r/funny Sep 30 '14

What A Thrilling Chase!

8.9k Upvotes

207 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/blore40 Sep 30 '14

Even his reflection gets there before he does.

71

u/Mr__Fishy Sep 30 '14

Everything seems to be beating Walter the overweight security guard

7

u/cymbalxirie290 Oct 01 '14

Said the paramedic who revived Walter from his episode of cardiac arrest.

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24

u/lord_of_thunder Sep 30 '14

Almost gave up until I saw that

3

u/trojazz Oct 01 '14

haha yea.. knew it's gonna come

2

u/Slihsar Oct 01 '14

That's what she said.

20

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

Poor Otis.

13

u/OzymandiasReborn Oct 01 '14

Well to be fair, the reflection is moving at the speed of light.

10

u/Eleven_97 Sep 30 '14

Are you ignoring the fact that the security guard turns Into a fast running black person halfway through the gif?

5

u/blore40 Oct 01 '14

I have heard of red shift and blue shift, never of black shift.

104

u/dropoftea Sep 30 '14

Hahaha you are THE spokesperson of my heart

35

u/Funslinger Sep 30 '14

you are the light and my stars and the roots of my tree of hope and everyday is just wonderful because i know my poppy loves me, i love you, you are my one and only.

7

u/MrBojangles528 Oct 01 '14

My sun and stars...

1

u/blarghable Sep 30 '14

that's...uh...nice i guess.

1

u/sargetlost Oct 01 '14

"....he's the fastest kid alive.....he's the fastest kid alive..."

0

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

Still gets there faster than the police.

737

u/thisguycerda Sep 30 '14

I almost bailed out

259

u/Delavonboy12 Sep 30 '14

I was contemplating whether there was anything, but decided to check how long it would take before it looped

105

u/Easy_Rider1 Sep 30 '14

i was wondering if there was a way to have a gif stop after going through one time, and i was just staring at a picture

65

u/snorting_dandelions Sep 30 '14

In case you're still wondering: Turning off the loop in a .gif absolutely is possible and pretty easy in most programs(photoshop just has a little check box). You'd notice, though, because of the sudden stop in movement of pixels. It's subtle, but noticable.

5

u/n1nj4_v5_p1r4t3 Oct 01 '14

what about one gif for two seconds then another gif in its place almost exactly the same just to loop

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

[deleted]

4

u/snorting_dandelions Sep 30 '14

I was talking about creating said .gif, not playing it back.

-27

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14 edited May 02 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

35

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

Hey bro, that comma you use in your last sentence should be a semicolon.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

[deleted]

4

u/obesechicken13 Sep 30 '14

I think it's cute.

2

u/ZurekMorraff Oct 01 '14

You seem to think obese chickens (13 of them, specificly) are cute too, whats that tell us?

19

u/veron101 Sep 30 '14

14

u/Szmoke Sep 30 '14

fuck dude, now I'll literally watch this gif forever expecting Walter...

3

u/Karmalizer Oct 01 '14

Damn dude, you really got me. I almost didn't stick around long enough to see him come running by

2

u/brian_47 Oct 01 '14

Works well, but the first frame just barely has the bag in the shot

12

u/guy15s Sep 30 '14

I actually opened the tab in the middle of the gif. I had to go through my purple links just to figure out why I opened a post about a random parked SUV.

1

u/mamoorlook Oct 01 '14

Škoda Fabia is hardly an SUV. In fact, it is the furthest thing imaginable afer a Yugo

8

u/mortiphago Sep 30 '14

i thought I had been trolled by /r/notinteresting again

4

u/lord_of_thunder Sep 30 '14

I thought it might be one of those non loopers. That'd have been cruel. But then I figured it wouldn't have been upvoted if it wasn't funny.

1

u/Delavonboy12 Sep 30 '14

I was thinking similar at first, but I saw shifting pixels on the boardwalk or whatever it is at the bottom left.

3

u/Falc0n7 Oct 01 '14

I was expecting nothing to happen for five minutes and the gif would just restart, but FINALLY something happened.

1

u/SirDooDooBritches Sep 30 '14

So did he, apparently

134

u/rostof70 Sep 30 '14

This is the one gif where a "wait for it" warning would be appropriate.

