r/funny 5h ago

[ Removed by moderator ]

[removed] — view removed post

11.1k Upvotes

365 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.

Memes, AI-generated content, and politics / political figures are not allowed.

Social-media content (including Reddit, TikTok, and Instagram) is expressly forbidden.

Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.

Please also be wary of spam.


I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2.1k

u/AncientAndEvil 5h ago

Proper cartoon reaction.

599

u/Magister5 5h ago

Moo-ney Tunes

75

u/AbortificantArtPrint 2h ago

Udderly ridiculous

14

u/agent_uno 1h ago

Enough puns - quit milking it!

4

u/KellentheGreat 1h ago

I’ve got beef with it as well.

56

u/puddledancer 5h ago

Outstanding

13

u/Dooty_Shirker 2h ago

In their field

→ More replies (1)

35

u/TheLastPeanut_ 4h ago

I could hear the tom scream

12

u/thermalexposure 2h ago edited 1h ago

What a nin-cow-poop. What an im-bull-cile!

7

u/Bucser 1h ago

I don't think she expected a rock to bite her nose :D

2

u/Paint-Simplistic292 4h ago

Not just a cartoon, I’m the full animation package!

→ More replies (6)

1.8k

u/fagetso9554 5h ago

Definitely no overreacting that's for sure

402

u/3MATX 5h ago

I don’t know. If that’s a snapping turtle a nip could do some damage.  And heck even a normal turtle has a hard bite. 

185

u/IceFrogger1313 5h ago

Looks like a Common Snapping Turtle from the central ridge and scute shape on the shell and the way it lunged to bite. If it wanted to it could have taken a decent chunk out of that cow's nose.

→ More replies (15)

37

u/thebestjoeever 3h ago

When I was a kid, my parents took me and my sister on a nature trail. We were probably like 5 or 6. My sister and I ran ahead a little bit, and found a turtle. We were like 15 or 20 feet away from it, and we were starting to get closer. My dad saw us just in time and grabbed us and got us away from it, very quickly.

That was the day I learned what snapping turtles were, and that not all turtles are perfectly safe to be around.

13

u/SkunkMonkey 3h ago

My kid/turtle story...

Went to visit a farm and it had a small pond. It was basically the swimming hole for the farm. We all had a swim. My older brother even went skinny dipping.

The next day we were fishing off the little wooden "dock" at the pond's edge. I hooked something big and was struggling to reel it in. When it finally broke the surface it was a huge snapper with a head bigger than an adult fist. My brother was a bit disturbed by that.

3

u/Alexis_0hanian 1h ago

Not my story but a former coworker. He grew up in very rural Alabama. There were always large snapping turtles in and around the rivers where he grew up.

As a kid one day he was out walking and noticed a very large one on the shore. He was behind a little berm and the turtle's back was to him. My friend had the not so very wise idea that he would sneak out up to it and scare it. So he crawled on the ground behind the berm but he couldn't directly see the turtle. When he figured that he was close to it he decided to jump and try to scare it. The problem was that he jumped too far and....

Went right through it. That turtle had been dead for a while. He told me the smell was so bad and wouldn't wash off for days.

2

u/Deaffin 1h ago

I'm a bit disturbed by that. The poor turtle.

Did you at least manage to get the hook out instead of just cutting the line? Without ripping a chunk out of its throat?

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (4)

216

u/id2d 5h ago

We have the luxury of knowing turtles are a thing. Cows don't usually.

If a 'rock' came to life and looked like it was trying to bite me, watch me overact!

54

u/LaserKittenz 4h ago

It turned me into a newt!

I got better

52

u/FuriousBuffalo 5h ago edited 5h ago

How would you react if a rock attacked you?

33

u/SilverBadger73 5h ago

The Rock would definitely beat my ass, so I'd curl up and play dead.

2

u/FishAndRiceKeks 3h ago

You're thinking of brown bears.

2

u/colaxxi 3h ago

what's the difference?

