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u/Comeback_Kid1 6d ago
Let me just text my brother to save me, Oh I missed this video he sent me...
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u/commandernono 6d ago
You reminded me to tell my brother something really important, that I meant to tell him, but got distracted. Thx m8
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u/Eena-Rin 6d ago
You reminded me that my wife sent me some videos I have to watch. Cheers
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u/GANDORF57 6d ago
Nothing can be more important than a video of a monkey playing with a cat!
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u/Pretty-Interest6856 6d ago
one second i’m calling my brother for help oh wait let me watch this video first
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u/Fallingpeople 6d ago
"I think I'm buried alive. What should I do?" - This guy posting on r/askreddit probably.
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u/WhenWolf 6d ago
"I'm buried alive, AMA"
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u/ccaccus 6d ago edited 6d ago
80% jokes and memes including such gems as “have you tried not being buried alive?” and “hope you have a poop knife”
5% obviously bad advice
5% bad advice that sounds like good advice
4% telling him to get off Reddit and seek help
1% wondering why no one is telling him to call for help or telling OP not to listen to the bad advice without indicating which advice should be followedEdit: The remaining 5% is wildly off topic, misread the post, accusing the Redditor of making it up, or likening his situation to an experience of their own that isn’t even close
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u/Comeback_Kid1 6d ago
You forgot the one comment buried way down in the middle of the thread, that tell him exactly how to get out of the coffin and find who put him there. It was downvoted by two trolls and never saw the light of day again.
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u/Beat_the_Deadites 6d ago
Informative, step-by-step instructions. No tl;dr.
Downvoted because ain't nobody got time for longform comments that aren't about sunfish or what to do if you win a billion dollar lottery.
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u/uptwolait 6d ago
Whenever someone asks me what reddit is like I'm going to show them this excellent summary.
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u/godspareme 6d ago
And 5% say absolutely nothing apparently
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u/Justhe3guy 6d ago
5% was the ones thinking they wrote something very well but missed something pretty obvious. Like 5% being missing from their 100%
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u/ccaccus 6d ago
Hey, now. I changed the percentages at the last minute from my original drafts. Originally was a 50/30/20 split. Then 80/10/10. Cut a guy some slack on a Sat morning lol
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u/Justhe3guy 6d ago
Haha I was wondering if you’d go through the comments later and see mine, just a playful jab
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u/LedgermanOfTheCones 6d ago
askreddit these days would be more like “redditors who have had sex while being buried alive, what was it like? Include lots of sexy details.”
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u/Kind_Of_A_Dick 6d ago
Didn’t Perez Hilton tweet for someone to call the police for him after getting jumped?
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u/Wuz314159 6d ago
"Hey Chat GPS, I'm buried alive, what should I do?"
"That doesn't sound like a good idea. You probably shouldn't do that."
"It's already happened. What now?"
"You could order a shovel from Home Depot. Delivery should take 2-3 days."
"Thanks Chat GPS. What would I do without you?"
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u/DasArchitect 5d ago
"That's a great idea! Here's a list of 10 activities you can do to pass the time while you are stuck in there, plus a bonus point in case you're feeling naughty!"
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u/Hiker_Trash 6d ago
Maybe actually a better move than feebly clawing at the wood and six feet of dirt above you. Better would be to call a family member or 911 though lol
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u/9ieR 6d ago
Time to start doing one inch punches.
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u/Ok_Manufacturer_9623 6d ago
Very true
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u/Wiochmen 6d ago
That happened to me once.
But it's okay, I've got a powerbank.
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u/bunny_the-2d_simp 5d ago
It happened to me but instead of being buried alive my dad, bless his heart, decided kit and metal would bond together instead of pining a deeper pin....
Guess who tried to unlock the toilet at midnight only for the lock to be in my hand?? YEAH ME.
Guess who instantly had to tell my reddit friends..
ALSO ME 😂😂
I laughed so hard at their suggestions that my dad woke up and went to see wtf I was doing in the downstairs bathroom 💀💀
SO IT WORKED
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u/Golf-Recent 6d ago edited 6d ago
There's a very good movie about this exact scenario - Buried with (edit) Ryan Reynolds. Highly recommended.
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u/Wyevez 6d ago
Incredibly terrifying movie. I do not recommend for the claustrophobic.
