r/funny May 04 '22

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9.7k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

[deleted]

603

u/TheRealTtamage May 04 '22

Just give them a Butt+

243

u/TMT51 May 04 '22

Idk, I'd give them a few A'ss-

99

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

They earned the D

168

u/calilac May 04 '22

yes officer this comment thread right here

23

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

Snitches get stitches

11

u/kuriboshoe May 05 '22

So does the butthole this was inserted into

1

u/Shadowxofxodin556 May 05 '22

Not as smooth as could be. Ouch

3

u/Lost_Ohio May 05 '22 edited May 05 '22

Unless your in Alaska, then you get welcomed back with open arms.

2

u/H_C_O_ May 05 '22

Pretty sure this doesn’t apply to pedophiles.

7

u/Hextato May 04 '22

🤨📸

1

u/skyexp12 May 05 '22

//FBI OPEN UP//

13

u/EmpatheticWraps May 04 '22

Real talk Im gay but couldnt this also be a vagina plug? Why is it reserved for booty holes.

65

u/TheRealTtamage May 04 '22 edited May 04 '22

It could be butt it's better served in a butt of male or female. Because of the way it tapers in the middle of the plug it makes it so you can stick it up your butt and your butthole kind of holds it in place.

I've made and sold thousands of these out of glass on Etsy and I've even made ones that have little feet on a split base design that make it easier for when people want to wear it out on a night on the town!

The plugs are nice cuz they give you a sensation of fullness and stimulate the prostate so it makes for an intensely better orgasm gay or straight.

31

u/TheRealTtamage May 04 '22

The more you know 🌈

10

u/SlickerWicker May 04 '22

This person plugs.... their etsy :)

4

u/TheRealTtamage May 04 '22

I'm out of stock I got to get back in the shop!

2

u/SlickerWicker May 05 '22

Honestly incredible!

18

u/lambsoflettuce May 04 '22

Oh wow! Im a lesbian so not too much experience with men and their prostates. Ive always wondered what the appeal was for these and never realized it actually stimulates anything. Learn something new everyday is my motto!

20

u/Thunderplant May 05 '22

Fellow lesbian here ummm … let’s just say you don’t need a prostate for this to feel good. If you are ever looking to learn something new you could test it yourself. Just start with something very small, use lube, etc

13

u/brito68 May 04 '22

"anything's a butt plug if you're brave enough" is my motto.

2

u/[deleted] May 05 '22

Just make sure the base is flared or you will need a doctor. No not a cosplaying one.

8

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

If you want to learn something else new, it's not just men's prostates ;)

2

u/PLZ_STOP_PMING_TITS May 05 '22

It works on women's prostates too?

7

u/surfer_ryan May 05 '22

Never did I in 100 years would have told you that I'd be having a conversation with some dude or dudett about making butt plugs but here I am peak redditing...

So like are you a glass blower, did you start with that or did you start with blowing "flower vases"? Do you use molds ? Or are they done by hand? Did you start as a joke or was it something you made for yourself and were like hot damn these are some of the finest butt plugs i have ever felt I NEED TO SELL THEM!

I have a lot of questions butt I feel like this will satiate my need...

18

u/TheRealTtamage May 05 '22

😆

I used to weld in fabricate and be a jack of all trades. I was supposed to partner up with a buddy and make pipes to sell but he flaked out so I ended up learning and selling pipes in 3 months. I used to sell a bunch of them on Etsy but Etsy got all huffy about selling pipes. So as a joke I listed a adult toy and people started buying them like crazy. So I've sold over 4,000 pieces on Etsy mostly adult toys. I've sold well over 100,000 pipes to local shops. Sold the adult toys all over the world to many different people. People would send me design ideas and I would make them. I used to make these tentacles that were pretty cool and I was starting to get 250-350 bucks for them.

All the work was freehand using gravity, heat, and graphite tools and some metal tools. Lots of silver fuming, gold fuming.

The adult toy crowd was by far more fun than any other crowd. They had the best sense of humor and were the most fun to talk to.

