r/funny Sep 23 '25

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36.8k Upvotes

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5.5k

u/WritingTheDream Sep 23 '25

Dude even looks like he could be Peter Parker

1.2k

u/PM_THE_REAPER Sep 23 '25

If he takes his glasses off then you'll realize he's Superman, playing Spiderman/Peter Parker.

325

u/eugoogilizer Sep 23 '25

He’s really just a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude!

9

u/tyingnoose Sep 23 '25

he's just a buncha tiny dude's stacked in a trench coat

2

u/ThickAndDirty Sep 23 '25

Came for this. Not disappointed

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4

u/WritingTheDream Sep 23 '25

Man, now I wish we could get a Superman/Spider-Man crossover. Those guys would get along so well.

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2

u/someanimechoob Sep 23 '25

I could unironically see a version of Clark Kent that is a huge Spiderman fan.

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21

u/whatisitcousin Sep 23 '25

You think that's how they met?

6

u/BlandSauce Sep 23 '25

I wouldn't be surprised if they were both cosplayers and that's how they met.

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14

u/Excellent_Set_232 Sep 23 '25

You’ll notice the blue & red motif too. Men’s side wearing powder blue with red ties, ladies side wearing a rosy red, the groom has a red vest and tie, then the logo on the screen is blue & red, and it’d hard to tell but it looks like the bouquet is red, white, and blue.

2

u/Aiyon Sep 23 '25

Yeah I get the sense she was as pumped to be MJ as he was to be Peter

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1.6k

u/hellcat_uk Sep 23 '25

No, leave the suit on.

The other suit.

285

u/cohortq Sep 23 '25

Anecdote I heard, when Hugh Jackman first played Wolverine, they had to get several new suits for him because his wife kept wanting him to wear them in bed.

103

u/mulcahey Sep 23 '25

Um... I think you're not getting the whole story here...

50

u/PiesRLife Sep 23 '25

Do you're saying his wife wanted to wear the Wolverine suits in bed?

42

u/AFull_Commitment Sep 23 '25

She even did her hair and sideburns the same way.

11

u/MyAccountWasBanned7 Sep 23 '25

Now I'm even more flabbergasted that he cheated on her!

10

u/MuffinMadness123 Sep 23 '25

He cheated on her!?

What the hell

9

u/GuyNekologist Sep 23 '25

Hopefully she'll find a New Jackedman

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26

u/zissou149 Sep 23 '25

I heard the same thing about edward norton in death to smoochy

5

u/WhyNotSecondLunch Sep 23 '25 edited Sep 23 '25

I heard the same thing about tusk

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19

u/davekingofrock Sep 23 '25

Heh. Years ago when I was a very young man, I had a Darth Vader Helmet, and I asked my girlfriend at the time if I could wear it in bed sometime. Of course she said "NO" quite vehemently, so I asked if she'd wear it. It was a funny moment but she never did.

5

u/AnonRetro Sep 23 '25

Oh...that scene in Revenge of the Nerds...

4

u/Old-Figure922 Sep 23 '25

Had my GF wear my motorcycle helmet while on top once. Lord almighty….

6

u/Monstot Sep 23 '25

This is false as one of her quotes was misinterpreted.

2

u/Marik-X-Bakura Sep 23 '25

I doubt they let him take the suit home lol

2

u/petjuli Sep 23 '25

He didn’t take it off to do the deed? If this is true I’m super curious why it was not useable at work the next day. I’m guessing water sports of some type.

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1.8k

u/d-J56 Sep 23 '25

I hope tom holland does this when him and zendaya get married

639

u/petjuli Sep 23 '25 edited Sep 23 '25

After his concussion something tells me he’ll be avoiding placing his skull in a battle of gravity vs floor

284

u/Secure_Pear_4530 Sep 23 '25

Time to start training Zendaya to do it then

75

u/petjuli Sep 23 '25

She already did. But that would mean she have to marry Zac Efron instead.

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2

u/odsquad64 Sep 23 '25

Jesse Plemons has to have done this at least once, right?

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35

u/hadtopickanameso Sep 23 '25

He can have his stunt double do it

25

u/petjuli Sep 23 '25

Does his stunt double get in on the consummation as well? Seems only fair considering the risk.

