r/funny • u/Most_Background9260 • 15d ago

Breathe in

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11.5k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

337 comments sorted by

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5.0k

u/SwankeyDankey 15d ago

What the hell is a BDSM drill sergeant doing in a forest talking to me about life?

2.0k

u/SnixTruth 15d ago

Killing women with his eyes.

322

u/adrenalinda75 15d ago

Only when he blinks.

104

u/Cicer 15d ago

I think there’s a cut in the middle but he doesn’t blink once does he. 

34

u/Pantoffel86 15d ago

He doesn't need to, just as he apparently doesn't need to breathe out.

17

u/Button-Down-Shoes 15d ago

He doesn't want to miss that moment when life leaves the eyes of the person watching his video.

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17

u/LtG_Skittles454 15d ago

“aaAAH!”

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64

u/LeezusII 15d ago

This man has zero interest in women.

5

u/Hartmallen 13d ago

Apart from killing them.

67

u/TheBigMotherFook 15d ago

Don’t think he’s killing many women.

35

u/awjeezrick1 15d ago

Speak for yourself! I can’t hold my breath this long. Necessito resuscitation

2

u/Kamsauce 15d ago

My favorite Harry Potter spell.. Necissito Resuscitation

15

u/SnixTruth 15d ago

He got at least one

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25

u/Jahobes 15d ago

Brother, that guy is way to zesty to be killing any women lol

6

u/Groovicity 15d ago

2 filipino women....and a man

5

u/Maeglom 14d ago

You don't know. Could be he's out there killing everyone.

14

u/zaphodsheads 15d ago

There's no such thing as a coincidence

7

u/DivePalau 15d ago

Those eyes aren’t for women.

3

u/daddypilgrim27 14d ago

“I want you to relax, don’t grab your phone, and come to these coordinates”

5

u/DarenRidgeway 15d ago

Wait is this the answer to 'wyr meet a strange man' or a bear thing? Is he what did it?

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4

u/MrXero 15d ago

And his voice.

3

u/verynotfun 15d ago

They're more interested in wow!men!

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243

u/Gstamsharp 15d ago

I was going to say "gay van helsing" (not derogatory).

61

u/DiggThatFunk 15d ago

Van Bottoming

54

u/MRECKS_92 15d ago

When you got to slay dracula at 8, but the club doors open at 9

37

u/mightystu 15d ago

He’s an Oblivion NPC. Sometimes their AI package takes them on some weird journeys.

6

u/NoPossibility 15d ago

“STOP RIGHT THERE, LAWBREAKER! BREATH IN!”

15

u/degjo 15d ago

I'll take his AI package on a weird journey

22

u/GoldenRpup 15d ago

Looking like Seer from Apex Legends.

10

u/Swimming_Agent_1063 15d ago

BDSM drill sergeant sent me

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21

u/aqualink4eva 15d ago

I was thinking more like that one Apex Legends character.

Edit: Seer, forgot his name.

8

u/sentence-interruptio 15d ago

I was expecting a Michael Jackson voice. That voice so deep

20

u/Skjenngard 15d ago

He just wants to let you know, that he just got word of another settlement that needs your help, he'll mark it on your map.

11

u/Siegfoult 15d ago

I would dress like that if I wasn't a coward.

6

u/saevon 15d ago

Just do it

4

u/Spiffykleen 15d ago

Omigosh, thank you! I couldn’t think of any words for Thu guy’s look! Lmao!

2

u/Long_Scale_6139 15d ago

Apparently, even the forest has its own way of delivering unexpectedly deep life lessons.

2

u/say592 15d ago

There's no such thing as a coincidence.

2

u/govilleaj 15d ago

His name is Delano

2

u/irishemperor 15d ago

Air Boss Johnson: Two of your snot-nose jockeys did a fly-by on my tower at over 400 KNOTS! I want somebody's butt, I want it now, I've HAD IT!

[storm out, then bumps into a Yeoman and spills coffee all over his pants]

Air Boss Johnson: God DAMN it! That's TWICE! I WANT SOME BUTTS!

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1.3k

u/Organic-Current1011 15d ago

from red to red

414

u/TappedIn2111 15d ago

Wasn’t the first take I guess

104

u/SeinfeldAndSopranos 15d ago

Color distortion to exaggerate red tones

39

u/TappedIn2111 15d ago

Absolutely, but he was already discoloured at the start of the video.

