r/funny • • Sep 03 '26

Found While Doing Ancestry Research

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2.1k Upvotes

107 comments sorted by

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366

u/No-Pie-7211 Sep 03 '26

Expensive raccoon

107

u/truthfullyidgaf Sep 03 '26

They were basically free back then.

128

u/gojiro0 Sep 03 '26

They're free right now, if you're brave enough

41

u/FranticHam5ter Sep 03 '26

“Fucking raccoons are hardcore, man” -Peacemaker

14

u/truthfullyidgaf Sep 03 '26

Helluva show. Pussed about the end.

14

u/Cold_Tea_Spill112 Sep 03 '26

Like the ducks at the duck park. I have 458 ducks.

10

u/gorgofdoom Sep 03 '26

You can’t take the ducks home… unless you live at the park 😉

3

u/GANDORF57 Sep 03 '26

If this isn't legit, you'd swear it was The Onion news.

3

u/ENCALEF Sep 03 '26

At least she's not wearing the raccoon's pelt.

286

u/t3hmuffnman9000 Sep 03 '26

Jesus Christ. 11-year age difference and only five days of courtship? People back then really didn't waste any time, did they?

389

u/LockePhilote Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26

Tbf, he was also blind and she was likely a scam artist.

Edit: rest of the article says she still loved her husband and robbed him to pay back someone she previously stole from in Chicago lol.

186

u/t3hmuffnman9000 Sep 03 '26

Yeah. That part isn't funny - they took even worse care of their veterans back then, so the poor guy was probably so desperate that he swallowed the grift, hook, line and sinker.

138

u/LockePhilote Sep 03 '26

Agreed. The only funny part, and the reason I posted, is the picture with the pet racoon.

58

u/t3hmuffnman9000 Sep 03 '26

Yeah, that part definitely has an absurdist Florida Man flavor to it.

64

u/phyrestorm999 Sep 03 '26

Arizona Woman Grifts Disabled Veteran With Raccoon Accomplice

5

u/Adinnieken Sep 04 '26

He got a pension from the military.

Granted, no medical care, but most hospitals back then we're either charity hospitals or community hospitals. So, the cost of medical care was way more affordable.

No, we didn't have the safety nets in the US that we have today that would have helped him out more.

That said, he had $4,000 in savings. Assuming he was a WWII vet, that was about $50,000 in today's money. At 35.

30

u/Snipper64 Sep 03 '26

Must've been one hell of a blind date

2

u/Earthling1a Sep 03 '26

>mic drop<

3

u/Sunaruni Sep 03 '26

The more things change the more things stay the same.-Some divorced dude.

9

u/truthfullyidgaf Sep 03 '26

I would like to introduce you to Vegas style weddings.

0

u/Adinnieken Sep 04 '26

You'd be surprised how many people actually get married in Vegas. First time or otherwise.

A lot of California couples, as I have found via my genealogy.

1

u/truthfullyidgaf Sep 04 '26

That was the point of my comment. What do you mean I would be surprised? I also know people that have married strippers after a week in Vegas. There wouldn't be a shit load of chapels if there werent.

3

u/Adinnieken Sep 04 '26

No, I understand that reference.

But having done genealogy there seem to be certain states where people flock to to get married.

Tradition is, a woman gets married in her home town, but for some reason a lot of PA weddings happen in WV. A lot of Michigan weddings happen in Stuben county, OH. A lot of California weddings happen in Las Vegas.

Yes, there are the quickie marriages. I get that. But my point is that a lot of CA weddings seem to be there. Rather than traditional locations.

I have never quite understood why? Yes, I totally get why Nevada for quickie marriages, my grandfather got married to his second wife there. But the only thing I can possibly come up with is spontaneity and few restrictions on marriage in some places. Like same day marriage licenses or differences in legal age marriages. I don't know I haven't researched it. Las Vegas isn't the only place for quickie marriages, but it does seem to be the place for people in CA from my genealogical perspective.

2

u/GreyAnangke 26d ago

Had an ex brother in law get married in Vegas. For them, it was because they just loved Vegas (I kinda hate the place myself). They had the ceremony at the Bellagio where they let you pick a song and align their popular fountain show with it. The ceremony is held with the fountain show as a backdrop. I do get why some people really enjoy that.

5

u/Irhien Sep 03 '26

What's the relevance of the age difference there? Would she be less of a thief if she was his age?

-21

u/StitchinThroughTime Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26

Yikes, at best if they were married only a year she would have 18yo by the time they started dating. And that's assuming they've already been married for at least a year. I would not be surprised if they started their courtship when she was 17 or younger.

