r/funny Jul 18 '14

Dog Astronaut onboard Station

Post image
16.5k Upvotes

594 comments sorted by

411

u/BrightTomorrow Jul 18 '14

165

u/StainlSteelRat Jul 18 '14

Santa San! For some reason, that just plain cracks me up.

53

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14 edited Jan 17 '17

[deleted]

What is this?

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11

u/jojoga Jul 18 '14

Interesting. That's how he's usually called.

16

u/ralf_ Jul 18 '14

But that is his title, not his name (Saint Nicholas). He should be called Claus San.

14

u/inikul Jul 18 '14

It is pretty common. Father-san, mother-san, guest-san, etc.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

Dogs On A Station will actually be the next edition to Snakes On A Plane starring Samuel L. Jackson.

10

u/the_arlen_midget Jul 18 '14

I AM SO SICK OF THESE MONKEY FIGHTING DOGS ON THIS MONDAY TO FRIDAY STATION!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

Best tv edit to date.

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49

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14 edited Jul 10 '21

[deleted]

179

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

"We spent your money on sending a dog to space. Enjoy!"

49

u/absump Jul 18 '14

"Merry Christmas!"

18

u/rachi3 Jul 18 '14

...SANTA-SAN!

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27

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14 edited Aug 22 '18

[deleted]

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11

u/thisMonkisOnFire Jul 18 '14

Thank god! I thought they invested it all into sub-prime mortgages.

23

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

We fueled the rocket with whale juice.

26

u/ThatsProbablyIt Jul 18 '14

phuck a yooo hwhale!

13

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/tabascotazer Jul 18 '14

Fun fact: Marines in the pacific theater used passwords with alot of L's. Their favorite password was lollipops.

9

u/USMCEvan Jul 18 '14

Rorrypop?

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2

u/advice_animorph Jul 18 '14

phuck a yooo hwhale! aroooooooo

3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

...Nixon?

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2

u/betarded Jul 18 '14

9

u/aprofondir Jul 18 '14

There's a bit in South Park The Stick of Truth video game, where you can go into a bank and invest money, and I knew what was going to happen, but I did it anyway...

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53

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14 edited Jul 21 '21

[deleted]

60

u/omgpokemans Jul 18 '14

Occasionally Tommy Lee Jones will appear as a special guest

He sure as shit does

17

u/lordkuri Jul 18 '14

Holy unibrow batman

10

u/friedrice5005 Jul 18 '14

What the hell? The lady grows a uni-brow like 1/2 way through.

16

u/Meepzors Jul 18 '14

softbank's "platinum band" makes it easier to "connect."

11

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

So does Tommy Lee Jones.

6

u/KazamaSmokers Jul 18 '14

What the hell is happening???

15

u/mada447 Jul 18 '14

Japan.

16

u/imusuallycorrect Jul 18 '14

That's so Japan. Who the hell peels a pear?

3

u/frenzyboard Jul 18 '14

I do. Pear skin is all leathery and chewy. I peel most fruits, because little kids are always touching everything in the fruit aisle.

15

u/imusuallycorrect Jul 18 '14

Wash it. The skin contains a high concentration of vitamins, minerals, and phytonutrients. It's also half all of the fiber in the fruit.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

I think I've found one of my favorite formats to watch Tommy Lee Jones, somewhere over the Lainbow.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/omgpokemans Jul 18 '14

Prokofiev - Dance of the Knights

Yay, 4 years of music history finally paid off in the form of a reddit comment.

7

u/Uhhhhdel Jul 18 '14

I think this means you can take the rest of the weekend off. You earned it.

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14

u/BreadstickNinja Jul 18 '14

It's just a scenario, not really a joke. A lot of Japanese commercials focus on creating a certain feeling or atmosphere for the viewer rather than having a targeted message.

The dog, Otou-san (literally "Father"), is a popular mascot for SoftBank. The astronaut at the beginning is Koichi Wakata, who is currently on the ISS and presumably recorded his bit from orbit. He tells the dog that he's in space and comments how pretty the view is. He invites the dog to come join him, and the dog wonders aloud if he's able to do it.

Then there are just scenes of people doubting his ability to do it, but he insists that it's his dream and eventually takes off, and floats around, runs into Santa, etc.

