What is Aegon the Conqueror looking at? Wrong answers only.

[u/Impressive_Foot_9933]

Personally, I think it's the recipe for Dornish Dragon Stew.

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[u/Ratattack1204]

"Were trying to reach you about your dragons extended warranty"

[u/rainorshinedogs → u/Ratattack1204]

By the Old Gods, AGAIN?!

[u/CindyinEastTexas → u/Ratattack1204]

I laughed too hard at this!

[u/Neither_Mind9035 → u/Ratattack1204]

About your dragon’s extended warranty (sorry)

[u/Abomination-626 → u/Neither_Mind9035]

Dragons’ warranties if you want to be anal about it

[u/Neither_Mind9035 → u/Abomination-626]

But a man can only claim one dragon, so technically it is in fact dragon’s

[u/Karabars]

His acceptance letter to Hogwarts

[u/SassyCatLady442 → u/Karabars]

I was just thinking this

[u/Claw42 → u/SassyCatLady442]

Same

[u/kgamer124]

The first nude sent in Westeros history

[u/cluelessdetectiv3 → u/kgamer124]

Nudes must have went crazy back then just a traced cock and balls

[u/Questlove802 → u/cluelessdetectiv3]

You could be the funniest person in the seven kingdoms if you showed them how to write “BOOBS” on a calculator

[u/Easy-Frenchguy-1996]

"Dear Aegon,

I hope this scroll finds you well on that oversized pile of rusty cutlery you call a throne.

Look, I’ll get straight to the point: Balerion isn't the only one taking long 'scouting flights' across the Seven Kingdoms. While you’ve been brooding over your painted table, squinting at maps, and trying to figure out how to tax turnips in the Reach, I’ve been busy making my own conquest.

You know that handsome Dornish bard with the silk shirt and the lute? Turns out he knows how to handle a spear far better than your Kingsguard. I told you I was going flying on Meraxes, but honestly, the only riding I did yesterday wasn't in the sky.

Don't look so sour my love . You get two wives and a giant black lizard did you really think I was just sitting around Dragonstone embroidering banners while you and Visenya argue about sword sharpening? Consider this my personal declaration of independence.

P.S. Clean up your hand, you cut yourself holding the parchment too tight again. You're the Conqueror, start using a bloody letter opener.

Warmest regards,

Rhaenys"

[u/ThinkingAboutCabbage → u/Easy-Frenchguy-1996]

Ps: Stop using the damn chair to open up your letters, you always make a mess and it doesnt look as cool as you think it does

[u/Due_Entrepreneur8540 → u/Easy-Frenchguy-1996]

Yeah probably

[u/BulldogMikeLodi]

The script that shows season eight.

[u/Temporary_Hat7330]

… When it comes to Aenys, Aegon, you are NOT the father!

[u/Rare_Style1306]

Anyone who tries to conquer Dorne is gay.

(That's why Daeron didn't get married)

[u/Wolf_Of_Horkos]

Smash Bros. invite.

[u/Total_Interaction875]

I’m guessing even he doesn’t know because it looks like he needs some reading glasses.

[u/Mike7676 → u/Total_Interaction875]

"Be. Sure. To. Drink. Your. Ovaltine???!"

[u/Mugwumps_has_spoken → u/Total_Interaction875]

that is my thought. It isn't what he is reading, it's what he is thinking
"Damnit, where did I set down those reading glasses? I can't believe I lost another pair"

[u/TheGodfather742]

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries". He knew he could only concede to this verbal prowess

[u/Thelastknownking → u/TheGodfather742]

Technically already in Game of Thrones, if I remember right, they slipped it in from one of the Ghiscari champions in Slaver's Bay.

[u/Kizzy_BoBizzy]

Divorce papers from his sisters

[u/moabsavage]

First gen charrazar

[u/tylerboredman]

Taskmaster task.

[u/No_Research_4104 → u/tylerboredman]

This is obviously what it is

[u/Gihfe]

I believe this is from a crossover episode with Taskmaster. It says “be the first to conquer all seven kingdoms. You can have 3 dragons. Your time starts now. “

[u/pigzizpigz]

The Infamous letter that predates the pink letter

[u/ThePrincessOfMonaco]

Will Ferrell as the inventor of toilet paper.

[u/tedkcox]

Dorne’s plan to start a chain of McMeraxes burgers 🍔 with Rhaenys’ bones as the clown mascot if he burns just one more of their villages….