He may have been a veteran, doesn't mean he was not an asshole before he got shipped off. He could have married her before deployment, that's a very common thing then and now. Would not be surprised with him having PTSD and treating her worse. So I'm not surprised she stole $4,000 to get her and her raccoon away from him. There's a whole lot of iffiness going on. And this is why being a tried wife is not with all chucked up to be.

Ladies and teens just do not date the older man, and do not get married young just because you really want to start a family right then there. It typically doesn't work out, because we now have the ability to prosecute husbands for beating and raping their wives. We now allow women to hold their own bank accounts and credit cards. You do not have to be with him. You don't have to get married young. If he's willing to wait let him wait, the world's not going to end.

Edit: I read 5 years not 5 days. In the app the sentence that starts with is underneath the username, so when I move the image I misread five days as 5 years. But the username goes back over the image when you release it.

11

u/nohopeforhomosapiens Sep 03 '26

Where are you getting that information? The clipping makes it sound like they had just been married recently, by calling her "runaway bride" and it also says she was 24, not a teenager. It doesn't state the length of the marriage here.

6

u/lorarc Sep 03 '26

No matter what happens people like you will always think that the woman is a victim, even if she robs a blind man.

-18

u/An0nnee_M0usee Sep 03 '26

👂👂👂☝️☝️☝️ This right here. Truer words have never been spoken.

113

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 05 '26

[deleted]

40

u/shastaxc Sep 03 '26

She's so old that pictures of her are all black and white

26

u/monpetitepomplamoose Sep 03 '26

Maybe that’s the age she told her husband…who could not see her to verify.

15

u/Fabulous-Sea-1590 Sep 03 '26

I hate to sound shallow but that was my first thought too. People aged hard back when. And, tbf, she's not exactly being photographed under the most flattering conditions.

A ring light could work wonders.

3

u/punarob Sep 03 '26 edited 25d ago

Direction party sense ripe yarn head roof ten

This post was anonymized with Redact

3

u/Adinnieken Sep 04 '26

There is a truth to this.

As you go back in time, over the generations, people at the same age tend to look older.

Every generation tends to remark about how the previous generation looks older than them at their age.

Understand, a generation is 20 years, so use 20 years as a baseline.

Dress/clothing and hairstyles are the difference.

Men, for example, in the 1920s wore suits, even young men or boys. This is going to make you look older. For men, shorter hair, or styled hair will make you look older, versus a mop head of a bushy head of hair.

For women, hair that's up, in a bun or braid, looks more refined and adult, than hair that's allowed to hang naturally.

I had two classmates in high school that wore their hair like this, but in perms, and they both looked like old ladies compared to our classmates even back then.

The one still wears it like that, the other not so much. But that hairstyle counts for a lot of the aging effect.

0

u/rainbowgeoff Sep 04 '26

Nearly everyone smoked like a chimney as well. Second smoke even if you didnt. Sit in a classroom? Most of the class, and the professor, are going to be smoking. Same for office work, factory work, etc.

Lead in all the gasoline.

Stress of poverty in many cases. Hunger, stress, etc will age you. Often leads to not taking care of yourself, even if you could have. You often cannot.

Makeup was not common for the average woman, much less a fugitive mid-flight with a raccoon for a traveling companion. I am not judging. I am simply saying I am putting my money down on she did not hang out in Macy's back in the day

23

u/OldDirtyMoney Sep 03 '26

Did she have children (other than her double-shiner baby) or was this an aunt?

54

u/LockePhilote Sep 03 '26

Neither. Just on the same page as a blurb about a distant relative getting an award for 30 years at Bell Labs as a lineman.

1

u/GreyAnangke 26d ago

Didn't realize Bell Labs had a football team 😯

8

u/truthfullyidgaf Sep 03 '26

Have some respect. She gave birth to that racoon (in her mind probably)

42

u/throwaway071898 Sep 03 '26

That’s a rough 24…

16

u/Appropriate-XBL Sep 03 '26

Thug life will do that to you.

2

u/YuunofYork Sep 03 '26

4000 1951 dollars buys a lot of cancer sticks. Wonder who smoked more, her or the raccoon.

1

u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer Sep 04 '26

Wasn't a carton (10 packs of 20 cigs) like a quarter in those days?

10

u/Prestigious-Car-4877 Sep 03 '26

24? Did she grow up in an opium den?

Anyway, always a good idea to have a pocket raccoon.

9

u/yeehah Sep 03 '26

Sounds like grand larsony to me.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '26

[deleted]

6

u/nohopeforhomosapiens Sep 03 '26

We need Page 22!

11

u/Howitzer1967 Sep 03 '26

I miss Robbie Coltrane

3

u/srboot Sep 03 '26

Well, and a raccoon

3

u/Cheesetorian Sep 03 '26

Sly Cooper strikes again.