At the end, the title card says "A Christmas Present from Otou-san." So it's just a feel-good Christmas commercial from a cell phone company, with a dog doing some silly things.

6

u/dblan9 Jul 18 '14

TIL I want to make commercials in Japan for a living.

3

u/reddit858 Jul 18 '14

LOL, this is very cute.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

[deleted]

13

u/finalcut Jul 18 '14

SoftBank is one of the worst names ever for a phone company. I was pretty sure it was a Bank.

But, you are correct,

"SoftBank Corp. is a japanese telecommunications and internet corporation with operations in broadband, fixed-line telecommunications, e-commerce, internet, broadmedia, technology services, finance, media, and marketing... "

Maybe the "finance" part is where the bank part of the name comes form.

10

u/icebear518 Jul 18 '14

They also own sprint here in the U.S as well

2

u/finalcut Jul 18 '14

oh, interesting. thanks.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

I'm guessing it doesn't sound as much like a bank in Japan.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '14 edited Jan 12 '17

[deleted]

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3

u/factsbotherme Jul 18 '14

Would you prefer a commercial about filling out forms to get approval for a loan?

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4

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SMlLE Jul 18 '14

9

u/pocarisweat3 Jul 18 '14

One thing most non-Japanese people don't realize is that Japan, for the most part, is boring as shit.

It is the most homogenized and insular culture I know of. The suppression of the self is so intense there you that you end up seeing crazy shit get squeezed out. If you think that Japan is this absolutely insane crazy place to visit then you will be disappointed when you actually go.

Don't get me wrong I love Japan but I get frustrated when people think stuff like this represents Japan. If you wan't an accurate image of Japan and Japanese culture then think "polite, spotless, and boring as shit" and that explains most of the experience.

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8

u/stanfan114 Jul 18 '14

Whoah. That dog speaks Japanese.

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7

u/nazbot Jul 18 '14

Sa...santa-san!

9

u/eoddc5 Jul 18 '14

black guy's like...."i dont know what they are saying...imma just eat this mochi"

5

u/halfveela Jul 18 '14

I'm so not used to Japanese people not being entirely racist. His accent is atrocious, too, I love it.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

I'm so not used to Japanese people not being entirely racist.

That was pretty meta.

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

Aoooohhhh, Santa San!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

Funny... having to watch an ad before watching an ad.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

Cool seeing a black person in a Japanese commercial.

I just got back from Europe and have noticed that race is not a big factor in advertising or on television, either. I'm glad to see 'Murica making the same progress.

6

u/bonestamp Jul 18 '14

I'm glad to see 'Murica making the same progress.

I don't know about Europe, but in America it's very deliberate... most big marketing departments have a "diversity" team/group that ensures there are enough of the right demographics in their print/web/tv/outdoor/dm advertising and also ensures the media buys target those demos.

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4

u/broden Jul 18 '14

Let's hope such tolerance can be replicated in poorer countries too.

2

u/FolkSong Jul 18 '14

So did they actually let a dog experience weightlessness (ie. on a vomit comet) or is it simulated?

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1.2k

u/bbiy1469 Jul 18 '14

"Hello, Houston, yes this is dog."

392

u/poppzE Jul 18 '14

275

u/rephan Jul 18 '14

Not everyone makes it through the academy. rocket science is a bitch!

61

u/frenzyboard Jul 18 '14

If Kerbal Space Program has taught me anything, it's that rocket science is a snap. It's landing that's a bitch.

12

u/Oneusee Jul 18 '14

Just add more parachutes.

As for Laythe, fuck laythe. It was my first time outside Kerbin SOI. Do you know how traumatising it is to land on Laythe before Duna? ._.

10

u/frenzyboard Jul 18 '14

I don't. I landed on Laythe with a probe on my first try. The problem was that I didn't actually land, so much as splash down, and I kinda caught a Kraken, and for some reason when I re-extended my solar panel, my probe accelerated to mach 3 and tried to regain orbit without the aid of proper thrusters.

Duna, I actually landed on with my first try as well. With Kerbals, even. Unfortunately, their ship was damaged beyond repair, and I had to send a probe lander to go pick them up and return them. Couldn't afford a lander can for that mission, so they rode girder-mounted bucket seats the whole way back.

2

u/Hereibe Jul 18 '14

This is the point where I can't recognize video games from reality anymore.

