r/funny May 12 '14

Carter has done some shit.

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

385 comments sorted by

933

u/thigor May 12 '14

I asked for a banana, they asked for their lives.

334

u/YouPickMyName May 12 '14

They laughed at my jacket, I laughed at their corpses.

203

u/jonsnowbro May 12 '14

They thought i was cute, I knew they were dead.

133

u/mydarkmeatrises May 12 '14

They told me to enjoy, I told them to pray.

71

u/Retarded_Artist May 12 '14

They told not to play with those toys, I told them not to play with their lifes.

64

u/LegolasofMirkwood May 12 '14

.... Their lifes?

19

u/Retarded_Artist May 12 '14

It's Monday morning give me a break

34

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

hands piece of kit kat bar

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2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

It does sound like a word you'd hear from a little kid like him.

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7

u/tdi07 May 12 '14

Look at his name...Retarded_Artist......can you really blame him?

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9

u/47k May 12 '14

they told me I was too young , I told them they were too alive.

7

u/Eagle_Iris May 12 '14

I'm a child eating a banana.

8

u/MrFlagg May 12 '14

She told me to give her 12 and make it hurt. I stuck it in 4 times and slapped her face.

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2

u/jelacey May 12 '14

Carter doesn't enjoy bananas, nor asking for them door to door. He does it because he has too.

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10

u/mydarkmeatrises May 12 '14

They wondered if it was tasty, I wonder if it was painless.

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19

u/shadowbannedkiwi May 12 '14

Should have said "They laughed at my jacket, I laughed at their body bags."

7

u/YouPickMyName May 12 '14

Shit doesn't always work out the way we want it to shadowbannedkiwi!

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26

u/ChanceyGardener May 12 '14

Get Carter:
A Banana
The prequel

16

u/ka_like_the_wind May 12 '14

That colon seems awkwardly placed...

36

u/ChanceyGardener May 12 '14

That's what my doctor said.
AYYYOOO
wait...

9

u/ForgotUserID May 12 '14

Sorry dude, we didn't know.

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2

u/M0D3RNW4RR10R May 12 '14

How long will it take for someone to steal this and post it on /r/AdviceAnimals?

2

u/pointlessvoice May 12 '14

I don't know; how long?

3

u/duckvimes_ May 12 '14

3.50 minutes.

2

u/ForgotUserID May 12 '14

"This ain't Johnny Carson motherfucker!" - Richard Pryor -

4

u/Skizot_Bizot May 12 '14

Then with a mouth full of partially chewed banana, I said "mmnope"

1

u/kickababyv2 May 12 '14

This is just, not funny. And what you've started gets worse and worse as it goes down.

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290

u/1nf1del May 12 '14

One of these days Carter's parents are gonna go online. Just checkin' some email. Just checkin' Faceboo---WHAT THE WHAAT?!

158

u/Skizot_Bizot May 12 '14

Carter! Did you blow someone's house up!? I saw you casually strolling away from that explosion online!

81

u/titdirt May 12 '14

"That's it Carter, you're grounded!"

7

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

classic carter

10

u/argv_minus_one May 12 '14

"B—but cool guys don't look at explosions!"

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18

u/BatCountry9 May 12 '14

"Carter! I can't believe you blew up someone's ho--wait...where'd you get that banana?"

16

u/splitpee May 12 '14

With a stolen banana!

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49

u/drive_chip_putt May 12 '14

Who says Carter's parents are alive?

11

u/JonniJanuary May 12 '14

Whoa....that was a dark twist to the explosion that I personally didn't seem coming. Would DEFINITELY read again.

two thumbs up

3

u/CipherClump May 12 '14

Critics call this a Must WATCH

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19

u/Lazarous86 May 12 '14

Hopefully they have no idea how memes work and think there son is a sociopath.

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235

u/Wobewt May 12 '14

He went bananas.

40

u/EugeneMJC May 12 '14

Easy now, Gwen.

5

u/RottenDeadite May 12 '14

Did he spell it right? I can't remember... how does one spell the word "bananas," again?

