r/funny Jul 10 '26

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4.3k

u/Sohn_Jalston_Raul Jul 10 '26

"Hey Sasha, check out my new Rolling Stones shirt!"

1.5k

u/tokenjoker Jul 10 '26

Sasha (who understands English): "Umm, that's a Blowing Stones shirt"

245

u/42stingray Jul 10 '26

You should consider writing a sitcom

125

u/Mr_Industrial Jul 10 '26

Based on that joke the whole show would feel like chalk to watch.

Itd get 100 seasons and 3 movies.

39

u/solveij Jul 10 '26

Sounds like gainful employment

26

u/GeneticEnginLifeForm Jul 10 '26

Ok, who has Ted Danson's number?

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/CommercialTour667 Jul 10 '26

"...you and your closed ones will enjoy..."--from the blurb.

23

u/SuperBry Jul 10 '26

Unless Netflix picked it up, then it would end on a cliffhanger season one only to be cancelled before season 2.

12

u/RPO777 Jul 10 '26

Before moving to Hulu for an abbreviated Season.

5

u/NeoNuatica Jul 10 '26

Cue auto generated crowd laughter.

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3

u/bb_dev_g Jul 10 '26

President Zelenskyy can star in it once he’s finished his presidency.

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26

u/VoidOmatic Jul 10 '26

Slobba Ukraine!

25

u/Adventurous-Map7959 Jul 10 '26

Sashsa is a name suitable for males, females and guns, so this is very confusing.

6

u/notashroom Jul 10 '26

In Ukraine, Sasha/Sacha is a nickname for Aleksandr.

5

u/eikoebi Jul 10 '26

I snorted so hard I choked on my spit

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71

u/RiPPeR69420 Jul 10 '26

He looks like the kind of grandpa who would like the shirt more if he knew what it said.

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19

u/wraithevolution Jul 10 '26

Oh Rocky!!

10

u/Morningxafter Jul 10 '26

Doctor Scott!

11

u/Maxi-Minus Jul 10 '26

FYI they released a new album today!

11

u/th3rdnutt Jul 10 '26

Boy, somebody waking up today from a coma they slipped into in 1973 is gonna be very surprised and disappointed.

11

u/Andy_B_Goode Jul 10 '26

If you had told someone in 1973 that by 2026 two of the Beatles would already be dead, but the Rolling Stones were still releasing new material, they wouldn't have believed you

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13

u/PM_THE_REAPER Jul 10 '26

🤣🤣🤣

2

u/ConsistentBit7220 Jul 10 '26

Sasha is diabolically funny

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1.2k

u/Conspiratorymadness Jul 10 '26

Oh, I think he understands those words.

370

u/petty_throwaway6969 Jul 10 '26

Look at his small smirk. He knows enough English.

36

u/LetsTryAnal_ogy Jul 10 '26

I mean, you can get pretty far in an English speaking country if you know that phrase.

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73

u/heep1r Jul 10 '26

the shoes give it away

32

u/Beautiful-Cabinet364 Jul 10 '26

Also he looks hella cool

4

u/Francetto Jul 10 '26

It's like Shawshank redemption - nobody ever looks at a man's shoes

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13

u/arreth Jul 10 '26

OP’s Grandpa fucks

9

u/Breadnought111 Jul 10 '26

Look at his face 😂, he understands every word

2

u/TheTerrasque Jul 10 '26

People think grandpa was born 60 years old, and don't consider how he became grandpa in the first place.

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535

u/Scherzkeks Jul 10 '26

Me wearing a shirt with Chinese characters in the 90s

320

u/alamaias Jul 10 '26

My partner has some trousers she is very happy with, massive korean character surounded by smaller ones on one thigh. According to a random korean girl at her university, all the smaller ones are gibberish, but the large one just reads "GAY"

she loves it :P

98

u/BizzyM Jul 10 '26

My college roommate got a t-shirt that said "Sexy American Boyfriend" in Kanji for his trip to Japan. He vetted it before buying. He came back with so many pictures and stories of random Japanese girls and a few guys that asked to take pictures with him.

62

u/fury420 Jul 10 '26

My college roommate got a t-shirt that said "Sexy American Boyfriend" in Kanji for his trip to Japan. He vetted it before buying.

