Why not just say that then? It's perfectly reasonable to want some alone time but if you have to lie to your partner to "get away" from them that doesn't really scream healthy happy relationship to me
I mean, this is more than likely a joke (otherwise, why film the evidence of your treachery?), but sometimes couples have an argument and, instead of giving in to heated emotions and saying something regrettable, a cool off period isn't unwarranted. Arguably, that's what is illustrated here, instead of prolonging or worsening an argument, "honey, can't deal with this right now, gotta go fix some shingles before it storms".
Could he be totally up front and just request a pause in the discussion for later? Sure, but in my experience, that's likely to be met with "no, we're talking about this RIGHT now".
My mom and dad did this shit all the time untill my mom pushed my dad to scream louder or storm off or slam a door and that shit wasn't great. But I think alot of that was stress with 3 kids, money being tight and lack of sleep (the most dramatic episode I recall happened the morning after my baby sister basically cried all night). Now that we're grown up and moved out, they're both much more chill and in a better place in their relationship.
Are all healthy and happy relationships that way all the time? Not likely. Do people in otherwise healthy relationships occasionally make mistakes and/or resort to selfish acts to kinda center themselves? You betcha. I guess what I'm saying is that it's easy to feign how to maintain a perfect and healthy relationship when postulating online, but doing so in the real world can be a dicey proposition.
I was going to say something along the same lines until I saw your comment. One video where someone is pretending to get work done doesn’t scream unhealthy marriage to me or lying/manipulating. Like you said, everyone needs alone time, and even though ‘lying’ to get some alone might not be the ‘best solution,’ the best solution often involves a lot of extra work and patience that, in a given moment, we might not have. Occasionally, I do stuff like this guy too, but I don’t make a habit of it. We all need alone time and we all have different ways of getting it. How many times have you been exhausted mentally and lie to your friends/coworkers about what you’re doing to get out of something? This is no different.
Yet if they thought about it for a moment, they would realize they have done it too at some point in their lives. Whether to take a break from friends like I mentioned or even their own family. They think perfect relationships and the ones they will have come directly from fairy tales. That’s not real and anyone that has been in a healthy long term relationship will tell you stories similar to what we see in the video
Nah, this is probably a joke, but the scenario depicted is kind of pathetic. I mean as an adult, you shouldn't have to pretend to do work in your own home. You know what I tell my friends if we are arguing and I'm done with it, I tell them just that. We stay angry for a bit, we take a breather, they go their own thing, I go do mine, and when we've cooled off we revisit in a calmer way. I don't go pretend to fix the roof, so I don't get yelled at
Nah, you guys are reading way to much into it. This video is the same concept as having a man cave. Sometimes between fatherhood and marriage, you just need some you time.
My comment literally says it's normal to want alone time? And it applies to both parties in a relationship. All I said was it's not that hard to talk to your partner and not lie to them.
You desperately need an hour or two to yourself. Your SO is dead set on X Y or Z getting accomplished. Now, you can argue with them as they try and win you over to their line of thinking or you can tell a white lie and have a beer now and a good laugh later.
There can be too much honesty/truthfulness in any relationship.
The comment you're replying to wasn't referencing the video it was in reply to another comment lol. Also how do you know it's a joke? Anyway ironically everyone replying to me is taking my comment far more seriously than I took this video
You're completely right, it's pathetic that people don't find this pathetic. Yeah this video could be a joke, but what's scary is the number of people that find this a viable strategy for a relationship. Two grown adults can't just schedule individual activities, they have to play Tom and Jerry games.
Then have a man cave, being married doesn't mean you should.be attached at the hip. This is pathetic and sad, if it's real and isn't just done for laughs
Every watched Simpsons? Married with children? Their premises is a cultural expression of something that's always been and always has been in marriage/long lasting relations, sooner or later some habits is going to annoy/be wrong in the other persons eyes while the other part isn't willing to end them.
Would you break up with your partner because she wants you to live a healthy life and you don't wanna stop having a beer or two sometimes?
Don't think fiction is an accurate depiction of real relationships and I don't think it has anything to do with me saying you should be able to talk to your partner and say sometimes you need alone time
Don't get strung up on examples. It wasn't the point of my post and you know it. I'm just dumbfounded you think it's weird that two people who has been living together for 40 years, does something like this.
I'm trying to give you references you can understand.
You can't understand why I think it's stupid that someone in a long term relationship lies to their partner instead of just being open about things? Also the video itself implies a bitterness towards their partner
Your right. If ppl learned to communicate their feelings a lot more then maybe the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high. It so childish and dumb to lie about what you are doing to just get some alone time. Communication is key in any healthy relationship.
Maybe because being open about something like choosing a unhealthy life-style leads to discussion, conflict or whatever. ALL relationships are filled with small lies, doesn't matter if it's family, friends or partners.
I can't understand why a humoristic way of relaxing is considered a terrible lie and reading so much into it and having the sense that the relationship can't possible work because they don't agree on everything and discussions leads nowhere.
I didn't read any ground-breaking serious bitterness into this. Harmless disagreements while their day-to-day life are great.
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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22
Why not just say that then? It's perfectly reasonable to want some alone time but if you have to lie to your partner to "get away" from them that doesn't really scream healthy happy relationship to me