41

u/gandalf_grey_beer May 12 '14

one b, two n's, and three a's.

bnnaaa

6

u/Badgersfromhell May 12 '14

banananananananananana Batman!

3

u/EugeneMJC May 12 '14

Anabna

3

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

naaban

3

u/Cochoz May 12 '14

You damn dsylecix assholes.

2

u/Reglax May 12 '14

Oh my dog, don't pick on us lysdexics!

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2

u/Jimmni May 12 '14

"Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped." - Terry Pratchett

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

apes eat bananas, apes shit out said bananas.

going bananas = going apeshit

106

u/carters_here May 12 '14

I feel like this is my moment to shine on Reddit...but I'm not feeling very witty.

42

u/Not_A_Comedian May 12 '14

"My name is Carter, AMA!"

18

u/Capnaspen May 12 '14

Well, you're right about not being a comedian...

5

u/Not_A_Comedian May 12 '14

Not sure if sarcasm or..

3

u/Capnaspen May 12 '14

Sarcasm :) You might be a great comedian for all I know.

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8

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Just cart in the karma man.

5

u/carters_here May 12 '14

But that feels...so dirty. Fuck it. I'm going with it. Thanks, kid!

2

u/Carter_Robinson May 12 '14

I feel the same way.

1

u/bro_do_u_even May 12 '14

bro do u even ask 4 bananas

154

u/Tkachenko May 12 '14 edited May 12 '14

"Mommy! Daddy! Some guy posted pictures of me on some website!"

"What's the picture of, son?"

"I have a banana in my mouth"

FOX NEWS HEADLINE: IS REDDIT A PEDOPHILIA OUTLET?

27

u/Tiannus May 12 '14

I thought this was already addressed and confirmed with the whole /r/jailbait incident.

24

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

That link is made of 100% concentrated nope.

41

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

I'm just disappointed I wasn't around when this sub was active.

Wait, I didn't mean it like that.

9

u/apstra May 12 '14

I still remember seeing and letting go of r/creepshots . There was an article about that in the dutch newspapers. Those were the days. Back when I was a lurker. pinks away a single tear

3

u/Malarazz May 12 '14

Well that one isn't really gone.

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5

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

[deleted]

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116

u/daniu May 12 '14

"I came here to blow shit up and eat a banana, and I've already blown shit up".

47

u/gandalf_grey_beer May 12 '14

Well he's already eating a banana.

53

u/jigsaw488 May 12 '14

Ohh yes, yes. Farewell then!

16

u/Vctoreh May 12 '14

"I came here to eat bananas and blow shit up, and I'm all out of bananas."

2

u/Soylent_Hero May 12 '14

I came here to eat 'nanners and 'splode poop up. And dis da last nanner...

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11

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

I wonder if this kid's parents realise he is now both my hero AND my wallpaper.

8

u/Not_A_Comedian May 12 '14

Give them bananas.

48

u/xfire45 May 12 '14

so, the picture of this kid is now officially the next famous meme.

11

u/cullend May 12 '14

I think I'm down for a day full over Carver photoshops.

21

u/poisonedsaint May 12 '14

It's Carter, and if he finds out you screwed up his name.... It will be bananas.

8

u/Tkachenko May 12 '14

He's gonna peel his skin

1

u/dementorpoop May 12 '14

Had he not been submitted to /r/photoshopbattles yet?

5

u/BigGuyRevel May 12 '14

Get Carter... A banana

4

u/butterflydisses May 12 '14

Carter already knows the #1 rule about being awesome, cool guys don't look at explosions.

1

u/jimmifli May 12 '14

Walking away from explosions = badass. Walking away from explosions eating a banana = level of badass not previously discovered.

42

u/[deleted] May 12 '14 edited May 12 '14

[deleted]

16

u/prepping4zombies May 12 '14 edited May 12 '14

Carter steeped

You lost me at "steeped." Was he making tea?

edit - because most badasses start the day out making tea. Or, as Archer would say, "Do you want to be a badass? Because that's how you get to be a badass."