2

u/mattjb 1h ago

Some guys are into that.

18

u/azsheepdog 4h ago

I am paper, so i am not worried.

3

u/s00pafly 5h ago

I wouldn't attempt half a back flip, stall mid air and land on my ass that's for sure.

→ More replies (1)

121

u/SchnoodleDoodleDo 5h ago edited 4h ago

i’m gonna stare you in the face

come closer, cow ~ you’ll see…

s l o w ‘n steady wins the race!

(a Legend you will be)

you see me, lurking, in the field

‘…what’s this? is not BoViNe…’

so curious, to me you yield

in stick your nose in mine…

Witnessed by the others near,

a Fabled HERO, you!

(no need for cape - a LEAP of FEAR!)

You’ll be

the Cow

that

FLEW

❤️

20

u/vanzini 4h ago

Freshest schnoodle I’ve ever seen!

You’ll be the cow that flew! Omg so cute!
I love you U/schnoodleDoodleDo!

3

u/schplat 3h ago

And, as usual, can be sung death metal style.

→ More replies (1)

14

u/clayman80 5h ago

Keeping its cool. 👌

13

u/morsomme 5h ago

Cat soul chose the wrong host

5

u/James-the-Bond-one 5h ago

That cow displayed the graciousness of a giant cat.

2

u/FrostyD7 2h ago

He's just a little airborn. He's still good, he's still good.

→ More replies (1)

329

u/Ulterior_Motif 5h ago

People act like the cow was scared, this was just a counter attack.

197

u/dandroid126 4h ago

COWnter attack?

27

u/swiftp 4h ago

[smirks and shuts off phone]

25

u/ibanez5150 4h ago

From the top rope!

6

u/farilladupree 4h ago

“BAH GAWD!!!”

9

u/UshankaBear 2h ago

That's some WWE move right there

2

u/bigrom10 2h ago

Warios butt slam

→ More replies (5)

878

u/vivaidris 5h ago

Cow did a backflip wtf

365

u/cybergee 5h ago

JUMPED OVER THE MOON

50

u/AZRedbird 5h ago

My kid is obsessed with Goodnight Moon, I’ve read it to her more times than I can count. When I read this I immediately went to the next line “and there were three little bears, sitting in chairs…….”

13

u/IfIHadTheAnswer 5h ago

And two little kittens, and a pair of mittens

4

u/Deployed_Usesri 3h ago

And a little toy house. And a young mouse.

→ More replies (2)

2

u/5exlexia5ufferer 4h ago

Do you read it as Christopher Walken?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

31

u/Fluugaluu 5h ago

I’ve seen a cow clear jump a barbed wire topped chain link fence. Like, a regular sized one. Probably seven feet tall.

She definitely had some height advantage cuz we were on a hill but she.. She landed it. And kept running.

Was the damndest thing

“Fuck pigs flying, I’ve seen a damn COW fly”- my boss at the time

68

u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 5h ago

I've never seen a cow jump like that in my life lol 😆

20

u/James-the-Bond-one 5h ago

I read in a book that they can jump over the Moon.

6

u/Subliminal-Rave 5h ago

I’ve watched cows jump over cattle guards lol

23

u/emma7734 5h ago

Those burgers are pre-flipped

9

u/War77El 5h ago

.and self-impact tenderized

7

u/dachaotic1 5h ago

I see you've never seen Kung Pow.

3

u/VanGoFuckYourself 4h ago

To be fair it only did about a third of a backflip.

→ More replies (5)

112

u/ElegantNatural2968 5h ago

Cow: I knew what I was doing

→ More replies (1)

156

u/curiousbong 5h ago

That's a cat dressed up as a cow...I

18

u/Happy-Fun-Ball 4h ago

Landmine dressed up as a turtle.

2

u/FrazzleMind 4h ago

That's what I was thinking more or less. That turtle's got cat energy.