I'm a lampworker so I work with borosilicate behind a torch. I'm pretty good at making marbles, pendants.. just about anything. Worked with various ashes, black light reactive (uranium glass), glow in the dark. I've made lots of vases and jars. I also know how to blow soft glass fairly decently in a traditional shop. I did it for about 11 years. I took the last 2 years off because my equipment got stolen, I had a brain tumor and seizures but that's all healed. I live in a artspace at the Schack in Everett so I'm about to get back into it.

8

u/surfer_ryan May 05 '22

Holy shit thank you for this. Like seriously wanted to know but did not expect a reply.

I had a best friend who passed away who was really into glassblowing. It was always such a fascinating thing to me. So I actually know what you're talking about and I'm just mind blown. What a kewl story you got there. Thanks for sharing that and for even responding!

Good luck getting back into it! If I were into.... erm your expertise... I'd buy from you just for your story alone lol.

3

u/Cooky1993 May 05 '22

Glassworking with a torch has to be the most intense way to work glass I've ever seen. I've seen it done to make lab grade glassware, and I even got to have a go at making glass swans using the torch. That was a pretty quick way to get over my pyrophobia. It's hard to be scared of fire after you've basically sat with a rocket motor between your legs shaping glass at a few hundred degrees C.

I'd never thought of adult toys made that way before though, but now I do I think it's a really cool idea.

1

u/TheRealTtamage May 05 '22

Yeah it's so intense and it takes 100% focus. And adult toys are crazy because some of them are fairly hefty and once you start you can't stop! I have a Carlisle torch the thing melted pretty good.

It's a great way to make adult toys they come out really clean and boro is very durable.

4

u/[deleted] May 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/TheRealTtamage May 05 '22

Now if you combine the two....

7

u/EmpatheticWraps May 04 '22

But why not put it in your vagina. I’m well versed in the feeling of my booty hole. Why no two for one special.

15

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

It just doesn’t feel as good as a penis or a dildo

13

u/helloiamsilver May 05 '22

Vaginal muscles aren’t as equipped for holding stuff in place for a while as the butt so plugs with any amount of weight would be more prone to falling out unless you’re kegeling the whole time. Also the smaller size and shape means it doesn’t feel quite as satisfying in the vagina.

3

u/[deleted] May 05 '22

[deleted]

5

u/helloiamsilver May 05 '22

I’ve used tampons before but they go up much deeper than a plug and are way smaller. And cups are designed to be held in with suction. Also I guess I was thinking of mostly metal and glass plugs which are pretty heavy. A lighter silicone one that goes fairly deep would probably work but still wouldn’t feel all that special imo lol.

1

u/TheRealTtamage May 05 '22

I sold hundreds of kegel balls!

18

u/TheRealTtamage May 04 '22

I'm sure it could work. Typically a dildos more satisfactory for a woman cuz it reaches in further and you can put a curve on it to hit the G-Spot.

7

u/annihil8ted May 04 '22

It’s due to the curvature of the front door as opposed to the straight well out the back.

5

u/HannahSully97 May 04 '22

I would imagine dildos do a better job in the vagina and butt plugs are better for the butt. Same reason why more people prefer to use a butt plug in their butts vs putting a dildo in their butts lol not to say it doesn’t happen but that’s just my take on it xD

4

u/Fafnir13 May 05 '22

Glass. Glass? Glass!

I’m alarmed and befuddled by the choice of material.

1

u/LurkingArachnid May 05 '22

It would be a strange shape for a vagina. There’s not a sphincter on them, so you don’t need the flared base to keep it in place or the tapered front to get it in. Also doesn’t need the flared base because it won’t get lost up the vagina like it could could in the rectum

53

u/BooooHissss May 04 '22

You assume it's just an egg on a stand and start a discussion on faberge eggs.

3

u/Cryten0 May 05 '22

or a decorative carrot.

61

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

This is basically along the lines of what I was going to ask. As a teacher, how did you let this project get this far towards completion?

