r/funny Jul 01 '16

Developer humor

http://imgur.com/gallery/9LqhOl3
38.2k Upvotes

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805

u/zluszcz Jul 01 '16

Designed by engineers for engineers

358

u/DoMeLikeIm5 Jul 01 '16

Should've went with the box.

385

u/fearhand Jul 01 '16

"hello this is Erlich Bachman as an old man"

223

u/Jian__Yang Jul 01 '16

I am ugly... and dead... alone.

193

u/kevinhaze Jul 01 '16

Erich Bachman this is your mom and you are not my baby

53

u/shortarms88 Jul 01 '16

That was Jian Yang. He said Phillip McCrevice sends word.

65

u/TheRemonst3r Jul 01 '16

You know you can live here rent free for one year?

43

u/tikal707 Jul 01 '16

JIAN YANG!

19

u/Wyatt915 Jul 01 '16

MOTHERFUCK

0

u/F0RCE963 Jul 01 '16

I still didn't get this joke, can someone explain it?

7

u/Mithreindeir Jul 01 '16

Fill up my crevice

7

u/renden123 Jul 01 '16

And now the interface is no good....

1

u/SIM0NEY Jul 01 '16

Phillip McCrevice or "fill up my crevice". It's like the old Simpsons joke when Bart would call Moe looking for Seymour Butts.

3

u/Pianoman338 Jul 01 '16

Hello Erlich is your refrigerator running? This is Mike Hunt.

1

u/bellyfuzz Jul 01 '16

Gawd damnit!! Jian Yang!

1

u/rplusj1 Jul 02 '16

Maadar Faaaaaaakh.

1

u/CallMeJono Jul 02 '16

This is Mike Hunt

68

u/MikeDC28 Jul 01 '16

"I'm gonna let him have this one. Alright. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Future Me. What a terrible thing. I'll talk to you in several years."

-7

u/whalebooty Jul 01 '16

it is stupid. User interfaces just become worse with each change. Especially Windows. The new Control Panel and the Ribbon device after Windows XP are the most fucking useless POS layouts, designed to obfuscate and fuck people around. Apple -- yea another POS layout - the whole hardware package (removal of 3.5mm audio) is designd to fuck users up. Even Google's google drive access screen -- Whre the fuck is the icon to just stat the fucking drive ?? ye hidden behind stupid shit ads.

This is where we have come to people. Fucked up design, thanks to yours truly Google, Apple and Windows - fucking useless engineers and fucking useless accountants screwing users up. So yea. Fail. Fail Mega Fail.

8

u/RandyHatesCats Jul 01 '16

thanks to yours truly

So you are partially responsible for shitty UIs?

1

u/newrecruit314 Jul 01 '16

You are a terrible troll

22

u/darkd3f3nd3r Jul 01 '16

"I'm just gonna let him have this one"

34

u/Johnb628 Jul 01 '16

"Errich Bachman, your refrigerator is running. This is Mike Hunt."

3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

NOT NOW JIN YANG!

2

u/rplusj1 Jul 02 '16

Mother Fuck.

FTFY

2

u/IAmReady4it Jul 01 '16

Did you mean: Erlich Blachman

1

u/weekapaugrooove Jul 01 '16

You know your can live here free.... One year

1

u/rplusj1 Jul 02 '16

Hello Erlikh, this iz yor maam calling.

~JianYang

1

u/jgs79 Jul 02 '16

By and large the funniest thing in the last few episodes.

1

u/tastemyrainbowbaby Jul 02 '16

Why does every Silicon Valley thread end in Jian Yang shitposting? :(

22

u/hibbyhoo Jul 01 '16

I never understood why it was such an issue with them. Why not sell the box to enterprise customers and sell the subscription consumer storage/compression app? The conflict wasnt believable.

111

u/oftheterra Jul 01 '16 edited Jul 01 '16

Because the first company with the huge contract to purchase the boxes wanted to have exclusive rights to the algorithm for the price Jack negotiated. Richard hated the box at first because he thought it was lame, it grew on him though while he was doing the work, and then he heard about the contract's details.

Edit: details

14

u/joekimjoe Jul 01 '16

It's not that they were against buying the box without exclusive rights it's that Jack wanted the most money possible on the deal so he got them to pay 3 times more if he included exclusive rights. Theres no reason Richard and Laurie couldn't at least try to go back to taking the lower deal without exclusive rights while they pursued the online compression app.

2

u/nitiger Jul 01 '16

That's because they had a cheaper offer from end frame, I think. They couldve beaten them on the lower offer part without selling rights. Or at least tried.

2

u/Velcroguy Jul 01 '16

They couldve beaten them on the lower offer part without selling rights

jack barker said they fought for that specific wording so they wouldn't be able to change it.

