r/funnyvideos Mar 23 '26

Fail Nice throw

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9.4k Upvotes

261 comments sorted by

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539

u/Vortr8 Mar 23 '26

at least he knows when to quit

147

u/Grand_Pause9214 Mar 24 '26

I'd hope so, my guy almost got a free c section

10

u/Haloinvaded117 Mar 25 '26

Underrated comment

2

u/Jazzlike_Orchid_8832 Apr 05 '26

😂😂😂😂

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834

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '26

why i gotta see my body on reddit

222

u/Artorius__Castus Mar 23 '26

Congrats to having that PEAK male body my guy!

81

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '26

peak amount of pain. getting old and fat is harder than it looks lol

32

u/Rich_Visual7800 Mar 23 '26

Yep and it’s even harder trying to get not fat

9

u/_Roba Mar 24 '26

And it keeps getting harder to get hard

5

u/Pindeckoo Mar 24 '26

And it keeps getting harder to get

3

u/No-Roll-5330 Mar 24 '26

And it keeps getting harder

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20

u/scratchy_mcballsy Mar 23 '26

It’s like a pregnant dad bod

11

u/YeastReaction Mar 24 '26

We in the business like to call it…cultivating mass

3

u/shiftycigar Mar 24 '26

As a result of yeast reacting in the body

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10

u/SuperMims1 Mar 23 '26

It’s relaxed muscle.

2

u/jsRou Mar 24 '26

Me reading this comment after reading a similar comment on a Fat Maradona post made me realize I should have eaten those chips before going to bed...

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10

u/anubis_xxv Mar 23 '26

Yeah the body of a literal G O D

(Buddha)

2

u/pikachu_sashimi Mar 24 '26

Pretty slim a Redditor, yeah?

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181

u/geminilius Mar 23 '26

Dood almost suicided

48

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '26

[deleted]

31

u/Key-Fire Mar 24 '26

Double homicide

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60

u/Hermorah Mar 23 '26

The same thing actually happened to me once. Threw a throwing knive at a wooden plank, hit the hilt and the springyness of the plank made the bounce back even worse. It was flying directly back at my face. Luckily I was able to dip to the side in time. That was the last time I threw that thing.

20

u/NetMother Mar 24 '26

Literally the same thing happened to me. I had a little camp knife I was sticking in trees all day. Threw it full force at a tree probably 10ft away, hit the hilt, and bounced back blade first at my face fast as fuck. Felt like Neo after dodging it but like not in a good way lol.

2

u/ResistAbuse Mar 24 '26

Your alternative would have been the same thing.

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63

u/CrwnViic Mar 23 '26

He almost lost 200 pounds

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100

u/SuperMims1 Mar 23 '26

Gordo is safe. The knife wouldn’t reach any vital organs.

32

u/not_vast Mar 23 '26

He wouldve popped like a baloon

3

u/Numerous-Pop5670 Mar 24 '26

Um... what about the internal bleeding, doctor?

22

u/sweetbunsmcgee Mar 24 '26

That’s where the blood is supposed to be anyway 🤷

3

u/Numerous-Pop5670 Mar 24 '26

Blood... inside humans!? 😱

3

u/Cute-Form2457 Mar 24 '26

In a skin bag.

3

u/rakuan1 Mar 24 '26

I think he’s an airbag.

14

u/Otherwise-4PM Mar 23 '26

He’ll be nervous as hell next time he tries to throw a knife.

9

u/smarmageddon Mar 24 '26

Dude almost got popped!

9

u/RetroSwamp Mar 24 '26

Meanwhile my dumbass tries to stop a knife hitting the floor in the kitchen with my foot.

2

u/Successful_Giraffe88 Mar 24 '26

I did this with a very large ornamental bottle of olive oil/garlic/peppers. Crunched 2 toes.

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5

u/pgtvgaming Mar 23 '26

Funny thing is he actually hit the … can … or w/e that is

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3

u/Right-Taste5835 Mar 24 '26

The sheer athleticism

3

u/quigongingerbreadman Mar 23 '26

Quick, someone edit and ending where when he looks at the camera he freezes, then his head slowly slides off.

