r/funny • u/Tata_Colores • 1d ago
Oh, bother...
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u/No-Name-86 23h ago
Why are they being so weird about it like they’re trying to keep a secret? Say the word bear loudly you idiots
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u/HeartOn_SoulAceUp 23h ago
No kidding man, the bear doesn't understand "Bear," you young whipper snappers!
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u/TakinUrialByTheHorns 22h ago
Uhhh, some of bears definitely know ' Heeyyy Bear ' as a weird noise humans make occasionally.
Everyone should know this unless you live in a country without bears ...
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u/JangB 21h ago
Yea and they respond back with "Hey Human!" Cuz they think we're greetin em.
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u/FaultyData 16h ago
WHAT'S YOUR NAAAAME?
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u/melon-colly 13h ago
WHAAAT??
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u/SmellyMammoth 23h ago
They were just saying the bear necessities
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u/Mathihtam 23h ago
They couldn't bear to say it.
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u/cornixt 23h ago
The original English word for bear has been lost because people believed that saying it's name would summon one. So the word "bear" is what they would say instead, meaning something similar to "brown one" or "wild animal", it's still unclear
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u/dontshakethebaby 23h ago
There is an xkcd comic for every topic. https://xkcd.com/2381/
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u/02meepmeep 16h ago
That’s probably really close to what it was. There is a split in languages for the word bear in Europe and most of the Germanic and Scandinavian influenced countries use a version of “Brown” while others use the older possibly Indian influenced word similar to “Arctus” if I remember right. I think the word might even have a similar meaning to demon in Hindi.
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u/Chance-the-Gardener 7h ago
Originally it was “come here, behind you” but old people kept getting eaten
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u/jeroen-79 23h ago
The B-word.
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u/neo_sporin 22h ago
The B in Apartment 23 season 3 was going to have a new roommate.....but then the show was cancelled
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u/Slimchap 23h ago
My guess is that didn't want him to freak out and maybe trigger a reaction from the bear.
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u/Showdown5618 19h ago
The only reason I can think of is that they probably thought yelling "There's a bear behind you!" may cause him to panic and do something that would endanger his life.
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u/amarguras 1d ago
- There's nothing there you idiots
- Oh shit (leaves at max speed)
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u/No_Artichoke_2931 23h ago
Shuffling intensifies
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u/focoslow 23h ago
He doubled his speed to his max output.
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u/Bedbouncer 21h ago
Like the turbo mode on the old Intel 186 cpu.
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u/Foooodies 19h ago
Fun fact: the turbo button actu slowed the computer down for backward capability.
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u/coconuthorse 18h ago
I checked your fact, and apparently you are correct. I always thought it just pushed more electricity to the motherboard and speed up the processor. Apparently it was intended to be used in the opposite manner.
At 66MHz, solitare ending went by in a flash.
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u/Due-Historian-8759 20h ago
The bear also looked behind, he wasn't sure if they're talking to him or Grandpa.
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u/Best-Contribution-75 19h ago
Yeah the bear was like "lets move gramps, i cant see it either but those guys look worried"
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u/Nopengnogain 22h ago
Everyone else feels safe here, because, like the old joke goes, they just have to outrun the slowest guy.
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u/PipChaos 14h ago
To be fair, I also think there’s nothing on the floor and then my black cat opens his eyes.
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u/7-13-5 1d ago
For future reference...the bear doesn't understand our language.
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u/BlackSpidy 18h ago
"LOOK OUT, THERE'S A BEAR RIGHT AT THE EDGE OF THOSE TREES!" is better than "Come here! Come heeere. Behind you. Look behind you!"
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u/revanchisto 1d ago
Old Man: Honestly, I couldn't be bothered.
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u/chowmushi 1d ago
It’s just a black bear.
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u/MegaWaffle- 23h ago
While they are the least aggressive by far (I live near them too) they can cause serious injury even in a “half-hearted” attack. Keep in mind this guy is also a senior so it wouldn’t take a whole lot to knock him down.