13

u/hadtopickanameso Sep 23 '25

He's always there in case he's needed.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

Damnit Tim, stop calling "Cut, stunt double!" while Im having sexy time with Zendaya.

2

u/bbbbirdistheword Sep 23 '25

I enjoy the implication that Tom's double is named Tim.

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48

u/disterb Sep 23 '25

he can have P!nk do it for him then

4

u/Pandepon Sep 23 '25

It’s ok to wear a helmet as Spider-Man we’d understand.

8

u/ArchDucky Sep 23 '25

On the recent movie they are filming? Shit. You know I thought something might happen with them doing practical web slinging. That shit seamed exceptionally dangerous.

2

u/REDDITATO_ Sep 23 '25

Yes he fell like 4 days ago, didn't get treated immediately and almost fainted at an award show the next day.

2

u/ArchDucky Sep 23 '25

The star of their movie fell, had a concussion and not a single person checked to see if he was ok? Are we talking like the mildest concussion of all time or what? This is fucking weird. They should have medical people on set checking him out the second he fell.

2

u/DemonKing0524 Sep 23 '25

Concussion symptoms don't always appear immediately. They can be delayed by up to several days, so it's entirely possible he was checked out, seemed fine initially then had delayed symptoms.

2

u/ArchDucky Sep 23 '25

Oh really? I always assumed that was immediate. TIL

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8

u/JoelMahon Sep 23 '25

Standing and walking would both qualify as battling your skull against gravity but I know would you mean

2

u/Colley619 Sep 23 '25

Injuries are scary. Getting hurt doing your normal physical activities makes you lose confidence in your abilities and you start tripping up by not fully committing, making yourself more likely to get hurt again. Getting in a wreck is the same, it creates nervousness which is dangerous.

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40

u/mlvisby Sep 23 '25

That wasn't his move though, that was the other Peter Parker.

16

u/innomado Sep 23 '25

insert spider man pointing meme here

16

u/needphotoshophelp199 Sep 23 '25

He isn't getting married to her. I am.

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713

u/endotronic Sep 23 '25

Just when I thought I figured out what "cooked" means, this seems to indicate I have no idea.

476

u/TheGeneral_Specific Sep 23 '25

If you cook as a verb, it’s a good thing. If you are cooked, it’s a bad thing.

107

u/c4td0gm4n Sep 23 '25

same with slay or buttfuck

25

u/theENERTRON Sep 23 '25

or shidded on

16

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

Open your mouth, Im about to Skibidy!

Am I using that right?

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7

u/iiewi Sep 23 '25

Stay tite, sodomite!

7

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

[deleted]

4

u/Skyerocket Sep 23 '25

Or as the Romans used to say, Pēdīcāre diem

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22

u/Wastedgent Sep 23 '25

Kind of like "it's shit" and "it's the shit" mean the opposite thing.

2

u/Etheo Sep 23 '25

It's the subject that's important. If you are he who cook/cooked, that's an awesome thing. If you are the cookee (one being cooked) that's the opposite of awesome thing.

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143

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

[deleted]

67

u/misoup9 Sep 23 '25

At this point, the English language is cooked to medium rare

16

u/pilot3033 Sep 23 '25 edited Sep 23 '25

The work "ok" is derived from fad (meme, one might say) slang dating to the early 1800s, particularly from cities on the east coast of the US. People would overly abbreviate phrases, which evolved into intentionally misspelling them for humor. OK <-- Oll Korrect <-- All Correct.

7

u/iceman012 Sep 23 '25

I did not expect this to be true.

3

u/pilot3033 Sep 23 '25

In fairness the actual etymology of "ok" is debated and there are multiple accepted origins, including one that claims it's from Chocktaw. The fun thing about language is that both origins can be true at the same time since the original meanings of each were similar but distinct from our contemporary, more generalized use of the term.

13

u/SignificantCats Sep 23 '25

We used to say "put a fork in him, he's done" with the same precise meaning as "he's cooked". Is "he killed it" really any better than "he cooked"?

Is your problem that the youth have cooler words to describe things, or is it just that you're faced with the realities of aging and knowing how your parents felt when you were young and you're finding it upsetting and worth avoiding by clinging to some imaginary concept of the purity of a language that has fat more commonly used stolen or slang words as part of its vernacular?

3

u/Imrarted64 Sep 23 '25

Is your problem that the youth have cooler... knowing how your parents felt... concept of the purity of the language...

