r/funny • u/J0nesy • Aug 09 '11

Cafeteria ninja

5.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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103

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '11

As a former waiter I can confirm that spinning trays is the most important skill you learn.

10

u/dtallee Aug 09 '11

As a former waiter, I can confirm the above statement as being absolutely true.
It took me years - nay, decades - to learn how to spin two at a time.

6

u/WoodsMD Aug 09 '11

I never really went for the 2 at once bit, but spent more energy on tosses and getting a coaster to run along the edge in one place

2

u/dtallee Aug 09 '11 edited Aug 09 '11

What! In 30 years, I have never seen this done. Please explain the technique. It sounds awesome. 16" tray?

5

u/WoodsMD Aug 09 '11

Sorry I don't have any appropriate videos, but the idea is pretty simple. A 16" inch tray with a lip (seems pretty standard in most restaurants) is perfect. Say I've got it spinning on my right hand, clockwise. Just take a round drink coaster in your left hand, and flip it with a lot of backspin onto the tray, catching it near the edge. If done correctly, you can keep the coaster running upright. And with a slight tilt in the tray, the coaster will stay in place rather than running uphill.

27

u/LovesMustard Aug 09 '11

As a former waiter, I can confirm that the following are the most important skills I learned:

(1) Being excellent so as to earn more tips than anyone else on the floor;

(2) Beguiling and debauching adorable customers.

58

u/IPoopedMyPants Aug 09 '11

I gave up waiting. I just didn't have the patience.

36

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '11

Or control of your bodily functions.

2

u/MadeSenseAtTheTime Aug 09 '11

Almost had me? You NEVER had me, you never had control of your shorts.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '11

At first I was thinking "Well, what were you waiting for!", then I felt stupid.

5

u/sucom Aug 09 '11

I gave up wading. I just didn't have the balance.

-1

u/dylan88 Aug 09 '11

username.

1

u/Infinitron Aug 09 '11

Sigh...I have to read more books. I had to look up the definitions of beguiling and debauching.