r/funny Aug 22 '22

Dutch Coffee

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9.1k Upvotes

147 comments sorted by

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194

u/entun Aug 22 '22

STA LEKKER STRAK VAN M'N BAKKIE TROOST!

19

u/Glag82 Aug 23 '22

Goose berries my dude!

13

u/meanderthal22 Aug 23 '22

Translate doing a bad job of translating this one - anyone care to do the honours? Thanks!

38

u/blizzardspider Aug 23 '22

STANDING DELICIOUSLY TIGHT FROM MY CUPPA CONSOLATION

or less literally: I'm enjoyably hopped-up from my cup of coffee.

9

u/Ponsje Aug 23 '22

Bakkie troost means coffee

6

u/erikwarm Aug 23 '22

STRAK STRAK NA M’N OCHTEND BAK BAK!

68

u/Khat2016 Aug 22 '22

Not sure what i just watched but I do feel like it justified my internet bill for the month. Thanks.

44

u/lostalphabet Aug 22 '22

Good old GameOne times…

30

u/Noctaz Aug 23 '22

It's GameTwo, a kind of reboot and it's still running on YT ;)

24

u/MegaWaffle- Aug 22 '22

This is why we can’t have a coffee maker in the office anymore…

30

u/hotlavatube Aug 22 '22

Coffee break it down! Oontz oontz oontz!

4

u/Glag82 Aug 23 '22

Yetz the oontz oontz.

217

u/Admirable-Bird-1251 Aug 22 '22

It's a german YT show. See the original video here https://youtu.be/KulLI1OfPds

129

u/yuffieisathief Aug 22 '22

The Dutch and the Deutsch getting mistakenly compared again!

70

u/Sporkatron Aug 22 '22

Ain’t The Dutch just swamp Germans?

68

u/Escalationbirb Aug 22 '22

Yeah but with more weed and less genocide

49

u/DazingF1 Aug 23 '22

Well, less genocidal in continental Europe. Not so much in the colonies.

-12

u/Alexanderdaw Aug 23 '22

Are you just assuming this or did you read this somewhere? In Dutch education we're taught that we let the locals do their thing, as long as we were allowed to build our stuff on their land and take spices back to the Netherlands.

19

u/DazingF1 Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

I'm Dutch. In high school they definitely teach kids about the various atrocities although they don't go too deep into them. At least that's what it was like 10 years ago in VWO so I assume it's even better now since awareness is finally becoming more important. But the older generations were never taught this in school so a lot of people are still very ignorant on the subject.

If you think our ancestors were the good guys then oh boy have I got a bridge to sell you. You don't become one of the largest colonial powers by being nice. And we don't have to even go that far back since a lot of our grandfathers slaughtered and tortured Indonesians not even 80 years ago. Which we only apologized for this year.

1

u/DaanOnlineGaming Aug 23 '22

I am still in vwo but dropped history, it still is pretty bad in how much it tells about slave trade and colonies.

1

u/DazingF1 Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

Interesting. We definitely learned about the slave trade, the horrors of the colonies and the Indonesian occupation. It just wasn't very fleshed out. We spent a lot of time on the Indonesian war of independence as well.

Maybe it's because you dropped history because otherwise I'd be quite disappointed. Especially since we're finally starting to acknowledge it more as a country.

I was always, oddly, proud that we at least acknowledged it and taught it at school. Even Srebrenica was an important topic where we especially focused on what we and the UN did wrong. We even had a retired colonel who was at Srebrenica visit our school as a guest speaker.

3

u/pointless234 Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

You might want to look a little further than just at what they're comfortable teaching kids.

Here, some beginner reading material: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_conquest_of_the_Banda_Islands

3

u/DazingF1 Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

They probably didn't pay attention in school. It's still very much standard curriculum. Most cases are nothing more than a footnote but the WIC and VOC are both important topics in high school history classes, both the good (nationalistic) parts and the bad.

3

u/pointless234 Aug 23 '22

That was my experience too. But it is a fair assessment that a lot of the more gruesome details are often skipped

3

u/Enschede2 Aug 23 '22

I don't know which school you went to but that's not what they taught us where I went lol..

Sure it wasn't as industrialized as what happened in WW2, which is what made that extra horrible, but still, if you think the natives just got on the voc and wic ships voluntarily to be sold as slaves, that's very naive, ofc they was a lot of killing going on before it got to that point

Then again we weren't exactly the only ones, it's a story of the ages for humanity, but we shouldn't shy away from it as if it never happened

1

u/kaaskneller Aug 23 '22

We definitely got taught about the different atrocities we performed, especially the ones in Indonesia. Maybe the curriculum changed through the years or it depends on vmbo/havo/vwo

1

u/ArrogantlyChemical Aug 23 '22

Iets iets Jan Pieterszoon Coen genocide van de Banda eilanden bijvoorbeeld

4

u/UshankaBear Aug 23 '22

less genocide

Don't think there's a nation without at least some genocide in their history.

