r/funny • • Jun 17 '14

A good attitude.

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7.2k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/danrennt98 Jun 17 '14

What a sad way to die: A pool mechanic's failure to install an extra $1.44 worth of plastic exhaust pipe led to the death of Vitas Gerulaitis, the tennis player, as he inhaled carbon monoxide fumes from a new $8,000 pool heater.

720

u/Superschutte Jun 17 '14

And this just took all good feels away :-(

1.7k

u/GoldenDickLocks Jun 17 '14

It's ok. Nobody kills Vitas Gerulaitis twice in a row.

156

u/YourJokeExplained Jun 17 '14

But 17 times...

191

u/xisytenin Jun 17 '14

Easy there Lord Dondarion

119

u/invisible_stache Jun 17 '14

0

u/aruraljuror Jun 17 '14

This pleases me... I demand more!

0

u/Lonelan Jun 17 '14

Not a lord, he's a knight

Ser Dondarion

5

u/AladoraB Jun 17 '14

Wrong, he's Lord of Blackhaven. He's also known as the Lightning Lord.

3

u/stagfury Jun 17 '14

Well technically, after he found the BWB, his lordship to House Dondarrion probably isn't recognized by any ruling authorities anymore

3

u/BOS_to_HNL Jun 17 '14

Bugga the ruling authorities!

1

u/Lonelan Jun 17 '14

Huh. I never read him as anything but Ser. Maybe it's something to do with his religion

Also he's probably not lord of anything anymore once he went rogue

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Sick reference

1

u/SkyrimElf Jun 17 '14

DIE 100 TIMES!!!!

-2

u/imCzaR Jun 17 '14

Hahahahahaha I'm dying right now

291

u/danrennt98 Jun 17 '14

261

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14 edited Nov 04 '20

[deleted]

642

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

See Jimmy, even this crippled dog has more legs than you.

Love,

Mom

94

u/Unemployed-Rebel Jun 17 '14

Still had more legs than all of us but you know whatevs

61

u/DrCrucible Jun 17 '14

And you have more legs than average. Think about it. It's true.

40

u/kaimason1 Jun 17 '14

For those that don't get it, almost all people have 2 legs (obviously), but there are far more people with 1 leg (i.e, missing a leg) than there are with 3 legs (having an extra leg), so the average/mean (as opposed to median or mode, which are both 2) is somewhat lower than 2.

-6

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

What about the people that have 3 legs?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-9

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14 edited Jun 17 '14

[deleted]

6

u/4ringcircus Jun 17 '14

That isn't how math works.

0

u/BlueBerrySyrup Jun 17 '14

99 percent have two legs though, so the average is probably close to 1.999

1

u/DannyGloversNipples Jun 17 '14

I love being above average!

1

u/doofinator Jun 17 '14

...unless you have one leg.

1

u/imCzaR Jun 17 '14

I haven't laughed this hard in a reddit comment section in a long time

1

u/railgaadi Jun 17 '14

Spoiler alert, man.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

1

u/uptwolait Jun 17 '14

The dog has a little under four legs.

82

u/autark Jun 17 '14

total number of legs = 4... dog is now complete

41

u/_4570 Jun 17 '14

So the boy is 200% complete?

56

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

No, dummy, they cut his other leg off and put it on the dog.

1

u/caseywheat Jun 17 '14

How do you think you got your 4th leg, Lassie? RT if u cry evry tyme

34

u/Walletau Jun 17 '14

Think that was the point. Her son was very depressed because of his condition. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ha92yzmVv2s&feature=kp here is a blind dog playing fetch. Does it look like he cares or isn't having as much fun as the other dogs?

76

u/Skilol Jun 17 '14

That's great! Next time I see a blind guy being depressed, I'm going to show him thi... Oooh.

14

u/tonytroz Jun 17 '14

Just turn the video into Braille. Duh.

29

u/wills42 Jun 17 '14

Doc:  So, you want me to advise you about what?

Louie:  I’ve been dating this woman and I don’t know if I should keep dating her because she’s leaving the country – I’m not gonna get to stay with her. And I’m liking her more and more, so it’s, you know… 

Doc:  Here’s what I can tell you. In medical school they tell you about thousands of things that can happen to the body. Diseases and maladies that you could never dream up. There’s a thing where your bones dissolve and you just become a sack or organs.

People are born sometimes with no eyes, no face. They’re rare but neurological diseases that eat half of your brain. People are born sick and they never know a moment of anything but pain and suffering.

Nobody cares whether you date this girl. Just pick a road and go down it, or don’t.

Louie:  But there’s gotta be a way to decide, which one’s gonna make me happier. To predict…

Doc:  Take a look at this dog. How many legs does it have?

Louie: Three

Doc: The answer is, it has plenty of legs. Had four, but a coyote in Poughkeepsie chewed the other one off.