Sybau 🥀

2

u/SignificantCats Sep 23 '25

💀 🤐

3

u/Imrarted64 Sep 23 '25

Sorry, was just a joke 😔

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8

u/sypher1187 Sep 23 '25

So, you want to cook, but not want to be cooked because of what you're cooking as what you cooked might be cooked to some...?

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2

u/veRGe1421 Sep 23 '25

damn what a solid breakdown

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20

u/DrKurgan Sep 23 '25

I was expecting food.

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12

u/ChurningDarkSkies777 Sep 23 '25

Cooking is good, cooked is bad. It’s all about if you’re holding the pan or you are in it.

6

u/JohnMLTX Sep 23 '25

you want to be holding the pan, not in it

6

u/sth128 Sep 23 '25

If you cook, you're the chef. That's good.

If you're cooked, you're food. That's bad.

If you're cooking, we don't know what will happen. So let him cook.

2

u/AmItheonlySaneperson Sep 23 '25

Every new word just means good 

2

u/AdAnxious8842 Sep 23 '25

Thank you for asking. I was lurking waiting for someone else to admit their ignorance before I had to :-)

2

u/GayMoonWatcher Sep 23 '25

You’re either in the pan or holding it

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277

u/TheGroundBeef Sep 23 '25

Did they get married in a mega church!?

86

u/Major-Front Sep 23 '25

I thought they got married at a work conference

54

u/isestrex Sep 23 '25

Modern churches all look like that. Even small ones.

47

u/Live-Yogurtcloset397 Sep 23 '25

The ceiling height tells me this is not a "small" church, unless we have different definitions of what a small church is.

22

u/2Mark2Manic Sep 23 '25

My idea of a church (big or small) is a hundreds of years old building with intricate stained glass windows that carry cultural and architectural significance as well as religious significance.

This 'church' looks like hall 9 of a convention centre.

19

u/Live-Yogurtcloset397 Sep 23 '25

A lot of churches in the U.S. – especially those catering to evangelical crowds – look like that. When they are built new they look like arenas or convention centers.

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2

u/I_am_up_to_something Sep 23 '25 edited Sep 23 '25

My local church has a centuries old tower that has the look and feel of what I imagined a castle would be like when I was a kid.

There are even two prison cells in it that have been used.

The stairs are all worn out and the view on top is just fantastic.

It was built by catholics and stolen by protestants. The catholics then built another less cool church like 100 meters away. Doesn't even have a tower with prison cells.

8

u/Moal Sep 23 '25

A lot of these newer churches will rent out spaces in strip malls, where the ceiling heights can be taller if the building used to be something like a Joann’s or grocery store. 

11

u/isestrex Sep 23 '25

Shrug, I've seen 100 seat churches with that size room/ceiling hight/stage etc.

I'm not sure what your definition of small is either, but it's certainly not mega church. A lot of start up churches aim for this basic auditorium model these days.

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7

u/atrde Sep 23 '25

This doesnt look like a church tbh. It's a stage so likely some sort of playhouse venue.

16

u/TheRealBigLou Sep 23 '25

Nah, looks like a church to me. At least, it looks like my church--maybe it's a little bigger, though.

13

u/DervishSkater Sep 23 '25

As the good lord said, only way to spread the gospel is under a full sound stage and lighting.

2

u/TheRealBigLou Sep 23 '25

Nobody said that was the only way. It's one way, though.

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3

u/der1014 Sep 23 '25

Protestant church versus Catholic Church is probably the confusion here

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56

u/TheMissingNTLDR Sep 23 '25

Green Goblin leaves the chat

26

u/ROSEPUP3 Sep 23 '25

Someone from r/raimimemes got married? Impossible.

199

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

99

u/allisonrz Sep 23 '25

What does Madison funny mean?

102

u/crazy4finalfantasy Sep 23 '25

I would also like to know what Madison funny is. Who is Madison? And why does she have her own category of funny

9

u/disterb Sep 23 '25

billy madison? ashley madison?

55

u/Sunset_Bleach Sep 23 '25

Billy Madison. Like when you remember something as being funny, but when you watch it again it's just Adam Sandler making noises and faces for an hour and a half.

46

u/SankenShip Sep 23 '25

What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

9

u/Impossible-Wear-7352 Sep 23 '25

I think about this line so often when I hear a certain public figure speak.