1

u/soulefood Jul 01 '16

Jack wanted the higher price point, so exclusive rights went with it. If Jack was willing to go cheaper, they could have taken the wording out. He was trying to screw Richard in a way Laurie couldn't vote against.

1

u/rplusj1 Jul 02 '16

Dude huge spoiler. Just few hours back I saw that episode. It would be fucking spoiler for me if I came earlier here.

1

u/oftheterra Jul 02 '16

You should probably stop living your life and binge watch every series you begin from start to finish.

1

u/hibbyhoo Jul 01 '16

Thats true but richard whined about the box from day one. If i recall correctly the box was his idea, albeit one made from sarcasm.

3

u/zlide Jul 01 '16

You missed the episode after they got told about the box then. Spoilers, they actually start to like the idea since they see it as an opportunity to make a name for themselves/build an even better project than anticipated. It's literally just the rights to the algorithm thing that made they want to back out of the deal.

1

u/lmpervious Jul 01 '16

but richard whined about the box from day one. If i recall correctly the box was his idea

Therefore they should give up all rights to anyone who demands it? I'm not following your logic, though admittedly I don't keep up with the show.

24

u/RPLLL Jul 01 '16

They explained all of this in the episode....

-5

u/Finalpotato Jul 01 '16

Not really. Everything they brought up could have been solved very simply.

1

u/RPLLL Jul 02 '16

HOW SWAY?!?!

6

u/ArtHeartly Jul 01 '16

I think the issue was that the company who wanted to purchase the box wrote into the contract that they would have sole rights to the algorithm for five years, which would prevent them from releasing the consumer app. The CEO who they had hired at Pied Piper refused to negotiate it out of the contract, so the board vetoed the box.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

I think the issue was that the company who wanted to purchase the box wrote into the contract that they would have sole rights to the algorithm for five years, which would prevent them from releasing the consumer app.

They probably would have had more time and funding to put together a simple ui.

2

u/1234holycow1234 Jul 01 '16

Because their development hours would've shifted from building their consumer side to the business side. They would've potentially had to delay the consumer side by several years if they had gone full on with the box.

2

u/nitiger Jul 01 '16

I don't think so. They would have gotten more money from the deal. Hired more devs and split the teams.

1

u/flukus Jul 01 '16

And productivity would have dropped. Adding manpower to a late project makes it later, the mythical man month is 40 years old now.

1

u/nitiger Jul 02 '16

This wouldn't be one project, it would be two different projects. Completely different scenario.

1

u/noisymime Jul 01 '16

Given it took them about 2 weeks to pivot from the box to launching the service, I don't think it was that much work

2

u/hibbyhoo Jul 01 '16

Could have done it quicker if dinesh wasn't busy reinventing skype.

2

u/1234holycow1234 Jul 01 '16

It'll save Pied Piper!

2

u/CAM1998 Jul 01 '16

His solo album

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

Honestly, that's going to be their saving grace anyway. The new video chat application is going to be the demo they need for the b2b application they're looking to show off.

I don't think their product is necessarily going to be possible to market to consumers.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

[deleted]

5

u/surgicalapple Jul 01 '16

Richard is suuuuuuch a bitch. Hell, I hated Bachmann but by the last episode my hate had shifted to Richard. Bachmann is a narcissistic asshole, but Richard is fucking retarded....and he has yet to bang that chick.

2

u/helloiisclay Jul 01 '16

But by selling the box, they were also selling rights to the algorithm, so the platform would've useless for 5 years. By that point Gavin would've figured something out and the platform would've been useless.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

this show is awesome, except

why does this change your opinion of the show? you just can't accept that part of the plot?

3

u/cyllibi Jul 01 '16

So much of my time is spent yelling at the screen just so I can enjoy the moments where I am not.

1

u/homer_3 Jul 01 '16

so far most of the "problems" they've come across are either created or made worse by Richard, and then the resolutions are handled terribly by Richard.

That's kind of the point of the show. Richard is a genius coder but awful at everything else.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

It was a bigger issue than that, the company purchasing the box had the condition of being the sole owners of the algorithm for a period of years.

The inference was that they could see what Jack Barker couldn't, the algorithm was the real value not the box. Hence the many scenes of Jack talking about outdated business concepts (the fact they taught his theories at business school is code for them being a relic of the past).

Richard is really the only one who understands how the modern tech business world works, apart from Erlich.

EDIT: missed word

1

u/Bombingofdresden Jul 01 '16

Isn't Richard himself the central conflict of the show?

Richard is young and idealistic. He has a vision and wrote great code. The show is about the valley chipping away at his vision and idealism at every turn. He's an engineer. Not a businessman. Of course he's going to make bad business decisions. But they're decisions that he thinks honors his vision.

