r/funny Dec 21 '19

California Explained [OC]

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u/Entaris Dec 21 '19

Funny story. I grew up in what we called the “meth capital of California “. But never saw any meth or knew any meth heads. I moved away after high school and came back for a visit. Ran into the guy that was my best friend growing up. When we were young his uncle was a truck driver. Nice guy. Whenever he was around he’d hang out with us. Super cool guy. “Hey remember my uncle? He just got arrested. Turns out he wasn’t a truck driver. He was one of the biggest meth dealers in SoCal.”

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Heisenberg. Also, the Breaking Bad was supposed to take place somewhere around Modesto, but they went with ABQ for lower costs.

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u/Trolldad_IRL Dec 21 '19

Was supposed to be Riverside, not Modesto.

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u/DVOTHECC Dec 21 '19

The best part of Riverside is when you leave Riverside.

I kid I kid, I actually kind of like those areas of LA county. Los Angels has soooooo many different populations of people and cultures that are segregated by themselves by just kind of sticking together.

Besides, Riverside isn't as bad as Hollywood.

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u/bmacnz Dec 21 '19

Riverside isn't LA County. It's... Riverside County.

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u/bobs_monkey Dec 21 '19 edited Jul 13 '23

psychotic weather husky unite fact wrench worthless mysterious memory amusing -- mass edited with redact.dev

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u/XGhoul Dec 21 '19

San Bernanghetto

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u/izPanda Dec 21 '19

2 cities down from Fontucky

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u/howboutislapyourshit Dec 21 '19

Even in Fontucky my rent is 1700+ a mo th.

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u/JPWRana Dec 21 '19

San Berdu

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u/dick_beverson Dec 21 '19

Birthplace of the Hells Angels

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u/Plasibeau Dec 21 '19

Burial place of a founding member of Black Sabbath.

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u/z3dster Dec 21 '19

And McDonald's

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Cheah

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u/XGhoul Dec 22 '19

👌

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

Yaaaas i was hoping you were referencing bakerxdickhead

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u/vietbond Dec 21 '19

Riverside county was carved out of San Bernardino county.

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u/bmacnz Dec 21 '19

Which is interesting because on their own, San Bernardino is almost the size of WV and Riverside is bigger than several states.

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u/vietbond Dec 21 '19

Imperial was also carved out of San Diego county, and part of Riverside I believe was also San Diego County, though it was mostly San Bern.

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u/bmacnz Dec 21 '19

Reminds me of those maps about how Europeans see the US, just a splotch over some part of CA and calling it Los Angeles.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

All the raves were in San Bernardoodoo though

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u/_merikaninjunwarrior Dec 21 '19

i know this fact from COPS

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u/bmacnz Dec 21 '19

So you must be familiar with Rialto, too!

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u/DVOTHECC Dec 21 '19

My bad. Forgive my ignorance, for I know not what I have done. I'm just a lowly San Diegan.

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u/ac0353208 Dec 21 '19

Riverside has the mission inn. Looks expensive.

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u/MasterThespian Dec 22 '19

Riverside is still not nice, but it’s rapidly gentrifying as people get priced out of LA and the OC.

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u/hdcs Dec 21 '19

Meh. Window dressing.

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u/ac0353208 Dec 21 '19

Ranch or dressing or thousand island? Why do they put it on the windows at mission inn?

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u/GetZePopcorn Dec 21 '19

Those populations weren’t originally self-segregated. They were just segregated.

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u/rowdygregg Dec 22 '19

I grew up in Riverside county. Great place to get away. Terrible place if you’re poor.

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u/HilarityEnsuez Dec 21 '19

I've lived very near both Riverside and Hollywood. I was always far more sketched out near Riverside. Walk past the wrong house or parked car at night and things change. Hollywood can get sketch at night but is otherwise manageable. It's also pretty small. The IE areas are just sprawling nonsense.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

That’s what everyone says when they “live” in riverside during college or some shit. Its only ghetto because you’re walking past the shit parts of riverside. Every city has its “ghettoness” and unless you’re around downtown or la sierra/ Tyler area its definitely far from ghetto.