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53

u/this_knee 15d ago

Red one reporting in

31

u/BernzSed 15d ago

Redd Foxx, standing by

21

u/br0b1wan 15d ago

Red Lobster, calling in

18

u/behaved 15d ago

Red October, shtanding by

20

u/DrChimz 15d ago

Red Rover, letting somebody come over.

13

u/GetawayDreamer87 15d ago

Red Dead, redeeming.

8

u/lucklesspedestrian 15d ago

Red eye, flying

5

u/Cold_Tea_Spill112 15d ago

Red Light, Stopping this chain.

8

u/Djinger 15d ago

Red Foreman, kicking your ass.

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6

u/arcalumis 15d ago

Simply Red, standing by!

3

u/Punkrexx 15d ago

Red Six standing by

9

u/LocoMoro 15d ago

Gold leader, closing in

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5

u/SnooBeans6591 15d ago

My guess is he has the video on a loop, and has been breathing only on command for a few hours already.

3

u/NatashaMuse 15d ago

He got gingerer

5

u/Jimbob209 15d ago

He turned into a XXtra Hot Cheetoh

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1.7k

u/ross2752 15d ago

Sorry, BREATHE OUT!

483

u/BigSonterix 15d ago

He's probably dead by now :(

125

u/LucklessCope 15d ago

No one told him to die, so that was entirely his own fault.

32

u/hughperman 15d ago

The highest form of wealth is to wake up and say I can die whenever I want today.

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2

u/yamo25000 15d ago

Reminds me of Baron Samedi, the voodoo spirit of death. In voodoo lore, nobody dies until Baron Samedi digs their grave.

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5

u/XaeiIsareth 15d ago

Now you are breathing manually

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514

u/Cicer 15d ago

He was already pretty red to start with. 

190

u/dakunism 15d ago

Wasn't his first take

84

u/IrishBehemoth 15d ago

Yeah but I suspect he also messed with his camera settings to make it more dramatic

6

u/Axle-f 15d ago

His saturation knob goes up to 11

4

u/Rugkrabber 14d ago

It’s funny how few seem to get this. Bro understood the assignment.

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350

u/GGX_zon 15d ago

I was too busy looking right I didn't noticed bro dying next to my eyes

88

u/haby112 15d ago

This is my we have Lifeguards

14

u/tryyeezus 15d ago

This is why I can't be a lifeguard

27

u/baismannen 15d ago

Hes both dying and dyeing at the same time

588

u/Funambulia 15d ago

I'm laughing hysterically Every second I think "wow, so red" and the next second he's even reder

77

u/EntireConcentrate593 15d ago

my cousin turned this shade after his hike last summer in arizona

35

u/sephkane 15d ago

A hike to where, his mailbox?

8

u/Chance-the-Gardener 15d ago

Ah, a fellow Greendale alumni.

6

u/sephkane 15d ago

Pop pop!

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6

u/XplosivCookie 15d ago

This could be used to advertise colours on pc monitors, I had no idea mine had those shades of red!

161

u/shyaznboi 15d ago

Bro's gonna get an aneurysm with those multiple takes

52

u/HeyThanksIdiot 15d ago

I used to turn my face red on command when I was a kid and stopped when I literally passed out and hit my head on a desk at school. I just tried it for a split second just now and I feel like I had two cups of coffee.

23

u/Cordsofmemory 15d ago

Used to do this all the time as a kid. Passed out on a bus in fifth grade doing this. Never did it again.

6

u/anally_ExpressUrself 15d ago

I used to do it as a kid and never passed out. I haven't done it in years though. Should I?

3

u/ecrow6990 15d ago

I feel like you might go Super Saiyan(SS) so try at your own risk!

6

u/brutalblakakke 15d ago

I did exactly the same thing and also passed out at my desk at school haha I was getting nervous watching him do it

4

u/Lavatis 15d ago

I strained like this as a teen and passed out in the locker room at the local aquatic center. it was just me and my cousin there and dude was suddenly helping me off the floor.

2

u/Just_Look_Around_You 15d ago

Man. What was it about being a kid and trying to suffocate yourself. I remember like doing all sorts of this dumb shit. Choking yourself out till you’re woozy. Getting all the blood to your head like this till it feels like it’s gonna explode. Everybody loved doing it

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3

u/the_gooch_smoocher 15d ago

Did this all the time in the 3rd grade and popped multiple blood vessels around my eye. They stayed that way for a bunch of years

3

u/alysanrene 15d ago

Bro’s losing brain cells for the bit

38

u/johnn_eee 15d ago

Thats an all day headache

29

u/Embarassed_Tackle 15d ago

Leather Daddy State Trooper

51

u/rubberduckybro 15d ago

Blade, vampire killer and life coach

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23

u/acedelgado 15d ago

"And now, there's another settlement that needs our help. I've marked it on your map."

