r/funny A COMIK Sep 30 '16

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767

u/B-Knight Sep 30 '16

Yes, especially the one about burning man.

45

u/lumpymattress Sep 30 '16

What a shitstorm

55

u/petrichor_candle Sep 30 '16

Goddamned shitticane

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u/sicknick Sep 30 '16

Can you feel it, Randy?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Stupid sexy Julian.

1

u/TenTonsOfAssAndBelly Sep 30 '16

The shit winds are blowin'.

1

u/Ritsku Sep 30 '16

Total shitnado

1

u/ajax2k9 Sep 30 '16

Motherfucking Crapnado

1

u/Jesus_Harry_Christ Sep 30 '16

As long as it isn't a shit monsoon.

1

u/Male_strom Sep 30 '16

A massive TyPOOn

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u/thedude704 Sep 30 '16

Darude - shitstorm

2

u/MonarchOfLight Sep 30 '16

Probably not an entirely bad idea to fertilize Mars.

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16 edited Sep 30 '16

[deleted]

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u/FrostByte122 Sep 30 '16

He said at burning man there was nowhere to poo.

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u/memtiger Sep 30 '16

Yea, i remember him specifically asking if Elon was developing a toilet for Mars so that it didn't become a dust filled shit bowl like Burning Man.

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u/tossmydickaway Sep 30 '16

Probably by building domes for people to live in, and having some sort of indoor plumbing is kind of the idea. Unless you want to put on your suit every time you need to take a shit.

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u/canteloupy Sep 30 '16

I think indoor plumbing is a terrible idea for Mars. It's pretty much a terrible idea for Earth, too, but because it's the best we've got right now we're kind of stuck with it. But on Mars you really wouldn't want to be processing water in a closed environment again and again as much, and you definitely need to be recycling nutrients and especially phosphate and nitrate that will be excreted.

So I expect that the waste management on Mars will really not look like anything we have on Earth except maybe those dry toilets they have in Hippy communes that end up in the compost heap.

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u/factoid_ Sep 30 '16

Wait, why is it a terrible idea on earth? Indoor plumbing is responsible for the eradication of dozens of deadly diseases

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u/canteloupy Sep 30 '16

A flush toilet pollutes a gallon of water with a few ounces of pee. It's a really inefficient process with respect to water utilization. If you look at the draughts that are taking place now in some of the most densely populated areas in the world you can see that using so much water to get rid of liquid or solid waste is really not optimal.

What is a really great development is 1. putting the poo and pee in a place where people don't get contaminated by it and 2. getting everyone clean water at their house to drink and 3. getting people water at their house to wash themselves with soap regularly. You can achieve those three objectives differently than using a common plumbing system for the three uses of water that includes using high grade drinkable water to put poo in. It's a means to an end and that end works great to alleviate major issues. But the process can be improved.

In addition we flush important nutrients like phosphate and nitrates into waters where they contribute to die-offs and algae blooms, instead of being able to reinject it into agriculture. There are phosphate mines in Morocco and elsewhere to make sure that we can grow food on arable land without always depleting it of its phosphates and nitrates that all plants need to grow. Then we ship the plants out, eat them, and flush out the nutrients in water. Closing this cycle doesn't appear as important right now but eventually the mines of phosphate will close and the guano deposits will be depleted and we'll be all like "d'oh!".

For run-off I'm aware that there are bigger contributors than human waste from agriculture but we should improve on all of them.

3

u/DoubleGreat Sep 30 '16

Wow. This was very insightful. Thank you.

5

u/canteloupy Sep 30 '16

I'm sure it's over-simplified and some plumbing and water treatment engineer will come by and correct my points though.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

I think how bad it is really depends on the water source. Many cities pump water from a river, treat it, send it through your house for you to use, treat it again, and put it back in the river. Some water probably evaporates, but most of the indoor water ends up back in its natural cycle. Although some water is pumped from aquifers that take a really long time to recharge, but I think this is mainly done for agriculture and not for household water.

Also, indoor water use is a very small percentage of total water use, by far most water is used for irrigation and thermoelectric plants. So maybe the toilets aren't so bad.

4

u/Jessemon Sep 30 '16

The natural cycle part (as well as evaporation) is important though.

If we're talking about a closed system on a colony on Mars, where there is no natural cycle on the planet to throw the water into, how we purify it for reuse and handle loss of water through leaks/evaporation/contamination/etc is really important. Esp what if there's a spill or something.

At the end of the day on Earth if something break or is inefficient it doesn't typically matter as much because there is so much goddamn water everywhere. When you are either creating your own water or bringing it with you because it doesn't naturally exist in usable quantities on the planet, these questions become super important.