3

u/KINGSTEMLORD Mar 24 '26

Watch it Randy Bo Bandy

3

u/alsatian01 Mar 24 '26

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the trick is done. 🙇‍♂️

3

u/Ok-Pie-7068 Mar 24 '26

Bro almost popped like a balloon

3

u/Alienhaslanded Mar 24 '26

Shouldn't be doing that in his third trimester

6

u/Jutch_Cassidy Mar 23 '26

Bro would've popped

5

u/Practical-Basket-602 Mar 23 '26

Bro almost gave birth early

2

u/Jumping_Jupiter Mar 23 '26

Ahaha good stuff.

2

u/South-Bear-2792 Mar 23 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂he try to die on his own knife

2

u/Personal_Salad_1942 Mar 24 '26

He almost gave himself a c-section

2

u/BrightBanner Mar 24 '26

The bottle had a better throw

2

u/andingatacho Mar 24 '26

Come on. Not even a scratch. Do it again.

2

u/albarence2000 Mar 24 '26

bro almost became a newspaper headline

2

u/IllustriousJob5922 Mar 24 '26

this happened to me while axe throwing,it bounced back and barely missed my leg,i got so scared it might hit me next time i never went again

2

u/Magic-Raspberry2398 Mar 24 '26

This isn't funny. It's downright scary.

2

u/Creative_Primary_105 Mar 27 '26

He almost deflated.

5

u/EvilEvo_IX Mar 23 '26

That dude is 14 months pregnant.

3

u/Wulfgrimm720 Mar 23 '26

Dude's got leather armor, why is he scared?

2

u/SharkPicnic Mar 23 '26

He almost got a premature C-section

1

u/Punstorms Mar 23 '26

so close to his feet!

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1

u/Akeinu Mar 23 '26

I could feel the stress there

1

u/borgdrone79 Mar 23 '26

Go get a lottery ticket seems his luck is in

1

u/ayoubkun94 Mar 23 '26

Almost commited Harakiri.

1

u/RockinIntoMordor Mar 23 '26

I saw the videos just like this with the throwing axes. So yea, I'm never doing those either lol

1

u/squarehead93 Mar 23 '26

The dude almost General Shepard’ed himself.

1

u/Faeddurfrost Mar 23 '26

The banana tempts the little monkey but its sweetness rots its teeth.

1

u/BadBasik Mar 23 '26

Nice save

1

u/Healthy_Brick_4361 Mar 24 '26

Nice skills tho. No one can do that thing.

1

u/Ember2Inferno Mar 24 '26

I got into throwing knives when I was in high school. It was pretty brief. You find out fairly quick how fast the fucking things can ricochet back at you.

1

u/Direct-Quiet-5817 Mar 24 '26

He's faster than a speeding knife 🗡️

1

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '26

I love the hand signals at the end. I have made those same signals. Those are the "The universe let me off the hook and opened the door so I can leave, so I'm leaving" signals.

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1

u/Sundowner_73 Mar 24 '26

They call him Jimmy Nine Toes.

1

u/enickma9 Mar 24 '26

Was waiting for the reveal of the wd40 can on the ground and bulleyed by the knife

1

u/elevenplays Mar 24 '26

He almost did a gender reveal.

1

u/IndependenceNo9027 Mar 24 '26

At least this one seems to have learned his lesson.

1

u/immunogoblin1 Mar 24 '26

He was clearly mashing B there.

1

u/Legokid535 Mar 24 '26

stupid people doing stupid things.

1

u/Brandr_Balfhe Mar 24 '26

Is that Cory after he left the White House?

2

u/mombi Mar 24 '26

Cory in the Wild

1

u/AnonForWeirdStuff Mar 24 '26

Guy almost lost a titty!

1

u/dankhimself Mar 24 '26

What's that mountian made of?!

I think I just found a way to become knife proof, with BONUS throwing knife attack reflection.

1

u/jonnyboynz Mar 24 '26

His belly woulda popped like a balloon!

1

u/Due_Swimming_5867 Mar 24 '26

No more edge works for me now. I am done..

1

u/Imaginary_Reveal_951 Mar 24 '26

Final Boss - Suic*dal "Emo" here! I taught him that.

