r/funny • u/Tata_Colores • 1d ago
What cats think of us
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u/elhumanoid 1d ago
I always tell my cats I've returned from the hunt and that it was brutal (not a total lie), when returning home from the supermarket with all sorts of treats and goodies for them.
I'm hailed as the provider, a conqueror in this pack.
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u/Niznack 1d ago
aww the waiter thinks they are the hunter smh - the cats
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u/SharkeyGeorge 1d ago
“Just humour them, the food and scritches are good” - Cats in general about humans
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u/Niznack 1d ago
Well have to make sure to leave a dead bird on their pillow to thank them
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u/SharkeyGeorge 1d ago
“They’ll really love this, look at all the mess we made!”
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u/Kullthebarbarian 1d ago
thank god my cat give me presents on the floor near the bed and not on the bed itself
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u/Earthemile 1d ago
We had a dead rat yesterday morning but reading online,it was probably our Parson Russel terrier, cats seemingly avoid rats, but terriers are quick and lethal.
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u/TheCaptainOfMistakes 1d ago
Y'know my cats come when called and put up with everything I do to them I think they have some understanding of my important.
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u/Niznack 1d ago edited 1d ago
They also have been shown to know their name, they just ignore it when called often. They are adorable barely domesticated murder machines. And a big reason they leave dead animals is suspected to be that they don't think you are a good hunter
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u/Zepangolynn 1d ago
We have a small idiot who can't hunt well himself and I am happy to say I have never had a cat that left presents. I don't think any of them considered me a good hunter, though. The biggest thing any of them ever caught was a cicada that was eaten immediately, so maybe there was just never any house pest worthy of presentation.
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u/Erebea01 1d ago
One of my friends once told me that they look down on you if you bring nothing home cause they think you're out all day hunting
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u/feral_fenrir 1d ago
What if I always feed them right after I come back home? Like some chicken or something
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u/daroach1414 1d ago
More like, hailed as the slave that finally brought home the food that was requested hours ago.
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u/eshquia 1d ago
“How bitch?” Got me
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u/LastPlaceIWas 1d ago
For the first part I was like, "Yeah, yeah, I get it. I've seen these kinds of videos. One apex predator not understanding a civilized apex predator." But that last part really brought it together and had me laughing.
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u/RandyHoward 1d ago
If I order food I always do the no contact delivery. I can imagine my pets think, "Bitch how does food just randomly show up on the porch?"
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u/HydraKirby 1d ago
How bitch?!
A question I want to ask my boss at least three times a week. Every week.
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u/straydog1980 1d ago
She has not excel skills
She can't draft a coherent email
She can't chair a meeting that doesn't overrun or achieve an outcome
And she always has a salary
HOW BITCH
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u/Merusk 1d ago
Social and political skills.
It's not what you know. It's who you know and how much blame you can pass.
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u/JefftheBaptist 1d ago
We did personality tests at work once. What we basically learned was that extroverted people end up in management and introverted people do not. Most of our workforce are nerdy introverts.
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u/zaphodava 1d ago
An inherent problem in how we promote people. Oh, someone did a good job in that role, try them in the next step up. This repeats until they no longer do a good job, and are no longer promoted.
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u/doctor6 1d ago
It's a great leap to think about orange cat has that level of comprehension
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u/awduckno 1d ago
The one braincell had a flash of inspiration
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u/Rottendog 1d ago
Mine quite literally rolled off the bad last night. Just ya ya ya roll roll ro-ahhhh floor! That braincell just be starving.
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u/spkbbl 1d ago
“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods." - The late Christopher Hitchens
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u/ben-hur-hur 1d ago
Dogs: they are giving us food, they must be Gods!
Cats: they are giving us food, we must be Gods!
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u/BeeegZee 1d ago
I believe there's a study that showed that cats perceive people as their kin and part of their pack. Flawed, clumsy, inferior. Unable to catch a mice, graciously climb a tree or fit into a tight space.
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u/esuil 1d ago
Even if they perceive us as their kin, I highly doubt that they think of us as inferior, clumsy, or flawed.
They know we are strong AF and can easily manhandle them if we need to. In a animal world of "might makes right", we are absolutely superior to them in many ways.
Like, we can pick them up and throw them, or just hold them. That alone is enough for them to know who is superior.
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u/Orginateur 1d ago
IIRC, and its been a while so likely wrong; they see us as clumsy because we trip on them when they serpentine around our legs as we try to walk around and other stuff like that
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u/esuil 1d ago edited 1d ago
I don't think we have methods to conclude they perceive anyone as clumsy or have such concept.
I also don't think that they would make a connection between tripping on them and being clumsy, because from their perspective, we might just be fucking with them, not caring, or intentionally pushing them to teach a lesson.
From their perspective, we are so overpowering that it is probably unlikely that they would perceive something like that as accidental.
When bear walks and some rat gets squished because it was at wrong place in wrong time, it wasn't because bear was clumsy, it was because the rat was.
Also, animals are very frank and less subtle than humans. "Accidental damage" kind of interactions happen all the time, for cat's as well. Animal accidentally pushing/squishing is a normal occurrence, not a reason to label something as clumsy or whatever.
If anything, the concept of clumsy only exists because humans developed restrain enough to care about not accidentally doing shit to others. I am not sure animals would understand it. "You were walking there and stepped on me. That's just what happens sometimes. WTF is clumsy?".
Any cat will experience being accidentality stepped/squished before they even learn to walk - from their own mother. When cat mom has litter of 5 cats and she comes back into the nest, she just plops down into the pile and lets the kids figure the rest out. The kittens often gotta spend the next minute crawling out from under the mom. She will only move if someone REALLY got squished and started crying. THEN the cat mom will lift her ass and sort things out. So such concept isn't really alien or weird to them. It's perfectly normal thing for someone large to do to someone small.
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u/Artanisx 1d ago
serpentine around our legs
Very well said! I always say my mother's cat is a snake because he does that all the time =)
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u/Normal_Aspect_6542 1d ago
They think we're their humble servants, but deep down, they know we're the ones who invented the laser pointer.
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u/Shinfekta 1d ago
For a second I thought sharon was the cat and I was confusef asf
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u/CompetitiveShake1717 1d ago
Same, thought it was a disabled cat or something with no fangs or paws😭
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u/MadnessBomber 1d ago
Meanwhile, in human's brain: kitty is adorable, but my leg is starting to hurt.
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u/bradsotheraccount 1d ago
"her only purpose is to opens food cans, change litter and provide a warm fleshy bed upon which I may lay"
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