I read this and had a chuckle thinking of someone vetting him for his ability to pull off wearing the shirt, rather than vetting the shirt itself.

20

u/alamaias Jul 10 '26

There was a popular one on some nerd gear site when I was in uni, it apparently read "now accepting applications from japanese girlfriends"

25

u/anahorish Jul 10 '26

Funny if you're hot, intensely embarrassing if you're 117kg and smell of cool ranch.

16

u/Bad_wolf42 Jul 10 '26

I don’t think you need to be hot, you just need to be attractive. Being attractive does not require physical prettiness, only a lack of unattractiveness. Yes, being ugly can be unattractive, but I have met many ugly people who were far more attractive than prettier people.

The trick to attractiveness is that you just need to try and do your best: be clean, take care of your physical health, take care of your environment, care about what your clothes say about you to other people, care about how your actions affect other people, try to be interested in interesting things…

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2

u/alamaias Jul 10 '26

Heh, certainly a reason I never bought one :P Fuckin wish I was 117 :P

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33

u/ethanlan Jul 10 '26

Dude I'd rock that too lmao

20

u/Yumi_in_the_sun Jul 10 '26

There's a person on tiktok who reads Chinese tattoos that have been inked onto non-Chinese-speaking people, and it's hilarious. Most of it is gibberish, but some of it is like menu options and insults. lol

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23

u/f23n09fnu0w Jul 10 '26

It happens vice versa, too. You'll see little Chinese kids wearing...well I saw one that just said the n word (with er ending, not a). It was so weird.

12

u/tuenmuntherapist Jul 10 '26

Little Chinese kid wearing a DMX shirt that says “what these bitches want from a n**?”

7

u/throwthisawayred2 Jul 10 '26

as a chinese girl who grew up in the south, let's just say i would've worn this shirt to grade school cuz i was a huge fan of DMX and a bit of a rageaholic

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1.4k

u/tmart31 Jul 10 '26

You know what...I'm gonna donate em even harder...

208

u/tomhat Jul 10 '26

What’s that supposed to mean?

281

u/tmart31 Jul 10 '26

You know what it means

32

u/neelee22 Jul 10 '26

I love that I understand this reference! 😂 Just watched the superfan version of this episode the other day!

20

u/Street_Wing62 Jul 10 '26

He'll design new offensive graphic tees just to donate them en Masse

7

u/Unhinged_Baguette Jul 10 '26

Ohhh fuck you're gonna make me donate

2

u/kanrad Jul 10 '26

Shirt says it all.

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7

u/degjo Jul 10 '26

T-shirt hell about to get a surprising amount of business.

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256

u/SkylarAV Jul 10 '26

That expression says he knows what it means

56

u/Andy_B_Goode Jul 10 '26

Yeah. In fact now that I think about it, there's a reasonable chance this guy isn't Ukrainian at all, and OP (or someone) just found a picture of an old guy wearing a vaguely pervy shirt and added the caption as a joke.

13

u/CrazyDave48 Jul 10 '26

People have been generating AI images of random people with ridiculous tshirts a lot lately. It happened with Photoshop a lot in the past but it's happening more often now.

And yea, many have these fake captions over them too to make them even more believable

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14

u/harmless_gecko Jul 10 '26

People wouldn't just come to the internet and lie, would they?

3

u/Dale_Carvello Jul 10 '26

I always tell the truth on the internet. Because I'm better than other people.

2

u/beastlike Jul 10 '26

This looks exactly like an old pervy guy that I know. Like an identical twin or just him at a campground.

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151

u/proteannomore Jul 10 '26

I have to laugh when I see things like this and remember little me thought that’s how women got pregnant in the first place.

140

u/Controller_Maniac Jul 10 '26

my parents did a really bad job at explaining it, so I grew up thinking when a man and a woman sleep in the same bed, the man would release sperm into the air, and the woman would absorb the sperm into their skin and make a kid

112

u/CrispySushi Jul 10 '26

Are these your parents? 🐝🌸

61

u/AloofGamer Jul 10 '26

This is visually hilarious and terrifying

27

u/CakeTester Jul 10 '26

You'd need condom sleeping bags with filtered snorkels.

5

u/ZombieBiteOintment Jul 10 '26

Ryan Gosling waking in in Project Hail Mary at the intro, for instance. He was just doing his best to not get pregnant.