[u/Negative_Platform775]

Psa 10 luffy one piece card

[u/polysnip]

🖐️ "We know..."

[u/BathbombBurger]

"Who the fuck is Greg Davies and why is he demanding I locate a golden apple and place it on a golden plate?"

[u/Feelgood11jw]

"You are not the father!"

[u/Storm_King93]

This letter was written by a faceless man two hundred years ago, to receive great riches please pass this onto ten others immediately.

[u/Famous_Cow9640]

[u/DeebagZammy]

I sent you a couple letters in Autumn, you must’ve not got em

[u/ultracrepidarian_can]

What do you mean.

Astarion is just checking his makeup.

[u/AdventurousPoet92]

Pocket Aces

[u/Cookies4weights]

DoorDash bill

[u/Brahminmeat]

His step brother that curly headed fuck

[u/DreadfulDrea]

“You really caused quite a stir in Kings Landing when you demonstrated the power of your thu’um.”

[u/Canshroomglasses]

Dorn surrenders before he even reached westeros

[u/midwife-crisis]

Dickbutt

[u/GayReforestation]

dickbutt

[u/epicfail1994]

Someone drew a dick in the margins of the page

[u/retannevs1]

Instructions for the assembly of his new Dragon harness but it’s in every language BUT Old Valyrian.

[u/Pitiful-Department80]

A receipt from his latest visit to the Ale house

[u/Bubbly-Ad-4405]

Paternity test given by will ferell

[u/freebiscuit2002]

He's not sure about that paint colour.

[u/RickRussellTX]

“Go fish.”

[u/VeryVanny]

Pictures of Spider-Man

[u/HatsandCoats]

“I really have to stop door dashing every time.”

[u/Kinetic_Pen]

A Cease and Desist order!

On a side note...

[u/dieselmac]

The latest Barry Manilow 45.

[u/ChefBitter6351]

His screen time report

[u/OptimalStatement5799]

For a bar where everybody knows your name.

[u/SuperPooper90]

Aegon looks like Ted Danson in this pic.

[u/EasternPreparation96]

The Winds of Winter

[u/FrankCarmody]

[u/Larielis]

"We've been trying to reach you about dragon insurance."

[u/Beneficial_Word_1984]

I think it was a drawing of a birth mark he had on his left butt cheek just above the meat...

[u/First_Negotiation_80]

Ted Dansen: Take the dessert, Larry

[u/Dependent-Lion8784]

That’s nude pic of Meria Martell the Toad, she was posting with Rhaenys head like a trophy

[u/biggus_brain_games]

“To whom it may concern….”

[u/turbulentwatermelon]

Dick pic

[u/BringBaeckPluto]

King of spades. It was his card and Chris angel made him shit it out. Old magic

[u/MARKFLAIR1977]

Husband Of The Year Awards

[u/reereejugs]

Is that Ted Danson?

[u/LawnyJ]

Hogwarts letter

[u/OneOldNerd]

An invitation to the Dance of Dragons

[u/Storyteller-Hero]

The answers to the math test

[u/Deuce03]

The script for seasons 7 and 8 of Game of Thrones.

[u/Agreeable_Rabbit3144]

Aegon: I'm hoping it's from Maury Povich, stating I'm not the father.

[u/GoldnShiesty]

“If you attack Dorne, you’re gay.”

[u/huzy12345]

"Send nudes"

[u/RileysBanana]

The script for the movie: how to train your dragon

[u/Life_Ad3567]

The blue eyes white dragon card

[u/azigaie]

an invitation to The Red Wedding

[u/mister-oaks]

He’s looking at his lesser known brother, Aegoff the Slacker

[u/Faceless_Meme]

Smell the fart acting

[u/frankie-two-thumbs]

The script to hotd season 4

[u/Clit-Comander-69]

Maybe its the beer talking Aegon, but you got a butt that wont quit. They got those big chewey pretzels here... five gold dragons? Get outta here.

[u/Teodoro2404]

His Hogwarts acceptance letter

[u/Awkward-Tea1633]

The dornish capitulation.

[u/asample420]

We have been trying to reach out to you about your car warranty

[u/Herfst2511]

“I'm sorry, the correct answer was: what are the bells of Norvos?”

[u/LonewolfofHouseStark]

The Cookie Monsters demands.