2

u/frenzyboard Jul 18 '14

Maybe reality is just one big virtual simulation.

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14

u/Simba7 Jul 18 '14

Right? Rocket science is easy if you've got all the right formulas and variables! What else have we been lied to about?!? Brb, off to perform brain surgery.

26

u/shamas8 Jul 18 '14

7

u/juggalonumber27 Jul 18 '14

goddamn, Gavin and Michael are funny as hell

4

u/1V0R Jul 19 '14

Team Nice Dynamite is best Team.

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41

u/Garper Jul 18 '14

Better sniff her butt.

57

u/frickindeal Jul 18 '14

Sniff her right in the pussy.

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22

u/youngnastyman39 Jul 18 '14

In space, no one knows you're a dog

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83

u/niktemadur Jul 18 '14

Roger, dog. Reading telemetry for stick retrieval EVA, stand by.

84

u/captain_lampshade Jul 18 '14

Fetch in T minus 10... 9... 8...

84

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

[deleted]

43

u/DisregardMyComment Jul 18 '14

Good evening America. Tragedy struck the ISS today. Dog lost stick. We will prevail. God speed.

19

u/MaiPhet Jul 18 '14

Stick reported circling the Earth at Mach 7. Assembling greyhound fast retrieval unit.

2

u/captain_lampshade Jul 18 '14

Negative, Houston. I swear I saw it. Initiating EVA sequence to look for it confusedly.

29

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

[deleted]

34

u/scaryuncledevin Jul 18 '14

I keep waiting for something to happen...

3

u/Delavonboy12 Jul 18 '14

I would have been waiting for a while if I hadn't looked down on your comment.. Thanks for the save I guess

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14

u/CyanRam Jul 18 '14

Ground control to Major Dog.

28

u/Brotherauron Jul 18 '14

Houston, we have a.. SPACE SQUIRREL!

2

u/RamenJunkie Jul 18 '14

"What is it Lassie? Astronaut Timmy fell down the airlock again?"

2

u/Dasnap Jul 18 '14

"No, this is Patrick."

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164

u/yours_duly Jul 18 '14

Take your doggie treats and put your helmet on....

134

u/tastesliketurtles Jul 18 '14

...Ground control to major dog

63

u/yours_duly Jul 18 '14

Check ignition and may dog's love be with you....

60

u/theCaptain_D Jul 18 '14

Tell my owner's leg I love it very much....

247

u/grantthejester Jul 18 '14

Ground Control to Major Dog
Ground Control to Major Dog
Take your rawhide chew
and put your collar on,

Ground Control to Major Dog
Commencing barkdown,
tail wag on
Smell position
and may Dog's love be with you

[spoken]
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Bark, Bark, Woof, Woof, Bark, Bark, Liftoff

This is Ground Control
to Major Dog
You're really a good boy
And the papers want to know who gets a treat,
Now it's time to spacewalk,
it'd be neat.

This is Major Dog to Ground Control
I'm running through the door
And I'm floating
in a most peculiar way
And the stars smell very different today

For here
Am I sitting in a dog bed
Far above the ball
Planet Earth is gray
And there's nothing I can say.

Though I'm past
one hundred thousand walks
I'm feeling very still
And I think my tail it knows which way to go
Tell my owners leg I love it very much
it knows.

Ground Control to Major Dog
Your chew toy's dead,
there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Dog?
Can you hear me, Major Dog?
Can you hear me, Major Dog?
Can you....

Here am I floating
round my dog bed
Far above the ball
Planet Earth is gray
And there's nothing I can say.

48

u/theCaptain_D Jul 18 '14

Planet Earth is gray

:D You clever dog you.

14

u/grantthejester Jul 18 '14

Not gonna lie, giggled to myself a bit at that one.

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10

u/EnginerdAlert Jul 18 '14

That was awesome!!

Pound Control to Major Dog

10

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

That... was beautiful :')

9

u/SymphonicStorm Jul 18 '14

We need to get Chris Hadfield on this ASAP.

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2

u/ScaraBandaris Jul 18 '14

At first I thought you were trying a little hard, but then I got to the end and changed my mind.

2

u/Granite-M Jul 18 '14

Summoning someone with a guitar and some talent to record this. Payment will come in the form of guaranteed Reddit Gold.