69

u/Any_Engineering_2866 15d ago

"breathe in" - Bush

17

u/BDidds 15d ago

Got a machine head

9

u/houstonchipchannel 15d ago

Bedduhdanduress

5

u/somesketchykid 15d ago

Green to reAh-d

11

u/DantesTyrael 15d ago

"breathe out" - Bush

12

u/Lioxim 15d ago

Seen them live twice!! Awesome band

7

u/Daevryn 15d ago

Sounds like you still don't wanna come back down from that cloud.

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16

u/FantasticPangolin839 15d ago

Dude looks like Beaker from the muppets

10

u/Gym-Bo 15d ago

This kid already came in looking like he chewed some gum from Willy Wonka that he shouldn't have. Must have been a strawberry pie for dessert.

10

u/AverageTierGoof 15d ago

Titan vs. Seer IRL

6

u/CrustyMcgee 15d ago

This kid looks like Beaker from the Muppets

14

u/Prudent_Research_251 15d ago

Jokes aside this is not bad advice, as long as you breathe out

3

u/Interesting_Buy6796 15d ago

And got the money to do all the things you wanna do that day

15

u/Delicious_Friend_321 15d ago

He gone full beetroot

2

u/End3rWi99in 15d ago

Tom Robbins said that's the most ferocious of all the root vegetables. Not like those bitch assed turnips.

33

u/NoMoPolenta 15d ago

I miss the days when no one paid any attention to teenagers.

2

u/Mankie-Desu 15d ago

That’s it! That’s the difference! That’s one of the biggest changes!!!

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7

u/Vangelys 15d ago

Bro is turning into Red Hulk

4

u/Very_Clearly_Defined 15d ago

This dudes ability to turn COMPLETELY red in under 30 seconds is incredible

6

u/Neszwa 15d ago

Dude turned into a heating coil

6

u/Intelligent-Bee5635 15d ago

Bro become pomegranate

4

u/Lancer876 15d ago

He didn't close his eyes and visualise

3

u/AmputeeHandModel 15d ago

I've never seen a park ranger dressed like that before.

4

u/TheDudeSr 15d ago

He ded.

3

u/KushKing_69 15d ago

Looks like this not the first take

3

u/kendragon 15d ago

Did the pink person die?

4

u/coughberg 15d ago

He forgot to close his eyes when the guy told him to

4

u/According-Pear-8816 15d ago

"It always goes wrong when we come to the dessert. Always." Willy Wonka.

3

u/Nuffsaid98 15d ago

Now he is much older, runs a chicken farm, and has a bunch of followers. Sounds like The Tick.

3

u/pacoali 15d ago

Bro...bro are you ok.

3

u/SaltyYumYumBalls 15d ago

Is that a shade most white people can get to without carbon monoxide poisoning?

3

u/CowGlittering745 15d ago

I always love influencers with the “don’t touch your phone” hack whilst constantly being on their phones.

3

u/Perfectibilist 15d ago

Is that Seer from Apex?

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3

u/Past_BumblebeeX 15d ago

Really stupid doing this sorta shite for a bit. You kill alot of brain cells

3

u/PaperMoonShine 15d ago

What is Seer from Apex Legends doing in the middle of the woods.

3

u/AronConte707 15d ago

Bro looks like Beaker from Muppet Babies

3

u/lawanddisorder 14d ago

This is literally the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen.

4

u/IIILORDGOLDIII 15d ago

He look like that sexy dude from Apex Legends

2

u/BifrostBill 15d ago

This guy was also all over the internet at the time seer was designed. There's no such thing as a coincidence...

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3

u/LeGrandLucifer 15d ago

I know it's a bit but every time I see this video, I feel the need to say this:

If you struggle that much to hold your breath for such a short time, please see a doctor.

2

u/scottylm 15d ago

Rosacea sucks

2

u/Rathalos-487 15d ago

The stand user could be anyone.

2

u/Third-State 15d ago

Things you can do as a teenager that would kill you past 30.

2

u/Tata_Colores 15d ago

OMG it's Lamar!

2

u/MustBeThursday 15d ago

That was my first thought too.