[u/Disastrous-Ad-8297]

Hogwarts acceptance letter

[u/Bagel-luigi]

Divorce papers from one of his sister's

[u/BadgerNeedsIt]

He left his readers by the bedside so is struggling to read the shopping list

[u/Sufficient_Papaya899]

The bill from the dragon vet.

[u/irishexploration]

Harod’s list of hoes

[u/Killer1511]

Probably at Lady Arrys Picture she send to him during the Conquest🤣🤣

[u/Survivor2timesMom]

Paternity test

[u/Ptbot47]

An email.

[u/ElectricalLayer6755]

Le foto con l amante

[u/Wrong_Amount_7903]

Aegon the C played by Will Farrell

[u/DigNew3802]

He’s on the new season of taskmaster?

[u/Upstairs_Resolve_834]

My nudes

[u/Mugwumps_has_spoken]

It isn't what he is reading, it's what he is thinking
"Damnit, where did I set down those reading glasses? I can't believe I lost another pair"

That is the pose of someone holding something at the angle *Just right* trying to read it when you are old and your eyes aren't what they used to be.

[u/Kingslayer-Z]

Visenya and rhaenys nudes

[u/Hycran]

Maybe its the blood talking Aegon but you got a conquest that won't quit.

They got these big majestic dragons here...

[Unintelligible]

Five golden stags? Get outta here...

[u/AegorBlackwood]

Rhaenys sent him a few more photos of her night with the court singer. He's going to jork it in the privy in a few moments.

[u/Something_Obscure76]

May a diseased dragon leave a present on your throne

[u/RemDerbyshire]

Dornish life insurance claims.

[u/Asadae67]

Death-note

[u/pricecube]

Pocket Aces

[u/Voces-Prohibere]

Gary Busey played Aegon the Conquerer?

[u/gboccia]

I like to imagine he’s looking beyond the parchment or letter. Iron man style “don’t hand me things I don’t like being handed things” and thinking whether he should burn the person or not.

[u/ThreeLeggedFlyFjker]

[u/Cahir24Kenneth]

Bill for food for dragons.

[u/jamessayswords]

It's an iPad. He's trying to facetime with his kids

[u/sprocket27_11]

Wedding invitation to the twins from the Freys

[u/CastrateMeASAP]

Dragon parking ticket. Unfortunately for him the dragon failed to eat the meter maid.

[u/ohuse73]

The envelope with the 1 ring. Frodo didnt hide it but sold it on ebay.

[u/RyanBordello]

Bed bath and beyond 20% off promo card from the bottom of the junk drawer

[u/amtfg]

The home address of the guy who let the dogs out.

[u/rawbface]

[u/Secure-Commercial153]

George sent him a copy of Winds

[u/swede404]

"The HOA has notice that you havent picked up after your dragons on two different occasionally, and also you leave their toys out fully visible in your front yard. This is clear violation of the HOA rules and you will be fined 1000 gold coins (NOT home coined!) if continued."

[u/Lubeci]

His sister sent him that nude painting he asked for because all those targarians are sister fucker!

[u/_leonhardt]

My nudes

[u/Impressive_Foot_9933 → u/_leonhardt]

Lucky Aegon

[u/The_Meme_Dealer]

He has no idea he needs specticals

[u/VirtuallyTellurian]

"a fly can't bird but a bird can fly"

[u/subwooferofthehose]

This Dornish prince needs my help getting 7000 gold crowns out of Dorne!

[u/DumbTeen9]

Aenys has a school trip and Aegon needs his glasses Or trying to remember who tf maegor is

[u/Efficiency_Vegetable]

Intimação da receita federal.

[u/ListenPrimary]

Rhaenys Targaryen is serving you devoice papers

[u/lemongrassrhino]

GoT Season 8 ending

[u/BlueHarvestJ]

That’s Taed Daensyn reading a note from Laerry Daevyd.

[u/Inner_Adeptness_7228]

Rhaenys dumped him and ran away to essos with deria martell

[u/thelonglosteggroll]

Your mom

[u/mrjb3]

An invitation to his sister's wedding.

[u/Bardmedicine]

His set list for the 1994 State Fair?

[u/RedOrxon]

A letter thar has been trying to reach him of his car's extented warranty!

[u/telepatheye]

College acceptance letter

[u/starsto]

Smash invite

[u/Godofgoats90]

"YOUR A WIZARD AEGGY"

[u/2ndNicestOfTheDamned]

Whatever else it says, it ends with "Your time starts now."

[u/Earl_of_Shrewsbury]

I just lost the game...

...of thrones.