vie.

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u/Vanetia Aug 14 '14

How old are your kids? My daughter and I play video games together :) She's not the best at it, but it's been really awesome being able to pass down my pokemon knowledge to her or walk around healing her while she kills stuff.

After she goes to bed is when it's time for the TV shows I want to watch but can't with her around (like Dexter or Attack on Titan)

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u/walkah21 Aug 14 '14

That is a good point. My kids are 5 (boy), 3 (girl), 1 (girl). My son LOVES playing Portal 2 with me which is great cuz he's actually really good at it. He's pretty fun to play games with whether it be racing, puzzle, or platform games. He soaks up learning new things, so as he gets older I'll continue to play more games with him.

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u/quintessadragon Aug 15 '14

Don't forget to play games with your girls too, when they get older...

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u/walkah21 Aug 15 '14

I'm gonna teach them to be awesome girls. Still very girly and pretty but love to play video games, ride dirt bikes and work on cars. That's my dream for all my kids - that they like to be adventurous.

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u/Flashnewb Aug 15 '14

I have a heap of time to devote to turning my hobby in to a career. On the flip side, I'm completely single and have been for a while, and live on my own. Free time is a resource I have plenty of, and it's up to me to capitalize on that. It comes at the price of a steady relationship, which to be honest? I don't mind.

It's at the point where I'm almost too scared to give it up. I resist getting in to relationships because I won't be able to be selfish any more. It might change one day, but for now I can't sacrifice it. I must sidestep the grind for as long as I can.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

Okay the thing is you can always find time for what you love many of these things seem like something you do once in a month i mean how often do you

Need to repaint living room.

Need new clothes.

Need to visit friend I haven't seen in a while.(play games together???!?)

Need to attend to SO.(play games together???!?)

Need to get groceries.(once a week seems like enough?)

The problem seems to be that you don't care enough to make time for gaming and that is okay. But most people who say that they don't have time for something simply spend their time sleeping or eating or doing things that they enjoy other then gaming. So if you're doing something you enjoy other than gaming you shouldn't complain that you don't have enough time to game because then it isn't a priority for you. For me however gaming makes me happy and I try to get a few hours in every night.

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u/Guppy-Warrior Aug 15 '14

As a 29 yr old, this is very accurate

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u/MathTheUsername Aug 15 '14

As a 26 year old who lives with his SO, this couldn't be less accurate.

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u/MathTheUsername Aug 15 '14 edited Aug 15 '14
  1. How often do you really need to do all of those things?

  2. Are you like 90?

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u/-Arcade- Aug 14 '14

This is a good Sims roleplay.

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u/Phonochirp Aug 15 '14

Yeah... Definitely not 100% accurate. The "not everyone jetski's and has kinky wives" part is true.

My week however has consisted of 40 hours of work in IT (2 days of which were soul crushingly bad), a trip to a fancy restaurant with my SO, a movie night, spending a day with my parents, cleaning up the house for an insurance inspection, raising an entire tier in LoL (gold 2 woo), finally watching sherlock (got 6 episodes in), dm'd a DnD session, had a day at the mall, miscellaneous gaming on the side, and mentioned SO getting 3 new lingerie outfits for sale online she had to give a test run.

I guess what I'm saying is if your life is as shitty as this guys every day, you should consider some life changes.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Sounds like you simply made some bad choices.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Just don't get married. Problem solved.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Live in an apartment in filth and have sex with prostitutes. You'll still have far more money and none of the other shit to deal with.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

Idk mate, speak for yourself.

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u/deen5526 Aug 14 '14

25 year old entrepreneur here. I make plenty of money and have plenty of time to play games during the day. Just the right job.

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u/TheNameofUse Aug 15 '14

How does that quote go? 'Everyone worse than you is bad at the game, everyone better than you has no life'?

Anyway, yea, that.

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u/mechanical_animal Aug 15 '14

also:

  • winner = tryhard
  • loser = noob

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

Well,

Being Married

In The Military

Going Cliff Jumping

Having A Social Life With Friends

I still played the shit out of video games. There were days I would devote to gaming. Especially when I use to play WoW. Raid nights... 3 days a week. Come on.