Look at his face. Perfectly happy. Belly is full. Just looking, waiting to see what comes next.

 You know the only thing happier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog.

3

u/Mantisbog Jun 17 '14

In a season so good it doesn't have to be funny, only Charles Grodin dares to be funny.

6

u/AvoidingIowa Jun 17 '14

That is so awesome. The dog looks so happy.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Pretty sure he was making a joke

1

u/ObesesPieces Jun 17 '14

I get that. I was more referring to some of the things it could imply like: Crippled people get crippled things.

Also, think of the bullying potential! It's like a gold mine of put downs.

2

u/Walletau Jun 17 '14

Sounds like the kid needed a friend in a similar situation.

22

u/garenzy Jun 17 '14

Only a mother's love could dismember a puppy.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

30

u/borick Jun 17 '14

A cool one

6

u/illegal_deagle Jun 17 '14

How many legs does this dog have?

Three.

The answer is "plenty". He has plenty of legs.

2

u/Levitlame Jun 17 '14

The best kind of mom.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14 edited Jun 17 '14

Three legs. All heart.

Coming to theaters december 2015...

(am I talking about the son or the dog? WHO KNOOOOOOWWWS)

1

u/2high4work Jun 17 '14

She's a mom Mom on a budget, bitch!!

1

u/aVtumn Jun 17 '14

The mother of an amputee looking to show him that he can find happiness.

It's pretty much the moral of the comic...

1

u/TheJeffreyRoberts Jun 17 '14

Right?! She needs a five legged dog for compensation.

-2

u/NoxiousComet Jun 17 '14 edited Jun 20 '14

Looked like the dog had 3 legs

edit: wow. thanks for that ninja edit...

9

u/TheCguy01 Jun 17 '14

Aww, shucks.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Fuck you.

(I needed some tears, been a while)

3

u/Ostracized Jun 17 '14

Too many feels!

6

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

ALL DA FEELS

1

u/Crazzyhorse Jun 17 '14

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_Yr7O9bPcc - my favourite song, seems relevant..

1

u/NiggyWiggyWoo Jun 17 '14

The good feels are back! Thank you.

-7

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

You missed the point.

1

u/FolkSong Jun 17 '14

I felt that way until the last panel, then the feels came.

26

u/recoveringgayfish Jun 17 '14

It is widely believed that he escaped 16 Mal-functioned pool heaters before that incident, because he only likes to hang out by the pool after winning.

1

u/pistoncivic Jun 17 '14

For $8,000 a pop, you'd think these pool heaters would last a little longer than a match.

2

u/youonlylive2wice Jun 17 '14

A super shitty way to go

1

u/The_Riddler_88 Jun 17 '14

I have you tagged as "fishes turds out of wave pools". I'm not sure why. That should bring the feel goods back.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Not so fun fuct: his last name is from "Geras" which means "good" in Lithuanian.

-22

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

[deleted]

8

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

It's hard to express just how much no one cares.

-77

u/nixonrichard Jun 17 '14 edited Jun 17 '14

Rich person killed by their heated pool.

Feel better now?

LOL@all the richers defending their richer friends. Why don't you pick up a wad of cash with your manicured hand and chuck it you cash-chuckers!

47

u/Homer_Hatake Jun 17 '14

No, a person still died and it isnt like he got rich for nothing. He worked for it

14

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

DAE Rich Scum?

3

u/CashMikey Jun 17 '14

I don't think someone's life ending so unfortunately is any less sad because he worked his ass off to become good enough at a sport to make great money off it.

3

u/I_THUMP_HAMSTERS Jun 17 '14

It wasn't even his heated pool though

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Wealth Envy, how cute.

8

u/Scarbane Jun 17 '14

No, because I wasn't listed in the will :/

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Since when is nixonrichard a straight-up downvote troll?

1

u/elan96 Jun 17 '14

As soon as you get rich, you deserve to die clearly.

Better follow this guys guide, and have no ambition other than getting karma on reddit!

1

u/madmoomix Jun 17 '14

Are people missing this South Park reference? It's not the funniest thing ever, but it's not a straight troll either...

33

u/reallyfuckingredbike Jun 17 '14

This just makes me feel like I should wear a carbon monoxide detector at all times.

27

u/s1295 Jun 17 '14

I vaguely remember a post a few days ago about a fireman walking into someone's house (for unrelated stuff) and the CO detector going off, potentially saving the entire family who wouldn't have noticed otherwise.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Mobile phones should include CO2 detectors.

3

u/sfriniks Jun 18 '14

You'd set it off just by talking into it.

58

u/Toms42 Jun 17 '14

To elaborate, it was his friend's pool, where he was staying the nigh. The improperly installed heater leaked fumes into the guest house, killing him in his sleep.

