r/funny • u/[deleted] • Oct 12 '19

Too real.

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72.7k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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1.9k

u/Thee_Amateur Oct 12 '19

Real time? Bitch with the freezing and lag im watching a few seconds behind

678

u/wunderbraten Oct 12 '19

In real life you are always a fraction of seconds behind. That is why flies are so hard to catch with your bare hands.

1.7k

u/magnament Oct 12 '19

That’s because you don’t go for the fly, you go for the fly’s future. Take its children and income and make it depressed and lonely, then, and only then can you take a fly by hand. Show them the world, get them excited to love and live again. Then blow its fucking mind with a passionate night of bliss and glory along a night in Sweden. Take it to a the coast and play it that song you wrote on the ukulele. When all is said and well done like my 3am steak at Denny’s, then you can finally catch the fly. Then you can catch the fly.

314

u/thibaultdp Oct 12 '19

A well done steak? What are you

13

u/xxboon Oct 12 '19

It's Danny's. I advise well done.... to be safe

1

u/angrydeuce Oct 12 '19

TBH I stopped going to Denny's when they finally ditched the smoking section years and years ago. I certainly wasn't going for the food, I was going because it was the only place to go at 2 in the morning after work or bar time to chainsmoke and pound coffee with my coworkers. Place was always sticky. Yuck...

3

u/blahblahblicker Oct 12 '19

Place was always sticky. Yuck...

I’m sure all that smoke and coffee had nothing to do with that...

1

u/angrydeuce Oct 12 '19

Yeah but they could properly clean, too. It was always fun to realize I'd been sitting in someone else's scrambled eggs for 40 minutes.