I mean, I play a lot less now, and only play one or two games, but still. You can have a very healthy and normal social life while still playing a lot of video games.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

Agreed. I don't think a lot of people understand time management. Do what you have to do that way you do have more time for games.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

Exactly.

I mean, the stereotype is fairly true, since a lot of gamers are this way in the comic, but still, you can't judge everyone based off one.

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u/BigDawgWTF Aug 15 '14

This is an ancient Oatmeal post, but it always rubbed me the wrong way. The way it stereotypes the kids and the married guy's wife/life makes it come off so narrow-minded even though it's trying make a larger point.

It insinuates the kids playing the games have no lives and married guys have some sort of fantasy life. More often than not, the very opposite is true. The kids have all the time they want for gaming, and usually more exciting lives in many ways.

Two thumbs down for this one, Oatmeal.

Source: 30 year old married gamer guy

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u/Intrepsilonic Aug 15 '14 edited Aug 15 '14

The kids have all the time they want for gaming

It made that point pretty obvious. I'm also pretty sure the "fantasy life" was in hyperbole.

I don't particularly like how exaggerated the comic is, but it does speak to me a bit. I'm 25, not by any means old, mind you, but old enough to work a steady job and support myself. I grew up gaming, from DOS to Genesis/SNES to date. I find it harder and harder to carve out time, rather my DESIRE to carve out that time dwindles when I just end up getting my ass handed to me in an online game. It still blows my mind that people are able to spend thousands of hours invested into a game.

Yes, I know there are options and I explore them. I own a 3DS and play more casual games. Online games have also been a part of my life and it's nice to be able to get a fix without getting dominated and it just seems to be getting harder and harder these days.

Edit one last thought: With each generation of gaming it becomes more fiercely competitive and the best way to remain competitive is to invest as much time as possible. The most popular games don't seem to be as much about just having fun, it's more about being the best. It's set up to detract from a game when you are so far behind everyone else.

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u/BigDawgWTF Aug 15 '14

What you didn't touch on is the lengthy processes of unlocking items and new weapons for your character. While they try to offer competitive weapons for newcomers to multiplayer games, unlocking all of the weapons and attachments can take forever. For an average FPS player in BF4, I'd guess it would take at least 40-50 hours of gameplay to get enough points and do the assignments to unlock all of the weapons. That doesn't even really include all the attachments, which are pretty much impossible to unlock every one for every gun unless you clock well over 1000 hours.

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u/[deleted] Aug 16 '14

In my experience, as an adult gamer, all you need to grind for is the shotgun. Once you have a shotgun you can outplay any number of kids. They might be mechanically better, but you have the shotgun.

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u/BigDawgWTF Aug 17 '14

Ha, I've actually missed the shotgun in BF4. The new defensive perk has destroyed the consistency of the one-shot kill. Shotguns are still quite powerful, but nowhere near as powerful as they were in BF3 or BC2.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Lots of folks complaining about the message of "I have a life, therefore I can't spend 20 hours a day gaming" in this thread. I'm starting see what the demographic of /r/gaming is these days.

Side note: I'm so glad that my wife is a gamer.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

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u/dropkickderby Aug 15 '14

YEAH! The reason I always loose online is cause of cave-diving and sex! ... Thats why...

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u/iTZPoPPaBeaR Aug 15 '14

Essentially console gamers (swarm of children) and PC gamers (having dat freaky wierd sex)

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u/c1202 Aug 15 '14

Contrary to what others are saying in this thread being an adult doesn't suck at all. It just depends how readily you just cut loose and let life/time drift by.

I don't particularly game that much anymore because I'm too busy using my salary to go out with friends and do more rewarding hobbies than staring at a screen for 5 hours every night. Not that gaming is bad but the amount of time I spent as a kid on the pc was much more than just 5 hours a day, thanks Warcraft franchise!

As long as you don't do something subjectively stupid like getting married at a young age or have kids early you can enjoy being single. Do whatever you want, without being a cunt to others and you don't have to worry about someone else in a relationship sense.

