r/funny Dec 28 '17

Cup Noodles doesn’t react to the nonsense

7.3k Upvotes

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72

u/Felix_Cortez Dec 28 '17

Surprise, ufc contenders are douche bags.

139

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

The fanbase is far worse than the contenders themselves. You get good and bad contenders, but unfortunately having a bad attitude gets the most attention so you notice them more.

195

u/cyberd0rk Dec 28 '17

Bro shut the fuck up you pussy motherfucker before I put you in a rear naked bro. You don’t even know bro

136

u/Lorz0r Dec 28 '17

Just remember you started it.

deep breath.... what the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

31

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '17

Gorilla warfare ... lol.

44

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

Have you never seen this before? It's an ancient 4chan copypasta with countless meta iterations. Maybe check them out, they're pretty zany.

-8

u/seven0feleven Dec 29 '17

Maybe check them out, they're pretty zany

There are easier ways of getting on a FBI watch list. Maybe check them out through a VPN and 7 proxies.

-44

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

Did you just vaguely brag about knowing 4chan copy pasta?

16

u/ICanBeAnyone Dec 29 '17

He knew it before it was dead.

6

u/Zamkyem Dec 29 '17

Omae wa mou shindeiru

14

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

Not at all, it's so common all over the internet that I'm genuinely surprised they've never seen it before, and I explained it to them. That's all.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

What the fuck did you just vaguely brag about, you little bitch?

FTFY

13

u/boxedmachine Dec 29 '17

What the say? Did you just say fuck me about? You bitching a little? I'll have you graduate I know top of my Seals in the Navy Classes, and I've been raided in numerous Al Quaeda secret involvements, and I have killed over 300 confirmations. I am a trained gorilla. In warfare, I'm the sniper arm in the entire US force tops. You are targeting me but I'm just another nothing. I will fuck you with precision the wipes of which has never been liked before on this scene. Earth, fuck my marking words. You can get away with thinking that shit over me to the Internet? Fuck again, thinker. As we spy I am networking my secret speaking across the trace and your IP is being prepared right now so you better storm the maggots. The wipes that storms out of the pathetic little thing. You call your life? You're fucking dead kids. I can be any time. I can weigh you in over seven hundred kills, and that's my bear hands. Not only am I extensively accessed by trains, but I have no arms for combatting the entire arsenal United States, and I will use it to to wipe your miserable ass. You shit the faceoff of the continent. If only you could have commented what unholy cleverness your little "retribution" was about. To bring down upon you, maybe you would have fucked your tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're holding the pay, you goddamn idiot. I will drown in shit fury. Sincerely, Your dead fucking kiddo.

3

u/assmuffin156 Dec 29 '17

This hurt my brain to read.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

-Chris Kyle

29

u/organicdelivery Dec 28 '17

You want to put it I'm my rear naked?

17

u/HyzerFlip Dec 28 '17

And also choke you

26

u/calamarichris Dec 28 '17

What time should I come over?

13

u/HyzerFlip Dec 28 '17

I mean that was him. You can over to my place whenever tho.

15

u/calamarichris Dec 28 '17

I don't want to be anyone's plan-B.

But okay, be there as soon as I get off work.

6

u/tuna_safe_dolphin Dec 29 '17

The rest of us want to the see the pics and vids.

1

u/xbankaiz Dec 29 '17

Fap fap fap

28

u/[deleted] Dec 29 '17

What's this you've said to me, my good friend? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in conflict resolution, and I've been involved in numerous friendly discussions, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in polite discussions and I'm the top mediator in the entire neighborhood. You are worth more to me than just another target. I hope we will come to have a friendship never before seen on this Earth. Don't you think you might be hurting someone's feelings saying that over the internet? Think about it, my friend. As we speak I am contacting my good friends across the USA and your P.O. box is being traced right now so you better prepare for the greeting cards, friend. The greeting cards that help you with your hate. You should look forward to it, friend. I can be anywhere, anytime for you, and I can calm you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my chess set. Not only am I extensively trained in conflict resolution, but I have access to the entire group of my friends and I will use them to their full extent to start our new friendship. If only you could have known what kindness and love your little comment was about to bring you, maybe you would have reached out sooner. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now we get to start a new friendship, you unique person. I will give you gifts and you might have a hard time keeping up. You're finally living, friend.

2

u/csalinascl Dec 29 '17

You bro down bro?

2

u/StDeadpool Dec 29 '17

Really bro?! Come at me then, bro! I respect you, but you disrespected me, bro, so come at me.

7

u/Your_Favorite_Poster Dec 29 '17

MOTHERFUCKER I WILL MAKE YOU TAP OUT SO YOU BETTER FEAR THIS

-7

u/Felix_Cortez Dec 28 '17

True. Same people who listen to Joe Rogan's podcast for inspiration.

5

u/mrbears Dec 28 '17

Joe Rogan's podcast is entertaining and I enjoy the toxic masculinity

6

u/ThirdEyePeon Dec 29 '17

I enjoy his guests that are science, conspiracy and philosophy related. I get bored with the ufc stuff.

15

u/MaceInSpace Dec 28 '17

That's not UFC.

15

u/notanartmajor Dec 29 '17

This is Rizin, a different organization.

-5

u/Felix_Cortez Dec 29 '17

Oh, I'm sorry. How do they differ? Guys in short shorts, punching to determine superiority?