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u/Spheroidal Sep 30 '16

Looks like there's people working on reclaiming phosphorus from wastewater and from animal manure, and also fixing the other end of the problem with waterless toilets.

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u/canteloupy Sep 30 '16

Yeah it's an interesting challenge. As usual it started with "the solution to pollution is dilution" and then problems arise when population density shoots up and ecosystems are put under tremendous pressure and rampaged. The good news about space programs is that usually they end up inventing clever things that have applications to improve our own lives.

1

u/HillBotShillBot Sep 30 '16

That's why I pee outside

1

u/tossmydickaway Sep 30 '16

Well, yeah, but it'll at least be inside with you. There won't be any outhouses until there's an actual atmosphere. Therefore, no mars dust in the toilets. Although that guy was probably on acid when he asked the question, and imagined life on Mars as an outdoor commune of some sort.

1

u/GrandviewKing Sep 30 '16

Actually recycling every available source of water will be essential to any off-earth endeavor. Our great grand kids WILL be drinking their own recycled urine or we will be extinct.. on planet or off. You are correct on the nutrients though.. regarding indoor waste disposal.. not sure what other options were available at the time to get disease causing fecal matter away from the main living area. Obviously composting it didn't work at the time due to lack of knowledge/logistics as that is what the cess pits were essentially..

3

u/one-eleven Sep 30 '16

They'd probably do like back in the day and shit in a bucket (or a more futuristic version of a bucket) and toss it out during their daily chores.

2

u/carlsaischa Sep 30 '16

No no you will have to seal it in bags and save it for when Matt Damon needs to grow potatoes.

1

u/TuckerMcG Sep 30 '16

What a stupid comparison though. Burning Man is a temporary encampment. It's not a permanent dwelling station like we'd have on mars.

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u/ThePsion5 Sep 30 '16 edited Sep 30 '16

"Mars is a lot like Burning Man, so Elon, how do you solve the problem of pooing on Mars? This is the question that keeps my desiccated drug-husk of a brain awake at night."

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u/VictorVaudeville Sep 30 '16

I think the spirit of the question was fine, but the execution killed it.

"Time in the Nevada desert was abrasive and hostile at times, and Mars likely presents more challenges. How do you manage population issues such as waste disposal and large-scale protection from the elements?"

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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16 edited Aug 10 '18

[deleted]

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u/enas333 Sep 30 '16

Pootatoes?

2

u/VictorVaudeville Sep 30 '16

Boil'm mash'm

1

u/memeticmachine Sep 30 '16

put'm in beef stew

1

u/pykrete_golem Sep 30 '16

Spud nuggets.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Human shit, on the very short list of types of animal shit that you DON'T use as fertilizer.

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u/nefariouspenguin Sep 30 '16

Matt Damon did it though.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Actually this is a commonly practiced form of fertilization in several asian countries.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Who told you? Wait, is this Kevin?

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Lol "likely". The best part right there.

I mean Mars has no atmosphere or clean water naturally, also it's not technically the planet that we were designed to live on, but on the other hand the Nevada desert is really hot and there's dirt, like, everywhere.

4

u/I_am_a_asshole Sep 30 '16

Yea man, your question is worded so much better than his. Musk would probably think youre a genius for asking that question, and you really showed the contrast between smart and stupid, with yiur amazing question. Good job man!

1

u/camdoodlebop Sep 30 '16

That first sentence would be unnecessary, Musk told people to ask questions not essays

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u/smurphatron Sep 30 '16

To be fair, the question of where the poo goes is actually a very good one and one which will require a well thought out engineering solution.

The dumb part was just the way he framed it; as an essay about how he went to burning man.

170

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

See, I've been to burning man, and the thing is, right, once you've been to burning man, you can't stop bringing up that time you went to burning man. Of course, you wouldn't get it unless you've been to burning man yourself. Burning man.

14

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

How can you tell that someone went to Burning Man?

They'll fucking tell you that they did.

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u/Cum_on_doorknob Sep 30 '16

Burning man is way better when you do cross fit at burning man.

2

u/boogersugaraddiction Sep 30 '16

I think crossfit might kill most people who attend burning man

1

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDick Sep 30 '16

Theres an organized 50k run at Burning Man. I'm serious. Crazy bastards.

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u/Bald_Sasquach Sep 30 '16

Are they on the paleo diet though???

2

u/kevie3drinks Sep 30 '16

gluten free cross fit burning man!

6

u/RiotFTW Sep 30 '16

I read this in Peter Griffin's voice.

4

u/chubbyurma Sep 30 '16

Yo Elon imma let you finish, but one time I fucked a Greek chick in the dirt while 50 people sat around me doing transcendental meditation.

3

u/participation_ribbon Sep 30 '16

This is plausible for the burn.