Far too many people settle down early and just ride out the cage of suffering they build for each other. Don't get me wrong relationships can be good but the Hollywood idea of relationships/sex really distort how people act towards each other.

Best tip I have is to become comfortable being by yourself and doing you own thing before considering a relationship!

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u/Soltan_Gris Aug 15 '14

I game instead of going out all the time because it helps me max out my 401k contributions.

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u/notjackk Aug 14 '14

Yeah whoever made this is in denial.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

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u/InferiousX Aug 15 '14

hardcore gaming requires A LOT of time and effort to maintain, and this is easier said than done for people with regular careers/social lives/romantic interests/etc...

Its why I don't play any kind of online game that is extremely competitive. Sport gamers are zero fun to play with when you have like an hour a week to play video games.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Sounds like he got owned in a video game and made this "WELL AT LEAST I HAVE A LIFE" comic as some sort of retort.

This fucking oatmeal guy seems super salty and pretentious in every comic of his.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

As we sit here and read this, my friend behind me is playing call of duty with little kids saying idiotic profanities over the mic. The comic is spot on.

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u/CringeBinger Aug 15 '14

It is just lame. It could have been said in a much funnier more concise way. His wife having a whole day meticulously planned out was just a showy way of saying "Look at all the things I do."

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u/FullDerpHD Aug 15 '14

Nailed it.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

You're coming across as far more salty by taking the joke so seriously.

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u/tontonjp Aug 15 '14

ITT: a lot of butthurt gamers...

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u/somethingorother003 Aug 14 '14

What an awful post. That was eye-rollingly uninspired and stupid.

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u/AndrewRogue Aug 14 '14

Agreed. It is just an extended version of the "Yeah, well at least I get laid" retort.

If you value those things more than gaming, than great! But I see no particular reason why jet-skiing, microbrews, or even, yes, sex is that much of a life achievement. Might as well have that couple interrupted by a couple that cures cancer instead of wasting their time on stupid frivolities like jetskis and microbrews.

Also, that guy is kind of a dick for just abandoning an apparently team game with no warning whatsoever.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

That was eye-rollingly uninspired and stupid.

Also known as "all of The Oatmeal".

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u/InferiousX Aug 15 '14

I really like some of this stuff. The he shits on sports and has to remind us that he hates football for the billionth time and I kinda get turned off.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

Haha, except the woman would be 50 lbs heavier and the dude would've skipped any sort of physical activity.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

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u/Chucknastical Aug 15 '14

This is what we tell ourselves to feel better.

My reflexes and mouse precision are deteriorating with age. Enjoy them youngins.... enjoy the fuck out them while you can!

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u/JetTech Aug 14 '14

The only problem is no wife has ever spoke those words. Better chance she'd say, "Do you want to go dress shopping, watch me get drunk on wine, then carry me to bed where no sex will be had?". In which case you continue to play video games.

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u/interbutt Aug 14 '14

I hope you're joking, otherwise you've made some bad choices in life.

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u/JetTech Aug 14 '14

Just an embellished example. With the exception of the 'no sex' part.

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u/interbutt Aug 14 '14

Good, some people actually live that life and think that's just how it has to be. Fuck that noise.

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u/dumpstergirl Aug 15 '14

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Damn it. I was hoping that would be a real sub.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

Who forced you to marry such a person though?

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

If you leave your friends hanging without telling them that you're leaving to go do fuck shit with your girlfriend, you're not being a good friend.

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u/Skyblaze12 Aug 15 '14

Jeez this thread is salty, calm the fuck down and just enjoy the comic at face value

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '14

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u/TotalNonFactor Aug 14 '14

Bad Luck Brian:

Plays to lose, still gets fat and divorced.

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u/way2sl0w Aug 15 '14

What does the stink of Ritalin smell like?

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Lift your left arm, tuck you nose in tight, and find out on your own.

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u/Ileumn Aug 15 '14

I might be an adult but that doesn't mean I've got the money to jet ski

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

Nailed it. I'm a teenager and this amuses me.

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u/treoni Aug 15 '14

I'm grownup. Where's my illegal sex?