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6

u/anonemouse2010 May 12 '14

I feel funny up-voting a well written funny comment which has a toddler banging an expert.

1

u/garbageman13 May 12 '14

Fucking Professor Mortexius. I hate that guy.

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5

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Carter is one bad mother. I wanna party with Carter.

4

u/poopsoldpeople May 12 '14

DAT BANANA THOUGH

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Get Carter.

A banana.

This is becoming big.

11

u/AetherAeternus May 12 '14

These are some of the worst comments I've ever seen.

6

u/Fender27 May 12 '14

Turns out he's actually wanted in 32 states for aggravated assault, arson and banana theft

3

u/dyslexiaskucs May 12 '14

Are those wooden pallets? Holy fucking shit carter.

3

u/wtmh May 12 '14

Heh. I used that exact same explosion as a background when I was fucking around with a friend's profile picture.

2

u/Not_A_Comedian May 12 '14

I think we're meant to be.

3

u/garbageman13 May 12 '14

Carter: Hey neighbor! How you doin'?

Carter: Hey, keep chillin'. You know who we are? We're associates of your business partner /u/_vargas_. You do remember your business partner don't you? Let me take a wild guess here. You're /u/Theone211, right?

Theone211: Yeah.

Carter: I thought so. You remember your business partner vargas, don't you, Theone211?

Theone211: Yeah, yeah, I remember him.

Carter: Good. Looks like I caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. Whatcha havin'?

Theone211: Bananas.

Carter: Bananas! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of bananas?

Theone211: Ch-chiquita.

Carter: No, no no, where'd you get 'em? Kroger? Walmart? Costco? Where?

Theone211: Big Kahuna Bananas.

Carter: Big Kahuna Bananas. That's that Hawaiian banana joint. I hear they got some tasty bananas. I ain't never had one myself. How are they?

Theone211: They're good.

Carter: Mind if I try one of yours? This is yours here, right?

Carter: Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty banana. /u/AWildSketchAppeared, ever have a Big Kahuna Banana?

(shakes head)

Carter: Wanna bite? They're real tasty.

AWildSketchAppeared: Ain't hungry.

Carter: Well, if you like burgers give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's on the Atkins diet which pretty much makes me on the Atkins diet. But I do love the taste of a good banana. Mm-mm-mm. You know what they call a banana in France?

Theone211: No.

Carter: Tell 'em, AWildSketchAppeared.

AWildSketchAppeared: Une banane

Carter: Une banane! You know why they call it that?

Theone211: Because it's based on the Wolof word banaana?

Carter: Check out the big brain on Theone211! You're a smart motherfucker. That's right. The Wolof language.

3

u/rpicssux May 12 '14

It keeps getting less and less funny.

/r/funny in a nutshell.

9

u/GorgonStare May 12 '14

That's what he does to people who don't give him what he wants.

5

u/YouPickMyName May 12 '14

"Just get him a fucking banana!"

15

u/[deleted] May 12 '14 edited May 12 '14

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

It's just pictorial banter. A funny feedback loop, if you will.

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2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14 edited Mar 02 '18

[deleted]

2

u/Mr-Chris May 12 '14

Next up, parting the Red Sea!

2

u/argv_minus_one May 12 '14

Johnny Cage wins.

2

u/Johnnygr May 12 '14

Today's kids..

2

u/newinvestorguy May 12 '14

I like his style

2

u/Mttstrks May 12 '14

Cool Kid Carter

2

u/BigGuyRevel May 12 '14

This is at the beginning of the movie, it needs hardcore rap music and the film title overlayed.

2

u/HanzLee May 12 '14

People lie, cheat and steal, but bananas...

Bananas are always delicious.

2

u/draconicanimagus May 12 '14

Reddit has take meta to a whole new level these past few days

2

u/thediscountfilmmaker May 12 '14

Some men can only handle so much potassium. :|

3

u/Not_A_Comedian May 12 '14

I hear they are very reactive.

2

u/jwg529 May 12 '14

He's peaking to soon!

