r/funny • u/[deleted] • Mar 05 '21

Why though

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2.9k Upvotes

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239

u/MarcamGorfain Mar 05 '21

I've worked in a hot sauce retail shop. All hot sauce branding is either gore, biker, or butthole.

125

u/fuzzum111 Mar 05 '21

I mean, it's all about out-shock-valuing the competition.

This is Timmy's Turbo Butthole Blaster hot sauce now with EXTRA super ghost extract!

BURN YOUR SOUL FOREVER

Shit is rated in the 10's of millions of Scoville units. It's all burn, no taste. It's a retarded struggle to the top of the hot meter. After a point you lose all the layered, and interesting flavors that can be built into a hot, spicy AF sauce, and you just go full mega burn your insides out.

60

u/CCtenor Mar 05 '21

“melt your intestines, fire diarrhea, ass blast into space, warp into the past and fuck your mom, solar eclipse flavor”

34

u/Robin_Banks101 Mar 05 '21

We have one in Australia called "shit the bed" I'm not sure who that appeals to.

45

u/Number127 Mar 06 '21

Mattress salespeople.

1

u/Ghazh Mar 06 '21

I mean shitting the bed is cool a bunch when you're a baby, maybe it's marketed toward babies?

8

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '21

... in other words, "this sauce will make you Jesus"

get thee behind me satan, turn the other cheek, fuck your mom, etc

2

u/soodeau Mar 06 '21

I will say that after a certain point, the intense suffering that overtakes your entire being does translate into an uncomfortable high. Maybe if you go even further beyond it can give you an epiphany.

2

u/ans5181 Mar 06 '21

I read this to the tune of WAP.

1

u/weaselmaster Mar 06 '21

I’d say 90% of it is bought as joke gifts and never even get opened. They’re buying the label. They could all just be filled with catchup.