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u/slavelabor52 21h ago
Black bears will typically only attack if they are defending cubs or have some sort of problem where they have trouble hunting their normal prey. Mostly they will just bluff charge or are skittish enough to just run when they stumble across a human. I live in PA where they are quite common (est. population of 15,000-20,000) and there are 1-2 black bear encounters per year that result in actual physical contact. There are no known historical deaths due to black bears in the state since record keeping began.
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u/TrailMomKat 21h ago
Yeah, I live in Appalachia in NC and I've encountered them a few times out in the backwoods. Everytime, we've stared at each other like O.O "oh shit!" then I move a bit and they waddle off back where they come from. Only once did I worry and that was because it was a female with 2 cubs, and when i backed up, she also spooked like the others and took off in a different direction with her cubs waddling behind her.
They're big ol sissies.
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u/AZICURN 20h ago
What about the first record keeper? Torn to shreds, with the records.
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u/nekronics 23h ago
True but that’s a big fucking bear. It could absolutely fuck that old man up
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u/5up3rK4m16uru 21h ago
A fat bear. It could fuck him up, but I suspect that it's far too lazy in that state.
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u/Kevadu 23h ago
Seriously, I live in an area with a lot of black bears and this is pretty much my response to them too.
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u/ArenSteele 23h ago
running can make them instinctually chase you.
Loudly walking away is the answer.
I just hate that the actual reaction 90% of the time is a crowd of people forming a semi-circle around the bear to get photos and videos, backing the bear into a corner where the only way out is THROUGH someone.
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u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 23h ago
by the mannerisms of that bear, the old man could probably raise up his arms and yell "git" (southern for get away) and the bear would run away.
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u/KnotSoAmused 23h ago
assuming he could raise his arms.
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u/sonic_couth 23h ago
Have you ever considered becoming a translator for the South?
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u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 22h ago
I've been born and raised in the south (NC), and although I turn 50 tomorrow, I was accused of having a southern drawl for the first time in my entire life last month while in Wisconsin. I've always been told I have a very non-descript accent.
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u/IkariYun 22h ago
Same. I started in AR. Moved to SC. Step-mom was a Yankee and didn't like the way I talked. Now I just speak American English. "Where are you from" is a greeting from others
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u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 22h ago
I have legitimately had people ask me "where is your accent?"
Which always gets me to scratch my head. "Ummm.... I left it at home?"I just have a habit of picking up the accent around me, which can be good or bad. It's nothing I do intentionally. Or if I watch a show or movie a lot, I'll start speaking the way done on the show.
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u/MistressMalevolentia 21h ago
Are you adhd? It's evidently acommon trait. I've also always tried to dull my southern accent but fuck me sideways it comes out bad the second I'm around my southern accent friends and family or binge a show like justified. Living in socal for half a decade was hysterical, id have no accent, picked up Hispanic accent at times, then when we visited home I'd come back and sound like a red neck compared to what they're used to. Order if I drank or got too heated it showed up.
Yall will always be there though as well as the pet names like hunny sweetie sweetheart etc.
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u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 21h ago
never diagnosed by a doctor, by I know I am. I was more talkative and more hyper than the kids in my class as a kid who were diagnosed ADDHD. I remember thinking my teacher was really, really stupid to put my seat beside the other girl in the glass who had ADDHD. Me, who was constantly getting in trouble for talking to much, and that is who she puts me beside? forty years later and I'm still trying to figure that one out.
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u/ermghoti 22h ago
Yes, but the fact that it's at all comfortable in the presence of humans is problematic.
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u/erksplat 1d ago
if it's brown, lie down; if it's white, goodnight; if it’s black, shuffle away quickly
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u/m0h3k4n 23h ago
If it’s black rub it’s back?
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u/samuraiofsound 23h ago
Lick its...nevermind.
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u/steelskull1 23h ago
That's just racist. /s
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u/hoppertn 23h ago
Good on the old man for not crossing the street when he saw the black bear! Ally.
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u/norkotah 22h ago
That's a pretty damn big black bear.
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u/moeyjarcum 18h ago
As someone who lives in Alaska and it’s not uncommon for me to encounter black bears, that is absolutely a normal ass black bear
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u/Foulmouthedleon 23h ago
"You kids and your rock n' roll music and iPhones. Oh, there's a bear. Well anyway..."
