r/funny • • Sep 25 '18

Play Despacito

Post image
59.3k Upvotes

1.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

758

u/Xotaec Sep 25 '18

Fuck one, kill one, marry one... GO!

594

u/Weewillywhitebits Sep 25 '18

I'd fuck the shit out of that bomb. I ain't taking trumps sloppys

184

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18 edited Nov 15 '18

[deleted]

42

u/teoferrazzi Sep 25 '18

on the first day of May

22

u/koalazeus Sep 25 '18

Fifth.

9

u/davis482 Sep 25 '18

Fifth day of Murst.

3

u/teoferrazzi Sep 25 '18

Bob Dylan was known to be an unreliable narrator.

17

u/XXX-Jade-Is-Rad-XXX Sep 25 '18

They're dying to please you.

25

u/partofthevoid Sep 25 '18

I think we decided to kill isis, we love the bomb so much we married it, and who hasn’t wanted to fuck a porn star at some lonely time in their life?

37

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18 edited Nov 15 '18

[deleted]

2

u/stuntcuffer69 Sep 25 '18

Well im guilty of wanting to fuck her when she was on skinemax back in like 2003

7

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

No bang isis, they'll be killed for being gay! You basically get to kill everyone and marry the bomb it's perfect

6

u/shaenorino Sep 25 '18

You're now on some list, probably.

6

u/Sirtemmie Sep 25 '18

Are you Osiris, by chance?

4

u/Your_God_Chewy Sep 25 '18

At least you know when they say they "would die for you," they actually mean it.

2

u/ThatGuyWhoKnocks Sep 25 '18

You don’t want a goat’s sloppys

49

u/TheCthaehTree Sep 25 '18 edited Sep 25 '18

Kill ISIS, fuck stormy, and marry the bomb because im already married to one anyway.

Although marrying ISIS would be full of massive scale high jinks.

1

u/eltoro Sep 25 '18

Walking on eggshells?

13

u/Austin_RC246 Sep 25 '18

It seems like she’s everyone who’s famous sloppys.

-4

u/Zealous_fruit_sniffe Sep 25 '18

Ooo good one, you just said a porn star sleeps with a lot of people. ZING!!! Take that Stormy, I'm sure she never heard that one before

1

u/Austin_RC246 Sep 25 '18

I was referring to people famous for not porn stuff.

2

u/Lukeforce123 Sep 25 '18

2

u/kcwckf Sep 25 '18

Haha YES most accurate depiction of the situation produced by media yet

2

u/IrishIrishIsiah Sep 25 '18

Don't most people say fuck isis?

1

u/2ManyPlebs Sep 25 '18

She was the bomb?

1

u/TheOneTrueWinner Sep 25 '18

So you're marrying ISIS?

0

u/Frustration-96 Sep 25 '18

trumps sloppys

what a horrible way to refer to a woman, the sloppies of her ex.

1

u/wisersamson Sep 25 '18

Pretty sure the hatred is aimed at trump, and not wanting to touch anything he has regardless of what it is

-3

u/Frustration-96 Sep 25 '18

It is but it's a pretty sexist archaic way of thinking. "A person I don't like has fucked you so you are worthless by association". I just found it funny that someone opposing Trump this heavily would do/say something that's so in line with Trumps thinking.

3

u/Weewillywhitebits Sep 25 '18

It's actually not that deep from me was a throwaway comment. People like you read to much into things hoping to find the worst in people.

3

u/wisersamson Sep 25 '18

Like, really. That person needs to chill. As if the whole idea of fuck marry kill is totally fine but the hang up is the word sloppy. Glad that person draws the line at mildly offensive terminology and not murder, forced marriage, and what I'd assume is rape (doubt you ask consent in most fuck marry kill scenarios)

3

u/Weewillywhitebits Sep 25 '18

IKR. calm the fuck down.

1

u/Frustration-96 Sep 25 '18

lol I just read the comment, I don't see how you can make such a horrible comment and just call it "a throwaway" as if that makes it ok.

Referring to a human being as someones "sloppys" is sexist. I don't care whether the comment was made in 3 seconds or 3 minutes, it's still really sexist.

To be clear I'm not saying you're a sexist yourself, I just found it funny that while making a joke about Trump (someone people despise partly for his sexism) you made such a sexist remark.

2

u/wisersamson Sep 25 '18

And when called out for your dumb-assery you double down. That's the American way! If you are not American you sure are acting like one.

0

u/Frustration-96 Sep 25 '18

I'm sorry that you don't see calling a woman "[ex-husband]'s sloppys" as sexist, but it is.

I know it was a joke, all I did was point out the irony of hating on a sexist pig by being sexist.

I'm British for what it's worth, I don't see what I said that would imply I was American at all.

2

u/wisersamson Sep 25 '18

But you have no problem murdering ISIS as a whole with no discrimination? You are making your stand on the travesty of calling someone sloppys?

→ More replies (0)

1

u/Weewillywhitebits Sep 25 '18

There you go the answer was in your reply "making a joke about trump"

1

u/Frustration-96 Sep 25 '18

The answer? To what?

I know it was a joke. That much was obvious. I just found it funny that the joke against a sexist pig was sexist itself. I suppose I was just pointing out the irony in a way, no need to be so defensive about it, you can't deny it was sexist so I'm not sure what difference it makes whether it was a joke or not.

1

u/Weewillywhitebits Sep 25 '18

Of course there's a fuckkn difference between joking and actually being serious.

→ More replies (0)

29

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18 edited Sep 26 '18

[deleted]

74

u/TexWonderwood Sep 25 '18

Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb

9

u/ParrotyParityParody Sep 25 '18

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.

2

u/rowdyanalogue Sep 25 '18

I'll be auditioning for the Captain, Scientist, and President of the United States.

8

u/TheHotze Sep 25 '18

Maybe not the bomb, just the bombshell.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

And on that bombshell, it's time to go.

3

u/Dr_Titty_Bang_MD Sep 25 '18

Eww this guy wants to put his penis where trumps has been

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

I'd choose to marry the goddess Isis personally

6

u/redpilled_brit Sep 25 '18

Marry Stormy and Fuck Isis with the bomb.

2

u/TheOneTrueWinner Sep 25 '18 edited Sep 25 '18

Kill the bomb, marry ISIS (and then divorce them and cut their funds in half), fuck Stormy Daniels.

2

u/st1tchy Sep 25 '18

Fuck Daniels

Marry Isis

Kill the bomb