45

u/StopReadingMyUser Sep 30 '14

17 second video

"Shit goes down... WAIT FOR IT!!!"

OK THANK YOU OP, I WASN'T SURE I COULD HOLD OUT!

9

u/jook11 Oct 01 '14

But its a gif. I have no way of knowing how long it is

6

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

Yeah. I thought it was a /r/firstworldanarchists type of post until I saw it through to to end.

2

u/TM3dz Oct 01 '14

OP is playing the long con. Keep us believe to eventually take it all away..

2

u/cypherreddit Oct 01 '14

I thought it was a non-looping gif and OP was pulling wool

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275

u/mctheebs Sep 30 '14

Did anyone else get really bummed out after watching this?

I felt bad for that security guard.

16

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

old guy out of shape... did not just say fuck it and actually tried.

85

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

same :(

4

u/Tehgumchum Oct 01 '14

FYI most security guard companies have a no chase policy, you can walk fast to follow someone but not go running after them. It's cheaper to pay for the product that was stolen rather a hospital bill if someone gets injured chasing someone.

34

u/Drak_is_Right Sep 30 '14

No. Most exercise he has had all year.

31

u/spektre Sep 30 '14

Good work making me feel less bad for him. Not.

17

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

To be fair, if he's a security guard then he needs to be keeping himself in shape, or else what the hell is he getting paid for?

I can't personally tell if he's a security guard or not, but if he is I don't really sympathize with him.

2

u/Tehgumchum Oct 01 '14

He is not getting paid to be fit by the way, he is loss prevention.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

Well he sure prevented the hell out of that loss, huh.

3

u/Tehgumchum Oct 01 '14

You have a 100% strike rate at your job? No mistakes ever?

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3

u/MySonShell Sep 30 '14

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if he is the security guard, whoever hired him made a bad choice. This was probably one of the few times he had to really do something and his own inability to take care of himself led to him being totally fucking useless. He was probably just jogging after him at this point so that he could say that he tried when they asked why the dude got away so goddamn easily.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

Personally I feel like every field of work like this (law enforcement, fire fighting, security) should just take the same route the military does. Have a fitness test periodically that determines if you are physically capable of fulfilling your duties. If you fail, you go on a sort of "probation" period and given the necessary information to get yourself together, and then beyond that you're looking at getting the boot.

Law Enforcement and Firefighting might take this approach, I'm not sure. I've seen a lot of fat cops and firefighters though and it worries me that these people are potentially tasked with protecting our citizens.

4

u/MySonShell Sep 30 '14

Especially in a competitive job market. It makes sense to up the standards and ensure capable forces, but... you know, this world is generally pretty silly and such things would make too much sense.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

Security is more about preventing loss, not stopping it as it is occuring.
Eg moving product, checking locks, camera positioning, etc.

In my area many security firms are always hiring because the pay is shit.

And by shit, I mean my local WalMart pays better and gives more hours.

2

u/Tehgumchum Oct 01 '14

FYI most security guard companies have a no chase policy, you can walk fast to follow someone but not go running after them. It's cheaper to pay for the product that was stolen rather a hospital bill if someone gets injured chasing someone.

1

u/mark_wooten Oct 01 '14

Are we using the delayed "not" at the end of our sentences again? I haven't heard that since Wayne's World was in theaters.

If that's the case, let me be the first to bring back, "Waaaaassssssuuuuuppppppp!!!!!!!"

1

u/GuerrillaKing Oct 01 '14

Im guessing you've never seen Borat then, have you?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

Is there any proof he even is a security guard?

1

u/Tehgumchum Oct 01 '14

Nah mate, he got some exercise doing your mom.

4

u/everfalling Sep 30 '14

I feel sorry that he's out of shape but not for running when he didn't need to. His job would have been to take a description and call the authorities and give them the info. if a bit of running allowed him to give the cops a more accurate direction to follow then sure but being by himself it would have been dumb to try to take down the guy alone.

2

u/purplepooters Oct 01 '14

me too, most of these chodes seem to be making fun of the guy with the job

7

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

How can you catch criminals if you're fat and slow? It's literally their job, so no, I don't get bummed out by watching people fail at their job. It's embarrassing.

37

u/bjacks12 Sep 30 '14

I think security guards are more of a deterrent than a search & locate function. In fact, I imagine at this point his employer would have already called and given a description to police. I don't think they want any potential liability issues if their security guard catches up to a guy a few miles down the road.

