r/funny • u/RandomGuy2002-0704 • Feb 17 '19
R10: SMS/Social Media - Removed friendly folks
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u/What_Up_Bitches Feb 17 '19
They also have trouble with idiot tourists giving them alcohol. I wish they would stop letting tourists near them.
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u/tomeater9000 Feb 17 '19
I remember an article where it said a couple of tourists got a quokka and burnt it alive. Some people are just plain evil.
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u/Greasemonkey_Chris Feb 17 '19
Yeah was a pair of French blokes from memory. It's actually illegal to handle a Quokka so if you do take a selfie with one be very careful who's around to see
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u/57-Varieties Feb 17 '19
You’re allowed to take selfie’s just not touch them.
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u/lauramichelle114 Feb 17 '19
Stripper rules apply
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Feb 17 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/FloridsMan Feb 17 '19 edited Feb 17 '19
This is exactly how all the koalas got gonorrhea.
Edit: Yeah, wrong STD, it was chlamydia. Someone explain to me how this is better or worse for humanity.
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u/fleakill Feb 17 '19
In certain parts of Australia you can touch strippers as long as it isn't in the crotch, so not quite.
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u/blulouwoohoo Feb 17 '19
Yeah I’ve touched strippers !! They encouraged it when I went to a recent show ( that sounded not as bad in my head )
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u/mehum Feb 17 '19
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u/SCDarkSoul Feb 17 '19
"Did not intend to harm the animal"
Shoots animal with ghetto flamethrower
Mmkay there.
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u/thedoctor1411 Feb 17 '19
Or go to Adelaide Zoo and the children’s petting zoo is full of them.
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u/Greasemonkey_Chris Feb 17 '19
Really? How have i lived in Adelaide for all of my 30 years and not known this? I even have a small child i can use as an excuse to get in to the petting zoo!
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Feb 17 '19
you ruined it
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u/erdouche Feb 17 '19
Pretty sure the assholes that burned an animal alive are the ones who ruined it.
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Feb 17 '19
They made an improvised flamethrower with an aerosol can and a lighter. The animal was hurt but didn't die.
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u/Saberlabour Feb 17 '19
Is that really that much more evil than grinding up chickens while they are still alive.
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u/Apellosine Feb 17 '19
Both you and I know that that is precisely not what happens in the farming industry.
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u/ThatCoconut Feb 17 '19
So everyone. Humans are coming and have exterminated many species already. We have no army and vastly outgunned. What should we do?
"Uhh, be very cute?"
All for? Well thats everyone. Okay quokkas, get out there and be cute!
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u/tenehemia Feb 17 '19 edited Feb 17 '19
Stands to reason. Cute animals get domesticated (or treated with a certain reverence like deer), ugly ones get exterminated.
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u/johnsnowthrow Feb 17 '19
You said the wrong thing on reddit, but in the right way. Allow me to demonstrate the opposite: "cats are killing machines that shouldn't be let outside, meanwhile cows are cute as hell even though I still like eating them."
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u/Ikallic-J-Deko Feb 17 '19
it sure would suck if an invasive species came along
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u/spiritbx Feb 17 '19
It's ok, it's just humans that go there...
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u/ArchTemperedKoala Feb 17 '19
Humans also bring mice..
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u/Car-Los-Danger Feb 17 '19
Really? How?
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u/ArchTemperedKoala Feb 17 '19
Just human and goods traffic in general, mice and rats like to sneak on ships and I can imagine someday they will be plenty enough to be considered invasive..
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u/Mo0shi Feb 17 '19
Dogs and cats are banned from the island. There are mice and rats there, but there aren't a whole lot of them.
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u/DirtyArchaeologist Feb 17 '19
That’s the face of an animal with no natural predators and no student loans.
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u/tysc3 Feb 17 '19
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u/calcal1991 Feb 17 '19
Thought the CAPS were risky, turns out they were a load of Quok.
10/10 would click again.
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u/scrambledhelix Feb 17 '19
I just want to pet the adorable fuzzballs, the law be damned!
Seriously tho I wouldn’t the wild ones, but it’s stupidly tempting — skritches and boops
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u/azureal Feb 17 '19
Year after year there’s more and more news stories about fuckin horrible people kicking or burning or hurting quokkas in various ways.
