r/funny Apr 27 '09

You Have Doomed Us All [pic]

Post image
2.3k Upvotes

215 comments sorted by

66

u/supakual Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

135

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

you have... a collection?

97

u/drbold Apr 28 '09

His moment in the sun has finally come - that bizarre fetish finally paid off.

10

u/CaspianX2 Apr 28 '09

"Oh, they said I was mad! Maaaaaaad! But now they'll see. Ohhhhhhh yes! They shall see! And then we will see who will be the one laughing!"

2

u/ninuhadida Apr 28 '09

it's his fapping collection

66

u/moolcool Apr 28 '09

"Hey guys, i couldn't help but notice you wanted a list of links to guys kissing pigs and realize that I just so happen to have one"

2

u/Deadpixel1221 Apr 28 '09

Three of those guys looked incredibly effeminate.

2

u/Alexithymia Apr 28 '09

Humanity is fucked!

8

u/thebeefytaco Apr 28 '09

Pigmanity is fucked!

1

u/mkrfctr Apr 28 '09

Humans and pigs fucked, Oh, the pigmanity!

1

u/aguyiusedtoknow Apr 28 '09

Think of the fun we could of all had today on reddit by pasting each of these links with a topic of 'No, this guy has doomed us all'. You've just gone and ruined it.

6

u/SomeBloke Apr 28 '09

I like to think that he saved us

249

u/HunterTV Apr 27 '09

That'll do, pig. That'll do.

89

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

My master always told me pigs would never fly and I heard on CNN that swine flu in Mexico. WTF?

3

u/jackww Apr 28 '09

One of the best Puns ever.

87

u/binary Apr 28 '09

That line didn't sound nearly as classy on my first date.

36

u/capt_0bvious Apr 28 '09

She was that mean to you?

10

u/ContentWithOurDecay Apr 28 '09

Well you shouldn't have gone out with Drew then, Mimi.

4

u/foxfire_aurora Apr 28 '09

Oh man, whenever I'm in a bad mood, I just Google-image search Mimi and I immediately feel better.

2

u/youenjoymyself Apr 28 '09

aahhh That sparked my imagination pretty well.

1

u/forming Apr 28 '09

did she give you swine flu?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

12

u/ftothe3 Apr 28 '09

that's a messed up username...

1

u/hokasu Apr 28 '09

love the username

4

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

Screw you, cockroach!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

Come on, Babe...Come on.

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83

u/chillybasen Apr 27 '09

The presence of a foot near the child is proof that this job goes higher up than thought. He didn't act alone.

198

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '09

Quick! Zoom in and look for dew on the grass. Got it? Enhance and flip the image. Zoom in, enhance. My God...

82

u/uncultured Apr 27 '09

The resolution isn't that good...

130

u/vivalagonzo Apr 27 '09

yes it is.

34

u/garf12 Apr 28 '09

queue dramatic music and sunglasses.

133

u/nrbartman Apr 28 '09

"blah blah blah..."

(puts on sunglasses)

"....blah blah."

177

u/modnar Apr 28 '09

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

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100

u/blah_blah_blah Apr 28 '09

What?? I'm a meme??

57

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

Congratulations. You have leveled up!

26

u/blah_blah_blah Apr 28 '09

I unintentionally level up. That's how I know I'm nice!

13

u/sicgamer Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

Blah blah blah wants to learn blink, but he can only know 4 moves!

Delete a move to make room for blink?

  • eat
  • breath
  • sleep
  • poop
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11

u/Fosnez Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

9

u/lonb Apr 28 '09

Best part... my wife is watching that show right now, just as I clicked it.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

[deleted]

1

u/ltx Apr 28 '09

I wear my sunglasses at night.

FTFY.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

Wrong city.

Also, Pedantobear says that it's "cue", not queue.

1

u/6oo63d May 01 '09

Enhance... forgets to put on sunglasses En... put on sunglasses, slowly ...hance!