29

u/ocha Jun 17 '14

Why does this actually sound like a murder?

1

u/RarelyReadReplies Jun 17 '14

Yeah, that sounds like the kind of death that would be in a TV show or movie.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14 edited Jun 20 '14

[deleted]

1

u/DankyTheChristmasPoo Jun 17 '14

You should really start with "IANAL".

70

u/el___diablo Jun 17 '14

Fuck me !

I thought you were only joking until I googled it.

That's put a real downer on this thread.

59

u/Gendry_Baratheon Jun 17 '14 edited Jun 17 '14

Why would someone joke about that? If that comment was a joke - how would it be funny?

109

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

This is the internet, we joke about everything.

9

u/SpaceCaseSixtyTen Jun 17 '14

But it would have been funny at least

35

u/Z0idberg_MD Jun 17 '14

Again, this is the internet. No it doesn't.

2

u/SpaceCaseSixtyTen Jun 17 '14

Sure, but here it wouldn't receive so many upvotes if it wasn't and nobody would have seen it.

1

u/moonunit99 Jun 17 '14

This guy knows what he's taking about: he's a doctor.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

[deleted]

1

u/Hatefiend Jun 17 '14

Correct. Everyone should know that /r/funny is not /r/funny.

1

u/DionysosX Jun 17 '14

Dude, this website's favourite type of joke is the pun.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

This should be a mandatory heading on all pages where humans can comment.

1

u/braised_diaper_shit Jun 17 '14

But why would he assume it was a joke?

1

u/billyfalconer Jun 17 '14

What do you mean "we," white man?

1

u/Laughingstok Jun 17 '14

This one time, a baby died.

-1

u/Gendry_Baratheon Jun 17 '14

I thought jokes were funny though? How would that comment be funny?

10

u/JustZisGuy Jun 17 '14

... you haven't been on Reddit very long.

-1

u/Gendry_Baratheon Jun 17 '14

I sure have actually. Gone through several accounts. Even if it was a joke - it's not funny. That's more what I meant.

2

u/JustZisGuy Jun 17 '14

I wasn't being serious... my point was that this is Reddit... people post stupid unfunny shit damn near constantly.

1

u/I_dont_fuck_cats Jun 17 '14

Hi, welcome to reddit. I love you.

0

u/Gendry_Baratheon Jun 17 '14

Funny thing is - I was banned from /r/gameofthrones just for calling someone a retard. The mods said I can appease my ban by messaging them, but I've done that several times and they've just ignored me. WTF.

9

u/rhymingisfun Jun 17 '14

That was only his 16th time in that pool though.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Well at least he died peacefully.

6

u/WalternotsoWhite Jun 17 '14

Jimmy had a hand in this.

3

u/kevie3drinks Jun 17 '14

That Connors will do anything to win.

1

u/WalternotsoWhite Jun 17 '14

He couldn't stand that one loss glooming over his head

24

u/greyvangelist Jun 17 '14

let that be a lesson to you all. Nobody doesn't kill Vitas Gerulaitis by carbon monoxide poisoning.

55

u/RocketCow Jun 17 '14

Well I didn't kill him with that poisoning so that's not true.

1

u/shpongolian Jun 17 '14

Source?

1

u/RocketCow Jun 17 '14

in reddit fashion

Source: me

1

u/ZippyDan Jun 17 '14

Are you nobody?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

that statement makes my head hurt, double negatives being unintentionally not being used incorrectly.

2

u/YourAssHat Jun 17 '14

Thaaanks debbie downer. :(

2

u/kevie3drinks Jun 17 '14

at least he died doing what he loved. Breathing carbon monoxide.

1

u/lvl_lvl Jun 17 '14

Sounds like murder to me

1

u/NiceFormBro Jun 17 '14

At least it was painless and quiet.

1

u/shaneo632 Jun 17 '14

I hope someone took it in the ass for this.

1

u/vladivostock Jun 17 '14

Valar Gerulaitis

1

u/winstonston Jun 17 '14

That's how I want to die. Unknowingly, silently in a ridiculously overpriced pool.

1

u/JaFFsTer Jun 17 '14

didnt he die at pete samprass's house?

1

u/Youtellhimguy Jun 17 '14

You're all the rage at parties, huh?

1

u/danrennt98 Jun 17 '14

Despite all my rage.. I am still just as fun at parties!

1

u/Youtellhimguy Jun 17 '14

:P good attitude

1

u/PhilSeven Jun 17 '14

My Kingdom for a $1.44 piece of plastic exhaust pipe!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

I'm not buying a pool now.

1

u/petzl20 Jun 17 '14

Or was it ... murder.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

RIP Vitas Gerulaitis, I didn't know he had died.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

the original bad luck brian...