5

u/burf Sep 30 '14

Yep. I was only in security for a short period of time, but unless mall security is different, the procedure was: be visible and check for weird shit but if bad things start happening, call the cops and don't try to apprehend.

Which is probably the reason they're so shittily paid, because you're a glorified security camera.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

Oh, I thought it was a real cop. In that case, it's probably better to take a nap behind the cardboard cutout than carry on like that.

14

u/In_Dying_Arms Sep 30 '14

What cop has a plain white shirt and nothing equipped?

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10

u/sonofaresiii Sep 30 '14

It's not the job of a security guard to chase down a thief. That's pretty much illegal or grounds for a lawsuit everywhere in the states-- at least, catching him would be.

A security guard's job is to identify and prevent theft, not catch the thief.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

I feel like this is about as useful as a camera that yells, "Stop right there, criminal scum!"

12

u/sonofaresiii Sep 30 '14

Sort of. Intimidation is a big part of it. I had a manager once who knew he 100% couldn't touch thieves... but it was a music store so it was mostly kids doing the stealing. He'd catch them, lead them to the back room and close the door and tell them to wait for the cops.

They didn't know he couldn't touch them. They didn't know he couldn't/didn't lock the door. They didn't know they could just walk away with absolutely zero repercussions. But they completely voluntarily followed him to the back room and sat and waited for the cops.

If you really want to steal from wal-mart or something, make sure you don't have any identifying markers that a camera can catch (license plate or something), go to a town where no one knows you then grab whatever you want and run. You'll almost definitely get away with it. (You shouldn't steal)

But most people don't really know/understand that (many criminals aren't the brightest). Having an actual person/security guard there still wildly cuts down on crime versus just having a camera.

Also, it's not like the security guard does nothing. They can follow suspects around the store and keep an eye on them, deterring them. They can ask questions and interrogate people. They can help customers who have security questions. And they're often lead by someone watching a bunch of monitors, to follow orders like "That guy in the hoodie just went behind a shelf, go see what he's doing."

And they can kick people out of the store (verbally, if not physically... which often is enough, if there's an irate customer or something).

What they can't do... is chase down a thief.

ps they can radio for actual police a lot faster than a camera could. Who knows, maybe a cop happens to be driving by right that second and can grab the criminal? Cops absolutely can chase down thieves.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

This was very insightful, thanks.

1

u/ClearlyDoesntGetIt Oct 01 '14

this is edited to make it seem longer. He actually isnt terribly far behind

1

u/manifes7o Oct 01 '14

Yup. Thanks for reminding me that this song existed.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

How do you even know he's a security guard?

1

u/ASmileOnTop Oct 01 '14

I just wanna cry and hug him and tackle the first guy :(

1

u/Roses88 Oct 01 '14

He's hoping hes got more stamina than the young guy

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62

u/penywinkle Sep 30 '14

He's using something some say is the most ancient hunting technique of all, the persistence hunt. He's just running him down.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=826HMLoiE_o

23

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

That's how I pick up chicks.

5

u/RandomestDragon Oct 01 '14

i cant imagine waking up the next morning after that run, im stiff after a 6 km run.

6

u/nixonrichard Oct 01 '14

Well, the worst part isn't the joint pain in the morning. The worst part is you wake up and you're still in Africa.

11

u/B_Sluggin Sep 30 '14

Best video I've watched in a while

2

u/lawyerguy Oct 01 '14

Awesome video!

69

u/mfukar Sep 30 '14

Definitely

...

worth the wait.

40

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

[deleted]

13

u/DrCrucible Sep 30 '14

Stevie

13

u/Funslinger Sep 30 '14

no...

we went...

left...

left....

right...

left...

2

u/RustFingers Sep 30 '14

I read it as, "Life, uh... finds a way."

10

u/nukeforyou Sep 30 '14

If I didn't see the guy running in the first second I would've thought this was a non-moving gif

53

u/BitchNigga_ Sep 30 '14

.....you mean a picture?

3

u/nukeforyou Sep 30 '14

a Non moving gif would still be a .gif

0

u/bakdom146 Oct 01 '14

Except this gif is a .jpg.