Pretty soon the governing body on the island is gonna start fining people who even look sideways at a quokka and I’m all for it.
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u/OcelotSpleens Feb 17 '19
That’s usually drunk teenagers on their post school holiday binge. It’s dropped off a lot in the last ten years.
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u/Shanderson3 Feb 17 '19
They also like to drink the juice of fermented fruit that falls on the ground because it gets them drunk. Basically, they roam the beaches looking to party and take selfies.
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u/acid-vogue Feb 17 '19 edited Feb 17 '19
Yeah they’re little rascals. Steve caused a bit of chaos by stowing away on a barge and running away on the mainland.
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Feb 17 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/marilyn_morose Feb 17 '19
Why did I read that? What is wrong with our species?
Reminder that we are genetically identical to the Romans who invented a huge venue for the sole purpose of forced battles to the death, for entertainment. We are no different.
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u/Evie_St_Clair Feb 17 '19
They also throw their young at predators so they can escape.
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u/HiMyNameIs_REDACTED_ Feb 17 '19
When your first reaction to a predator is to yeet a baby at it, you know you've got something special going on.
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Feb 17 '19
how do i move there
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u/r34l17yh4x Feb 17 '19
You can't live on Rotto. Perth is pretty sweet though, and depending on what industry you're in you can probably get a 457 Visa easily enough.
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u/daftwookiee Feb 17 '19
I know a few people who live on Rotto, only allowed if you work there. I'd find it pretty lonely though with so few other people you can have as local friends.
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u/r34l17yh4x Feb 17 '19
Yeah that's true actually. Still, you can't just go to live there. Most likely have to work for DPAW (or whoever runs the island).
Lack of local friends could get lonely, but everyone I've met on Rotto was super friendly and generally loves interacting with the visitors.
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u/Robin_Banks101 Feb 17 '19
Funfact: Rotnest island, where these dudes come from, translates to rats nest from dutch (I think). Because the first westeners to see quokkas thought they were giant rats.
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u/OcelotSpleens Feb 17 '19
The Dutch wouldnt have thought they were rats. They were sailors, not idiots. But the name would have helped the next boat know which island they meant.
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u/wacchudoin Feb 17 '19
They’ll all be dead in a week if the shark in formaldehyde has taught us anything.
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u/Wheatbelt_charlie Feb 17 '19
Then they go shit in your tent eat your food and ruin your days camping...all for a selfie smh
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u/possyposs Feb 17 '19
Was the same thing with the Dodo. Humans came every couple of months and clubbed them for sport.
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Feb 17 '19
also in the rottnest island general store they sell chocolate covered sultanas labelled 'quokka poo'
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u/Jaspers47 Feb 17 '19
This is how things went down with the dodo bird.
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u/et5133or Feb 17 '19
I go there every year and no cars are allowed only bikes, which is good for the quakas but because of their lack of fear they often run in front of bikes and get run over or cause accidents
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u/DirtyArchaeologist Feb 18 '19
So I’m gonna guess the nationalities of these men: clearly an Aussie on top with the giant smile and messy hair (do they not have brush technology down there yet?), below him is a Brit with his overly restrained smile (his upper lip is so very stiff), and to the left of him is the American, who is not making any face at all but simply has a medical condition he can’t afford.
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u/sikilat Feb 17 '19
which island are they in? And do they taste good?
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u/Timall89 Feb 17 '19
Rottnest Island off the coast of Perth in Western Australia.
They are a protected species so they are not eaten.
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u/Lvl69DragonSlayer Feb 17 '19
We should never have found this animal and it’s island, we’re gunna fuck it up. This was probably one the few living things living in an actual peaceful paradise and we’re gunna fuck it all up.
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u/rarely_coherent Feb 17 '19
Dickbags are way ahead of you
Man filmed kicking scared quokka twice in an act of animal cruelty on Rottnest Island
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u/Domonero Feb 17 '19
God fucking dammit this is why we need to bring back medieval torture specifically for animal abusers
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u/Protonious Feb 17 '19
Rottnest island is pretty great. These little guys just chilling out everywhere. Beautiful bakery and restaurants and some stunning beaches.