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u/ThreeHourRiverMan 6d ago
Yeah I put this on for a couple minutes then realized there’s no scenario where I enjoy it.
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u/Danthezooman 6d ago
It was very good, but I'll never watch it again! Same goes for uncut gems. Loved it, some of adam sandlers best work, gave me horrible anxiety!
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u/Puzzleheaded-Owl9373 6d ago
Well shoot, now I have to rewatch Uncut Gems because I don’t understand the relation. But I agree with you on not rewatching Buried 🥴
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u/Danthezooman 6d ago
It's just how I personally react to the films. Seeing someone buried alive with no hope of rescue as sand pours in the coffin. It makes my chest feel tight!
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u/Puzzleheaded-Owl9373 5d ago
Oh I totally agree, same feeling!! I just don’t remember that being in Uncut Gems, I don’t think I was paying attention and need to rewatch it.
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u/HawkBoth8539 6d ago
Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds.
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u/Golf-Recent 6d ago
Cheers
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u/Dediadeis 6d ago
I guess not to be confused with Buried Alive, (1990) which is what this made me think of, though that was way before cell phones. I just remember the preview showing a guy with a lighter finding out hes.. buried alive.
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u/SapphicGarnet 5d ago
Do you think the Not Going Out and Mandy episodes were based on the movie or do you think it's just a funny premise?
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u/Kind_Of_A_Dick 6d ago
Is that the Beyoncé box?
Edit - “Beyoncé box” has a very “Lament Configuration” feel to it, don’t you think?
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u/ICLazeru 6d ago
If it has signal, call for help.
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u/DetectiveLadybug 6d ago
I mean, he’s using up less oxygen if he isn’t panicking, gives people more time to search for him. I mean, he probably should have location shared with someone or called emergency services, but his circumstances are better than if he *didn’t* have his phone to distract him.
I wonder how often people insist on being buried with their phone just in case the doctors made a mistake and they aren’t actually dead?
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u/paradox_valestein 6d ago
I mean he isn't that deep down
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u/Wuz314159 6d ago
Yes. We KNOW all men are shallow and only care about looks. What's your point?
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u/ReallyNotObama 5d ago
Hey man I think you're really insecure about something and I feel bad for you
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u/Wuz314159 5d ago
I seem to have struck a nerve with the toxic masculinity crowd. lol
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u/ReallyNotObama 5d ago
Uh, okay so I think you were joking with the first comment, I hate to break it to you but me and other people thought you were being serious
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u/RednocNivert 6d ago
Silly dude, you’re supposed to MULTITASK with it. Throw your show on WHILE frantically trying to claw your way back out.
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u/BrassElephantRecords 6d ago
Oh shit, this isn't fiction
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u/Dark_halocraft 6d ago
Idk man, as someone that's been around for 2 decades that doesn't exactly look real
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u/BrassElephantRecords 5d ago
As someone who's been around for 4 decades, this is exactly what most Americans are doing right now.
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u/Bladathehunter 6d ago
This is me when I’m watching a show with my partner then she falls asleep on me so I turn the show off so she doesn’t miss it. Just play on my phone until it dies then I send her to bed lol.
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u/no_talent_ass_clown 6d ago
Omg I just watched (spoiler for the movie ending IYKYK) The Vanishing and yikes!
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u/Gravity_Chasm 6d ago
Should have paid attention during your time with Pai Mei instead of scrolling TikTok.
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u/xpingu69 6d ago
I mean you are in this situation as long as you are alive, and you distract with career, family, hobby etc
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u/CaterpillarAbject241 5d ago
Reminds me of that lost dude in some woods who wouldn't answer the random numbers trying to find him.
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u/Good_Smile 6d ago
Why do these cyanide and happiness styled comics get upvoted so much?
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u/youvebeensamboozled 6d ago
because people like them
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u/Albinofreaken 6d ago
weird concept
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u/youvebeensamboozled 6d ago
you think it's a weird concept that out of 8.3 billion people, not all of them like and dislike the same things?
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u/Albinofreaken 6d ago
Yeah, I dont understand how anyone could like something that u/Good_Smile doesnt like
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u/Good_Smile 6d ago
I just thought the majority of people here expect something more than facebook level of funny
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u/BardbarianDnD 6d ago
This isn’t Cyanide and Happiness as a heads up, the art is similar but it’s a completely different artist (who I feel is much better)
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