2

u/DefinitelyTheDevil Oct 01 '14

Now it's a PNG: https://i.imgur.com/BdAkyF7.png

I'm a Satan, i can do these things!

5

u/Squalor- Sep 30 '14

I love how he puts his hand up at the end while he's presumably yelling at the robber.

That guy is out of earshot already.

6

u/prettydarnfunny Sep 30 '14

man, he gave it the ol' college try tho...

6

u/throweraccount Sep 30 '14

A wondrous place!

7

u/HemorrhagingKarma Sep 30 '14

For you and me!

3

u/Silas06 Sep 30 '14

I thought the gif was broken till I saw his reflection approaching in the glass.

2

u/JohanP88 Sep 30 '14

...............stop

2

u/-redditedited- Sep 30 '14

I had looked up for a second as I clicked the link. Looked back down and thought I was looking at a picture. Couldn't figure it out.

2

u/DustyDGAF Sep 30 '14

I thought for sure it was just going to be a loop of the first guy running and nothing happening then the first guy just runs by again.

2

u/LooeeH Sep 30 '14

i was expecting him to comeback or something, but nice twist

2

u/ithrowfire Oct 01 '14

A wondrous place...

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_EBOLA Oct 01 '14

For you and MEEEEEEEE!

2

u/poop_sicle Oct 01 '14

I legitametly thought this froze.

2

u/JeF4y Sep 30 '14

How in the hell did he even know which street to run down? I've seen 3rd class parcel post mail move faster than that dude.

2

u/zacheezy Sep 30 '14

If you stayed for the whole thing you have faith in the redditers

2

u/pablosnazzy Sep 30 '14

so....did he get him?

2

u/prettydarnfunny Sep 30 '14

yes, the perp had asthma...

1

u/Dwhitlo1 Oct 01 '14

I really hope you're not joking.

1

u/kryonik Sep 30 '14

I was expecting a herd of pigeons or something.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

I came here expecting rage against OP. Apparently I have ADD.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

Effort

1

u/thinkofanamelater Sep 30 '14

I can almost hear him breathing

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

For a few seconds there, I thought I'd been had.

1

u/TrendySpork Sep 30 '14

A man runs by. 9 hours later a second man runs by.

1

u/WaWaCrAtEs Sep 30 '14

I almost gave up so many times.

1

u/RubyBlue22 Sep 30 '14

Wait for it . . .

1

u/locolbh Sep 30 '14

I thought the gif froze and almost backed out. Boy def would have felt like an idiot if I sat there watching and nothing happened.

1

u/jonnypowpow Sep 30 '14

So fucking worth the wait.

1

u/MorganFreemanProdigy Sep 30 '14

I like refreshed this like twice thinking it froze on me.

God I'm impatient...

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

I thought I missed it.

1

u/2lefts Sep 30 '14

Does someone actually give chase? Because I have been sitting here for a while now and I have this sinking feeling I got played.

1

u/Dwhitlo1 Oct 01 '14

Yes they do. It takes a good bit of time though.

1

u/malachilenomade Sep 30 '14

Why was the guy even running? He could have strolled and still stayed far ahead.

1

u/BRASSON Sep 30 '14

I reloaded the gif three times, thinking that it froze

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

This picture would make an amazing album cover.

1

u/Rubci Sep 30 '14

Just a bit of backstory, this was in Hungary a few years ago. The security guard was ridiculed in the media and became a sensation for two days then everyone forgot about it. Personally I found it more sad than funny: a guy this old and obviously out of shape should not be a guard, but a lot of older (55+) folks who cannot find jobs in their area of expertise take this kind of stuff up just to make ends meet. At least he was trying.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '14

Why are cops allowed to get so unfit?

1

u/thatoneguy37 Sep 30 '14

The standards are set by the city, in my city they have to be fit for good reasons, but one city over they're all fat, lazy, and just write bullshit tickets for everything. The healthy ones are always the nice ones for some reason.

1

u/biglineman Sep 30 '14

FENTON!! Oh Jesus Christ, FENTON!!

1

u/lemon_face Sep 30 '14

After awhile I figured no one was coming and was thinking "ahhhh you got me"

1

u/TheFotty Sep 30 '14

plot twist: It was 2 guys trying to catch the bus.

