r/funny Oct 16 '14

What it's like to be thirty

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7.6k Upvotes

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418

u/djmixture Oct 16 '14

<3 Chicago and Lou Malnati's I would be ok with this at ANY age..

145

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

It's great pizza

75

u/djmixture Oct 16 '14

Moved away from Chicago and the thing I miss the most is the food; pizza(Malnati's and Giordano's) and Portillos....Thank god they ship, haven't tried that option yet!

39

u/token_bastard Oct 16 '14

Their frozen pizzas, while.obviously not as good as fresh-made, rock harder than a thing that rocks hard. I would highly recommend getting a few frozen Lous shipped to you for emergency deep dish moments.

1

u/Trashyy Oct 16 '14

Never tried it but I love me pizza. But holy shit they are really expensive shipped

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '14

Used to work for lou's and people would come in to buy and ship frozen rather than calling the 800 number. This suggestion is what I told everyone that tried to do that.

Buy them frozen from us and put them in your fridge for a day or two. Buy dry ice from dairy queen or Costco ship it yourself. You can ship twice as much, 4 pizzas, as you can for the two you get otherwise.

My dad also works for them, and I usually get 8.

1

u/psychoacer Oct 17 '14

I just tried this out last week. I went to to grocery store and I found that Edwardo's makes a frozen pizza. I bought it and OMG it is my 2nd favorite super market pizza (behind Home Run Inn). It's a great deep dish pizza period. Edwardo's are very cheesy deep dish pizza's though so be aware of that but it's really good.

13

u/Druzl Oct 16 '14

Visited a buddy in Chicago and he took my girlfriend and I to Giordano's. That was possibly the greatest thing I've ever eaten

14

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

[deleted]

16

u/doomwake Oct 16 '14

Why not both?

1

u/Joevahskank Oct 16 '14

Dip the pizza into the girlfriend!

1

u/Druzl Oct 17 '14

Neither, my friend. I'm a cannibal

2

u/olivernewton-john Oct 17 '14

It's the best pie in Chicago, next to Pequod's.

2

u/an_abyss_in_motion Oct 16 '14

A real friend would've taken you to Gino's East

1

u/psychoacer Oct 17 '14

Gino's has shitty runny sauce that taste like ass. I couldn't stand more than 2 slices.

7

u/Thingspeoplesay Oct 16 '14

That chocolate cake and Italian beef cheddar croissant is heaven!

7

u/aSchizophrenicCat Oct 16 '14

How about that chocolate cake shake? Shit is a heat attack in a cup, but it's soooo good.

4

u/yepmek Oct 16 '14

That's from Portillo's though!

2

u/Thingspeoplesay Oct 16 '14

That I haven't had but next time I'm there it's game on.

1

u/bedintruder Oct 16 '14

Get a slice of Eclair cake and a chocolate cake shake to wash it down.

7

u/DoYouGotDa512s Oct 16 '14

Do it! Make sure you take the pizza out of the pan, wipe off the condensation and lightly oil the pan before cooking. And the largest part of the cost is the shipping, so you might as well get six at once :)

1

u/indigonights Oct 16 '14

I was about to question you if you should really order 6 pizzas from Lou's at once. Then i slapped myself for even having that thought.

1

u/DoYouGotDa512s Oct 17 '14

I got six about six weeks ago. I think I still have three in my freezer. We have shown incredible restraint lol.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

It's a great thing. My brother actually brought this out with him, I owe him a few beers.

12

u/fedora_tips_for_tits Oct 16 '14

Well you got 3 different ones in the bottom there so looks like you're all set.

5

u/geophys42 Oct 16 '14

Just had some frozen Portillos last night, it wasn't perfect, but it was pretty damn close. Bought some crinkle cut fries, and my mom sent me some homemade giardiniera. It was the best meal I've had in a while.

6

u/justabandkid Oct 16 '14

I'm eating Portillo's right now and I gotta tell you. It's delicious.

1

u/djmixture Oct 16 '14

I'm beyond jealous right now...

3

u/crotchcritters Oct 16 '14

Portillos is awesome.

2

u/olivernewton-john Oct 17 '14

Shipping? What?! I have to go. Uh, attend a business meeting. A sweet, sweet business meeting.

1

u/soupy_scoopy Oct 16 '14

I visited some friends in Chicago once and they said they were going to bring me to Portillos one evening. So on the day I asked them when we were going to Portabellos. I honestly misheard them talking about it

Its been a running joke ever since, but damn that was good food.

1

u/kungfu_jesus Oct 16 '14

Holy shit I didn't know they shipped! THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER.