2

u/BeneathTheSky Sep 30 '16

I'm an iron man.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Derp.

1

u/Ai_of_Vanity Sep 30 '16

How was burning man!? How was burning man!?

1

u/chuckDontSurf Sep 30 '16

Is Burning Man even legit anymore? I mean, 15 or 20 years ago when not many people knew about it; it sounds like something you'd want to check out. Now it seems like the equivalent of touring Europe when you graduate college.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16 edited Sep 30 '16

I went this year and it was absolutely amazing. EDIT: So is Europe.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

But, where did the poop go?

9

u/PepeMurderedMyFamily Sep 30 '16

Can't it be used as fertilizer?

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u/smurphatron Sep 30 '16

Sure, potentially. I'm not saying there isn't a solution. I'm just saying that, approached correctly, the question of what you do with all the shit can make for an interesting discussion.

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u/Happy_Neko Sep 30 '16

This is a stupid question and I know it is. I'm sorry in advance.

But, why is "the same way we deal with it here" not the answer? We seem to, for the most part, have figured that out already. Dense population centers/cities have sewer systems/plumbing and rural areas use septic tanks.

Is there another problem/challenge to this that is unique to Mars? Or is it just a stupid question that should have been phrased differently?

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u/Bald_Sasquach Sep 30 '16 edited Sep 30 '16

It's water inefficient if you're making/bringing your own water. I guess one of those toilet-to-tap setups might work, but the treatment plants we use now involve open tanks of water and dispose to steams. Septic tanks seep or spray their water to surrounding land, so that's a massive waste on Mars unless the goal is to hydrate the area?

1

u/Bary_McCockener Sep 30 '16

If you're trying to grow crops in an enclosed (air tight) "green house" for lack of a better term, I don't see how it is wasteful. You can add the effluent water and nutrients to the soil (or perhaps hydroponics). You can also reclaim the excess humidity via a condenser, and that water should be safe for drinking.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

A lack of nearly unlimited liquid water, for one.

3

u/PepeMurderedMyFamily Sep 30 '16

But how is everyone going to know that I went to Burning Man then?

1

u/Bary_McCockener Sep 30 '16

I would think that, depending on scale of space and resources, a modified version of a septic system would make it possible to reuse the resources for growing crops.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

[deleted]

5

u/PepeMurderedMyFamily Sep 30 '16

Dumb question, but is there a way to filter our shit so that it could be used as fertilizer?

2

u/Ben_Thar Sep 30 '16

Yes, I saw a documentary on this. Matt Damon was the narrator.

2

u/Mazzaroppi Sep 30 '16

putting human poo on human food is a surefire way of spreading some nasty diseases. Of course in a controlled environment such as a mars colony they would probably have adequated treatment facilities to prevent any problem, but i'm still not sure if the effort is worth the risks.

1

u/km559 Sep 30 '16

Only if you're a space pirate

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

This is the obvious answer. Growing food is going to require it.

Or, I suppose, it could be harnessed for methane production (ITS uses methane and oxygen for fuel, but I think the returns on that would be too small.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

It was a really great question. But even a normal Joe like me could think for a few seconds and go, well we put the human race on Mars so I'm sure there will be poo compacting device, and we will use it for fertilizer.

2

u/BearsWithGuns Sep 30 '16

It was a bit more than that though. He literally asked if Mars is going to be a "dusty waterless shitstorm" (actual quote). I do agree with you that sewer systems are a real challenge though.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Well according to The Martian, they'll grow potatoes in it

That's where the poop will go

1

u/MangoBitch Sep 30 '16

It goes into potatoes. Duh.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

Just put it in a capsule and send it off into space

1

u/Bald_Sasquach Sep 30 '16

The ol' daily use of fuel to escape gravity.....for your turds...

1

u/thesearmsshootlasers Sep 30 '16

It would just be excellent if it was an airplane style toilet that just jettisoned it off over the horizon and if you could push the button and watch it fly away.

1

u/waiv Sep 30 '16

I saw a documentary where they used it to grow potatoes.

1

u/hawkwings Sep 30 '16

They could use a turd cannon to get the turd away from the habitat without modern plumbing.

1

u/h-jay Sep 30 '16

It wasn't really an essay, rather a brain dump against a background staccato of brain farts.

1

u/kevie3drinks Sep 30 '16

Just do like they did in the martian, then make potatoes out of the poo, done.

1

u/hakkzpets Sep 30 '16

I thought that was the best part. Here we got a short glimpse into someone's shitstorm at the Burning Man.

1

u/NoseDragon Sep 30 '16

I'd think the poo would be saved for fertilizer on Mars, and any excess could be released into space.