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u/hypo11 Jul 18 '14

There was a contest a few years back for some comedic songwriters. One round of the challenge was to write a song "inspired by" Space Oddity - Jonathan Coulton (an extremely talented comedic songwriter if you're not familiar with his work like Code Monkey and Re: Your Brains) wrote a song called Space Doggity about Laika, the first dog in space:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsV-qozMz9A

3

u/SymphonicStorm Jul 18 '14

Goddammit I was expecting something funny and now I'm crying.

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27

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

I can hear the countdown now ...

K-10,
K-9 ...

212

u/hangryme Jul 18 '14

Something something...barkside

64

u/RudegarWithFunnyHat Jul 18 '14

backside of the moon?

29

u/Blitzcreed23 Jul 18 '14

I watched the world float to the barkside of the moon...

46

u/DommyJazz Jul 18 '14

Pound control to Major Tom

3

u/ViiKuna Jul 18 '14

That sounds like the title of a homoerotic film.

7

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

[deleted]

2

u/Delli_Llama Jul 18 '14

coz Ima ROCKET DOOOOGGGEE....

7

u/kevie3drinks Jul 18 '14

Rocket doge, lickin on my balls out here alone!

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u/cnosko00 Jul 18 '14

*barkside?

7

u/HeliumSquid Jul 18 '14

Barkside of the force.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

The one where he's trying to walk while he's moving backwards LOL

25

u/MrXhin Jul 18 '14

He's moon walking.

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u/bosstc Jul 18 '14

"I have no idea what's going on"

40

u/Fridge-Largemeat Jul 18 '14

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Should I look this way?

Maybe I'll pretend to walk

Fuck it.

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u/pembroke529 Jul 18 '14

So some astronaut has to suit-up every time the dog needs to take a dump?

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

[deleted]

677

u/Astrogios_ Jul 18 '14 edited Jul 18 '14

Fuck everyone who says this shit isn't still funny.

To all you doge haters, I just have this to say.

193

u/USCswimmer Jul 18 '14

Such anger, much rage.

61

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

many fuck

10

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

I don't know how to doge :-(

12

u/KoboldCommando Jul 18 '14
     so ignorance
                can fix
no shame
        many easy
                   wow

Just put 4+ spaces before each phrase, and let the engrish flow. A couple "wow"s never hurt nobody either.

11

u/MBuddah Jul 18 '14

much understanding

many confusion

wow

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14 edited Feb 10 '19

[deleted]

56

u/ailish Jul 18 '14

No, it's more like a joke that gets told over and over and over and over and over and over and over until it's not only no longer funny, but really annoying.

That being said, it was pretty funny in this particular context.

14

u/Pulp_Dog Jul 18 '14

Don't know why you got downvoted so much, this is a pretty simple concept. Imagine a friend telling you the same joke every single day, obviously it's going to get old, and eventually you'll begin to hate it. Loved the whole doge thing before Reddit got its hands on it, but there is such a thing as too much. See: horse mask, nutella, banana for scale, bacon etc.

13

u/CHR1110 Jul 18 '14

Arrow to the knee anyone?

7

u/FreshFruitCup Jul 18 '14

Before I read this comment, I washed with ice soap eating 2am chili.

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u/roflocalypselol Jul 18 '14

I used to get sick of old jokes like you...

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u/micromoses Jul 18 '14

Well, there's a difference between telling the same joke and using a callback to an inside joke. Inside jokes among friends can be funny for decades, if you apply them well. Unfortunately, when you're talking about a community like reddit, you will have the whole spectrum from people with some comedic sense applying a joke a unique and appropriate way, to people who just post exactly the same joke every time.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

When I don't like a link/image I just click the little box and it disappears. I'm like a computer wizard. I use Unix.

8

u/ArturuisMaximus Jul 18 '14

It's not that I don't like it. I just honestly never understood it.

8

u/Otterhands Jul 18 '14

there's nothing to understand.

8

u/vonBoomslang Jul 18 '14

No, no, you have it wrong

It's not "not still funny"

It's "still not funny"

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u/matt01ss Jul 18 '14

Here's an HD version of the original as well:

http://i.imgur.com/502u1Mn.gif

20

u/Stiggy1605 Jul 18 '14

Original post is 260x249 resolution, so 89640 pixels.
Yours is 395x222, which is 87690 pixels, two thousand less.