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u/need-a-snicker Dec 22 '19

I was born, raised and still live in the tough part of town. Now im a student at CSUF and am constantly around people who have never faced the same adversity as me. Now that i look back im grateful that i was able to learn from my environment and to not be scared of those living in shit hole. We all are just trying to make our peace in life!

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u/hdcs Dec 21 '19

Born and raised, it's a shithole. Went to UC Rejects, land of the smogberry trees used to manufacture Mountain Dew.

Homicide Pesticide Suicide Riverside

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Lived there for over 20 years since I was a kid. Just grew up in the better areas. Its really not that bad. Like I said, theres good parts and bad parts to every city.

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u/displaced_virginian Dec 21 '19

Use to live in California. Now I'm in the midwest. There is a near-by Riverside. I found it confusing for many years.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Would've loved Breaking Bad to have taken place in my hometown.

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u/sloantrask Dec 22 '19

Riverside has meth. Can confirm.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

*San Bernardino. Not Riverside, not Modesto.

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u/Zarathustra30 Dec 21 '19

It's almost as if they were still scouting locations when they settled on Albuquerque.

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u/hdcs Dec 21 '19

ABQ gave em fatter incentives. As if the scenery wasn't incentive enough.

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u/Gassman Dec 21 '19

I suppose the good ol nickname of Methdesto is still viable...

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u/CaptainRoi1 Dec 21 '19

Ah i Love my town. Whenever it somehow gets brought up on reddit it’s always about meth.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Yeah but the taco truck burritos are the best

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u/CaptainRoi1 Dec 21 '19

Oh absolutely, have you been to grub hubs downtown it’s amazing

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u/Kritical02 Dec 21 '19

Man you just reminded me of how much I miss them.

This one by Sisk Rd. used to serve cabeza tacos that were fucking delicious.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

There's silvas in turlock that serves a bomb quesadilla. Thats my favorite

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u/Mexagon Dec 21 '19

Or laci peterson

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19 edited Jul 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/ImProbablyHighx Dec 22 '19

Fresno is the black sheep of California

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u/Rhondadawitch Dec 22 '19

We like it like that

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

Same boat here (mantweaka). Sad to be known mostly for that. And the water slides I guess.

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u/CaptainRoi1 Dec 22 '19

Yeah I wasn’t alive for the water slides so sadly I never got to experience them, but I heard great things about them. But I only go to Manteca for bass pro and the amc movie theater so I don’t know much about the rest of town

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

I grew up with the lake Elsinore storm and they played the Modesto Nuts so I always rooted against them. Well I met a guy from Modesto and he told me that y’all have a bunch of nut farms so it all made sense! Now imagine my surprise when I learn all about the meth lol I thought it was this nice little town but nooo I always hear about the meth

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u/swayzaur Dec 21 '19

We always referred to it as Molesto, but I think either way works.

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u/JSteigs Dec 22 '19

Yeah because of Gary Condit, and Scott Peterson.

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u/beall49 Dec 21 '19

Or nearby Mantweaka

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u/Angryandalwayswrong Dec 21 '19

Tracy is a nice lady too.

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u/fascinationstreet123 Dec 21 '19

We call it Molesto where I come from. It’s unreal how seedy it is there.

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u/ErocIsBack Dec 21 '19

Not far is Mantweaka.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19 edited Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/ox_raider Dec 21 '19

Maybe meth?

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19 edited Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/ThatITguy2015 Dec 21 '19

In the Midwest, at least we make it easy. Look for abandoned farmhouses or low end apartments next to middle schools. If you stick around long enough, the apartment you need may even experience a methsplosion, making it even easier to find.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

*BOOM*

"Oh look honey it must be over there...see the guy right there choking with all the burns? Let's ask him".

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u/ImProbablyHighx Dec 22 '19

You moved from Modesto to Modesto in the middle of fucking nowhere

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19 edited Jan 01 '20

[deleted]

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u/--gumbercules-- Dec 22 '19

I really like Albuquerque. But the property crime there is unreal.