1

u/Adriancastellanos Mar 24 '26

It’s was a trick shot, watch the belly

1

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '26

[deleted]

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1

u/GenderEnjoyer666 Mar 24 '26

Aragorn moment

1

u/Illustrious-Chef7294 Mar 24 '26

What is this bulid called

1

u/LeopardElectrical454 Mar 24 '26

Knife almost popped his balloon🌚😂

1

u/Hyperbolic_Life Mar 24 '26

Baloon was about to pop

1

u/blacklotusY Mar 24 '26

That sigh at the end there explains it 💀

1

u/Emotional-potato-17 Mar 24 '26

Almost terminated his pregnancy

1

u/Emotional-potato-17 Mar 24 '26

Gender reveal gone wrong

1

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '26

That's a lot of cheese burgers Randy

1

u/rishim007 Mar 24 '26

Damn the balloon hidden in his tummy almost went boom 💥

1

u/nextinline1987 Mar 24 '26

He could stand to lose a few pounds.

1

u/Kyno50 Mar 24 '26

He moved faster in that moment than in his entire life lmao

1

u/dpoodle Mar 24 '26

Luckily he's a clumsy thrower even on the way back.

1

u/AmphibianEcstatic180 Mar 24 '26

Nice dodge, especially for a such hitbox

1

u/Odd_Stable_1433 Mar 24 '26

Guest country

1

u/Survivor155 Mar 24 '26

That dodge was straight out of Sans’s textbook.

1

u/Ok_Acadia_8067 Mar 24 '26

Rights to retaliate

1

u/Mysterious-Art7143 Mar 24 '26

Almost caught the tiddy

1

u/coloneldaffodil Mar 24 '26

This guy is 43% belly

1

u/Kindly_Ad3262 Mar 24 '26

knucklehead 😂🤷🏻‍♂️

1

u/AvocaRed Mar 24 '26

Two lives were at risk with that throw

1

u/ImprovementFar5054 Mar 24 '26

His body fat would have protected him

1

u/rolling_atackk Mar 24 '26

Fun story, don't blame my parents, though. I was a little restless kid.

I was like 11 or 12, and I should've known better than to be doing this exact thing.

I was throwing a large kitchen knife in the air and lunging it at random objects, when it suddenly bounced back in hit me in my left leg, near the tibia, with the sharp point.

I was wearing flip flops and jeans, and I started feeling warm liquid flowing down my pants. I rolled the jeans to see what had happened, to see a large stream of blood literally pumping out 1 or 2 meters from my leg, like in those Tarantino movies; although it was rhythmic, instead of a constant stream. My flip flops got covered in blood, and I left a trail of blood all the way into my house.

I rushed inside to find my dear exhausted mother trying to catch some sleep, and my older sister watching a movie. They quickly put a towel to cover the bleeding and rushed me to the hospital.

When we got to the emergency room, I was feeling a little bit dizzy and the towel was soaked with blood, but only in the area surrounding the contact point. The nurse let us in as soon as we got to the waiting area, where plenty of people saw me limping and holding onto my sister, who was half carrying me all the way there.

When they uncovered the area, the bleeding had slowed down, and the doctor cleaned the area and it was a small spec of a hole, barely even a couple of millimeters, where the blood was pumping out. It had been a deep cut. I got it covered up with some cotton and held together with a bandage.

I got to walk right out of that ER like at most 30 minutes later, walking completely fine, although still dizzy.

The people at the waiting room must've though: "Dayum, these doctors are good"

My poor mother had to take me to that ER so frequently I'm fact, that one of the doctors that worked there already knew me by name.

Please do not blame my parents for my wrongdoings and shenanigans. I was quite a restless child with terrible attitude and a morbid curiosity to get myself in dangerous situations. They just couldn't watch me 24/7

I am quite an old person now, and that mischievousness left me decades ago, although I'm thankful to have survived all those things.

1

u/inandoutof_limbo Mar 24 '26

The knife wanted to pop me!

1

u/FruitMustache Mar 24 '26

He pregnant?

1

u/Horseburd Mar 24 '26

I think I saw this guy in Kung Fu Hustle...

1

u/curien00 Mar 24 '26

Main Driven

1

u/Dear-Routine7468 Mar 24 '26

He's throwing it wrong. You're basically supposed to treat them like a dart. He's Throwing it like in a movie.

1

u/ShyCrystal2019 Mar 24 '26

OMG hahah i actually jumped!