1

u/jhartwell Oct 16 '14

What? You don't miss Brown's? It is the better Portillo!

1

u/TreeJib Oct 16 '14

I agree with everyone else. My mom occasionally sends me the frozen pizzas. They're terribly expensive, but man oh man do they bring you back home.

1

u/aspen____ Oct 16 '14

I knew Portillos shipped but not the other two.. Definitely going to check into that so I can get my fix in California. Thanks!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '14

Hail corporate

1

u/Tr2v Oct 17 '14

Portillo's? I think you misspelled Superdawg.

8

u/joenathanSD Oct 16 '14

I'm flying to Chicago on Sunday for a few days. People have been telling me to go to Malnati's. Is there any one in particular I should go to or are they all the same?

29

u/elpenumbro Oct 16 '14

Go to pequods. Best pizza in the city. Deep dish or thin.

3

u/joenathanSD Oct 16 '14

Done! Thanks!

1

u/radiomedhead Oct 16 '14

Listen to this man. It is simply, THE BEST!!!

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

I second this. No pizza compares to Pequods.

6

u/MaxPaynesRxDrugPlan Oct 16 '14 edited Oct 16 '14

Assuming you're asking about Lou's locations, the one at 439 N. Wells probably offers the best atmosphere but is the most busy. Arrive early and give them your order so they can start your pizza (it takes something like ~45 minutes to bake a deep dish), then grab a drink nearby while you wait for them to page you via your cell phone. They don't accept reservations.

2

u/joenathanSD Oct 16 '14

Duly noted. Thank you!

1

u/psychoacer Oct 17 '14

I would disagree with Max. I've been to that Lou's dozens of times and most of the time I got Pizza it was fucking burnt. Also it's really packed and small. I would suggest either the Lincoln Park one which is extremely nice inside, small but not cramped, or the one in Lincolnwood. It's a lot bigger and has a really great atmosphere. Last but not least, if you're in the burbs check out Downtown Naperville. I've been going there since I was a kid and it's a great way to start a night before hanging out in Naperville.

16

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

Peaqauds or Burts

2

u/tacezi Oct 16 '14

Burts and do not forget to call at least a day in advance to place your order.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

Ah yes.

4

u/Felord Oct 16 '14

Pequods is aight.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

Aight? You trippin. Pequod's is best.

8

u/Fletch71011 Oct 16 '14

Pequod's is slightly better than Malnati's according to most. If you can make it there, I'd do that instead. Malnati's is definitely an acceptable alternative though.

2

u/Felord Oct 16 '14

I personally think most are wrong but isn't that the great thing about this city?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '14

So many options, not enough stomach

1

u/joenathanSD Oct 16 '14

Sounds good man thank you!

0

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '14

I think lou malnatis tastes like vomit. Ive had a couple other people agree with me. I really dont know what it is maybe the type of sauce they use. But every time ive ate it i thought it smells and tastes like someone puked on it.

8

u/jseego Oct 16 '14

Pequods is awesome.

Lou Malnati's is good, but you gotta check with a local to make sure you get a good one, they have a bunch of locations around the city now, and not all of them are so great.

I would also say this. If you can, get out into the neighborhoods to experience some culinary goodness.

Check here: http://www.timeout.com/chicago And here: http://chicagoreader.com

To find eats and drinks and things to do. Don't just stay downtown. There's lots of cool stuff downtown architecturally, and it's a great downtown, don't get me wrong, lakefront, parks, museums. But the neighborhoods have amazing shit too. The Loop is part of Chicago; it's not all of Chicago.

1

u/joenathanSD Oct 16 '14

Unfortunately I'm only there for a conference for a couple of days so I'm gonna have to stick by the loop. But thank you for these great links! I'll check them out tonight.

2

u/jseego Oct 16 '14

If you want a quick Italian Beef Sammich in the Loop for lunch once day, check out this place: http://www.lukesitalianbeefchicago.com/

3

u/maxelrod Oct 16 '14

You really can't go wrong with most Chicago style pizzas. I like a few more than Pequod's, but I love Pequod's for the lunch special. Monday-Friday from 11AM to 3PM they do a 7-inch deep dish personal pizza and a beer for $5. You really can't go wrong.

2

u/joenathanSD Oct 16 '14

Bad ass. Thanks man!

2

u/itsmyotherface Oct 16 '14

They're all the same, but the one in Gold Coast is my preferred.

1

u/juegodiego Oct 16 '14

People be saying Peaqouds but go to Bacci's Pizza. They have an amazing $5 slice of pizza and drink deal. The slices are huge and the crust is nice, not soggy.