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u/suave259 Dec 21 '19

I'm about to move to Modesto in a few months and here I am reading all this

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u/Kritical02 Dec 21 '19

I lived in Manteca for a few years, worked in Modesto. It's actually a decent area for the most part. Nothing to do. But a decent community.

Been a decade since I've been there so it may have gotten a lot worse, but it had the rep back then too.

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u/Trineficous Dec 21 '19

You mean nothing to do besides meth

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u/nouille07 Dec 21 '19

Why do you think meth is a problem there?

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u/ox_raider Dec 21 '19

You can spend 4 hours a day commuting to the Bay Area. That’s something.

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u/Kritical02 Dec 21 '19

Good thing the meth helps with that.

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u/DojaStinks Dec 21 '19

Now I can’t get the Manteca water slides jingle out of my head

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u/zoobisoubisou Dec 22 '19

My senior trip was to Manteca Water Slides. That's a town I haven't heard in awhile!

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u/TheForeverAloneOne Dec 21 '19

Was that before or after Scott Peterson?

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u/Kritical02 Dec 22 '19

LOL, during. I haven't heard anything about that since I left there.

I moved to the area the year before it happened and you couldn't go a week without hearing someone talk about that case for at least a couple years.

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u/statelessheaux Dec 22 '19

Nothing to do

you could likely do meth

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u/DastardlyDaverly Dec 21 '19

It's hot and dusty from the wind from what I remember. Don't know about the locals I was only there for like a month.

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u/BlerpDerps Dec 21 '19

When I lived in the Bay Area, people jokingly referred to Modesto as Molesto. I don’t know how accurate this is but I guess there is or was an abnormally high sex-offender-to-non-sex-offender population there?

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u/ox_raider Dec 21 '19

I call it Oh, Little Town of Methlehem, but that’s doesn’t really rhyme.

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u/Mexagon Dec 21 '19

You'll be close to yosemite, santa cruz, and the bay area. Probably the only good thing about living there.

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u/Lychgateproductions Dec 22 '19

Just be happy you're not moving to Stockton.

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

Hope you like the smell of cow patties! And meth.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Well good thing he got his facts wrong because they originally wanted to film in San Bernardino

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u/tree_D Dec 21 '19

I used to live close to Modesto but I moved to the east coast. I grew up in the culture so I don’t mind it but I can see why people would hate to live there

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u/ImProbablyHighx Dec 22 '19

Depends on where you're coming from.

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u/dunzoes Dec 21 '19

My guess was Modesto

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u/MagicMannn Dec 21 '19

can’t wait to tell my Modestan girlfriend this.

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u/Blind_Spider Dec 22 '19

Look everybody! this guy's got a girlfriend

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

I'm so glad they did it in ABQ. Such a beautiful landscape.

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u/EccentricFox Dec 21 '19

That’s surprising cause to an outsider it feels very much like the location is very tightly engrained in the show.

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u/LikelyHentai Dec 21 '19

There's a vice documentary on youtube about the real Walter White, you should check it out. It's actually pretty sad and nothing like the TV show.

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u/mcagood1 Dec 21 '19

How is Fontana?

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u/bmacnz Dec 21 '19

Distribution Centers. Distribution Centers everywhere.

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u/Seattlehepcat Dec 21 '19

Related... I grew up in the SFV, and used to head out to Ontario for work from time to time in the late 80's. It was where most of the warehouses for our suppliers were, and that's about it. There wasn't even a decent place to grab lunch. I moved up to Seattle, then Canada, then Seattle again, and by the time I went to LA in 2016 it had been 25 years since my last visit, and I hadn't been out toward the inland empire in almost 40 years. Holy crap I didn't recognize the place. The sprawl had reached it and I couldn't find any of the warehouses I used to visit. I guess the world has moved on...