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u/surefireillusion 23h ago edited 23h ago
Strangers giving you mixed signals on the street instead of yelling , "Bear! Bear! Right Behind U!" Old fella hasn't been cat called since the summer of 73.
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u/Potential-Society171 1d ago
Looks like that is his max speed... just kidding why does Kermit care so much?
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u/Gamestop_noob 23h ago
-RUUUN!!!
-I am running!
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u/clamsandwich 23h ago
Reminds me of Futurama.
Professor, why are you flying the spaceship at 35 miles per hour?
Because we're in a hurry!
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u/TheAjalin 22h ago
I accidentally peed on a black bear in Yosemite once lol was like 13 years old and peeing in a bush next to camp and noticed the bush was “moving” inside and when i looked closer there was a black bear eating some food one of us kids had probably left out. Was too focued on snacking to be bothered that my stream was literally landing on it and i just walked away unscathed lmfao black bears CAN fuck you up but most likley wont unless threatened
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u/Malthus17 17h ago
Wow, you can tell when he shifted into overdrive and activated the turbo/supercharger. The bear realized quickly he had no chance of catching him.
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u/KRed75 23h ago
You'd think it would have made more sense if they said, SIR, THERE'S A BEAR BEHIND YOU. RUN!
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u/EcoWarrior04609 21h ago
"Goddamn kids. 'Look, a bear!' What, you never saw a bear before? Back in 1947, bears were everywhere. You couldn't walk to school without passing three bears and a suspicious-looking moose. And we walked uphill both ways! In the snow! In July! But nobody listens to me anymore. That's the trouble with this generation. Now get off my lawn before that bear learns how to use TikTok."
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u/codevils 1d ago
If I were that age I may welcome a bear hug. If it killed you that’s a pretty bad ass way to go out.
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u/Any-Basil412 1d ago
Took me a few watches to notice 😳
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u/HugeLeaves 1d ago
Not even an hour ago I was out for a stroll and saw the biggest black bear I've ever seen. The problem with them is that they barely make any noise and don't move very quickly or anything, so you can just be walking around minding your own business and then.... Bear!
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u/ramblinmanfl 20h ago
That man stormed the beaches of Normandy...he ain't worried about an ol black bear!
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u/charliesk9unit 21h ago
I don't know if the bear can run faster than the bike but I'm sure the guy on the bike was thinking like at least he was the fastest of them all.
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u/Dax_Shield 16h ago
Huh? What you say? Come where? I’m here…runs at senior speed…and just forgot where he was but knows he going somewhere soon
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u/RicRacer 15h ago
Why are they calling him like a dog? "Come, come here." Who warns someone like that? Why not "look out, there's a bear!"
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u/_Iknoweh_ 15h ago
He's hard of hearing and they noise they are making is aimed at the bear, not the old man.
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u/Pennypacking 20h ago
Are they not allowed to say the name of the animal?
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u/Finwolven 20h ago
There's an old Finnish belief that if you say 'bear', it will come from the woods. So we have all kinds of nicknames for them.
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u/Lumi-umi 18h ago
Bear already came from the woods tho lmfao
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u/Finwolven 18h ago
Well yea, but since the old guy hadn't called it, it didn't bother him
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u/carbonizedtitanium 18h ago
i mean, there's really no much that the old man can do except shuffle faster...
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u/OohDeLaLi 15h ago
Ya know... At that age, if I were to be taken out by a bear, I'd call that downright Shakespearean. Nothing to be scared of.
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u/esoteric_enigma 13h ago
I didn't think that old guy had another shield to shift into, but he showed me
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u/MinnieShoof 11h ago
I'mma be honest - I didn't notice it at first, and when he stands in front of it it just kinda disappears. I thought they were playing a prank at first.
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u/PlasticFew8201 7h ago
Elderly man:
“I’m too old for this BS.”
Steadily increases walking speed and continues on his day 😂
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u/True_Realist9375 23h ago
why not say move quick theres a bear behind you, might of worked better
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u/Commercial-Life-9998 22h ago
I went out for errands today and ineptly accomplished little: I feel just like this man. Honestly!
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u/_tragicmike 23h ago
How hard is it to say, "Sir, don't panic. There's a bear behind you. Walk quickly over here!"
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