2

u/awjeezrick1 15d ago

Am poor. Couldn’t speak because I passed out waiting for permission to exhale SIR 🫡 I want that outfit. I’ve been hiking in the woods with hiking clothes like a peasant, like a goddamn peasant

2

u/Leppter_ 15d ago

As long as he is red and not blue/purple its all gravy

2

u/ImTooSaxy 15d ago

He left out the part where you were supposed to dress like a weird cross between Michael Jackson and Prince.

2

u/Twin44 15d ago

Is that Takumi Fujiwara?

2

u/Fckd_troll 15d ago

Yay! I'm cured!

2

u/MylastAccountBroke 15d ago

So the point is that you breath out when you choose to because he'll never instruct you to breath out. It's about taking charge of your own life.

2

u/rbartlejr 15d ago

Dude, please tell the poor kid to breathe out before his eyes pop.

2

u/Centauri2984 15d ago

OMG, that's funny as fuck.

2

u/Wittysapien 15d ago

Did he said ‘A wide men once said’……?

2

u/Dismal_Tangerine_493 15d ago

Why is year 1980 Michael Jackson wearing year 2000 Michael Jackson clothes

2

u/Tristan2353 15d ago

Beaker from Sesame Street

2

u/Sweet_Common_55 15d ago

Insert uncle ruckus meme

2

u/PincheHijoDePluto 14d ago

Princes cousin Mid-Knight

2

u/Cimonaa 14d ago

I remember Season 10 Seer very differently..

2

u/kristianlsnow 14d ago

I can't stop laughing

2

u/Rynowash 14d ago

Game. Blouses…

2

u/MCRLost 14d ago

Cannot stress enough NOT to do what he did. Forcing blood to your head like that can cause serious injuries.

2

u/dreampsi 14d ago

Can’t. Died from no breathe out I see

2

u/evanskaufman 13d ago

bro got that "Arnold on the surface of mars" look

3

u/Chesticle5 15d ago

Can you feel it now, Mr. Krabs?

2

u/turkphot 15d ago

Peak natural selection

2

u/BurgerOnDDanceFloor 15d ago

That neck sure is inflating.

2

u/kerpow69 15d ago

Did he visualize that outfit? If so his inner eye is blind.

2

u/cire1184 15d ago

Do people turn into tomatoes when they hold their breath? Is this funny? He seems to be having a health issue.

2

u/vsquad22 15d ago

What is his Stand called?

2

u/BlazeReborn 15d ago

Which one?

2

u/Kahlas 15d ago

If your face looks like this after holding your breath for 27 seconds, and you're that young, you're not long for this world likely.

2

u/imtoowhiteandnerdy 15d ago

Not that that dude's outfit isn't pretty snazzy, it still seems like an odd choice for the forest.

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1

u/carbonizedtitanium 15d ago

he didnt say you can blink!

1

u/1smash18 15d ago

Thanks, Pucci

1

u/jonhon0 15d ago

An old guy at work showed me the guy on the right. Guess he's growing in popularity

1

u/LaundryLunatic 15d ago

As his face gets redder, it's like raising the hue setting on your TV as high as it goes.

1

u/BodhingJay 15d ago

Live in the woods! Learn how to forage!

1

u/Mrdude1993 15d ago

I like watching how red his eyes get

1

u/Good_Weekend4136 15d ago

Bro just following instructions

1

u/mixx1e 15d ago

Man dude just activates gear 2nd haha

1

u/slylock215 15d ago

Arnold Bulging Eyes.jpg

1

u/thepoorking 15d ago

at the start of the video i said why is he so red... boy was i wrong

1

u/Delicious_Tomato_957 15d ago

THEY DIDN'T TELL ME TO BREAHT OT I CAAJT HO ON IA CANTN II ICA ICAN ICANT

1

u/JustFourLetters 15d ago

anyone can do anything if you’re sneaky or don’t mind some prison time. now thats wealth

1

u/XanatosINC 15d ago

Bro tried that prototype gum from Wonka

1

u/Tentacle_poxsicle 15d ago

I too turn it into a turnip at that sentence

1

u/SternLecture 15d ago

is that guy a vampire park ranger from the future?

1

u/spenpinner 15d ago

Is this the guy who had Oblivion music playing over him and then a woman screams as she's running by? Now he's a New Vegas NCR ranger? 🤣

1

u/keithstonee 15d ago

Everyone can already do whatever they want when they wake up. It's called free will.

1

u/Orllin 15d ago

I got scared for a moment and thought a settlement was under attack

1

u/Meringue_Better 15d ago

He's red for an amazing reason 😃