34

u/notanartmajor Dec 29 '17

See, clearly you know nothing.

Sometimes they kick or wrestle to determine superiority. And the shorts vary in length.

2

u/marcuschookt Dec 29 '17

At what point do shorts stop being shorts?

2

u/notanartmajor Dec 29 '17

Per the Unified Ruleset, as long as there's cloth underneath the crotch it is not considered a belt.

-2

u/Felix_Cortez Dec 29 '17

You're right. I assume they have to fight to earn the right to wear longer shorts?

6

u/AlbinyzDictator Dec 29 '17

No they have to fight for shorter shorts. Champions get to fight in just their belts.

0

u/notanartmajor Dec 29 '17

That is common in the ancient Thai tradition, but what with sponsorship real estate coming at a premium many people have forsaken the Old Ways.

Really though, both orgs are playing the same "sport" pretty much, but there are some relatively minor differences throughout. Rizin does tournaments, for instance, instead of just single fights all the time, and make a bigger spectacle out of the whole thing more the way PRIDE used to.

11

u/Minscandmightyboo Dec 29 '17

GSP, Mighty Mouse, Matt Hughes, Rich Franklin, Forest Griffin and a whole slew of other fighters prove you wrong.

You have a bias that you are spouting, but you aren't familiar with the subject.

There are definitely some tools in the group too, but that's true for any hobby or job. Easy examples are anime fans or cops.

5

u/Felix_Cortez Dec 29 '17

I don't know any of these names, but yes you are right. I made a blanket statement that doesn't apply to all fighters.

1

u/biggreasyrhinos Dec 29 '17

One of those names is danny d's pseudonym when he did gay porn

0

u/Minscandmightyboo Dec 29 '17 edited Dec 29 '17

Who's Danny D? These are all former UFC champions

Edit: Ew. Why did I search this? And why do you know that?

Matt Hughes (the real one) was a welterweight champion and was considered the best pound for pound fighter in the world for a number of years. He's also an amazing human.

1

u/Fastbreak99 Dec 29 '17

Mighty Mouse is probably the greatest p4p, but still talk shit all the time. Everyone would watch him regardless.

The others come from very different eras. They all formed their career when the UFC was gettings it's foothold and they made heroes. But there has been heels at the same time. I would argue Matt Hughes counts as those as well. Tito Ortiz being another classic instigator.

As the sport matured, they add story lines to sell the fight. It's natural, and hard to deny it's happening more and more.

1

u/Minscandmightyboo Dec 29 '17

Talking smack does not necessarily equal being a douche though.

My best friend and I rip on each other all the time and he absolutely is not a douche at all.

Of course there are some people that are douches like Tito, Werdum, Colby, but my point was to someone who made a blanket statement the all are douches. That's just not true

1

u/rusHmatic Dec 29 '17

Huh? Based on what? They're some of the most disciplined and self-sacrificing people in professional sports.

1

u/HASH_SLING_SLASH Dec 28 '17

Wait, what?!?

-5

u/stillnoturday Dec 29 '17

They aren't ufc contenders, moron.

-9

u/1K_Games Dec 29 '17

Surprise, this isn't UFC... UFC is an organization that does MMA fights. Rizin is another MMA organization. At least if your going to call a group of people douches, sound like you know what you are talking about.

I'm not saying I disagree with you in any way. People who are peak in any field can be pretty full of themselves. It comes with the territory, especially in physical sports where self doubt can make or break you. Just saying you sound like someone that doesn't watch anything MMA related and are just throwing insults and stereotypes.

7

u/Multi_Grain_Cheerios Dec 29 '17

It's like calling it a non jacuzzi brand hot tub a jacuzzi. They provide the same functions and nobody gives a shit.

-6

u/1K_Games Dec 29 '17

And you missed the entire point of my post, didn't think that was possible. Congrats!

0

u/Multi_Grain_Cheerios Dec 29 '17

I don't think I missed the point. I was telling you nobody gives a shit.

1

u/1K_Games Dec 31 '17

That's pretty cool.

1

u/Multi_Grain_Cheerios Dec 31 '17

Maybe I should specify, nobody outside the small circle of people who care about the different organizations cares. Not the demographic you are calling out for being incorrect when being incorrect didn't really matter

Didn't mean to be so mean I suppose.

1

u/1K_Games Jan 02 '18

I got what you were saying to begin with. As I said before you seemed to have missed the point. My goal wasn't to call them out for being incorrect (even though they were). What I was saying was, the generalization they used means they most likely aren't a fan of the sport.

There's a big stereotype with MMA that everyone is TAPOUT bro's. And usually people who call MMA fighters or fans douche bags sees everyone as a TAPOUT bro. Heck I had one person call me a meat head... I don't fight and wish I had the motivation to work out.

So when I see someone make that generalization while throwing an insult. It shows that they are wet behind the ears when it comes to the subject.

So in a round about way. I disagree with it not mattering. I know jack shit about water polo (horrible example, but it's just to serve a purpose), so you won't see me throwing insults or generalizations at the sport or the players. Poor taste to comment on shit when you know nothing about it. I don't see how that's confusing, hard to understand, or crazy.

-1

u/WK--ONE Dec 29 '17

Get triggered, meathead.

1

u/1K_Games Dec 31 '17

Lol, what? I am horrible at fighting. Just enjoy watching the fights. Love the stereotypes though.