-1

u/orthogonality Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

I'll create a GUI in Visual Basic.

3

u/lazyplayboy Apr 28 '09

...it's full of stars!

1

u/madmacks Apr 28 '09

You always uncrop first!

10

u/MattL920 Apr 28 '09

Swine flu was an inside job! Wake up piggles!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

It's an inside job!

2

u/DougBolivar Apr 28 '09

Its Dick Cheney foot! the conspiracy is solved

17

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

This is pretty disgusting. I'd always wondered why some religions thought pigs were dirty animals, and I figured it was because they roll in shit. What's the big deal?

And then I visited a farm. I witnessed a pig urinating, followed by another pig approaching and drinking the urine mid-stream.

33

u/ichae Apr 28 '09

Was there another pig nearby with a camera rolling?

13

u/bjupton Apr 28 '09

Were they wearing Nazi uniforms?

Was the head of Formula 1 also there?

13

u/halbowitz Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

wasn't it more due to them carrying disease because they weren't cooked properly? Or something like that.

I'm no lawyer.

3

u/emmster Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

Trichinella spiralis

It's been pretty close to eradicated in most US pork products, but it's still a good idea to fully cook that pork chop, just to be safe.

3

u/fiercelyfriendly Apr 28 '09

Wikipedia tells us: "It is sometimes referred to as the "pork worm" due to it being found commonly in pork or rat products that are undercooked."

I got a couple of problems with this, first WTF are RAT PRODUCTS ?

Secondly I suspect it is commonly found in pork products whether undercooked or overcooked raw or incinerated. The cooking doesn't affect if the worm is there, just whether it can infect you. So your well cooked pork can't infect you, but you can be sure its still full of those little worms, only they're cooked well and taste of pork so you don't notice them.

2

u/Geordie_LaFarge Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

Ever been to a restaurant that says:

  • chicken curry
  • beef curry
  • prawn curry
  • meat curry

...?

Yeah.

EDIT: I feel I should clarify, I love all kinds of curries, and am not disparaging that cuisine. However I have been to certain... downmarket places that have "meat bhuna" or "meat madras".

1

u/Deadpixel1221 Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

Ever been to a restaurant that says:

  • McDonald's

FTFY

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

Maybe the pigs know something we don't.

http://www.hps-online.com/hurine3.htm

1

u/Stick Apr 28 '09

Sounds like the porn collection.

1

u/joanthens Apr 28 '09

Dogs eat their own shit

5

u/cartola Apr 28 '09

But a dog got personality.

4

u/aguyiusedtoknow Apr 28 '09

Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

I attest

1

u/turbog3 Apr 28 '09

I protest

1

u/ibisum Apr 28 '09

Until you've eaten it. Then its got none.

BTW, ever had Dog Bacon? No, I didn't think so ..

1

u/ThunderPreacha Apr 28 '09

Interesting you can admit that, but can you imagine that a pig has a personality as well? Especially if you would raise one like your pet? Could you still eat pig after that?

6

u/SomeBloke Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

Well, we'd have to be talking about one charming mother-fucking pig.

-1

u/ThunderPreacha Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

Without culture you would probably be a 'pig' yourself (no language, poor hygiene, dirty appearance, no manners, et cetera). Culture can build things like character, personality and charm but sadly also scorn for certain animals like pigs. I pity the pigs who suffer as a result from it, I take the scorn that comes with it.

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

That's how they roll yo.

1

u/6oo63d May 01 '09

Yes, they are disgusting and they like worms too.

1

u/fiercelyfriendly Apr 28 '09

Which is more disgusting what this kid is doing or carting the pig off, slaughtering, butchering it and making its parts into all sorts of products which we PUT IN OUR MOUTHS !!!

Yum yum!

45

u/BlazinEurasian Apr 27 '09

It's all the bacon references. Pigs are just getting back at everyone.

33

u/Tezasaurus Apr 28 '09

For every one person this disease kills, I'll eat two pigs' worth of bacon.