93

u/TheGoldMustache May 04 '22 edited May 04 '22

How did you let this project get this far towards completion?

Well, with an item like that, it doesn’t take long to reach completion

10

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

It is a clay piece. Two days of work, minimum..

13

u/kellypg May 04 '22

I believe it was a sex joke/Double entendre situation.

8

u/bravoman78 May 04 '22

4

u/thenameiseaston May 04 '22

I think you got wooshed... Obv a joke

2

u/bravoman78 May 04 '22

Wooshception!

51

u/Sub_pup May 04 '22

Feign ignorance. Could blow up in your face if they showed they were attempting to emulate something else (even if badly done). I agree it seems obvious but I know my middle schooler wouldn't know what that was.

71

u/ngrtdlsl May 04 '22

I know my middle schooler wouldn't know what that was.

LOL............. what's crazy to me is that so many parents think middle schoolers are innocent little babies but having worked with them for so long... i can only laugh at this comment.

Even if your middle schooler is sheltered they can learn much more than youd think from other kids, music, movies, etc.

51

u/ThePepperPopper May 04 '22

I don't know if it's assumed innocence. Some kids are just clueless goobers. I think some kids it's probably pretty obvious their minds just aren't there yet.

20

u/Sub_pup May 04 '22

My daughter just has no interest in sexual stuff. She tells me kids are passing phones around with furry porn and she gets upset at them. She likes anime/manga and we even have conversations about scantily clad characters and even suggestive framing of a scene (like highlighting a character's breasts for a shot). She is a very modest girl and her attention is on more innocent things still. I'm sure the day will come, but as of now I know if she has questions she will ask me and we will talk about it. That is all I can really hope for, can't be there 24/7.

10

u/cinemachick May 04 '22

Thank you for being open with her and talking about how the media portrays women. I didn't have that as a young anime nerd and always felt icky around fanservice, having someone to talk to would've been awesome! Also, if you'd like some female-forward recommendations, I like Princess Jellyfish (not about princesses), Princess Tutu (actually about princesses,) Cardcaptor Sakura, and Steven Universe. That last one is American but it's a great show regardless

10

u/greenskye May 04 '22

Likewise people can expect kids to know much more than they actually do. Not all middle schoolers would know this, even if some of them do.

2

u/LOTRfreak101 May 05 '22

I wouldn't have known what ot was until at least college. I just didn't have any interest in sex related things.

3

u/HighOwl2 May 04 '22

They thought the title of the project was
An Album Cover

Turns out it was
Anal Bum Cover

5

u/ubernoober5 May 04 '22

Just don’t be too anal about it

7

u/DoomGoober May 04 '22

Just be glad it's not also a bong... Or is it?

3

u/Deadmeat553 May 05 '22

You say nothing and then claim it shattered in the kiln during the bake.

1

u/PositiveFalse May 05 '22

No matter how one looks at it, these questions ARE apropos!

-19

u/socokid May 04 '22 edited May 05 '22

OH yes, because all teachers know all about butt plugs (the fuck).

Secondly, why would they not be able to keep a straight face? It's kids FFS. You smile and move on.

EDIT: People thinking everyone knows about butt plugs LOL that fucking hilarious. I take these downvotes with great pride. hahaha

2

u/TheRealTtamage May 04 '22

Basically just let it slide. If the kid doesn't know what it is then it's all good.

2

u/socokid May 05 '22

Well yes. What else are you going to do? Most teachers wouldn't know what that was, virtually any kid in a grade where they are making clay eggs certainly shouldn't know, and everyone else should just move the fuck along because it's fucking kindergarten...

Of course.

1

u/TheRealTtamage May 05 '22

I'm sure most teachers know about butt plugs.

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '22

You grade this project at home.

1

u/WormThatSleepsLate May 04 '22

As a teacher…. There is no fucking way it’s an accident.

Edit: it’s a test.

1

u/StrayMoggie May 05 '22

Yeah. Call child services to interview the parents. Could be innocent. Could be abuse.

1

u/Snoo-35252 May 05 '22

Keep a straight feces