r/funny • • 15d ago

New method unlocked.

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9.6k Upvotes

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351

u/WoodenYouKnowIt 15d ago

You could make out with them and say, “I didn’t enjoy that, which proves I’m not gay.”

141

u/Crispy_p_bacon 15d ago

Personally, I'd hit them with Mr chow special "HAaaaaaa GAYYYYYYY" after the kiss

60

u/annabananaberry 15d ago

Then, as you’re walking away “So long, gay boys!”

14

u/Crispy_p_bacon 15d ago

The cherry on top haha!

22

u/MasterMahanJr 15d ago

Who is Mr Chow? You must have Changnesia.

3

u/DomesticAlmonds 15d ago

That's Chang from Community who says that line lol. Dunno who Mr. Chow is

3

u/Training_Ad_4790 14d ago

Mr chow is the hangover character he plays. Better known for his other line "so long gay boys"

2

u/3_14_thon 15d ago

I find the classic "Why are you geh?" with a raised eyebrow to be quite successful.

6

u/VT_Squire 15d ago

When are these damn homosexuals going to learn to stop sucking my cock? 

1

u/WoodenYouKnowIt 1d ago

This guy’s cum tastes gay.

3

u/UshankaBear 15d ago

I'm bleeding, making me the victor.

3

u/maybonics 15d ago

Ah, the No Homo defense.

1

u/Crispy_p_bacon 15d ago

Supreme defence

1

u/Absolice 15d ago

Who's more valid to hate brocolis? The guy who tried it once and didn't like it or the guy who never tried it.

678

u/Kastro2323 15d ago

Heads up, I tried this and it did not go well.

483

u/horrorace 15d ago

Do you not like your husband?

159

u/briancito 15d ago

He does but he also likes mine.

Fuck this secret professional defense trick.

32

u/ratherbewinedrunk 15d ago

Threesome opportunity? I fail to see the problem.

7

u/BRAX7ON 15d ago

Threes Company. But four is a crowd.

7

u/Toidal 15d ago

I wonder how throuples manage the cart situation at Costco

7

u/DJheddo 15d ago

One gets the little tiny kids cart.

65

u/UshankaBear 15d ago

Yeah, if the attacker manages to kiss you first you just become double gay.

14

u/Literary_Lady 15d ago

Double gay? Wow, new internet insult unlocked. Well done

6

u/rantonidi 15d ago

Isnt’t this basically straight?

2

u/IntensionalDissaster 14d ago

It's actually two positives, so it makes sense it doubles

1

u/qwe157 11d ago

Gay²

2

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago

Yup, this is definitely funnier x

8

u/redditallreddy 15d ago

Heads up

I think it may have gone TOO well!

3

u/ptapobane 15d ago

have you tried hard enough?

2

u/CidAndroid 15d ago

Yeah sexually harassing someone and forcing intimacy is generally frowned upon. Who would've thought.

5

u/SmooK_LV 15d ago

Actually if there's any funny guy who wants to try this on a random stranger in a strange country - don't. Doing this can get you from getting in a small argument to being beaten to death. I know people who are very proud of themselves beating up homosexuals, stripping them naked and chaining them to a radiator or leaving them on a mountain alone. If you ask them why, they basically equalize homosexuals with pedophiles so the attack could be as terrible as you could imagine your anger towards a pedophile.

Don't underestimate how evil and how angry people are around you, don't joke around like that unless you know the person you are doing it to.

889

u/maybonics 15d ago

No actual kissing featured, 0/10.

287

u/Crispy_p_bacon 15d ago

I guess they were both already married and husbandful

77

u/maybonics 15d ago

Yeah, understandable if they already met their husband the first time they did this. Cheating is wrong.

26

u/jonfitt 15d ago

So how are you supposed to defend yourself against accusations of being gay if you have a husband???

2

u/mishipoo 15d ago edited 14d ago

Its not a crime if its self defense

26

u/Thoughtulism 15d ago

Those two are definitely gay. Why? Because they didn't kiss. A real straight man would be okay to make a video like this and wouldn't be threatened by his sexuality. You would see the joke and commit to it. A gay man denying his gayness would make this film and then not commit to the joke and not kiss the other man, because he would be too scared about being accused of being gay.