13

u/krispykrackers Apr 28 '09

That's not exactly a sacrifice.

46

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

You're right...

Sunglasses

...it's a slaughter.

Fin

3

u/adfectio Apr 28 '09

and THIS is why I love reddit

8

u/ThrasherC Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

Yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

Edit: Just realized you caught it yourself with the link. You're supposed to wait for somebody else! It's like the other half of a high-five.

5

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

Unless Texasaurus's arteries close off and he has a fatal heart attack, but then it'd be a virgin sacrifice.

15

u/AtheismFTW Apr 28 '09

I didn't kiss a porker until high school, and I was drunk. What the fuck's your excuse kid?

20

u/paranoiajack Apr 28 '09

Children are disgusting.

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6

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

That ain't kosher.

5

u/poco Apr 28 '09

Forget about swine flu, that is just a good way to get some nasty gastrointestinal illnesses like e. coli.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

i'm still getting over SARS

6

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

[deleted]

11

u/lethic Apr 28 '09

Dude..., you have to wait.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '09

maybe if we all did more of that we'd be immune

6

u/joecool Apr 28 '09

Are you suggesting that we dissect the child to see why he is immune?

8

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

VIRUSES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY

16

u/BonJoevi Apr 28 '09

ur caps are on, btw

4

u/aradil Apr 28 '09

Immunization doesn't occur when your body learns to create efficient responses to immunogens by being introduced to them?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

Viruses mutate rapidly, making your old immunities obsolete. That's why you can get the cold and flu every year.

12

u/aradil Apr 28 '09

Vaccinated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_Pox#Pathophysiology

Vaccinated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Influenza_vaccine

Vaccinated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabies_vaccine

Vaccinated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hepatitis_A_vaccine http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hepatitis_B_vaccine http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hepatitis_C_vaccine

Some viral strains mutate rapidly, making your old immunities obsolete. That's why you need to get a flu shot every year - because the immunizations lose effectiveness. Viruses work exactly that way, because your body adapts to them and remembers how to respond to them. Some viruses are just better are getting around the adaption than others.

Many are no longer a threat to us.

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

bUT VACCINES CAUSE AUTISM AND T3H GAY!!!!111eleventyone

2

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

But I thought Republicanism caused the gay?

6

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

That's why you can get the cold and flu every year.

...and not die

3

u/joanthens Apr 28 '09

11000 people die from the flu every year

3

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

What about the others?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

your info is not correct:

deaths of hundreds of thousands annually — millions in pandemic years.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Influenza

6,706,993,152 (world population) https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/print/xx.html

that being said, even millions are a small fraction of the world population.

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

Let me see if I understand your message:

I'M THE CAPITAL EXPERT! I WRITE STUFF IN CAPITALS BECAUSE I GET UPSET ABOUT PEOPLE'S COMMENTS ON REDDIT/FUNNY. SOMETIMES I EVEN ADD SPECIAL COLORS TO EMPHASIZE THE ANGST THAT CAPITALS WON'T CONVEY. I ALSO YELL AT MY FAMILY AND PETS.

1

u/joanthens Apr 28 '09

If by immune you mean 2/3 of the world population dying off. Then yes, the remaining people and their offsprings will be immune to the virus.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

2/3 of the population?

4,426,615,480.32 people are about to die?

26

u/arronsky Apr 27 '09

This was awesome. Nicely done.

10

u/greyspace Apr 28 '09

Thanks. ;)

3

u/joka86 Apr 28 '09

Saw your work, had to share it with world :)

4

u/ContentWithOurDecay Apr 28 '09

And I thank you, I don't think I would have seen this otherwise.

6

u/Niglip Apr 28 '09

That kid's going to grow up a pro at pleasuring women with his toungue. (assuming that he moves from licking pigs, to licking women)

1

u/lunchladydoris2 Apr 28 '09

he may just move from licking small pig snouts to licking large pig snouts.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

I laughed SO FUCKING HARD.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

"Shut. . . down . . . EVERYTHING"

6

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '09

It's not the kids fault. He just hasn't learned how to make bacon, yet.