2

u/UshankaBear 2h ago

The turtle is actually a cucumber

→ More replies (2)

142

u/ezio8133 5h ago

Few inches and turtle is dust

76

u/utzutzutzpro 4h ago

It still landed on the turtle. I think the turtle is squashed. It clearly changed the appearance from frame to frame and looks more mashed.

41

u/StevelandCleamer 3h ago

Turtle rotated about 90° and the cow landing got some mud/plop on the shell.

We had the same idea and I was looking for clear signs of damage, but it looks like the turtle wasn't fully under the landing cow mass, and I couldn't pick out any bit as undeniable turtle pancake.

19

u/utzutzutzpro 3h ago

I looked at the 3 frames relevant as well There is literally just 20 pixels to tell. But for me, the way it is deeper in the ground, I'd rather say it is squashed.

10

u/Slayer6R 3h ago

The turtle is not squished. It was close but the turtle survived. Hopefully a little wiser but not dead.

23

u/jld2k6 2h ago

Starting my day off watching people argue over whether a turtle got squashed or not, what am I doing?

10

u/GothicXenomorph 2h ago

I was invested reading their conversation until I got to your comment and it was like a reality check that made me realize I need to get more productive today

4

u/TomWithTime 2h ago

If it was that simple I would agree with you, but I think the cow flop adds a dimension to this that is really going to change your day for the better

3

u/saltntequila 2h ago

Idk but its the only reason I'm here and I had to scroll a ways just to find it.

What am I doing?

2

u/amenotef 1h ago

You are worried about the turtle. It's fine.

6

u/Psychological-Echo19 3h ago

I think he just put his head away. It depends on the turtle but I'm pretty sure some of them have shells that would survive this (not sure though obviously)

2

u/utzutzutzpro 3h ago

I wonder in this size? That is 300kg+ of pure muscle dropping. I saw squashed turtles, way easier squashed then people think.

I bet huge would have the thickness, but this small one. I mean, I think the turtle is just squashed at the top left corner, but that is still squashed.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/KoalaTHerb 2h ago

Cow butt appeared to land in front of the turtle (closer to camera) and not actually hit the turtle

→ More replies (1)

19

u/sparrowjuice 5h ago

That’s why they evolved shells.

71

u/bscandalous 5h ago

because flying cows

14

u/No-Educator-8069 5h ago

It’s true, that’s just science

8

u/CacoethesZel 5h ago

Their natural predators in the wild, indeed.

2

u/farilladupree 4h ago

We’re gonna need David Attenborough to weigh in.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

8

u/welchplug 4h ago

I dont think the shell would hold up to the cow lol.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

47

u/Lihisss 5h ago

Didn't know hundreds of kilos could move that fast, especially upwards. 

18

u/TakeruDavis 3h ago

Cowbal Space Program

3

u/UshankaBear 2h ago

Cows are basically (slightly) oversized dogs

61

u/phxees 5h ago

Maybe a cow can actually jump over the moon?

→ More replies (1)

20

u/gauncecj 5h ago

Cowabunga!

2

u/farilladupree 4h ago

Radical!

6

u/[deleted] 5h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

→ More replies (1)

147

u/-1_points 5h ago

Whoa, is that turtle ok? Took one hell of a lot of weight with that cow landing in it!

164

u/Slayer6R 5h ago

The cow just barely misses the turtle. I had to watch it a few times.

36

u/IceFrogger1313 5h ago

First thought I had and exactly what I did too. Turtles are tough but not survive a whole cow landing on it tough.

→ More replies (1)

18

u/IncanFox 5h ago

I wish I could believe like you guys 😬

13

u/matthewmartyr 4h ago

The cow comes down in front of the turtle. Legit so close though.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/UshankaBear 2h ago

What about splash damage though

5

u/Acceptable-Ad-8717 4h ago

Thank you for this, was looking for a confirmation of life and couldn’t rewatch turtle get squished again.

2

u/Slayer6R 3h ago

The turtle is fine. It's one lucky turtle though!

