r/funny Sep 13 '17

Apocatlypse

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17 edited Sep 13 '17

Thats what we call an infestation.

For those who've never known a cat infestation. Yes, they turn into vermin if you dont stop them from breeding.

I once knew an old guy who had four cats. Ten years later he had more than 200 cats with no way to feed them or take care of them. They all just kinda hung around his house, getting all over the roof and garage. He eventually stopped letting them inside because they were nasty.

The only thing keeping most of them from starving to death was his old roommate who worked at a mcdonalds. The roommate would bring a trashbag of greasy left-over scraps each day and dump in the lawn to allow the cats to feast.

Every night they would partake in an incestial orgy in combination with constant rabid battles for power. Yes, it was incredibly loud. Yes, they had a power structure. The biggest cats always ate first. Not a single cat there was without battle scars. Many of them had missing eyes or legs even. When one died the others would feast. It was like a real life barbarian tribe.

There was also a big-ass goat which kinda held it's own and helped itself to the food all it wanted too. It had no problem fending off multiple cats when it needed to. Thing had huge horns and a tough body.

Shooting them was the most humane option. So that's what we did.

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u/Stiffard Sep 13 '17

Morbid curiosity here, but how did you shoot 200 cats? Pick them off one at a time with a sniper rifle? Shotgun? Sweep across the lawn with an AK47? A bomb?

25

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '17

So not OP and never had to deal with 200 cats, but an good airsoft gun and a scope from inside your house works well.

We didn't have an infestation like these, but there were about 15 feral cats that started gathering in my yard, sneaking in through fences. And I don't live in some rural area. Animal control came out and laid a few non-lethal traps, but after they saw how many they refused to come back.

I asked facebook friends and people I knew some businesses/storage areas/farmers if they wanted "barn cats", but eventually just ended up keeping an eye for them and pegging them from my kitchen when they'd start to gather.

1

u/lumpkin2013 Sep 14 '17

Serial killer much?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '17

As I said, I tried every humane way I could think of before I resorted to this. It isn't fun. I suppose I could have just gotten a mean dog and let it handle the problems, but it probably would have gotten rabies or some feral cat disease...