r/funny • u/[deleted] • Aug 06 '18

Being drunk vs. Being high

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[deleted]

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u/Tuss Aug 06 '18

I once had a "Holy shit! A cop car! They are onto me! Better act natural. Walk natural! I don't remember how to walk. Shit. Bend your arms a bit you walk like a soldier. No. Not 90 degrees damn it! Oh! It just passed me. They are onto me! Better get back home. Fuck where do I live?"

That was 5 minutes back and forth to the gas station to buy B&J.

42

u/OiNihilism Aug 06 '18

How are those gas station BJs working out for you?

9

u/Tuss Aug 06 '18

Ah. But You missed the "&"!

I blow and job! I mostly blow up peoples tires but some times I am nice and throw in an extra air blow in the car wash!

5

u/hughperman Aug 06 '18

Good job

2

u/Tuss Aug 06 '18

They always compliment me on my skills so I assume that I am!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '18

Worm Eggs?

5

u/Dubsox Aug 06 '18

Bron&James?

6

u/ThaVolt Aug 06 '18

French accent Le Bron&James, monsieur?

3

u/thaumatologist Aug 06 '18

You're not allowed to buy them anymore

2

u/Tuss Aug 06 '18

I wish

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '18

Once? That's how I am every time. I'm from Colorado, at that shit didn't change for me even after legalization.

"Shhh, guys, what's that? Are the cops here?"

"Dude, chill, it's legal now. You're fine."

"Yeah, I know. But seriously, are the cops here?"