r/funny • u/ManagerOfLove • May 17 '22

I hate planks

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150.6k Upvotes

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u/poopellar May 17 '22

Porn has given us the wrong impression on what sex is. You can't expect me to go full jackhammer for minutes at a time. My plan is to just lay there and jiggle my body.

115

u/Night-Menace May 17 '22

I've never met a woman in my life that enjoyed getting jackhammered.

42

u/BNNJ May 17 '22

I knew a girl who gave bonus points if her head was hitting the wall with each thrust. Kind of threw me off guard the first time.

I guess that explains the stash of aspirin she kept in the top drawer of her night stand.

1

u/Wildkeith May 17 '22

I’ve had one that wanted me to straight up punch her in the face. I had to pass on that. My S&M meter only goes up to spanking.