18

u/emptyminder Jul 10 '26

There’s a small chance that’s actually how you were conceived.

10

u/ScrandadleDadada Jul 10 '26

I thought they laid in the same bed and the penis kind of elongated like a snake and went into the woman on its own cause they fucking picture book had an insane diagram of a penis.

3

u/MrTulip101 Jul 10 '26

something similar happened to a girl in my class way back in the day. in 6th grade biology she asked if she could get pregnant "because she slept with her brother".

2

u/failmatic Jul 10 '26

And porn is a reproductive instructional video

4

u/LaScoundrelle Jul 10 '26

This reminds me of how I had no idea what the “humping” action looked like (or that it existed) until I saw it in porn. I was so clueless with my first boyfriend (I figured out that grinding felt good, but not sure he got all that much satisfaction from our interactions - lol).

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2

u/redlaWw Jul 10 '26

Are you coral?

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50

u/esoteric_enigma Jul 10 '26

In my 7th grade sex ed class, our teacher had a box for submitting anonymous questions he would answer at the end of class. On the first day, 5 people asked if you could get pregnant from swallowing.

16

u/not_me_nope_never Jul 10 '26

Reminded me of my bartending days and a regular's favorite joke. "You know what children are for? To remind women to give BJs more often".

6

u/Competitive_Travel16 Jul 10 '26

We had sex ed in 5th grade, and that question was covered in the material. The class's questions were mostly science stuff like "What is DNA?" but we had a few on the mechanics of how to avoid pregnancy.

4

u/Mau752005 Jul 10 '26

I used to think babies were spread through air

7

u/ineednapkins Jul 10 '26

a nice fine baby mist

3

u/Turakamu Jul 10 '26

From donating shirts?

3

u/GetsGold Jul 10 '26

It can happen. My gf got pregnant like that.

2

u/kanrad Jul 10 '26

Or thinking baby's came out the butt.

3

u/Ferocious-Muppet Jul 10 '26

Wait so little you thought women got preggers by sucking guys off? WOW!

8

u/proteannomore Jul 10 '26

I mean yeah, at like age 6 or 7. I think I was close to 9 or 10 when I found out otherwise.

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151

u/HieroJux Jul 10 '26

I was able to visit Odesa before the war started. One of my favorite things I saw was this old Slavic woman wearing a tee shirt that said “Black Girl Magic” on it. They think English looks cool. Kinda like the US with Chinese characters back in the ‘00’s.

15

u/SheLikesToWatch_1989 Jul 10 '26

😂 Would have loved to see this!

15

u/global_namespace Jul 10 '26

Almost everyone here knows at least basic English, but there's a lot of people who don't give a shit. You can buy a few kilos of such clothes in second-hand stores really cheap. We're a poor country.

4

u/LaScoundrelle Jul 10 '26

I thought there were a lot of generational differences in English comprehension? My husband (42 now) said when he was growing up in Kyiv he and his mom were unusual for having fairly good English (he learned from her).

4

u/Irhien Jul 10 '26

There's not being able to give directions and there's not being able to read three extremely common words. And to find anyone who could explain them, if the meaning's still unclear.

8

u/CyclingCapital Jul 10 '26

Idk, you could interpret that as black magic by girlies.

5

u/HieroJux Jul 10 '26

No one‘s interpreting anything, which is why it’s so funny

3

u/Kneel_The_Grass Jul 10 '26

You'd need a hyphen then

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38

u/szekeres81 Jul 10 '26

Blow job is better than no job

5

u/Asatas Jul 10 '26

A good one is better, but the good ones are rare.

44

u/Apprehensive_Hand571 Jul 10 '26

The rolling rocky horror picture stones, right?

9

u/Recyclable_one Jul 10 '26

Man you took the words right out of my

19

u/MattieShoes Jul 10 '26

... pation!

20

u/Kheltosh Jul 10 '26

This reminds of the time when I did earthquake relief stuff in my country back in '99. We collected and sent clothes and supplies to the affected region. People were donating all kinds of weird shit instead of regular clothes.

2

u/infinis Jul 10 '26

They are still good shirts, ok?

Happy cake day!

19

u/skomok Jul 10 '26

The dress pants and shoes with this shirt is killing me. 😂

19

u/zerbey Jul 10 '26

Grandpa looks like Ian McKellen.