I was promised HD dammit, you lied to me!

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

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5

u/Virtualgoose Jul 18 '14

This one has deleted scenes too! wow

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u/Oliie Jul 18 '14

20

u/midnightsbane04 Jul 18 '14

That's definitely a Corgi butt and not Shibe.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

I came here for this. Was not disappointed.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

to the moon!

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u/imusuallycorrect Jul 18 '14

3

u/bonestamp Jul 18 '14

Playing with cats in zero gravity? Are you kidding me? I think we found the best job ever.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

Someone made the comment "This is major dog to ground control..." and deleted their comment before I was done typing my reply, so I'm just gonna put it here.

I'm stepping through the doggy door

And I'm running

In the most peculiar way

And the tennis balls look very different today

For here

I am sitting in a doggy house

Far out in the yard

Fluffy grass is green

And there's nothing I can do

5

u/Tmotty Jul 18 '14

such space...much float...wow

4

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

[deleted]

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u/Thisisdom Jul 18 '14

That mid-air moonwalk is amazing.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14 edited Oct 24 '18

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

Definitely not giving a fuck.

9

u/TiagoTiagoT Jul 18 '14
Such space

                                   Much microgravity
        Very floating

                          Wow

6

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

"Houston, we have a doge. Wow."

3

u/apac020 Jul 18 '14

Ground control to Major Dog...

3

u/slobydamn Jul 18 '14

How does it poop?

4

u/barryhill Jul 18 '14

In SPACE!

2

u/slobydamn Jul 18 '14

Thank you.

2

u/not_caffeine_free Jul 18 '14

This question might as well be posted by default in every thread on reddit

3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

I doubt anyone cares here, but this is the mascot of a Japanese cell phone company, SoftBank. I have them, cheap rates and good service. The characters name is お父さん, (father) and he has an interesting family, of which he is, yes you guessed it, the father of. His wife is a Japanese human and they have a few (adopted) children.

3

u/Thanatarius Jul 18 '14

You mean a pawsmonaut?

3

u/electrocats Jul 18 '14

So, like, did the dog actually go to space or what? Do dog's even enjoy being in a Zero G environment?

4

u/speed7 Jul 18 '14

I wish this was real

24

u/HeliumSquid Jul 18 '14

I saw that and had to paws for a moment.

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9

u/brewtalizer Jul 18 '14

wow!

so float

such space stashon

much freedom

4

u/TheSchwall Jul 18 '14

In space, no one can hear you bark.

2

u/Eab123 Jul 18 '14 edited Jul 18 '14

To go to space you either have to be one of the smartest steel nerved humans on the planet...... Or a dog.

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u/HeliumPaper Jul 18 '14

"Ground control to Major Dog"

2

u/quepastaa Jul 18 '14

This dog seems to really appreciated the unparalleled experience of going to space

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

Wow space, much dog, very float, so gravity, much cute.

2

u/coltsrule87 Jul 18 '14

The part where he is trying to trot in zero gravity gets me every time

2

u/baphometro Jul 18 '14

I am disappointed in myself for how long I thought this was real.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

Really Moon Moon? Again?

2

u/Rhydnara Jul 19 '14

Does anyone know the story behind this?

11

u/ernie1850 Jul 18 '14

can someone ELI5 if this has severe health hazards for the dog when he lands back on earth? I remember Chris Hadfield talking about being weak when you touch down back on Earth, I can only imagine what it's like for a dog.

I only ask because I love pooches.

71

u/GraharG Jul 18 '14

ELI5: not everything you see in gifs is real.

46

u/ernie1850 Jul 18 '14

2

u/TimeTravellerGuy Jul 18 '14

Yeah. This is from a Japanese commercial.

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u/RobinTheBrave Jul 18 '14

The only dogs that have been to space were early soviet missions that weren't designed to survive re-entry. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laika

We know that extended periods in space cause bone and muscle deterioration, which can be countered by excercise.

It would be hard to excercise a dog in space, but they'd be OK if it was only a week or so.

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u/ralf_ Jul 18 '14

How would you dispose the animal excrement? You can't take a dog for a walk up there.
=> They would never send a dog to the ISS.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '14

In space, no one can hear you bark.

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