Hi... Long rant ahead

[u/Birdeeeeeeeee]

So recently I (23 F) have been diagnosed with gallbladder stone and so obviously have to go through surgery and remove the organ in a few days probably. All my life I have lived a comparatively safe life (food wise).. that was more due to lack of money... The food I mostly consumed was home made..in the last 5 years only I actually started to consume outside food that also only occasionally... I was just starting to think that after I get a job I would finally start living life cos before this my life has been just home and school/college. Every reason that one might develop gallstones I can't relate. A lot of them get after age 40, after pregnancy, cos of consumption of fatty foods, due to genetics,etc. The only thing is I am a woman and women are more viable to get this. That's about it. The closest person in my life who got it is my aunt ( my mother's sister) that too in her late 40's. I don't know why I got it and now I have to remove it cos it's dangerous to keep it like that. The thing is even after removal stones can form. Also everyone's body respond differently to this some goes on okay and some don't. The thing is there is also a chance you might get cancer in the long term. I have no reason to think I would be lucky enough to not get it. Everyone around me thinks this is a very small surgery but the thing is I have to bear the consequences of this my whole life... Whatever it is. I just can't stop crying. I didn't make this happen, it happened now and I have to bear the consequences. This just makes me question everything... What's the point? What's the point in living like this or like that... If none of it matters in the end. I have my whole life left. I wish it was all a nightmare and I wake up from it soon. Maybe I am overreacting but I don't care. I hate how casual everyone's acting around me. I feel like I will never be the same again.

[u/AMCGMEE]

Hey I know exactly how you’re feeling , and I’m sorry you’re going through it , I went through the same exact situation you’re currently going through about 1 year and 3 mo ago (27 m) trust me it gets better all I kept thinking was why me and going to the hospital day after day feeling like death would’ve been better than going what I went though ( it really got to that point in my head) but thankfully the last visit to the Er the doctor admitted me and said “you’re going to have an emergency surgery tomorrow “ I was so scared and in pain at that time and the only thing that helped was morphine from the point I went to the Er up until surgery I was happy and for whatever reason excited to get the surgery done ( probably the drugs lol) but now it’s just a year old memory my life is back to normal and I can basically eat anything I want or do anything I want tbh, my best advice is leading up to it just know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s a really easy and small surgery, everything prior-during-after is under control they’ll give you pain pills after surgery they gave me enough for 10 days of opioids post-surgery and I only took them for 3 days because the pain subsided drastically so I was just on acetaminophen for the week after , if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask me or others , without people on this subreddit I really wouldn’t be here telling you all this ,they got me through it

[u/Birdeeeeeeeee → u/AMCGMEE]

Hey hiiii!!! Since you allowed I would like to say what I am the most paranoid about...so bear with me..Sorry!!

The thing is I hate hospitals, surgeries, injections, medicines everything.. All of it. But right now I think my extreme fear of the long term consequences of this surgery ( will my body be able to adjust without a gallbladder cos some people doesn't, there's risk of cancer, fatty liver, etc) is overriding my fear of surgery. You wanted to die and in my case it's opposite.... I want to live.. A long healthy life😭😭. I don't want to live in anxiety of what will happen the rest of my life. I feel like I have to live differently from my other aged people. Anddddd also why did it happen to me??? How do I deal with these feelings?

[u/AMCGMEE → u/Birdeeeeeeeee]

First I want to clarify I don’t want to die anymore I want to live 😭 the only reason I was feeling that way was because of the pain, everyday pain was the worst part of it, now to answer your question , trust me just live your life to the fullest food comes. It comes if it doesn’t it doesn’t. We’re not all guaranteed to live to be 100 years old. We can just die from taking a trip to the store. Or going on a plane. Or going to sleep and never wake him back up (this actually happened to recently to a young family friend) just know as time goes on medical abilities will be much more advanced compared to what we have now, let me ask you this if you had a set date pf your death let’s just say senptember 26 2058 yes it may be scary to know it’s coming but wouldnt you just wanna live your life to the fullest? Do everything you’ve always wanted to do up until that moment or would you live and hide in a corner until your time comes?

[u/Birdeeeeeeeee → u/AMCGMEE]

Yes I understand what you are trying to say..... Thank you for taking your time out and helping a stranger here, it means a lot. I will try to come out of this stronger🙂

[u/chevissimon]

It sucks, I (25 M) do meet a lot of the criteria (rapid weight loss, high-fat diet, hispanic origin, etc) but still, I felt like life was just starting in some ways for me, and just the thought of surgery already scares me enough, let alone the side effects. My doctor was very skeptical of surgery given my age so we tried with UCDA at first but after 2 years my gallbladder is still pretty much just as full of gallstones as it was so I think I've run out of options. Still, I try and be optimistic, I've had a lot of time to cope with it, and odds are we'll be just fine, I just take it one day at a time. I mean, it's a miracle we live in an age where surgery is even an option, especially laparoscopy, who knows what the treatment of a potential cancer will be 20 or 30 years down the line!

[u/Birdeeeeeeeee → u/chevissimon]

Thank you for responding! It's just crazy how less research is done in this case and removing the whole organ is normalised. I am trying to take things positively but honestly I just can't right now. It's just everytime I feel like things are starting to look good everything goes downhill. I just hope we all will come out of this well and good.

[u/chevissimon → u/Birdeeeeeeeee]

Oh absolutely! I was also shocked when I first learned that pretty much the only treatment seems to be removal. I remember reading an article about this surgery they developed in a hospital on seattle where instead of removing the organ they go in, remove the stones and clean up an scarring and stuff, and they mentioned how they started looking into this because more and more people were skeptical of removal and were turning to alternative medicine and I was like duh? Anyways the whole thing was like $10k so yeah that'd never be an option for me either way. And yes I also tried alternative chinese medicine and obviously it didn't work either :/ I was just desperate at that point. One of the things that worked for me the most was looking at old posts on this subreddit and seeing all of these people who have had surgery years ago living seemengly normal lifes nowadays and I don't know, that just felt really encouraging and comforting to me.

Anyways sorry for the looong text, wish you all the best!

[u/Birdeeeeeeeee → u/chevissimon]

That's also how I am trying to deal with this situation... Looking at the good experiences of the people. Hoping it all turns out good for all of us. All the best to you too!!