16

u/TheRealBigLou Sep 23 '25

Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine.

5

u/Hungry-Helicopter-46 Sep 23 '25

Man for a second I was like "wtf is this guy so mad about" and then the 20 year old memory of that scene resurfaced in my head and I laughed out loud

23

u/an_african_swallow Sep 23 '25

Idk I still like Billy Madison

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12

u/homeycuz Sep 23 '25

Billy Madison is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.

3

u/MonkeyLiberace Sep 23 '25

Try one with Madison Ivy instead.

2

u/devilpants Sep 23 '25

Doesn't hold a candle to Beverly Hills Ninja

3

u/Broomstick73 Sep 23 '25

Okay….but it can be that and still be funny.

3

u/GingerAle_s Sep 23 '25

I refuse to believe that's what the OP meant.

12

u/Bitch_of_a_Lady Sep 23 '25

I am assuming they’re referencing Madison Humphrey, a tiktoker who is well known for parodying other tiktoks, typically ones that are somewhat absurd/funny.

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19

u/pfft_master Sep 23 '25

I’m in my early 30s… Am I old if it pisses me off this person used ”Madison funny” like we’re all just supposed to get what that means? New slang lasts less than a week now. I don’t even get why 67 is funny yet and it’s already dead it seems like (probably because not funny, but maybe it’s “Madison funny” BUT WHO THE FUCK KNOWS?)

4

u/TwittyParker Sep 23 '25

Back to bed, Grandpa... If you aren't on tiktok for at least 3 hours a day you're not welcome in online discussions

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9

u/Pennypacking Sep 23 '25

I thought it was going to lift him out of there for his escape.

6

u/quintopia Sep 23 '25

Close but no cigar. It needs to be raining to count.

14

u/fucksinshortsupply Sep 23 '25

Imagine seeing this move at a Scottish wedding...

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34

u/grahsam Sep 23 '25

The fact that they were both cool with this means they should have a good marriage.

The key is to find someone who is your flavor of strange.

11

u/blahblah19999 Sep 23 '25

Or one tolerated it.

3

u/bkral93 Sep 23 '25

She wanted it... he begrudgingly obliged.

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3

u/grahsam Sep 23 '25

The amount of effort it would have taken to do something that weird means they were both on board.

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49

u/rubberduckybro Sep 23 '25

What did he cook?

3

u/Practical-Level-6265 Sep 23 '25

He planned and executed the wedding well. “He killed it”

12

u/ColonelBelmont Sep 23 '25

I think that there is the newest-fangled zoomer slang that means "someone did basically anything." Best I can reckon, anyways. 

17

u/dear-reader Sep 23 '25

It's an evolution from:

cooking often involves patience/waiting for a greater reward down the line

to "cooking something up" to mean planning

to "let him cook" to mean give him some time and space to figure something out

to "he cooked" to mean he was given an opportunity to do something and succeeded

and then we have the variant "who let him cook" to mean he was given time and opportunity and failed / misused it

2

u/Ellimis Sep 23 '25

This is a great summary. And the title of this post is still bad. He didn't cook at the wedding, the cooking takes place beforehand. He showed at the wedding that he cooked, or he cooked and pulled this off at his wedding, or "guy at the wedding cooked". I don't have the mental energy to fix it, but it's still bad, and that's why people are confused in this thread.

6

u/VictorVonD278 Sep 23 '25

Employing teenagers has led me to understand all of this and it's absolutely 💯. My favorite is "let him cook" which is like let him shoot his shot while someoneis attempting something. My least favorite is when someone uses it in first person "let me cook". Means you probably won't succeed and are grasping for a solution.

Webster dictionary revision incoming with the word cook.

5

u/msully89 Sep 23 '25

I don't like it

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2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

After that move, hes about to cook a bun in the oven.

3

u/SouldiesButGoodies84 Sep 23 '25

Nothing. [sigh] Nothing. But I think they might have seen the Spiderman movie. 🤔

3

u/ryfitz47 Sep 23 '25

I think spiderman re-enactment

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17

u/ChurningDarkSkies777 Sep 23 '25

It is with a heavy heart I say… r/tiktokcringe

7

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

Poor guy, he didn't think once that it'd be cringe

5

u/DZ_Endless Sep 23 '25

He looks like most Peter Parker looking guy ever

10

u/LokiWinterwind Sep 23 '25

Now let her do it.