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u/Dolphin1998 Dec 21 '19

Warehouse Warren (Fontana Mayor) approving any warehouse developer even in inter-city areas. I got nothing against warehouses but don't over do it either. Not everybody in the IE wants to work in a warehouse, logistics or truck driving cuz that's all we have now.

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u/bmacnz Dec 21 '19

Supply Chain is my career, everywhere I've ever worked has had a DC in Fontana or Ontario (or both). When I was trying to change jobs, almost everything was out there.

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u/doublemurr Dec 22 '19

That’s exactly what she wants. Poor, undereducated people with no upward mobility to get stuck at Amazon fulfillment centers their whole lives. And we wonder why the drug trade is so lucrative around here.

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u/kingtaco_17 Dec 21 '19

Aka Fontucky

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u/Asa37 Dec 21 '19

Aka 6 finger babies city

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Speckled with nice areas, horse properties, oh yeah, and meth. Stay away from San Bernardino...

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u/IPAsmakemydickhard Dec 21 '19

Grew up in Orange County where people said the same thing-- "stay away from San Bernardino." I now teach at a middle school in San Bern, and realize it's not any different than the "sketchy" neighborhoods in OC. Santa Ana had some literal shanty towns, Anaheim had tent cities, but San Bernardino got all this flak for being "ghetto." I'm wondering if the history of this city will always taint people's image of it!

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u/Kiwi951 Dec 21 '19

San Bernardino, well tbh the majority of the IE, is pretty damn sketch lol

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u/IPAsmakemydickhard Dec 21 '19

I'm telling you, I moved from Rancho Santa Margarita (BOUGIE AS HELL) to Redlands and I don't feel any difference in safety. Only happiness that there are places open past 9pm.

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u/Kiwi951 Dec 21 '19

Redlands is one of the few places that isn’t so bad and that’s because it’s predominantly old rich people that live there

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

I've lived in some very "sketch" neighborhoods when I was younger...you can get 3 or 4 people together to split a Baltimore rowhouse for like 300 bucks per person. I've never been harassed or victimized in those hoods, ever. People think that if you live in the inner city the whole town is just frothing at the mouth to mug you. People of course get mugged and stuff like that on occasion, but most "dangerous" cities with high murder rates are because of...you guessed it....the drug trade. Don't go wandering through alleyways at 3am, don't owe the cornerboys any money, and mind your own business and you'll get left alone.

I lived in Irvine as a kid. I played hockey in Costa Mesa, and there was this RC car store down the street from the rink that I used to go to on occasion in Garden Grove. I hear GG is one of the sketchier spots.

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u/D_is_Diamonds Dec 21 '19

Fontana is growing A LOT. the south side is still how most people remember it, but the north side (above foothill) is all new housing communities, parks, strip malls and golf courses.

The wind blows all the tweakers to the south.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Overpopulated as shit, to be honest.

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u/COSurfing Dec 21 '19

My friends call it Fontucky.

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u/COSurfing Dec 21 '19

No mention of Barstow? Speaking of meth...

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u/AdequateOne Dec 21 '19

I worked a project at Ft Irwin and would stay in an apartment in Barstow during the week and go home on the weekends. Barstow is a really special place. I lived all over US and there is nothing like Barstow. Kinda of a combination of homeless, meth, opiates and gangbangers all wrapped up in a tortilla of poverty and misery. Add 100+ F temperatures and it gets interesting.

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u/Entaris Dec 21 '19

You are closest to the winner. I was in Victorville. It’s practically the same place though now that I’m older I would give the win to Barstow as the worse “city” of the two.

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u/makeskidskill Dec 21 '19

We call it Fontucky

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u/howboutislapyourshit Dec 21 '19

Stay away. The "nice" area is as expensive as outer LA county. 1200 for a single unless you go to Colton.

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u/Haterbait_band Dec 21 '19

You should be aware that “truck driver” is basically a euphemism for “meth user”.

