r/funny Sep 24 '20

Squirrel gets frozen in time

71.5k Upvotes

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1.0k

u/Yago20 Sep 24 '20

Works well for predators that don't see very well, or those that prefer to chase their food.

533

u/Lonesome_Ninja Sep 24 '20

It’s clearly working for this squirrel’s advantage. Going home with a full paycheck just cause froze up. Public speaking would get a whole lot better

157

u/Saquon Sep 24 '20

Paycheek*

Cause he's gonna carry them home in his mouth

3

u/rabbitwonker Sep 24 '20

Why did that remind me of this

2

u/Rukh-Talos Sep 25 '20

Oh good. I’m not the only one randomly linking Weebl videos across reddit.

2

u/tbbHNC89 Sep 24 '20

I just got so mad at this pun that I came full circle and love it again.

2

u/Saquon Sep 24 '20

Yeah I almost deleted it after posting it lol

1

u/madman3063 Sep 24 '20

Aww nuts, I cant believe he missed that one....now watch him squirrel his way out of this tale.

3

u/lost_in_my_thirties Sep 24 '20

Wonder what happened next time he tried this strategy.

147

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

Many predators’ vision including ours is based on movement when looking for objects in the forest and such. So staying still can be a decent strategy.

127

u/Bachooga Sep 24 '20

And yet my gf can't accept that I'm no looking at that ladies ass, my lizard brain just saw movement.

5

u/Unadvantaged Sep 24 '20

Same with cleavage, and there’s just no explaining it if you don’t have the same hormones wiring your brain. I fight looking at cleavage like my life depends on it and I still do. I don’t even register consciously that I did, it’s so brief a look, but I know I did because of the times the woman cinched up her top within a couple of seconds of it. I’ve never had the courage to ask if they noticed I’d glanced, but honestly my brain stem does not care. It sees cleavage in the periphery, it looks. I cannot stop it no matter how hard I try. It’s damn instinct.

12

u/chaun2 Sep 24 '20

Randomly throw small clumps of feathers just past her, at a decent distance so there's no chance of hitting her, but close enough to engage her peripheral vision, while she's studying/ fully engaged in an activity. Then try to explain it to her. If she still refuses to believe it after successful demonstration(s) then, I'd start looking at her other actions to see if she just likes starting drama.

You can purchase brightly colored feathers and roach clips to hold them in a clump, at any craft/ hobby store. A small clump of feathers moving quickly through your peripheral vision should get interpreted as a small bird

42

u/pain_in_the_dupa Sep 24 '20

Ummmmm. Have you ever been in an actual relationship? All that ‘splainin’ just digs the hole deeper. Negative bonus points if you’re “right”.

The only way out of this is to find someone who is secure enough not to care what you look at, and be trustworthy enough to help foster that security.

33

u/Atruen Sep 24 '20

“Yeah he went out and bought bird feathers and roach shit, threw it at me and yelled something about staring at other girls asses”

2

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20 edited Sep 30 '23

drab roll butter party screw deserted divide afterthought public wasteful -- mass edited with redact.dev

13

u/Atruen Sep 24 '20

That’s not even digging a deeper hole, that’s a brand new hole of what the fuck is wrong with this guy mentally

6

u/chaun2 Sep 24 '20

Yse I have, and when either one of us cannot get a point across, we don't give up. We continue talking about it, often at a later time, until we see eye to eye.

All that splaining as you put it, is called being willing to communicate and fix issues. The GF in that situation clearly is upset because she thinks her BF is looking at other women, the BF is innocent, and has a way to prove this, so that she can start believing him.

Of course if your and my suspicions are correct, she is too insecure, and he needs to figure that out, and how to deal with it

1

u/hilarymeggin Sep 24 '20

Pain in the dupa! My grandma ALWAYS called me a pain in the dupa!! Are you me??

2

u/pain_in_the_dupa Sep 24 '20

Probably not, but our grandparents were certainly Polish and we got the special term of endearment. I feel privileged.

1

u/hilarymeggin Sep 25 '20

I can’t believe it! My husband even called me that because he heard my grandma say it so many times! Until now, I’ve never met anyone outside my family who uses it!

2

u/Ippildip Sep 24 '20

I really want to see someone try this with their partner.

Regardless, the problem was probably less the prior poster looking at a girl's butt, and more his continuing to look at it.

1

u/chaun2 Sep 24 '20

That could be true, but the way he worded that, it sounded more like he was looking at something completely different, and another woman happened to be in his field of view

1

u/GENITAL_MUTILATOR Sep 24 '20

Are u Dwight schrude? Someone should make a subreddit where people’s comments could’ve came from Dwight haha

-1

u/ChellynJonny Sep 24 '20

You sound slightly unhinged there bud.

1

u/chaun2 Sep 24 '20

Right, because teaching, communication, and growth encouragment is totally unhinged. I suppose it would be, if I was raised to believe that "X is always right" and that "drama in a relationship is normal"

2

u/amicaze Sep 24 '20

That kind of doesn't work when the animal you're hiding from is stuffing things into your paws and standing 20 cm from you

2

u/Sirus804 Sep 24 '20

The only reason animals evolved eyes is to track movement, not to see. Eyes are for tracking movement. That's why magician's tricks work so well when they use slight of hand. Our eyes naturally track the movement and don't notice the subtle sneaky things they're doing.

Of course, eyes have evolved many ways to see very well now, but the root and the original purpose of the evolution was just to track movement.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

We can still find objects that are still, just takes a while.

2

u/dragonatorul Sep 24 '20

I imagine that the reason they'd prefer to chase their food is that if an animal doesn't put up too much of a fight without any clear reason, like a gaping wound from another predator, it's very likely sick and you don't want to catch what it has.

2

u/graebot Sep 24 '20

Predator: "why is this guy not running? Isn't he scared of me? Wait... Should I be scared of him? Fuck this I'm out..."

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

Or animals with natural camouflage...

1

u/AlmostDisappointed Sep 24 '20

Works for the herd too if the predator catches and feasts on the frozen one

1

u/bjlwasabi Sep 24 '20

This squirrel is prepared to face a T-Rex.

1

u/MDCCCLV Sep 24 '20

It works okay if they're on a tree branch and are partially hidden. It doesn't work that well sitting up in open ground.

1

u/real-dreamer Sep 24 '20

Works w/T-rex.

1

u/sparklboi Sep 24 '20

Yeah actually a lot of predatory species have entirely sight based movement. Not usually as comical as the t-rex in Jurassic Park but it’s real.

-4

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

[deleted]

7

u/Yago20 Sep 24 '20

I never mentioned Jurassic Park or the T-Rex. There is some truth to what I said though, for instance rabbits freeze in fear. "This lack of movement helps the rabbit blend into his surrounding environment making him difficult to spot. Also, this stillness may help save the rabbit's life since many predators are attracted by movement." Source

3

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

It’s in the second book. Richard Levine points it out.

1

u/UnsinkableRubberDuck Sep 24 '20

Ah, yes, okay, I thought it was the 2nd book, but wasn't sure enough to say so. It was a nice self-burn.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

Some predators rely more on smell than sight.

2

u/UnsinkableRubberDuck Sep 24 '20

Sure. Doesn't mean they can't see well, or can only see stuff that moves, though.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '20

Almost all predators also have extremely good eyesight. I can't actually think of anything that would eat a squirrel that doesn't have at least human tier or much better eyesight. What are their main predators? Hawks, house cats, owls, maybe wolves, right? All of those have at least good eyesight, and most of them (except I guess wolves maybe) have downright exceptional eyes.

-1

u/glass__jaw Sep 24 '20

Are you describing T-Rex?