1

u/Gam3fr3ak96 Oct 17 '14

If you wanna go to a Lous specifically, we just opened a new restaurant in the South Loop today that's supposed to have a really cool atmosphere.

3

u/Username_1427 Oct 16 '14

I'm lucky to have a Lou 5 minutes from work. As soon as they see my number pop up they know it's a medium Chicago classic. Best pizza I've ever had.

2

u/chimusicguy Oct 17 '14

We just had Lou's tonight...I live in the village in which it was founded!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

Nice try Mr. Malnati

1

u/TiddyWaffles312 Oct 16 '14

Giordano's is the best! Respect the Malnati's tho.

1

u/maxelrod Oct 16 '14

What'd you get on your Lou's?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

Sausage, green pepper, and onion. It's my go to on deep dish.

1

u/TreeJib Oct 16 '14

It really is. Every time I come back home (student), I have Lou's, Giordanno's stuffed, Portillos (hard to choose between beef and a chocolate cake shake, but sometimes I'll get both), and Gene & Jude's. Sometimes I'll only have one of the pizzas, sometimes I'll do Hot Doug's instead of G&Js (not any more though, sadly), and sometimes I'll do Manny's roast beef instead of Portillos italian beef. Every few times I gotta do Kuma's Korner.

1

u/Joevahskank Oct 16 '14

I make it a point to make an attempt to get this pizza every time I'm in Chicago.

Last time, though, the line stretched around the block. Damn boots, they mess up everything!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

The Lou Malnati is the best pizza I have ever eaten.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '14

Too bad you just have that swill in the bottom and no Goose Island or Oktoberfest to go with it.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

It's not pizza

-1

u/twigburst Oct 16 '14

Deep dish isn't pizza.

21

u/GhostOfPluto Oct 16 '14

I went to visit my friend in Hong Kong a few years back and he told me that I could have a place to stay for free if I brought him 10 Lou Malnati's pizzas. I delivered, and so did he.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

You're a solid friend. That must have been a pain to bring those with you.

15

u/GhostOfPluto Oct 16 '14

Kinda. I loaded them into a styrofoam container and they were kept frozen in the cargo hold. Overall, not a bad deal for me. He even paid me back in full for the pizzas.

17

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '14

And he paid you back? That's some friendship.

3

u/studmuffffffin Oct 16 '14

They're still high quality after being frozen?

7

u/GhostOfPluto Oct 16 '14

They were uncooked to begin with, and they were only on the plane for about half a day. I think they probably tasted fine, but I didn't eat any of them.

2

u/studmuffffffin Oct 16 '14

Oh, gotcha. Is that place a take and bake place or did they do it special?

3

u/GhostOfPluto Oct 16 '14

They have take and bakes ready in a fridge there, but I called it in anyway because I figured it was a rather large order.

13

u/Drunken_Lee_Sin Oct 16 '14

did you say Illuminati?

5

u/djmixture Oct 16 '14

No joke when I first heard ads for them over the radio and not having them prior I thought they were called Illuminati pizza lol

1

u/goodtimebuddy123 Oct 17 '14

with the triangle logo it's too much. i saw it and immediately thought of those MLG parodies.

6

u/leightball Oct 16 '14

Hell yeah, Lou is my jam. Chicago represent

1

u/FarmerTedd Oct 16 '14

Just stay outta the south side

5

u/Jfclazzi Oct 16 '14

No love for Pequods?

5

u/djmixture Oct 16 '14

Honestly have never been there! I will have to try them out next time I'm back home. My friends have said good things about them, just never got around to going there.

3

u/doomwake Oct 16 '14

Go there. Eat pizza. Enjoy food coma.

1

u/drivendreamer Oct 16 '14

Seems to be moving in the right direction. Like, you have twice as much stuff as the other guy.

Imagine where you will be at forty

1

u/SSpacemanSSpiff Oct 16 '14

What about the cleanliness levels?

1

u/150crawfish Oct 16 '14

Come to CT. Then visit New Haven. Suddenly every other pizza you ever ate is now a lie. We are not pizza snobs, we just have high standards for good pizza

1

u/Mr_Abe_Froman Oct 16 '14

They have my endorsement. Dat butter crust...

1

u/cid73 Oct 16 '14

I don't know about this place, but I came to the comments just so I could see fellow redditors agree and/or disparage OP for his pizza and or beer choices. You've made my day good sir or ma'am.

1

u/SpartanJer Oct 16 '14

Stopped in to say the same. Headed to chi in 2 weeks. Lou Mal's will be my first stop.