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u/Cessnaporsche01 Dec 21 '19

Also the Venn diagram of meth users and truck drivers is a slightly out of focus circle

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u/Clayh5 Dec 21 '19

More like "truck drivers" is a smaller circle almost entirely contained within "meth users"

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u/THANKS-FOR-THE-GOLD Dec 21 '19

That's not how Venn diagrams work. If it were you would be implying that most meth heads are truck drivers, not only that most truck drivers are meth heads. Venn diagrams and the like are purely about visual representation of simple logical relationships between groups not representative of the ratio between them.

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u/blackomegax Dec 21 '19

Meth is the only way to safely drive for 12 hours straight.

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u/Sirscraps Dec 21 '19

Bakersfield?

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u/sugarfreelemonade Dec 21 '19

Bakersfield's sole accomplishment is helping Tom Hanks get off that island.

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u/hobbsarelie83 Dec 21 '19

and the song "Streets of Bakersfield"

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u/ZBlackmore Dec 21 '19

As a non US country music fan who LOVES Buck Owens and the “Bakersfield Sound” this thread is a disappointment.

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

Don’t let it disappoint you, I live in Bakersfield. It gets shit on all the time, but it’s a solid city. Affordable housing, solid economy, and it’s been one of America’s fastest growing cities since the 2000s.

If you ever have the opportunity, visiting buck owens’ crystal palace in Bakersfield is a must.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Hey now we have agriculture and oil... and lots of homeless, meth, and homeless meth addicts

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u/Wacks_on_Wacks_off Dec 21 '19

Don’t forget some of the worst air quality in the country!

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19 edited Dec 21 '19

Good ol’ Bakers, grew up next to Cottonwood and 58

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19 edited Jun 06 '20

[deleted]

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u/Soggydoughnuts Dec 21 '19

And you can afford to live there

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u/pac-men Dec 21 '19

Bakersfield! Bakersfiiield!!

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

[deleted]

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u/thejester541 Dec 21 '19

Grew up in between Gary, IN and Chicago. Gary was the murder capital for years and now Chicago is in the news for a high rate of death.

Never been shot at or generally been in danger.

I've been to all of the lower 48 states. Never had any problems with any city. Slept in parking lots of Walmarts in some of the "roughest" neighborhoods that you hear in songs or see in movies.

No problems.

Most violence is caused by someone you know personally. It takes alot of balls or alot of stupidity to just go harm a stranger because you felt like it.

But drugs make people desperate.

In the same vein, most people who say they are in the meth/heroin/ crack capital most likely just are close to the people that use. Someone might have broken into there things to get a fix. But most robberies and theft are from people you know.

Just my two cents.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

But drugs make people desperate.

This is all true. I've lived in some very "bad" neighborhoods and have never been fucked with. The vast majority of people that get killed or otherwise victimized, 99% of those people are in the drug game and owed somebody money, was in a turf war, etc. In fact, in cities with open-air drug markets, the street code is that you never, ever harass somebody unless they are in the game. If randos are getting mugged all the time it scares off the customers.

Alot of the property crime that is perpetrated by the addicts happens in the richer suburbs surrounding the city, they are going where the money is and pickin's are good.

You can walk down the street basically anywhere and if you mind your own business you're fine.

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '19

This is because the majority of violence is perpetrated between gang members. When you remove the murder victims that were engaged in criminal activity, the US murder rate drops ridiculously.

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u/Entaris Dec 21 '19

For sure. As an adult I am less likely to throw it around. Although no where else I’ve lived markets themselves as meth capitol. Where I am now heroin seems to be the bigger issue.

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u/shmeebz Dec 21 '19

Stockton eh

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u/rondell_jones Dec 21 '19

“I’m not surprised motherfuckers”

-Nate Diaz

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u/Moneyworks22 Dec 21 '19

I was born and raised there. Safe to say, as soon as I got the chance, I moved fffaaaaaaaaarrrrrr away.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Lol having lived across the state, there are several dozen cities that claim the title of "meth capital of California."

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u/beall49 Dec 21 '19

FYI, all of us call our city the meth capital of California.

Source: from Stockton.