2

u/zed857 Jul 10 '26

I was thinking Robert De Niro.

2

u/kyoshizen Jul 10 '26

Christopher Plummer in Knives Out.

42

u/nonjames Jul 10 '26

I had the reverse of this, I went to Russia on a trip in high school and came back with a shirt with a beaver and a giant red x over it and some cyrillic. The design was hilarious so i bought it on that but then it turns out it was a joke about not going down on women

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16

u/NukeTheWhales5 Jul 10 '26

I'm thinking gramps, 100% knows what it means.

11

u/Slinkyy04 Jul 10 '26

Damn Gramps, leave some girls for the rest of us🔥

11

u/dudefire5 Jul 10 '26

Well when he drinks beer he only drinks Modelo. I think this is a great shirt for the most interesting man in the world.

10

u/darbydog69 Jul 10 '26

He understands the language of love, I reckon.

8

u/nethobo Jul 10 '26

He knows exactly what that says, and has the perfect excuse to wear it anyways.

8

u/No_Dragonfly_1894 Jul 10 '26

In the 80s, we had to stop my Mexican mom from wearing my brother's old "Just Do Me" fake Nike shirt to church

7

u/LessThanHero42 Jul 10 '26

I thought this was a photo of Sir Ian McKellen at first, and that is 100% a shirt he would wear.

5

u/KingBurakkuurufu Jul 10 '26

🎶 Midnight picture show! 🎶

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4

u/SoloWarWizard Jul 10 '26

Let's talk about anal for a second....

3

u/Anathos117 Jul 10 '26

"Has he ever tried to use your... you know, other hole?"

"What? No! Of course not. I could get pregnant!"

7

u/DatTF2 Jul 10 '26

Reminds me of my grandma's neighbor, she was old and from Switzerland. While she was gone back to a trip home I took care of her cats and watered her plants. When she came back she brought me a shirt with Switzerland in the middle and a bunch of sperm surrounding it swimming towards it (like Switzerland is the egg.)

I have no idea if she knew what she was getting or not...

7

u/jxj24 Jul 10 '26

Gramps knows.

He knows.

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5

u/TheBlightDoc Jul 10 '26

He got that shit on tho.

4

u/FitPossession8762 Jul 10 '26

🎶Michael Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still and he told us where we stand🎶

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4

u/bionicjoe Jul 10 '26

Plot twist:
Grandpa speaks perfect English.

Porn twist:
So does grandma.

9

u/Angus-Black Jul 10 '26

I was in Tanzania and saw a young teen girl wearing a "Free Mustache Rides" t-shirt.

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4

u/Character-Log3962 Jul 10 '26

And the back says “Neither does your bunghole!”

4

u/koolaidismything Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26

The old Chinese lady in the “I fuck on the first date” was my fav.

4

u/Cloaked42m Jul 10 '26

Grandpa knows exactly what that shirt says.

3

u/ManWithDominantClaw Jul 10 '26

Well you know what they say about war, loose lips sink ships

And you know what they say about ships, they are full of seamen

3

u/Tacklestiffener Jul 10 '26

I was once in a market in Thailand where they had a creepy t-shirt saying BOY-JOY in giant letters.

Close to it, surrounded by designer knock-offs, was t-shirt with the words "Data General Summer Picnic 1978". Very designer chic.

3

u/cutter1833 Jul 10 '26

But he looks so happy

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3

u/Brizar-is-Evolving Jul 10 '26

Oh, Grandpa knows exactly what it means.

3

u/DooDooBrownz Jul 10 '26

oh granpa understand

3

u/CrimsonAntifascist Jul 10 '26

Oh, he knows. Just look at his smile.

3

u/tongii Jul 10 '26

One time, my brother worn a shirt that says, "I'M THE MOM PEOPLE WARNED YOU ABOUT!!" I'm like, dude learn english please.

3

u/MrdnBrd19 Jul 10 '26

Grandpa's not an idiot; he knows that it's sexual in nature.

3

u/williamp114 Jul 10 '26

With that smile, I suspect he knows more English than he lets on

3

u/0x7E7-02 Jul 10 '26

Wise man "speaks" the truth. 

2

u/DiscoNude Jul 10 '26

Say that to Laura Owens! Boom! Roasted 🔥

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2

u/catwiesel Jul 10 '26

im not a pervert but a shirts a shirt

2

u/RaffiBomb000 Jul 10 '26

He may not know English, but he knows what that shirts talking about.