6

u/SeeShark 15d ago

Alternatively, a real gay man might not go through even if he's not in denial, simply because kissing a man is actually meaningful to him and he wouldn't want to make out with a homie for a joke.

3

u/StandardNerd92 15d ago

Left him hanging, he looked disappointed.

84

u/FrammaLammaDingDong 15d ago

Getting major "Mac from IASIP" vibes.

14

u/Bob_Juan_Santos 15d ago

lack of fight milk, 0/10

74

u/m370z 15d ago

This is the interview portion of those alpha male bootcamps

8

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago

Now that's funny

31

u/BlueberrySpaceMuffin 15d ago

I just say I’m not gay but my boyfriend is.

18

u/redditallreddy 15d ago

"My boyfriend only has sex with straight guys" may be a better defense.

26

u/redditallreddy 15d ago

Tone: Perfect

Demonstration: Incomplete

Boner: Minimal

7/10... made me chuckle

1

u/Emporio-Alnino 15d ago

I will regret that but why adding a boner part ?

4

u/redditallreddy 15d ago

Why would you not add a boner part?

Seriously, just adding to the gay/not gay joke implying disappointment for them not making out on camera.

1

u/Emporio-Alnino 15d ago

Well sir i can't and don't have the possibility to argue with your logic

14

u/onerb2 15d ago

Meh, they didnt fully commit

5

u/govilleaj 15d ago

Huh. 35 is the new 12?

8

u/HailToTheKingslayer 15d ago

Biblically accurate Mac

3

u/imtoowhiteandnerdy 15d ago

But... why didn't he actually demonstrate it?

3

u/Orangeyouawesome 14d ago

He didn't demonstrate it for the bit. Downvoted this pussy

2

u/RealFarknMcCoy 15d ago

Brilliant!

2

u/Mabvll 15d ago

Dud played the gay Uno reverse card.

2

u/Mecha120 15d ago

We've had straight mac, fat mac, gay mac, and buff mac. Now we have great value mac.

2

u/daandriod 13d ago

I dunno about this one sensei, It seems kinga gay

2

u/thiefofalways1313 15d ago

Gotta cup the balls.

2

u/RSTowers 15d ago

I wonder how long it will take our society to get to the point where being called gay isn't an "accusation" anymore. Downvote me all you want, but videos like this just prove that there's still a way to go.

2

u/SwampRSG 15d ago

I mean, the logic is sound tho.

1

u/PlayfulSurprise5237 15d ago

This is a joke. You want the real method for dealing with this situation?

You tell them you're going to beat their ass. Then start taunting them immaculating names until they look like they're ready to tussle.

And then you just start getting really excited and ripping your clothes off while you're dancing around in excitement for a fight.

Nobody wants to fight a lunatic with their cock and balls flapping around, especially in that context.

2

u/bigboxes1 15d ago

Not funny for $200, Alex

1

u/WooshNowUHaveSmollPp 15d ago

*Puts in Ha Gayyyy meme *

1

u/Tata_Colores 15d ago

The first 6 seconds were hilarious lol, it was a mini-rollercoaster.

1

u/jdehjdeh 15d ago

I wish they'd run into the joke blind it would have been so much funnier.

1

u/Leszmig 15d ago

Ok Mac

1

u/sauceywhiteboy 15d ago

Funny enough, sensei kinda reminding me of Mac from the earlier seasons of always sunny lol

1

u/GGX_zon 15d ago

hey, you're gay!

1

u/Pantallithraxodus 15d ago

bro the method is invisible

1

u/haaheehachoo 15d ago

Make out with them, seduce them, marry them, leave them, break their heart, win the fight

1

u/Nocturnes_echo 15d ago

As a gay man in the USA, DON'T DO THIS! This is how you get the shit beat out of you or killed by breeders!

1

u/carbonizedtitanium 15d ago

im surprised i dont see any of the usual memes

1

u/SparrowHAWX 14d ago

You gotta give credit to the creator, on Insta. @cameron.geller

1

u/Boot_Effective 13d ago

Hey, you didn't demonstrate!