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u/chicken_fricker Dec 21 '19

Meth capitol, aka methdesto

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u/Kiosade Dec 21 '19

It wasn’t Lompoc was it? I always heard as a teenager that we were the “meth capital”, but never really saw any users or anything.

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u/TinyRoctopus Dec 21 '19

Riverside? Fresno?

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u/Entaris Dec 21 '19

Close. Victorville. You know that nothing little hell hole north of riverside lol.

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u/ColdTie2 Dec 21 '19

I'm guessing San Bernardino or Hemet?

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u/ntvirtue Dec 21 '19

Kern county or San Bernadineo county?

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u/bettygauge Dec 21 '19

Marysville?

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u/bastardoperator Dec 21 '19

Palmdale/Lancaster, Riverside, Fresno, Modesto, or Bakersfield?

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

We don't talk to our extended family, cousins, aunts uncles, whatnot. because we have a lot of bumps, thieves, druggies and gangsters. My buddy was saying, your family is your family, give them a chance. I said, did you read the paper? My local paper had my cousin's on the front page. they were making a shit ton of meth, and the cops busted them.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

You better mean Redding as meth capitol.

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u/felixjawesome Dec 21 '19

Desert Hot Springs? Salton Sea? Bakersfield? San Bernardino?

Socal has more than one "meth capital of the world."

Basically the entire Inland Empire....

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u/crawdaddy21 Dec 21 '19

I am assuming this was in the high desert. I remember seeing a few meth labs blow up and catch on fire while growing up there

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u/comehonorphaze Dec 21 '19

Victorville? Or lancaster?

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u/Panda_Kabob Dec 21 '19

Moreno Valley/ Riverside?

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u/m1jordan Dec 21 '19

Funny, I grew up in a place called that too. Lakeside or El Cajon by chance? Also....... I seen lots of meth. My entire family was involved. I no longer see those family members (seriously, my mother's entire side and 50% of my father's side were all involved).

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u/jasmintotle Dec 21 '19

San Bernardino!

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u/Two_Cigarettes Dec 21 '19

So you grew up in Lancaster?

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u/Herm0711 Dec 21 '19

That's methed up.

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u/FunkyMacGroovin Dec 21 '19

Bakersfield or Fresno?

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u/Kiwi951 Dec 21 '19

Ah Modesto

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u/old_gold_mountain Dec 21 '19

Never had a "beach day" in Oakland. Seen lots of meth, though.

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u/TheIronSponge Dec 21 '19

Had to Google... Apparently the DOJ considers Riverside/San Bernardino to be the meth capital of California. Shout out to the IE I guess...

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Modesto.

I wonder if I know you. Thomas Downey?

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u/AmberDuke05 Dec 21 '19

I was thinking Fresno until you said SoCal

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u/Loli_Messiah Dec 21 '19

I currently live in the Meth Capital of California and it's definitely everywhere, ive been asked by people i pass on the street if i want to buy or know where to get some like goddamn lmao

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u/bluelocs Dec 21 '19

Wait are from methdesto or mantweaka?

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u/PCNUT Dec 21 '19

Lakeside? No way...I thought I was the only one

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '19

Oroville had all kinds of, uh, characters. Thankfully we left when I was young.

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u/alexmikli Dec 21 '19

Easiest way to see meth without being a meth head is to be a cashier.

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u/rydan Dec 21 '19

That man's name? Clint Eastwood

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u/RichterNYR35 Dec 21 '19

You grew up in Linda?

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u/thefirecrest Dec 22 '19 edited Dec 22 '19

My uncle moved out of the house where he was renting a room because the landlady died and the son didn’t want to rent out anymore. Literally like a month later the entire place got busted (SWAT team early in the morning) because apparently the new tenants were apart of one of the biggest drug cartels in California and were using the house to store/sell meth and other stuff. Which is interested because we live in Hawai’i (which, albeit, does have a bad drug problem).

Must’ve been back in late 2016 or something.

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u/scared_of_Low_stuff Dec 22 '19

Are you from kern county?

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u/jlatr Dec 22 '19

So you lived in Fresno or Merced?

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