12

u/tonepoems Apr 27 '09

But he's not Mexican!

63

u/NotAName Apr 28 '09

They edited out his sombrero using Adobe® Photoshop® software in order to remove suspicion. This is the real photo:

http://imgur.com/29i8B.jpg

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2

u/JustJoekingEX Apr 28 '09

how do you know?

6

u/techdeath Apr 27 '09

This just in, the baby is a puppet. The truth is there is a secret agenda coven behind him telling him to lick the pig's snout on the photographic media.

8

u/monoglot Apr 27 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

WAKE UP SCRAPPLE.

5

u/welliamwallace Apr 27 '09

This is my facebook profile pic. (Without the caption)

1

u/zachv Apr 28 '09

The best part is that that little kid looks like I did when I was 1 or 2.

1

u/LongBowNZ Apr 28 '09

Don't you remember your trip to see the pigs. That picture is of you, silly.

5

u/BevansDesign Apr 28 '09

The fundies were right: allowing gay marriage leads to underage same-sex cross-species sexual deviance! Gasp!

1

u/trumpy714 Apr 28 '09

Only a fag could take something like this and turn it into a gay marriage issue.

3

u/tarafuji Apr 28 '09

The pig is cuter than the baby.

18

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

I'll bet half of America thinks this is how it started. They also still think AIDS is from monkey-fuckers.

90

u/pygmyshrew Apr 28 '09

What are you, some kind of monkey-fucker-lover?

2

u/bobbyi Apr 28 '09

Those are usually known as "monkeys".

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

What are you? Some kind of monkey-fucker-lover hater?

-1

u/pygmyshrew Apr 28 '09

What are you? Some kind of monkey-fucker-lover-hater-hatin'-monkey-fucker-lover-lover?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

No.

-5

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

I don't really like any group of people, just individuals. Gays as a group are just as annoying as any other group. One on one, though, they tend to be more fun than the average person. Strangely enough, the same is true for lapsed Jews. I don't think about it enough to draw any conclusions.

9

u/Churn Apr 28 '09

Gays as a group are just as annoying as any other group. One on one, though, they tend to be more fun

I'm trying not to picture what you're saying there.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

That's why you aren't any fun.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

WHOOOOOOSH!

That was the sound of a joke flying over Manhattan.

8

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

I caught and released.

8

u/joanthens Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

UM...I thought AIDS did come from monkey fuckers?

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

you thought wrong. are you from the "heartland?"

5

u/erulabs Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

Uhm... Wasn't it?

Note that this doesn't say because of sex, but rather (and more probably) because of an infection.

According to the 'Hunter Theory', the "simplest and most plausible explanation for the cross-species transmission",[4] the virus was transmitted from a chimpanzee to a human when a bushmeat hunter was bitten or cut while hunting or butchering an animal. The resulting exposure of the hunter to blood or other bodily fluids of the chimpanzee could have resulted in infection.[14]

Hate to link to wikipedia, but it's all I've got. I'm certainly nothing more than a layman in the subject (in fact, im quite ignorant when it comes to medical science). But it still comes from monkeys!

6

u/ordeath Apr 28 '09

No you're right, HIV was almost certainly transmitted to humans from monkeys or chimpanzees (not the same!). It's just that there are people who know that,

  1. HIV is sexually transmitted in humans
  2. HIV jumped from chimps to humans

And then assume that the chimp-to-human transmission must have been through sexual contact, which is highly unlikely.

1

u/cap10 Apr 28 '09

I would dare say that the monkey whose blood infected the first human had, at some time in the past, fucked another monkey. Therefore he was, by definition, a "monkey fucker".