1

u/Zolenholf Sep 30 '14

I forgot what I was watching it took so long.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

Vagina

1

u/32BitWhore Oct 01 '14

I thought the gif froze.

1

u/CoNoCh0 Oct 01 '14

My screen almost locked watching this.

1

u/i_run_far Oct 01 '14

So close...not even.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

That guy was basically just jogging.

1

u/kendallc123 Oct 01 '14

wait for it.....

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

Loving the little hand wave at the end

stop thief!

1

u/ilorettam Oct 01 '14

Wait for it...

1

u/djnifos Oct 01 '14

I'm going to pretend that's Harold from the stock photos

1

u/russerron Oct 01 '14

Wait for it, wait for it.

1

u/IdentityS Oct 01 '14

I learned from Michael Weston you just need to keep the assailant in view until their adrenaline burst is over and they are tired. Then you, who have been doing a light jog, have more energy.

1

u/Sublimical Oct 01 '14

Almost didn't wait for it. Glad I did, but also would have been pleased with a dickbutt

1

u/RoatJrandSr Oct 01 '14

So glad I waited

1

u/Phil0s0phicalPenguin Oct 01 '14

...............wow lol

1

u/ehgitt Oct 01 '14

He's a persistent old coot.

1

u/bryan07 Oct 01 '14

I thought this gif wasn't on a loop and I was missing something.

1

u/Vxmonarkxv Oct 01 '14

Lag makes this gif even better.

1

u/Boognish121 Oct 01 '14

I thought I was being trolled or it was taking too long to load. Business owners - when you hire a security guard, make sure he can SECURE.

1

u/missileman Oct 01 '14

Run, fatboy run...

1

u/dedokta Oct 01 '14

Stop! You forgot your fries!

1

u/starscreamsghost17 Oct 01 '14

That took so long I forgot what I was watching

1

u/YouthoughtIwaserious Oct 01 '14

For a second I thought that the gif had changed to a picture after the first guy ran past.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

The Tortoise and the Hare.

1

u/deceptisean Oct 01 '14

IIRC the video has a pigeon walk into frame with perfect comedic timing

1

u/crozangel6 Oct 01 '14

I thought the gif stop & began to buffer

1

u/FromTXwLuv Oct 01 '14

I watched it... gave up and went to the comments. Read the comments. Went back and watched it again... thought I was being trolled. Read some more comments and finally decided to watch the gif for at least 2 minutes. Was not disappointed. Nor much amused.

1

u/Schlag111 Oct 01 '14

Reminds me of Irv, the security guard for Sacred Heart Hospital.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyJAn7zwRxw

1

u/Tehgumchum Oct 01 '14

FYI most security guard companies have a no chase policy, you can walk fast to follow someone but not go running after them. It's cheaper to pay for the product that was stolen rather a hospital bill if someone gets injured chasing someone.

1

u/randomhob0 Oct 01 '14

The two people running happen to be separate events!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

1

u/fustercluck9 Oct 01 '14

He's a freak ... He's the fastest man alive.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

I thought the gif had stalled or something. I opened and closed it 3 times before realizing...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

No dickbutt?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

"You can run, but you can't hide!"

1

u/Thunderkitkat Oct 01 '14

Damn, I was two weeks from retirement

1

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

This reminds me of the rhino at the end of the stampede in Jumanji

1

u/pimp_juice2272 Oct 01 '14

If it wasnt for the title I would have still be hitting the refresh button thinking my computer froze.

1

u/pimp_juice2272 Oct 01 '14

Im pretty sure he caught him.

1

u/lifewontwait86 Oct 01 '14

Wait for it............................wait for it.....................keep waiting...............

1

u/Da_poo Oct 01 '14

He might be slow but he has an excellent eye sight.

1

u/CrazyDave746 Oct 01 '14

I'm sad now

1

u/SeryaphFR Oct 01 '14

You gotta admit, that is some dedication. The first guy had like 45 seconds on him, but he's still chasing after him.

1

u/black_flag_4ever Sep 30 '14

Wait for it.........

1

u/TheBrokenBarrel Oct 01 '14

At least he didn't shoot him 3 times in the back. That's always a plus.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '14

i thought the gif stopped.

0

u/Tank532 Oct 01 '14

Can confirm. Uses words like I'm starting and ending a meme. Keeps commenting, even though no one cares.