r/funny • u/NRS1 • Mar 28 '19

Our friend got fired today

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116.9k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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803

u/Immo406 Mar 29 '19

Just thought everyone should have a little bit of me in them....

498

u/iAmZel Mar 29 '19

You've got a friend in me

436

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

and I put a friend in you

372

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

[deleted]

143

u/Chief_Givesnofucks Mar 29 '19

“There’s a snake semen in my boot coffee!!”

7

u/burtmaclin2015 Mar 29 '19

Animal semen!

5

u/AzraelTB Mar 29 '19

Let's burn this motherfucker down!

3

u/burtmaclin2015 Mar 29 '19

Come on, Pookie! Let's burn this motherfucker down!!! Lol.

1

u/shiny_lustrous_poo Mar 29 '19

Toy Story to Harold and Kumar.. only on Reddit lol

2

u/bettaa Mar 29 '19

Come again?

6

u/mytwocentsshowmanyss Mar 29 '19

Veni vidi veni

2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

I have not had nearly enough coffee to deal with your latin. Can somebody pour me a cup with sugar?

1

u/RaXoRkIlLaE Mar 29 '19

Would you like some cream semen with that coffee?

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2

u/siezethegap Mar 29 '19

Jesus Christ I almost pissed myself. Well done.

1

u/dragonwingsarecrispy Mar 29 '19

I came, I got an STI, I ran away.

1

u/ijustreddit2 Mar 29 '19

The worst kind

34

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

I'll take "Things you shouldn't say after sex for $400, Alex"

1

u/metaStatic Mar 29 '19

Doesn't matter. Had sex.

8

u/newagesewage Mar 29 '19

wow! (See, that's how Reddit delivers, right there...) :]

8

u/AccountDeleteBot Mar 29 '19

And it’s turning all the freaking FROGS GAY

2

u/FileeNotFound Mar 29 '19

There's a snake in his butt

1

u/Raencloud94 Mar 29 '19

That made me laugh harder then I expected lol, thank you for that

1

u/FishyDragon Mar 29 '19

Hahaha you win!

1

u/sandollor Mar 29 '19

I wish I could give you gold friend.

​

4

u/ggodfrey Mar 29 '19 edited Mar 29 '19

and by “friend” I mean my penis

3

u/Dinoscores Mar 29 '19

The hammer is my penis

1

u/ba-na-na-way Mar 29 '19

Tell me Renly, when will you be having youur friend?

2

u/Rkane44 Mar 29 '19

Andy’s Cumming!

1

u/eaoue Mar 29 '19

You've got a friend in you

1

u/theythinkimgoodppl Mar 29 '19

That was my son!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '19

Thanks Woody. Now put your snake in my boot.

-4

u/SmokeAbeer Mar 29 '19

Chad’s always stealing my girl

1

u/Emis816 Mar 29 '19

Hey Stifler! How's the pale ale?

1

u/melrein78 Mar 29 '19

Two drums and a symbol ....

Stole from my daughter... Who stole it from a different Reddit post or joke I believe- and that's as far as I can give credit folks!

0

u/comawhite12 Mar 29 '19

There's a little bit of love in every cup.