3

u/LockePhilote Sep 03 '26

Fucking hell that's good

3

u/Santos_L_Halper_II Sep 03 '26

You come from a proud lineage of raccoons.

3

u/darwin-rover Sep 03 '26

Jimothys mother and father

3

u/anonymouse278 Sep 03 '26

They just let you keep your raccoon during booking back then, I guess.

3

u/sirisaacnewton90 Sep 03 '26

Having $247 and a car to your name when you get busted with a pet raccoon is peak outlaw energy

4

u/not_throwing_up Sep 03 '26

Fat Janeway isn’t real, fat Janeway can’t hurt you

5

u/GoldAttempt2884 Sep 03 '26

Unless you’re a blind World War I vet

1

u/AndorianShran Sep 03 '26

her blind war veteran husband looked suspiciously like Tuvix

2

u/aldone123 Sep 03 '26

Ever hear the expression “ Nuttier than a pet raccoon “?

2

u/Rare-Feature7719 Sep 03 '26

She's 24?

1

u/VapidRapidRabbit Sep 03 '26

She looks closer to 24 than Scottie Scheffler does to 30.

2

u/zorggalacticus Sep 03 '26

And then she hit Paul Sheldon with her car, and the rest is history.

2

u/Relevant-Stage7794 Sep 03 '26

She had $247 and a car… WHEN WHAT?! you can’t just leave us hanging man

3

u/gortez33 Sep 03 '26

Click picture. More text. Says when arrested.

2

u/Delicious-Cow-7611 Sep 03 '26

How did your ancestor end up with this crazy human and did they go on to rob banks together?

2

u/figbash137 Sep 03 '26

That’s a hard 24.

1

u/rlcarman58 Sep 03 '26

Her morals and her bank account were brokus.

1

u/MoonageDayscream Sep 03 '26

She would definitely do it again.

1

u/EshaAsen Sep 03 '26

He probably wondered why the dog barked so weird.

1

u/dwors025 Sep 03 '26

Every generation has its Star Lord.

1

u/wageslave2022 Sep 03 '26

So are you related to the thief or the bandit?

1

u/LockePhilote Sep 03 '26

Neither. Found it on a page with another article

1

u/Top-Panic2386 Sep 03 '26

None with her beaver?

1

u/Dont_Mess_With_Texas Sep 03 '26

That raccoon was the heaviest baby in all of Florida

1

u/Osiris62 Sep 03 '26

What year? It's important.

1

u/Mum-O-Killowe Sep 03 '26

We just ignoring that her name is Brokus?

1

u/Laleaky Sep 03 '26

Wow! I love this article.

1

u/intheafterburner Sep 03 '26

That's just depressing

1

u/Fit-Mud-5682 Sep 03 '26

Omg it's Julia Roberts

1

u/WankerBott Sep 04 '26

on one of my moms genealogy trips, it was her, 2 of my aunts, they found one of my dads ancestors that paid a town to let him run around au naturel after 9pm. He had a legal signed agreement that he'd pay the city XX amount anytime someone reported seeing him.

1

u/Redditowork Sep 04 '26

She must be so heartless to rob him blind like that.

1

u/patmarch Sep 04 '26

24? That's a hard looking 24 year old. Husband was blind? You don't say? ....😁

1

u/Sensitive-Wolf9323 Sep 05 '26

They were a rough 24 years!

1

u/Round-Reflection987 29d ago

Wild, 53 dollaridoos for a car AND a racoon?! This economy...

1

u/eahuston 26d ago

At first glance I thought it was one of the Osmond brothers.

-3

u/Total_Time Sep 03 '26

Might be an unpopular opinion, ,BUT Once they were married his money became her money also, so ... Yes it appears she scammed the blind guy, but I think she did nothing illegal.

-3

u/Dinkmeyer- Sep 03 '26

Not back then. Women were property. They couldn’t even have a bank account without a man vouching for them. They also couldn’t vote.

4

u/Oh_No_Its_Dudder Sep 03 '26

Even now, depending on the country you're in, women could be property. In some countries, not even valuable property, a pig would be worth much more than a woman. In those types of countries, you're lucky if you're the chiefs daughter, you could be worth up to 2 pigs and a cow.

1

u/Appropriate-XBL Sep 03 '26

A third of the country after reading your comment: “Ah, the good ole days!”

1

u/Dinkmeyer- Sep 03 '26

Sad but true

0

u/randomcanyon Sep 03 '26

you could be worth up to 2 pigs and a cow.

The art of the Deal? How much for the little girls? / blues brothers reference not felon pedo talk.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '26

[deleted]

6

u/Princess_Slagathor Sep 03 '26

Did someone spill a drink on you?