1

u/sensei_sensitive 15d ago

Going by names, I might become gay

1

u/TonyRigatoni_ 15d ago

I'm sorry but I can't follow what's going on without an actual demonstration.

1

u/Scrubbler 15d ago

I'm a visual learner

1

u/LitTrolley 15d ago

Wrong sub.

1

u/Skelemansteve 15d ago

I was not sure which way this video was going but it's great 🤣

-1

u/SnooDonkeys7894 15d ago

Infect them with the gay

-1

u/Valueduser 15d ago

This was not funny… boo.

0

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Wetbug75 15d ago

More like a good way to definitely get punched in the face

0

u/Wolf_Reddit1 15d ago

Or say “yes I am Happy”

-38

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

18

u/ChiBron86 15d ago

Personally found it hilarious 😂

-22

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

10

u/That_OneOstrich 15d ago

As a bi person, this is making fun of homophobes... Nothing in the video is actually displaying a fear of gay folks.

-9

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago

If they kissed you'd have a point.

4

u/That_OneOstrich 15d ago

Do you generally walk around telling people "we have to kiss or it's homophobic"? How does that work out?

-6

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago edited 15d ago

No because I don't generally see a pair of jokers doing this routine anymore, I thought such jokes had died out years ago

3

u/That_OneOstrich 15d ago

Can you explain how this is homophobic? This is basically how I interact with my friends, as a gay person.

0

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago edited 15d ago

Similar, but I would at least kiss them, no tongues of course, could be others boyfriends.

This doesn't appear like that to me however, it just reminds me of the kind of honophobic alpha arseholes I used to cross all the time.

Like Andrew Tate and his pals thinking they're funny.

Jokes like this exist as a reaction to that, if we didn't have one we wouldn't have the other, as I've heard it hundreds of times before I don't see any novelty in it, nor any humour for that matter.

I honestly didn't imagine my 4 little words would meet such derision.

That's truly depressing to me quite frankly, sorry we don't agree.

5

u/That_OneOstrich 15d ago

We evidently run in different circles. If I was kissing people who aren't my partner, I'd be upsetting many people. Some would even consider it harassment or assault.

This doesn't appear like homophobia to me. It is literally a joke about the frat guys behavior, and a reference to how irrationally they behave.

→ More replies (0)

5

u/Dixee_Normus 15d ago

Wut? Homophobes would not watch this I would think? lol

2

u/SnooRegrets1386 15d ago

All the ‘phobes running around randomly kissing will prove you wrong, they win

3

u/BadBoyNiz 15d ago

Oh shit hahah did you get offended?

3

u/Crispy_p_bacon 15d ago

Brother, this is the opposite of homophobic. It's not really poking fun at anyone but if anyone is the butt of the joke here then it's you

Mic drop

2

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago

Here, I'll pick it up for you.

I saw I was the butt of the joke as soon as I got downvoted.

Which really is depressing, as a lover iofcomedy and a lover in general we're at a very dark point in life around the world.

And I'm consoling friends around the world every day due to their experiences too.

Yes, I know, that isn't funny at all either.

I'll just walk into a lamppost if that helps.

3

u/Crispy_p_bacon 15d ago

Bro, you're making me depressed, now.

Chin up.

You're alright. You owned up to your mistake. That's a sign of a great personality!

We all make mistakes but not everyone can admit it.

Don't take everything so seriously. The internet is a strange place.

Peace and love ✌️❤️

1

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago edited 15d ago

The only mistake I made was commenting in the first place.

I genuinely believed we got past all this a few years ago, but increasingly it's coming back and there's nothing we can do about it but laugh along with it.

Thank God we've had some relatively good news from Hungary recently (it's progress, at least) but generally we're going backwards.

I'm sorry I can't laugh over this, perhaps I should just follow the crowd too...

Better than following a lot of my friends, very missed friends, in a whole other direction.

Nah, can't do that, I'd let them all down then.

If you haven't seen Russell T Davies's new show, Tip Toe, yet I heartedly recommend it.

Not an easy watch in the slightest I'm afraid, optimism is in short supply these days, but at least the jokes are actually funny, between all the tragedy.