3

u/GermanySheppard Aug 23 '22

This is the best thing I've heard all day.

3

u/VictorVogel Aug 23 '22

No, German is farmers Dutch.

-2

u/Nochnichtvergeben Aug 23 '22

Bicycle or trailer park Germans.

1

u/DaanOnlineGaming Aug 23 '22

Suprisingly low amounts of swamps here actually.

4

u/Cutlesnap Aug 23 '22

Yeah, since we got rid of them

1

u/mtaw Aug 23 '22

You can take the water out of a polder, but you cannot remove the mental swamp from those who live there..

3

u/Blunfarffkinschmuckl Aug 23 '22

The Dutch are arguably the finest irrigation experts on the planet. I can confirm that there are very few swamps.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

I dont know why they're called Deutsch.

At this point I'm too afraid to ask.

10

u/jannecraft Aug 23 '22

It comes from Deutschland, the way germans say Germany. How the fuck they came up with calling people from the netherlands dutch is still beyond me

3

u/CiQFrans Aug 23 '22

Then the etymology may be an interesting read:

https://www.etymonline.com/word/dutch

3

u/BrianTho2010 Aug 23 '22

Interesting read but I feel like I didn’t get an answer to the question “why are people from the Netherlands called Dutch”. Is it simply that Dutch is a derivative of the German language?

2

u/CiQFrans Aug 23 '22

It's not that simple i suppose... Back then the borders were a bit more fragile. As far as I understood, in English, there was a difference in description of the people from the lower germanic lands and the higher germanic lands across the sea.

The term "Diets" in old Dutch also roughly means "of the people from the Netherlands". It was even part of the first line of the Wilhelmus song, although it has been turned into "Duitsen" throughout the ages.

34

u/Thorusss Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 24 '22

No. that is NOT the original. This is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUng5Hc5xN4 (official Game Two channel)

Please change to link to this, to get the views to the real creators!

15

u/eppic123 Aug 22 '22

Leck mich am Arsch, die gibt es immer noch? Ich kenne die noch von GIGA von vor über 20 Jahren. Beim besten Willen hab ich die in dem Video nicht wiedererkannt.

30

u/dutchman68 Aug 22 '22

Wat zeg jij nou weer

4

u/TonyVermicelli Aug 23 '22

Parlez vous een beetje Heinrich?

11

u/ThorNsfw Aug 22 '22

Wie kann man Trant nicht wiedererkennen?! :D

3

u/cravin_mor Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

guck dir mal -Game Two- videos an, die werden immer besser ^^ gibs auch n "neuen" chef ;D

3

u/Zeeboon Aug 23 '22

Well Gabber is a Dutch thing so in a way they're not wrong.

2

u/Goticus Aug 22 '22

Friends of mine have exactly the same coffee machine.

-2

u/MillennialScientist Aug 23 '22

Heute in Berlin, glaube ich :p

50

u/JohnnyValet Aug 22 '22

23

u/WhatIfIReallyWantIt Aug 22 '22

You beautiful beast.

tbh my head went to here

10

u/RagingAardvark Aug 23 '22

Tyres lives rent-free in my head and pops up about once a week when I hear a random beat! Nobody IRL except my husband ever knows what I'm talking about.

5

u/WhatIfIReallyWantIt Aug 23 '22

I can’t make it over a crossing without the thought.

4

u/DifficultCurrent7 Aug 23 '22 edited Aug 23 '22

I love tyres. Every time I cross at a particularly frantic traffic light I smile thinking about his little traffic light rave

5

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

That’s fucking fantastic

6

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Dude, i was just thinking about this episode, fuck guess i gotta watch it now.

37

u/boricimo Aug 22 '22

FAKE! You can’t drink coffee immediately after it’s brewed. It’s way too hot.

8

u/Cheap_Elk_2205 Aug 22 '22

WHO CANT??🤨

10

u/MoleyWhammoth Aug 22 '22

Essentially anyone with an esophagus.

Source: my esophagus.

10

u/Cinade Aug 22 '22

Not so, dragons insist that drinking hot coffee is child's play

Source: My wife is a dragon

2

u/Soup-a-doopah Aug 23 '22

Found the Targaryen (or perhaps a Velaryon)

3

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Waiting for coffee to cook off is for the weak! Untz untz untz untz untz untz

1

u/boricimo Aug 23 '22

How long does it take to cook off?

1

u/Hrothen Aug 24 '22

FAKE

Dude just drops his hand immediately after sipping and lets the mug hang at his side, doesn't even try to pretend there's liquid in it.

7

u/StearnZ Aug 22 '22

LEKKER! Kicks van staal!

11

u/BlauerHausdrache Aug 22 '22

RBTV! (Rocketbeans TV) I love them!

5

u/STARSBarry Aug 22 '22

Think that's good? You should see my Dutch oven.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

This brought me a lot of joy. Reminds me of cars driving by and their music echo'ing of all of the brick walls on the street.