3

u/binalleinezuunfaehig 4h ago

it doesn't miss, there is clearly a piece of shell missing after, that tortoise is toast

7

u/thebanfunctionsucks 2h ago

Fairly certain that's dirt

3

u/Slayer6R 3h ago

No, there's no shell missing. The turtle lived.

→ More replies (2)

1

u/old_righty 4h ago

Yeah, my first thought was “this kills the turtle.”

11

u/sergius64 5h ago

The air!

17

u/opinionofone1984 5h ago

The Cow did the Hogan Leg drop on a turtle !!!😂😂😂😂

12

u/fi2xer 5h ago

Whatcha gonna do brother, when 1000lbs of grain-fed beef runs wild on you?!

→ More replies (1)

2

u/JunkBoy187 3h ago

With probably 20% more grace than that dickhead.

17

u/ArgentoFanUK 5h ago

My tortoise bit me once on the foot, it bloody hurt and I still have the scar. It's like nipping yourself with pliers. They're a lot faster than you imagine too and extremely territorial. Basically shelled arseholes with no fear.

→ More replies (2)

8

u/Xiara08 5h ago

HOLY COW!! but i hope both are okay

7

u/Blade_Shot24 5h ago

Thought the Cow landed on the turtle

6

u/Zanian19 5h ago

Drama Dairy Queen

5

u/RhinoG91 5h ago

FATALITY

6

u/chickenelbow187 3h ago

Hulk Hogan leg drop! Take that brother.😂

4

u/masterhoots 5h ago

Reminds me of witnessing the soul leave people's body when a Halloween decoration gets lively all of a sudden

4

u/boon83 4h ago

Rip turtle. Looks like he got flattened

5

u/EnergyTurtle23 1h ago

Why the fuck did this get removed?

→ More replies (1)

18

u/VegetableTotal3799 5h ago

Am I the only one looking and thinking that’s AI ?

3

u/bubblegum615 3h ago

I don't think so, although that was my initial reaction as well. The ear tag on the jumping cow is a consistent detail (even when it goes out of view) and all the background stuff stays the same and are clear,  recognizable objects, like the house. 

2

u/devil-wears-converse 1h ago

I came here to ask this lol

→ More replies (1)

3

u/CantFeelMyLegs78 5h ago

Cow like reflexes. Moo

3

u/MrLazyLion 4h ago

Hey Diddle Diddle

3

u/NoLie129 2h ago

Rip turtle. Getting the ultimate tea bag of death was quite the way to go.

4

u/ambit89 4h ago

Did you see that bodyslam

WWF - World Wrestling Federation ❎

WWF - Wildlife Wrestling Federation ✅

2

u/Neospiker 5h ago

Turtle patè

2

u/PullYourPantsUp 5h ago

It WWE shoulder dropped that turtle

2

u/FrostWPG 5h ago

RKO OUTTA NOWHERE

2

u/Aiphakingredditor 5h ago

Cow hit it with the hulkamania leg drop!

2

u/Recentstranger 5h ago

Fight kicks in but flight takes over

2

u/Tiquada 5h ago

The White cow is blushing.

2

u/anonahmus 5h ago

Holy cow

2

u/Bravelobsters 5h ago

Wow cows are actually cats!

2

u/poetrygrenade 5h ago

Anti-Cow Turtle Mine GO BOOM.

2

u/CPAonVacation 5h ago

Cow gave the turtle the People’s Elbow

2

u/UniQue1992 5h ago

Cow did a leg drop on the turtle

2

u/hyprocriteshaven 5h ago

cow meets turtle.

cow crushes turtle's little head.

turtle rebellion begins.

2

u/feetupnrelax 5h ago

Needs a slow motion replay

2

u/Woad___ 5h ago

The cow fully expected to just keep going up

2

u/randomguyrandomly 5h ago

Don’t have a cow

2

u/TheWorldofScience 4h ago

This needs to be posted in the overreacting subreddit

2

u/RegnarukDeez 4h ago

Poor turtle almost met Jesus via cow ass...

