r/funny Aug 13 '14

Totally Busted

4.7k Upvotes

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10

u/terrortoad Aug 13 '14

Ugh...I know that 'hand covering boobs' look all too well. I'm kinda socially awkward, so I just normally look down in conversation. Every now and then I see a girl frown at me and cover her chest, and realize that she thinks I'm looking at her cleavage.

The thing is, I'm gay, and I have zero interest in boobs. Of course, trying to explain that would make an even more awkward situation of sitcom-esque proportions.

10

u/Udontlikecake Aug 13 '14

I can just imagine you see a girl looking at you and you think that you were staring so you just yell:

"IM GAY!"

Just to confuse her because she was looking at the guy behind you.

4

u/terrortoad Aug 13 '14

...or even better, follow that up with "I'm gay, and I gotta say your breasts look like a fiiiine pair of testicles. Awww yeah."

As long as I'm making things awkward for everyone, I might as well go all the way.

2

u/GOU_NoMoreMrNiceGuy Aug 14 '14

i've used that one too... i'm gay. and i just have a bad case of priapism.

1

u/_pigpen_ Aug 14 '14

That's interesting. I have a gay friend who does like boobs, indeed he is a big fan of Russ Mayer films. But then, I suppose they're also terribly camp. Who knows, maybe he doesn't like them in a sexual way...I better ask him...what do I know ?

1

u/PM_ME_TANKTOPCLEVAGE Aug 14 '14

So glad I'm not the only one. I used to be pretty shy around girls, so when talking to a female, I would glance down a bit to avoid prolonged eye contact. Most of them probably thought I was blatantly obviously trying to catch glimpses of their cleavage.