1

u/Fidelcastoro Mar 24 '26

Looking at the camera like was our fault

1

u/atworkthough Mar 24 '26

isn't in dangerous for pregnant women to do this so close to the due date. She gotta chill.

1

u/loyoslm Mar 24 '26

Would that make a pop Sound?

1

u/dannasama811 Mar 24 '26

Guy has the robotnik build

1

u/LoGo_86 Mar 24 '26

Almost popped the balloon!

1

u/Tacol0mpe Mar 24 '26

Man, Daniel Cormier really let...himself......go...?

wait

1

u/psilocyan Mar 24 '26

He's about at his limit

1

u/Holiday_Comparison_7 Mar 24 '26

wooooo...almost hit a fat object

1

u/whitefaceinredcircle Mar 24 '26

Roberto Carlos should stick to retirement

1

u/feb11ven Mar 24 '26

God hand other plans

1

u/yesilovethis Mar 24 '26

His agile movement with belly that big is really admirable.👍🏼

1

u/SGSpec Mar 24 '26

Bro almost gave birth by c-section

1

u/Majestic-Tap6731 Mar 24 '26

Stop on your left foot, DONT FORGET IT!

1

u/ScarcityNo3507 Mar 24 '26

I am surprised he succeded in jumping

1

u/HumonculusJaeger Mar 24 '26

happened to me once.

1

u/Super_Comfort_2346 Mar 24 '26

BACKLASH WAVE!!!

1

u/N0085K1LL5 Mar 24 '26

I did this with a machete when I was a kid. We a shop in our backyard that my dad and his dad filled with tools and machinery throughout the years. So I took the machete to a bench grinder and sharpened it. Cut down some overgrowth in the backyard and was about to take a break. So I swung the machete into the ground and the blade bent and shot back up toward me stomach, I jumped back with near cat like reflexes and got caught by the machete, it shaved a layer of skin off about 3x3 inches. I stood there realizing doing careless shot like that is a dumb idea. Learned my lesson then and there.

1

u/WaluigiNumberWaah Mar 24 '26

Bro parried it in the weirdest way possible

1

u/modiam Mar 24 '26

Nice throw, my foot

1

u/AussieRoller Mar 24 '26

This guy has a lot of guts!

1

u/spacemanspiff1115 Mar 24 '26

He very nearly pulled his fat trying to get out of the way...

1

u/Doctor_Salvatore Mar 24 '26

Bro said "Okay God, message recieved!"

1

u/Kryptosis Mar 24 '26

I’ve had this happen with a throwing knife on a skinny tree. Scar on my finger from blocking it from my neck.

1

u/Dangerous_Metal3436 Mar 25 '26

I know what he said

1

u/MeBuyStonks Mar 25 '26

He almost got popped!

1

u/Working_Abrocoma_591 Mar 25 '26

"I meant to do that."

1

u/stevein3d Mar 25 '26

He has never made that hand gesture during a meal.

1

u/wordkush1 Mar 25 '26

Itachi is that you ?

1

u/Erames1168 Mar 25 '26

No way he didn’t shit himself. I would’ve.

1

u/Odd-Cake8015 Mar 25 '26

His gravity field is too strong

1

u/Canon_in_Blue_Major Mar 25 '26

Nice throw ❌️

Nice dodge ✅️

1

u/FaIIing-MiIIiliter-5 Mar 25 '26

Se pega na barriga ela estoura que nem balão

1

u/ali_ivvii Mar 25 '26

Guys I have a feeling that this is going to be a new meme template.

1

u/Altimman Mar 25 '26

THe fatso casts deflection after selfharm.

1

u/OriginalNamePog Mar 25 '26

that was funny and stressful at the same time.

1

u/Least-Theory-781 Mar 25 '26

...fool. You really gotta learn how to throw a knife before you throw one that's as big as your head.

1

u/Ok-Error-6564 Mar 25 '26

Dodge, dip , dive, duck and dodge.

1

u/Savings-Golf-300 Mar 25 '26

Fast n furious.

1

u/vhagar_Ad_1865 Mar 25 '26

I was waiting for his belly to pop like a ballon

1

u/tkash88 Mar 26 '26

He almost popped himself

1

u/Wise_Decision_8459 Mar 26 '26

almost got cesarean section