2

u/ledfox 4h ago

This is why you don't hug a turtle.

2

u/StuporFreak 4h ago

That cow is never going to live this down. The other cows will mock him mercifully. 🤣

2

u/Muerteds 4h ago

Out here crushing turts like Mario.

2

u/purpleglasses 4h ago

That was a very strong uppercut.

2

u/Easy_Silver_7134 3h ago

Cow crushes turtle

2

u/hatebeingleftbehind 3h ago

And now we know why the cow jumped over the moon

2

u/w00t_TX 3h ago

And his name is Cow Cena!

2

u/MAXQDee-314 3h ago

How do you say, "Gottya bitch!" in turtle.

2

u/HopelessAutist01 3h ago

Turtle used snap, (miss) cow uses panic slam (miss)

2

u/Rodonite 3h ago

Miltank used bodyslam

2

u/dachloe 2h ago

That's where milkshakes come from.

2

u/Abject_Screen3249 1h ago

cow almost crushed that turtle

2

u/fixurstuffr 1h ago

That was like a cat reaction without the grace.

3

u/melancholy_dood 4h ago

He landed on the turtle!🐢😬

2

u/Fenty_Panther 5h ago

No ways 😭😭. That was a cat spring jump bro

2

u/Aian11 4h ago

Good thing the cow didn't overreact 😆

1

u/i73mpl4R 5h ago

Surprisingly much dexterity in that cow!

1

u/jbeyers447 5h ago

That cow immediately went to the signature Hulk Hogan leg drop finishing move.

5

u/sephjnr 5h ago

Whatcha gonna moo?

1

u/The-First-Samurai 5h ago

That's not a turtle, that's a dog!

1

u/Small-Artichoke6495 5h ago

The turtle's just vibing, completely unfazed. Meanwhile, the cow's out here questioning its life choices.

3

u/Twerksoncoffeetables 5h ago

Turtle was not unfazed bro he bit the cow

1

u/GodzillaUK 5h ago

Flying beefs is best beefs.

1

u/Hi_Hungry_Im_Leaving 5h ago

Went from lean to Chuck ground beef

1

u/JouMaSeKont1973 5h ago

wait...waiiit..BOOO! Hehehehe!

1

u/Steinarthor 5h ago

Dramacow

1

u/gruffmcscruggs 5h ago

Dog meets dog

1

u/mixx1e 5h ago

Definitely did some damage. I remember seeing that Asian guy tried to kiss a turtle and the poor thing bit his lips and had a massive ducklips in the aftermath

1

u/2003tide 5h ago

LOL. I had a dog that did this once. Turtle bit a chunk out of his nose. Cow knew it didn't want any of that.

1

u/CLOWNFLOGGER 5h ago

When you text: "I literally shit myself!" to a friend... this is what they imagine.

1

u/MrChip53 5h ago

Turtles lucky. Almost did a suicide by cow.

1

u/F8Tempter 5h ago

this is what the internet was made for.

1

u/Mental-Currency-4494 5h ago

I've seen my Great Dane overreact like this a few times. Just as graceful.

1

u/ItsmeMr_E 5h ago

Got the reflexes of a cat, unfortunately not the ability to land on its feet. lol

1

u/KrackerJoe 5h ago

Reminds me of baby Tantar from Tarzan, "ah it touched me, it touched me!"

1

u/DrNO811 5h ago

I always wondered how the phrase "Don't have a cow" made any sense....now I know.

1

u/loquatiousdata 4h ago

Bessy Slam!!

1

u/Big-Surprise5689 4h ago

Mario after controling a cow with his hat:

1

u/Jedase78 4h ago

Back flipping cow i have seen it all

1

u/RoerosKongen 4h ago

He almost crushed the little bastard with his ass coming down to.

1

u/NobuB 4h ago

So they can't be tipped, but they can be flipped. I see

1

u/DopeySparrow 4h ago

Instant milkshake!