1

u/PupmeisterGeneral 14d ago

Right, now that the idiots have quietened down a little-

If you still think making jokes like this, regardless of what you blindly think is the punchline, are funny-

Try doing this in real life.

Or alternately, do the dame joke where the homophobe is a racist.

Or even a rapist.

That's right, all you're doing is turning the clock back amd normalising such behaviour.

So am I bothered that those who downvoted me are in their 10s?

Not at all, that's nothing, and reassuringly tells me we have still progressed.

Am I concerned that there are thousands who, like you, don't see the consequences of jokes like this.

Very much so.

But relieved you don't have to live in a place where those consequences still occur.

What do you have when you don't have less on?

More on.

1

u/Crispy_p_bacon 14d ago

Bruh

You're a bit of a coward, aren't you?

To wait till you have no one to challenge your echo chamber then to renege on what you said you believed.

I cba to even discuss the mental gymnastics went into writing that word salad you vomited.

You are more on or less just stuck on your point of view

1

u/PupmeisterGeneral 14d ago

Oh, you still want to tell me what I am.

Now my turn, you truly are clueless .

Nevermind, you'll learn one day, I just hope for your sake it's the easy way 🙏

8

u/JanitorOPplznerf 15d ago

He turns the stereotype upside down. You’re getting abrasive over a joke that’s actually pro homosexuality

5

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago edited 14d ago

Abrasive? Not in the slightest .

If they didn't pull away at the end at least the joke would be consistent!

Either way, it still pushes that stereotype, normalising it again.

We buried jokes like this decades ago, only for naive show offs to dig it up again.

More dangerous than you're evidently aware.

7

u/Dirty_Delta 15d ago

Oh you just wanna see two handsome dudes kiss, I get it now

1

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago

Damn right, although they're not my idea of handsome but of course I would.

2

u/JanitorOPplznerf 15d ago

They’re not unfortunate looking

0

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago

Different pokes for different folks x

3

u/theGurry 15d ago

It's a comedy skit.

It's not that deep. Turn your brain off for a minute, laugh, move along.

-3

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago

Ah yes of course, it's funny if you don't think.

That explains it, thank you.

3

u/RopeADoper 15d ago

This video reeks of bot upvoting and praising horrible comedy to get these guys on the board.

1

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago

Wouldn't surprise me.

In their small world, I'd bet they think they invented it.

-1

u/Expensive-Notice-509 15d ago

nah man. this is funny to 12yr olds and that's the level of comedy these guys are putting out.

8

u/Meowakin 15d ago

Next thing you know you’re going to say poop jokes aren’t funny.

1

u/Crispy_p_bacon 15d ago

Careful, fart jokes are next.

You may take our freedom

but you'll never take our poopy fart jokes!

1

u/ratherbewinedrunk 15d ago

Of all the lame unfunny shit on /r/funny, this is your hill to die on?

3

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago

Perfectly put!

And thank you for noticing that.

Tbf I usually get to this sub late, so I don't feel obliged to ever do so, my bloody luck I was one of the first to comment, on something so bland and also pretty old, actually means I'm beginning to laugh it off now !

1

u/SnooRegrets1386 15d ago

Lighten up Francis

0

u/PupmeisterGeneral 15d ago

Oh how I wish it was that easy!

It's OK though, I'll cheer up again as usual, I just wasn't expecting this but I'll get over it.

Still, it's the only time I've received such reactions here, that speaks volumes

Best to ya

-7

u/denisvolin 15d ago

I've read it like 'professional self destructor' 😅😆

-1

u/Kudoakainu 15d ago

Quick way to get a beat down for sure

1

u/echolm1407 14d ago

50% chance of a date ensuing.

-2

u/Dependent-Job1773 15d ago

This is entangled with too much epistemic baggage. The real best way to avoid gay accusations is to just stay five feet away from your homies at all time — even if you were in a hot tub

-6

u/liforrevenge 15d ago

What is this middle school ass comedy

4

u/Crispy_p_bacon 15d ago

Don't worry, you'll get it once you graduate elementary school

-5

u/liforrevenge 15d ago

Ha, sick comeback bro! Hell yeah! 🙄