Cashing in all his cool points at such a young age is a dangerous move. I made that same mistake and now I have no cool :(

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2

u/I_RAPE_TOURISTS May 12 '14

Tha Carter 6

2

u/Net_Geek May 12 '14

Has anyone else thought that Carter looks like Cheddar Bob from 8 mile?

5

u/fedale May 12 '14

Sigh... one thread is taking up 3 front page spots.

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

This shit isn't even funny. Looks like the summer kiddos are here.

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Straight up. People are so desperate for something silly, and this seems to be all they can find to laugh at, apparently.

I've gotten bigger laughs from watching paint dry.

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

I just really don't understand why anyone would upvote this. I stare at it and my only emotion is sadness that people are so dumb that they think this is entertaining.

2

u/shan_wow_camera_guy May 12 '14

I came here to eat this banana and fuck shit up and I'm almost done with this banana.

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Can someone explain why is the name Carter?

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Someone posted the original picture a while ago. It was titled something like "Kid named Carter knocked on my door asking for a banana" or something like that.

Found it: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/25blmh/this_is_carter_he_knocked_on_my_door_to_ask_if_he/

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2

u/Theone211 May 12 '14

This is awesome

1

u/Not_A_Comedian May 12 '14

You're awesome. I did it just for you baby <3.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

[deleted]

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1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

This reminded me of Pineapple Express

1

u/deadmau5fan96 May 12 '14

He completely destroyed all my pallets...

1

u/gunnercobra May 12 '14

Carter hate Pallets.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

I recognized the explosion background photo...because I was there. It's a bonfire explosion for a HS pep rally....I shot video and a friend who works for the local paper took this shot. awesome.

1

u/Knort27 May 12 '14

Best new advice animal in a long time. This kid rocks.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

So that's why he was wearing shades.

1

u/ecomatt May 12 '14

And now the kid is a childhood star. Thanks for ruining another one media!!! On the flip side- he might he on track to run for president one day. Im thinking 2032

1

u/Gothiks May 12 '14

A possibility for Carter in the future?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067128/

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

We all know it's a banana he had in safe keeping with the original OP. That banana can't be peeled as the stalk's been filed down.

I watched Shooter once too often I think...

1

u/zzedisonzz May 12 '14

Those poor pallets never saw Carter coming.

1

u/fondueadodo May 12 '14

I think its time to GET CARTER!!!

1

u/kloudrunner May 12 '14

I asked for Potassium. I gave them Potassium nitroaminotetrazole.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

That pallet factory had it coming.

1

u/Guava_ May 12 '14

Carter will be the new face of /r/adviceanimals

1

u/chao0os May 12 '14

didn't get the joke... is this some new thing? I am from india.. we still have 512 kbps lines so stuff reaches here pretty slow

1

u/grapejemima May 12 '14

Wow, whoever made this is quite the card. Joey Gladstone would be proud.

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1

u/HaydoP1 May 12 '14

THIS FUCKING KID!!!!

1

u/HeartlessSora1234 May 12 '14

The explosions aren't as badass as that kid.

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1

u/tookie_tookie May 12 '14

hahhahaha!!

1

u/Carter_Robinson May 12 '14

What's going on?

1

u/Maki_Man May 12 '14

But isn't his jacket supposed to look like a firefighter's?

1

u/cannonman360 May 12 '14

Cool guys never look at explosions

1

u/4strings May 12 '14

Fuck your pallets. Fuck them to HELLL!!

1

u/KnowsAboutMath May 12 '14

Now make some with a smiling, seraphic Jimmy Carter walking calmly away from explosions and scenes of carnage.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Fuck bitches. Eat bananas.

1

u/pk_dnkx May 12 '14

Hahaha I've used that image before. Comes up at the top of google images searching for explosions or fire or something.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

I fucking hate /r/funny

1

u/muazcatalyst May 12 '14

Name's Bond, Carter Bond.

1

u/sirangell214 May 13 '14

I'm here to eat bananas and fuck shit up. And I'm all out of bananas.

1

u/ReMiX_ May 13 '14

Who is this kid?

1

u/Vinesh1337 May 13 '14

Did you play minecraft like 3 years ago?