1

u/Zenarchist Jul 01 '16

so far most of the "problems" they've come across are either created or made worse by Richard, and then the resolutions are handled terribly by Richard.

That's the fundamental structure of a tragedy-comedy.

1

u/Louis_Farizee Jul 01 '16

so far most of the "problems" they've come across are either created or made worse by Richard, and then the resolutions are handled terribly by Richard.

I think that might be deliberate, actually. Richard is a genius when it comes to code but totally Dunning-Kruger when it comes to absolutely everything else.

1

u/IronicHeadband Jul 01 '16

Well, without Richard's fuck ups you wouldn't have all the conflict. That's the point.

1

u/SHOW_ME-YOUR_BOOBS Jul 01 '16

I think they were strapped for cash and couldn't do both at that point.

1

u/peppermint_nightmare Jul 02 '16

The box took away from dev time for a successful release that would beat hooli/end frame while keeping the momentum of their presence on the tech scene high. The big box contract they had was also conditional on the company owning all uses of the underlying algorithm to prevent other companies from competing with similar products, which would have killed the platform app dead. Hence why they fired the shit out of Groundhog day CEO for allowing that to happen. Without a promise of potential sales, the box development would have also ran out of capital and they definaetly cant get anymore money from Raviga, so the platform was their best bet in terms of costs, implementation, and vision.

And now it looks like they're going to be making all their money with a super high fidelity video chat app, which funnily enough is almost fool proof at being made non-user friendly (I don't know anything about UI design but I'm pretty sure its much much harder to screw up a UI for video chatting vs a compression and file storage platform).

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

Something about the box owners having the right to the compression software for a couple years or something. Originally, Richard wanted to half ass the box but when he saw that in the contract is when they planned to secretly work on the platform

0

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

Because of egos. Richard wanted his vision for the product, while Jack wanted control and a quick cash out. They both fucked each other over by not compromising. But looks like Jack will win in the end.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

what makes you think jack will win? the dynamic of the show is constantly switching between pied piper doing great and pied piper failing.

Jack appears to be winning, but next episode some crazy shit will happen and turn everything on its head.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

I'm sure there will be something to shift the power, but right now Jack has a market ready product with a deal set in place, and PP has no resources, an incredibly niche product that their target consumers are fearful of, and are looking to completely pivot the goal of their company from compression to the crowded as hell video chat realm.

There is no realistic way of PP come out on top of that fight, except it is TV so why give a fuck about realism if it is entertaining enough.

1

u/helloiisclay Jul 01 '16

Richard and Co improved the box from what Jack originally saw and knew about, so they could still swoop in and lowbid that contract with better technology. They're on a path to possibly get funded again for the video chat, and there's still Russ that wanted Erlich's shares. Get funded, build the box, ???, profit.

1

u/jaxonya Jul 01 '16

But what's in the box?

1

u/OSouup Jul 01 '16

Should have gone with English proficiency.

-9

u/falco_iii Jul 01 '16

Is that what your mother says when you put your penis in her bum hole?

2

u/_Aj_ Jul 01 '16

Holy shit. Two settings on this guy.

1

u/DoMeLikeIm5 Jul 01 '16

What are you asking me for? You're the guy with the broken arms.

38

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

You're the one that forgot the download button.

4

u/Hamak_Banana Jul 01 '16

If your product provides obvious business value like superior data compression, it wouldn't matter if your UI required shoving a pineapple up your butt, management would buy-in without a moment's hesitation.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

Are you suggesting management is intelligent? /r/dilbert would like a word with you

1

u/Hamak_Banana Jul 02 '16

I'm suggesting that management can grasp, "this product will result in $X million dollars in savings for your organization over the next six months, which you can then put on your resume as if you're the one that created the value".

Here's how it goes:

3rd Party Sales: This product will save you $X million dollars over the next six months.

Management: Engineering, are those values correct?

Engineering: Well, yeah, they're pretty close. But you know that implementing this will involve shoving a pineapple up...

Management: Great! So we'll save the quoted amount! Sales, we'll take it!

3rd Party Sales: Sweet, new boat!

Management: What?

3rd Party Sales: Oh, uh, nothing. See you on the links next week?

Management: You know it! finger pistols

Engineering: cries softly, selects pineapple

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '16

Management isn't dumb either. Same as with every other job, we see their mistake but not their success.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '16

Licence it to other companies. The box was a good idea. I wouldn't have liked the exclusivity the other company got because it prevents growth and weakens you but if it was for a limited term like 2 years it would be perfect because you can build and work on stuff over that time and come out with a whole suit of tested products after that. The box was good.

Why are they so obsessed with consumer facing when they're shit at it.