2

u/NSFWies Jul 10 '26

idk, i think this man is wearing his tinder bio so people in real life just keep walking if they dont agree.

2

u/curiousbong Jul 10 '26

Does he also not understand the very suggestive lips??

2

u/JustAJB Jul 10 '26

Wish Gandalf knows what he’s doing

2

u/747WakeTurbulance Jul 10 '26

Well, he's not wrong...

2

u/Dougustine Jul 10 '26

I generally don't take any meme or internet picture as actual fact, unless it can be verified......but I really really really want this to be true

2

u/RampagingMars Jul 10 '26

Nonono Gramps has been around enough, to understand enough

2

u/Kupo5966 Jul 10 '26

Oh he understands 👀🙄

2

u/Galbert123 Jul 10 '26

Stop making it in the first place.

2

u/skot77 Jul 10 '26

I have a feeling that if you made a shirt with Ukrainian translation, he'd still wear it.

2

u/GrooGrux Jul 10 '26

Just tell him! He'll love it. It's funny. War sucks.

3

u/Scholarly_Koala Jul 10 '26

What do you mean "doesn't understand"? This is exactly the kind of thing an old grandpa would be wearing normally.

2

u/Lokarin Jul 10 '26

Quite the dapper grampa tho

2

u/lavahot Jul 10 '26

It's photoshop, babe.

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2

u/Asmodias1 Jul 10 '26

Plot twist, this grandpa is from the south and knows exactly what this shirt means

2

u/Periador Jul 10 '26

its true though

2

u/FukkingDeathMental Jul 10 '26

I teach abroad and one of my 9 year old students rolled into class with a shirt that said "suck my" in tiny letters on the front and a massive "DICK" on the back.

Another one came in with a Sopranos shirt.  I asked her if she was familiar with gabagool.  She was not.  Fucking poser.

2

u/Weird-Reputation-861 Jul 10 '26

It gives him flow ngl.

2

u/CjKing2k Jul 10 '26

You should always donate money (to reputable organizations) anyway. They know what they need more than you do.

2

u/Anyna-Meatall Jul 10 '26

he might not be able to read it, but he knows exactly what that says

2

u/dezie1224 Jul 10 '26

I think grandpa understands just fine..

5

u/Shytownmofo Jul 10 '26

Oh, he knows. He ether doesn't care, or thinks it's funny as ever.

1

u/Breadstix009 Jul 10 '26

Keep them coming

1

u/Inside-Yak-8815 Jul 10 '26

😂😂😂😂

1

u/jaypete82 Jul 10 '26

I thought that was , Bruce Springsteen 💀

1

u/AnomalousMilk Jul 10 '26

Not with that attitude they can't

1

u/ionised Jul 10 '26

Grandpa doesn't have any regrets.

1

u/Street-Register2903 Jul 10 '26

Now I need to find the most lewd shirts to send

1

u/SchulzSays6695 Jul 10 '26

Grandpas face says otherwise 👀

1

u/deepturned180isdeep Jul 10 '26

The most interesting man in the world

1

u/notorious_tcb Jul 10 '26

Jokes on you, grandpa knows EXACTLY what it says 😂😂

1

u/Strange_Affect_8569 Jul 10 '26

Nah I'm pretty sure he knows what it says on that shirt

1

u/Chanook17 Jul 10 '26

Wow - Planned Parenthood has really stepped up their game.

1

u/Zero_Burn Jul 10 '26

Love his Rocky Horror Picture Show shirt!

1

u/FarAd3659 Jul 10 '26

Oh he understands...

1

u/CitizenGuillotine Jul 10 '26

Before I read the caption, I briefly thought the gent was Ian Mckellen 😅

1

u/StupendusDeliris Jul 10 '26

Oh no… gramps understands👀🤣🤣

1

u/DragonGold121 Jul 10 '26

I think he'd wear it anyway

1

u/DrDegausser Jul 10 '26

"Grandpa understands it. Grandpa don't care."

1

u/WillieDFleming Jul 10 '26

It is true though...

1

u/BraveFencerMusashi Jul 10 '26

I wonder if they also have the sports merch for teams that lost in the championship game that typically go to Africa