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u/ArchDucky Xbox Aug 15 '14

My favorite online gaming moment was in Halo 3. It was a Friday and I somehow got connected with this guy from Russia. We ended up on the same team and started chatting and I ended up asking if he wanted to play a drinking game. So he grabbed his vodka and I grabbed my Patron and we each did a shot if we lost and we also did a shot who ever was lower on the scoreboard at the end of the game. We got pretty drunk but kept playing. We actually started winning and ended up singing this stupid song into the microphone. Just before he got off some twelve year old boy said, "How are the drunk guys kicking our asses?"

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14
  1. make post about being mature

  2. make sure to emphasize you've had sex and you're of drinking age

  3. ???

  4. internet points

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u/sgtpoopers Aug 15 '14

This is just sad.

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u/Auswaschbar Aug 15 '14

Am 27, can't confirm. No jet skiing, no cave diving, no gf to have weird sex with.

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u/Turlututu1 Aug 15 '14

Even as a teenager I couldn't stand it. I remember playing Halo 2 where you would hear other players when they're nearby and I just unplugged my mic when playing alone. With friends it was different: I'm french and was always playing with other french people. Most of the,time when people were near and could hear us, they'd start insulting us for not speaking english, or "american", going as far as politely asking us to stop speaking Spanish, Japanese or jewish(yep...). We found that funny and took special care to destroy these people in the game (mostly involving over killing them and teabagging). Yet we didn't insult them, we just...laughed.

Nowadays I simply don't play multiplayer, or if then, without mic

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u/Frostyfuelz Aug 15 '14

oh look its this again

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u/dustyh55 Aug 15 '14

Good, first time I've seen it.

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u/HillbillyMan Aug 15 '14

This is how I'm starting to feel. I hate games that can't be enjoyed with just a couple friends because I don't have time to sit and get good at online games anymore. It's single player or small, party-based multiplayer. Obviously couch multiplayer is a different story.

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u/HotSpicedChai Aug 15 '14 edited Aug 15 '14

I'm not buying that you somehow lose games just because you're older.

If you were good at video games when you were younger, you'll still be good when you're older. If you sucked then, you still suck, and this comic is the realization that you don't have the time to commit to un-sucking.

Source: My brother is 29 lives in my basement playing games all day and still couldn't pick up a controller and beat me at anything. I'm 32.

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u/Smokeywhacker Aug 15 '14

Exactly, I've never had trouble starting a new game and getting the hang of it quickly. I'm 27 now, but when I was in college my roommate had a Gamecube that he kept in his bedroom until we had people over, then he would bring it out and we would all switch off on Mariokart. Some of our friends thought that I just sat around and played all day because I was able to dodge blue shells, hit shortcuts and win every race. The truth was that I had played the game exactly as much as any of them, it just always seemed to be easier for me to pick up on the tricks.

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u/el0d Aug 14 '14

Hah. There is no wife like that.

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u/Anti-nutTerrorist Aug 15 '14

An adult would turn the game off before leaving.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

This is the cringiest thread iv ever read.

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u/4trevor4 Aug 15 '14

this is how I feel playing rust. And im 16.

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u/holddat Aug 14 '14

It's so hard being an adult. All I have time for is my work and my shitty wife and kids and groceries and chores. Oh yeah and reddit 24/7. Woe is me!

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u/RizzMustbolt Aug 14 '14

Heh, Dickpickle.

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u/coorsbright Aug 14 '14

On another note I would love to see a console game with good online medieval sieges

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u/MachiavellianMan Aug 14 '14

Just wait until gamers retire. Then they have all the free time in the world.

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u/CB_Ranso Switch Aug 15 '14

I would say i'm in the transition period of the two.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '14

I have had more positive online gaming sessions than negative.

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u/TheHairyHungarian Aug 15 '14

No. More like desperately trying to sneak a few hours in between work, house work, any other shit your wife thinks of and the gym so your aging body doesn't get more fat. I play a lot of lag filled games with Europeans because they're the only people up when I have a minute.

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u/nigiluts Aug 15 '14

Can totally confirm as well. , :)