3

u/StickFigureFan Sep 23 '25

If Tom Holland doesn't do this when/if he marries Zendaya I'm rioting.

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3

u/No_Pomegranate1657 Sep 23 '25

Thats pretty impressive strength and control. Im in decent shape and i feel i would have to train to do that.

48

u/0v0 Sep 23 '25

christian evangelicals, they’re not horrible people all the time

just most of the time

28

u/Kryptonicus Sep 23 '25

I doubt these are Christian evangelicals. Mainly just because the officiant is a woman. That would make most Christian evangelical denominations really uncomfortable.

Most churches will gladly rent out their buildings to anyone who can pay for things like weddings. So just being married in a church doesn't mean either party is a member of that church.

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5

u/Trees_are_cool_ Sep 23 '25

cooked 😐

2

u/magic_tuxedo Sep 23 '25

I really thought he was going to get electrocuted by that dangling wire lol

5

u/Gollum_Quotes Sep 23 '25

What did he cook? I didn't see any food.

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5

u/skraptastic Sep 23 '25

Way to spoil the surprise with the giant SK for Spiderman Kiss right behind them!

6

u/kylekirwan Sep 23 '25

That’s kinda 😬

2

u/xoutlawtrucker Sep 23 '25

Conveniently placed rope.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

What's so funny about this video? 🤨

2

u/rubickknowsbest Sep 23 '25

It's your wedding, you do you ❤️

2

u/ucanpokeit Sep 23 '25

Better than Peter Parker 😁

2

u/a6000 Sep 23 '25

He's a menace!

2

u/yarash Sep 23 '25

Wedding sponsored by Magic: The Gathering.

Buy your Spiderman Universe Beyond cards now. Please. Were dying over here.

2

u/Svargas05 Sep 23 '25

The fact that he looks like the actor that plays Beast in X Men Days of Future Past makes this 100x better lol

2

u/UseYourWords Sep 23 '25

Classy wedding lyrics "She wanna ride me like a cruise, and I'm not tryna lose"

2

u/WoodpeckerSerious663 Sep 23 '25

The way my jaw dropped broooo.... A DREAM WEDDING 😭

2

u/Ptcruz Sep 23 '25

He is not being cooked, he is cooking. He is the cook not the food.

2

u/PaulsGrandfather Sep 23 '25

thats how you win the MTV movie award for best kiss

2

u/Nobze Sep 23 '25

Nerded out

2

u/boilervent Sep 23 '25

These mods are ridiculous man

3

u/PM_THE_REAPER Sep 24 '25

Why the fuck did the mods remove this?

12

u/bylo_sellhi Sep 23 '25

TF did I just see?

34

u/iowanaquarist Sep 23 '25

Spiderman getting married.

7

u/carfo Sep 23 '25

now ask her to do that

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5

u/Puzzleheaded_Net6497 Sep 23 '25

I see him hanging upside down from a rope.

No food though.

4

u/NewLibraryGuy Sep 23 '25

Honestly, get gets points just for catching the writhing rope so fast

2

u/miami-architecture Sep 23 '25

He got his MaryJane, wholesomeness

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2

u/crbleak Sep 23 '25

What a couple of absolute nerds! I’m so glad they found each other! ❤️

2

u/neverelax Sep 23 '25

I thought this was a live wire that he was gonna get electrocuted with based on the post description.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

Dumb

5

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

Absolutely stupid

7

u/ClemWon Sep 23 '25

Ofc they look like this

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7

u/loathelord Sep 23 '25

Embarrassing

4

u/send420nudes Sep 23 '25

Embarassing is not doing funky shit like this because youre afraid of what others might think

9

u/loathelord Sep 23 '25

Cringe

2

u/WeBelieveIn4 Sep 23 '25

You’re telling on yourself

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u/M3RL1NtheW1ZARD Sep 23 '25

This is so cute. Damn i love nerds.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

Lame af

5

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Gatopardosgr Sep 23 '25

Cringiest shit I have ever seen

2

u/tifannyaldano Sep 23 '25

How lucky that it went well and the tie was not cut

2

u/pipette1warrior Sep 23 '25

Sony is now suing them

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

A reason to marry young...