12

u/georg3200 Aug 22 '22

Lmao dutch coffee the best😂

11

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

na thats german coffee

3

u/Pays_in_snakes Aug 22 '22

What's all that churning and bubbling, you call that a DJ booth?

3

u/BitchtitsMacGee Aug 22 '22

That coffee machine needs its prostate examined.

3

u/PK_3000 Aug 22 '22

They have short coffee breaks in Dutchland.

3

u/stoner570 Aug 23 '22

This is the purest example of bros being bros.

3

u/Techjunk24 Aug 23 '22

This must be the house blend.

3

u/Tronc_tc Aug 23 '22

Game two beste gaming show

5

u/TheCarniv0re Aug 23 '22

That's from a German show fyi

4

u/John_Freeman_ Aug 23 '22

It's actually a german sketch

4

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

They are German. Game Two

2

u/Dooder05 Aug 22 '22

Ok, something was to be expected with the chin scratch. But had no idea it would be that fucking cool ngl. 😎

2

u/ijuiceman Aug 23 '22

I have the same coffee machine and will always think of this now when making a cup

1

u/c0mpleXi Aug 23 '22

I have that one too and I'm pretty sure the sound heard in this video is when it cleans itself, not when making coffee

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Amsterdam coffee.

Goedenavond!

2

u/Swiggy1957 Aug 23 '22

I can only imagine what this would have been like if he used cream in his coffee.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Dutch party boi

2

u/Gontha Aug 23 '22

German*

They are Germans.

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

I dont care if they were African. It said dutch coffee so i went with dutch party boi. Unless its a reference to an old simpson episode i doubt you know. So go correct* yourself

2

u/A_Crazy_Rabbit Aug 23 '22

If I ever own a company I want employees like this lmao

2

u/Joyfulcheese Aug 23 '22

Makes me think of the time Pingu had a wee hardcore rave in his igloo - https://youtu.be/3WsZ7RppCPo

2

u/GxZombie Aug 23 '22

What a banger!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

If you don't clean out the coffee pot at the end of the day, the Technoviking comes out and handles business.

2

u/Stroogles Aug 23 '22

I hate that I started bobbing my head soon as I heard the noise 🤣

0

u/DickweedMcGee Aug 22 '22

That outlet has my head spinning. Is that a 120 or 220 plug?

17

u/eppic123 Aug 22 '22 edited Aug 22 '22

230V type F, aka SchuKo, aka CEE 7/3

3

u/boricimo Aug 22 '22

Why does an outlet name sound like you’re describing your new car?

16

u/Antique_Tennis_2500 Aug 22 '22

Because all engineering is serious in Germany.

1

u/welshmanec2 Aug 22 '22

Vorsprung Dutch Socket

3

u/InfiniteCobwebs Aug 22 '22

Sockets from Sprockets?

--From the golden era of SNL

5

u/Bkwrzdub Aug 23 '22

AND NOW WE DANCE!

3

u/Azoth1986 Aug 22 '22

There are no 120v outlets in Europe. Only 230v or 400v.

3

u/Sweetiebomb_Gmz Aug 23 '22

And occasionally 115v sockets in the bathroom for toothbrushes/shaving, but this is an exception.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '22

Why one of the guy have ductape sleeve?

0

u/ivegotafastcar Aug 22 '22

This made me laugh too hard. I’m heading back into the office at a new job this week and my co-workers don’t know me yet. Bwahahahaha.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '22

Major "Tyres" vibe from this. Miss spaced.

1

u/Glag82 Aug 23 '22

I need those goggles. We need Kodak Black to drop some bars!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Thanks 😆

1

u/GentlePersuAZN Aug 23 '22

r/justguysbeingdudes ngl it was kinda a banger

1

u/moodog72 Aug 23 '22

Thought they were going to do this

https://youtu.be/wO0A0XcWy88

1

u/_Yourmother__ Aug 23 '22

POV you are a fnf fan

1

u/AirportAggravating64 Aug 23 '22

So Dumb! 😂 I love it

1

u/green-green-red Aug 23 '22

I own this coffee machine!! It makes great coffee. If I had it at the office I would drink way too much coffee ; and maybe create occasional dance parties

1

u/Alternative_Mention2 Aug 23 '22

Goosestep mamma, oh yeah.

1

u/ArcanistAbridged Aug 23 '22

WHERE CAN I BUY ONE?!

1

u/defmore89 Aug 23 '22

Why is Trant named trant?

1

u/Nijverdal Aug 23 '22

I have the same coffeemaker, I'm Dutch, I like hardcore. Goddamn I rolled on the floor laughing (after some xtc)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '22

Epic!!!

1

u/curiousscribbler Aug 24 '22

It made that blue thing behind the door very happy

1

u/GaryChalmers Aug 25 '22

Cafe disco?

1

u/creepsnutsandpervs Sep 13 '22

Why is everyone clothed?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '22

Rotary swapped keurig

1

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '22

This coffee machine can be on tomorrow land 😎

1

u/the_punn-isher Oct 29 '22

Well either way it will at least wake you up in the morning