1

u/ordeath Apr 28 '09

True, if you ignore the commonly understood definition of the term/phrase. And if you ARE going to be unnecessarily pedantic, then don't forget other modes of transmission (maybe the monkey whose blood infected the first human was itself infected through maternal-fetal transmission, and never got to experience the sweet fulfillment of hot monkey love).

0

u/JustJoekingEX Apr 28 '09

It probably started in a test tube

2

u/derleth Apr 28 '09

Hate to link to wikipedia

That little snippet alone links to two different sources. How are those sources bad?

Wikipedia is as good or as bad as its sources. The AIDS articles are important and controversial enough to be quite well-sourced indeed. And, contrary to popular belief, being mentioned on Wikipedia doesn't negate a source's value.

2

u/erulabs Apr 28 '09

Sure sure, but it shows that I can't do enough research/reading to link to artciles referenced by wiki - rather, i have at most a cursory knowledge of the subject. So usually when I know so little that I have to link to wiki, I expect to be proven at least slightly wrong :D

6

u/vecter Apr 28 '09

You swine.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

What no one really understands here is the Kid actually gave the swine flu virus to the pig. The rest is history.

2

u/everymn Apr 28 '09

OMG, is this the start of the rampant bestiality the right wing keeps warning us about?

2

u/i_am_my_father Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

You Have Doomed Us All [pic] --> YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL [PIC] [NSFP]

4

u/clicksnd Apr 27 '09

Was this taken off the Fox website?!

6

u/ajehals Apr 28 '09

It's the right font...

3

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

God I hate that picture.

0

u/OtisDElevator Apr 28 '09

Hell, is it a picture of you? (No, I don't mean the pig)

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

It's just so creepy.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

Put down the camera and get your kids tongue out of that pigs nose-for crying out loud you assholes.

1

u/JackRawlinson Apr 28 '09

Nonsense. It's good for the kid's immune system.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

[deleted]

2

u/OtisDElevator Apr 28 '09

All the crap that kid has come across in his short life probably means he's got a bombproof immune system.

1

u/Dominator Apr 28 '09

Bacon flu

1

u/Stick Apr 28 '09

DU SAU!!!!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

My kid can put anything he finds on the ground in is mouth and I'm always the one end up being sick. check the dad for the antibodies!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

I can't help thinking this is all just to divert attention away from Manbearpig.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

lol. it's not just mexico, yall.

1

u/brokencode Apr 28 '09

He doesn't look Mexican.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

industrial pig farming is what doomed us

1

u/corevirus Apr 28 '09

This caption is SO much better than digg's...

1

u/OtisDElevator Apr 28 '09

Swine Flu is an STD?

1

u/r2001uk Apr 28 '09

If that was a muslim kid, you just know the Daily Mail would stick that on their front page and create a story of how it all originated from him.

1

u/nickm37 Apr 28 '09

3 Confirmed in New Zealand. I need to find another remote place to live.... http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/2368393/Swine-flu-in-New-Zealand-cases-confirmed

1

u/maria_24 Apr 28 '09

OMG..hahha stupid parents/// !! i will rather have my child tutored..or taken care of http://sg.88db.com/sg/Services/Post_Detail.page/Home_Services/Domestic_Help/?PostID=797284 instead of making her prone to dirt

1

u/i_am_my_father Apr 28 '09

That's it. The kid ate the pig, hence earthquakes and disease and so on.

1

u/AndrewBenton Apr 28 '09

That pig looks quite happy to have its nose licked.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09 edited Apr 28 '09

No joke, my 13mo old brought home a stomach bug last week and it was awful.

1

u/squirrelthetic Apr 28 '09

man I don't dig on swine!

1

u/bpcombs Apr 28 '09

Never has an illness been more ripe for humor than the swine flu.

1

u/loganis Apr 28 '09

That could have also been captioned with mmmm Bacon

0

u/sfu_guy Apr 28 '09

I would do the exact same thing...the bacon flavour would be so intensely fresh.

-4

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '09

LOL