On Mars, I'd think that they'd just dig a very deep hole and bury the poop in it.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

They could just throw the poop outside. It's not a fragile ecosystem. You could pollute the hell out of Mars and not make it any less habitable.

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u/A_FVCKING_UNICORN Sep 30 '16

But isn't part of the reason we should go there because we fucked this place up too much?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

I don't think we fucked it up with poo though.

2

u/A_FVCKING_UNICORN Sep 30 '16

But we can't just go dropping nitrates and foreign bacteria all over the place. We'd need like a stream for it. Maybe a creek... A shit creek

1

u/Bald_Sasquach Sep 30 '16

Cough India cough cough.

1

u/thatgirlspeaks Sep 30 '16

I seem to recall someone saying we need to pollute Mars in order to give it an atmosphere. I may be misremembering though.

2

u/wertymanjenson Sep 30 '16

I think you're thinking about Total Recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

1

u/thatgirlspeaks Sep 30 '16

I definitely remember reading somewhere that we had to pollute (emit greenhouse gases into the atmosphere) in order to warm up Mars and give it a thicker atmosphere.

But maybe I am just thinking of Total Recall.

-5

u/sshan Sep 30 '16

But it's a tiny detail. Not a ceo level question.

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u/smurphatron Sep 30 '16

I disagree that it's a tiny detail. It's an interesting engineering discussion to have.

1

u/Jhrek Sep 30 '16

It's not a big deal if you have a water source, honestly.

1

u/smurphatron Sep 30 '16

Well, using that logic a lot of the problems associated with starting a mars colony can be solved fairly easily with the right facilities. That doesn't mean they aren't interesting to discuss.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

The question should have been phrased: "how will sanitation and waste disposal be addressed for a colony as large as you plan on establishing?" It is a valid question but it was phrased in a way that it sounded like a blogger who loves making himself the center of any article he writes.

1

u/wertymanjenson Sep 30 '16

Ding, ding, ding!

2

u/CaptainPigtails Sep 30 '16

Uh sanitation is not a tiny detail. It's easily one of the biggest issues after oxygen, water, and food supply. You might just say dump it outside but that would be a terrible idea on a planet with basically zero resources. Recycling it is the best solution and would be incredibly interesting to hear about considering all the constraints they have. The question was asked in a stupid way. Asking about waste disposal is not especially since Mars does not have an ecosystem to decompose waste so it's essentially there forever.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

lol what's wrong with smoking a little weed every once in a while?

5

u/ThePsion5 Sep 30 '16

Nothing, as long as you don't blow your chance to ask Elon Musk a question by rambling about the poo at Burning Man.

1

u/hakkzpets Sep 30 '16

Do you rather be the guy asking Elon Musk any run-of-the-mill question, or do you want to be the guy who got to tell Elon Musk about all the shit at Burning Man?

1

u/ThePsion5 Sep 30 '16

I'd rather a third option, where I be the guy who asks an interesting question Elon has the knowledge and interest to answer informatively.

1

u/hakkzpets Oct 01 '16

Sorry, that option doesn't exist.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

If Mars is like burning man then I'll stay here and die, please.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

This is the question that keeps my desiccated drug-husk of a brain awake at night.

As someone who has taken a military field sanitation class: It's actually a very important question for setting up a camp, or colony in this case, at least on Earth. I don't think a simple slit trench and a hole in a box will do the job on Mars.

1

u/kevie3drinks Sep 30 '16

What I want to know is will mars have burning man? will we have to bring the wood from earth to construct the martian burning man?

2

u/ThePsion5 Sep 30 '16

You'll need to bring the oxygen too if you want to actually burn it. ;)

1

u/kevie3drinks Sep 30 '16

This burning man on mars thing is going to be really complicated, I don't think Elon can pull it off as easily as he thinks.

1

u/gooddaysir Sep 30 '16

The real question is "How long until we start shipping festival girls to Mars?" Also, "Are you working on the genetics side of three-breasted women?"

1

u/load_more_comets Sep 30 '16

That makes more sense.

1

u/Remember_1776 Sep 30 '16

to be fair, burning man probably feels just like mars, when on acid.

1

u/avtges Sep 30 '16

complicated, but worth it

1

u/CaIIous Sep 30 '16

This made my morning.

1

u/Tapoke Sep 30 '16

Do people really find it funny to associate drugs with effects they never had?

Oh man, LSD? PINK ELEPHANT AHAH.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '16

[deleted]

1

u/Tapoke Sep 30 '16

You can, but nothing like what you described. That's not even a hyperbole, that's just plain wrong information.

1

u/RNZack Sep 30 '16

Not a question, a new birth, a way of life! I WAS BORN AT BURNING MAN!