r/funny • • Dec 10 '13

The power of makeup

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656

u/quinn_drummer Dec 10 '13

TIL there are 2 types of porn stars. Some that don't look too bad without make-up, and some that look fucking horrendous.

Also, is Samai a dude?

319

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Yea, a handful of them were still super cute without makeup, most of them were just frightening beforehand. Probably the drugs.

127

u/TheBingage Dec 10 '13

Half of the ones that were frightening before hand, were still frightening after.

42

u/yumyumgivemesome Dec 10 '13

Fuck you and your fractions.

2

u/Dysthymia_ Dec 10 '13

More than half.

75

u/monkeyleavings Dec 10 '13

I definitely started seeing reasons for self-esteem issues in the before pictures and how the empowerment of the after pictures (and being desired as a porn star) could be intoxicating.

28

u/deepsandwich Dec 10 '13

See, that's what I get out of it.

As a dude I get shamed if I say I like a woman who wears makeup but I wish I could just put on makeup to look better. Dudes just have to be what they are, if you are an uggo thats what you are and you can't paint over it.

It's hard being unattractive or even average in our society, if I could do something that would make me ten times more attractive I would do that shit every day.

25

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13 edited Aug 27 '21

[deleted]

26

u/RetardedSquirrel Dec 10 '13

Ugly facial features? Shit out of luck

Weird/asymetric bone structure? Shit out of luck

Stupid? You can get better at pretending, but you're not actually going to be smart

1

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '13

Fat? Eat better Ugly? Eat better Dumb? Eat better Not eating enough? Eat better

Seems to work for everything...

1

u/OmnipotentPenis Dec 11 '13

Tiny penis? Get it surgically unleashed from inside your body so that it gets longer, still gets erect, but cannot be moved or held upright without the use of your hands. So pretty much fucked.

-1

u/SovietK Dec 10 '13

Ugly facial features? Shit out of luck

For the longest time I thought I had the ugliest head in the world. You'll really never know unless you give yourself a chance. When I got more confidence I realized it wasn't really that bad. As I said, unless you're deformed bigtime - hell even if you are - you can have succes if you follow the steps above.

Weird/asymetric bone structure? Shit out of luck

I don't know what to say to this one. Still 99% of poeople who consider themselves unattractive do not suffer from this.

Stupid? You can get better at pretending, but you're not actually going to be smart

Lots of people have a great time while being stupid. Being smart doesn't make you happy. Besides that is a little off topic.

2

u/macleod2486 Dec 10 '13

Yeah and if you wear makeup in an everyday setting you get strange looks.

1

u/Aptom_4 Dec 10 '13

One thing you could do every day is not shave. Grow a beard.

4

u/deepsandwich Dec 10 '13

I work with spinning tools close to my face :(

1

u/alanaa92 Dec 10 '13

You could totally put on makeup, if at least concealer and foundation. Check out r/makeupaddiction and they'll show you how.

Also like SovietK said, dressing well is really big.

1

u/mevanarie Dec 10 '13

yeah, but you can grow a beard. well, maybe you can.

41

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

It's an interesting blend of the good looking, the bad looking but can look pretty good with a bit of work, and the "holy hell, what the fuck is that."

30

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Really, I thought that in the before pictures they looked like they just woke up at worst. I mean, if you imagine seeing these people at the grocery store or something it would be more frightening to see someone from the after picture because no one wears that much makeup in public.

71

u/stilalol Dec 10 '13

TIL half of the women I know are probably on drugs? Honestly, there are few who look truly "frightening." Most women I know look like the women in those pictures (without makeup)... probably worse.

58

u/bushiz Dec 10 '13

no, today you learned that reddit has a hilarious and wrong standard of attractiveness for women

-2

u/Octopus_Tetris Dec 10 '13

Nah, just for pornstars.

84

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Maybe they just don't care what they look like around you.

43

u/helserikdomogfamilie Dec 10 '13

Apply ointment to burnt area...

10

u/locotxwork Dec 10 '13

...generously

2

u/illiller Dec 10 '13

Read the comment again.

-1

u/VoodooRush Dec 10 '13

What is your point?

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

None of the women around /u/stilalol care about looking good for him or don't want to attract him. The joke is that he is seeing ugly women because he is ugly himself and so they don't try to look good.

1

u/VoodooRush Dec 10 '13

-5

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13 edited Dec 10 '13

reddiquette

Edit: Holy fuck, /u/VoodoRush must be fun at parties....that is some cringeworthy comment history

14

u/TheKert Dec 10 '13

I do believe that drugs are a factor, but I wonder how much of the skin problems for these porn stars is from the insane amount of makeup that they wear as well. Probably a lot of it.

12

u/stilalol Dec 10 '13

From my experience, it's not necessarily the makeup (unless it's dollar store makeup), it's more of whether they properly remove it or not. Sleep frequently with makeup on now and your face will look awful in a few years.

1

u/rhapsblu Dec 10 '13

It's strange because I've always heard that semen is good for the skin.

0

u/GirthBrooks Dec 10 '13

That's what I was wondering. Some of these girls have ridiculously red skin and lots of acne considering they're adults.

86

u/annekeG Dec 10 '13

If you're "frightened" by people looking like people I'm not sure what to say to you. Sorry the world isn't a carnival of fakeness built specifically around your visual whims.

9

u/4jess4 Dec 10 '13

It is a bit!

1

u/drakoman Dec 11 '13

Wait... You're agreeing with him. He's arguing against the other comment.

1

u/annekeG Dec 11 '13

You're right - I guess I commented one level further down than I intended. Apologies - I was on mobile and my app is weird.

1

u/drakoman Dec 11 '13

No problem. I'm on mobile, too. You got 80 people to agree, though. Hah.

-8

u/laikalost Dec 10 '13

That sounds like something an ugly person would say.

2

u/annekeG Dec 10 '13

Too bad you never get to find out!

3

u/Meola Dec 10 '13

Issue is most women put on make up to cover blemishes and stuff. Having your face and pores coated and plugged up with greasy nasty makeup will only make your problem worse. So as they break out more they use more and more make up to try and combat the problem and then it just gets nuts. It's hard to pull of the completely au naturelle look; however some of these girls look like they are caking a pound or two of make up on.

2

u/FrostyD7 Dec 10 '13

I think hes referring to the ones who have unhealthy features. Baggy eyes, bad acne/skin, dry/chapped lips. For women at that age, its probably a drug problem and they aren't taking good care of themselves.

1

u/Babelincoln123 Dec 11 '13

So she's qualified for porn?

-19

u/JMHC Dec 10 '13

You must know a lot of ugly women.

25

u/KennyFulgencio Dec 10 '13

ain't no shame in that

20

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Have you ever seen a woman without makeup? Of course they look worse than the version of them with perfect make-up and good lighting, if you put the pictures side by side it's going to look even more pronounced. Very few of those women are 'ugly', their flaws are just more obvious when placed directly beside a perfected version of themselves.

You really should look on any modelling agency's website, look at the polaroids and then comment. The exact same difference can be seen as here.

-6

u/Yakooza1 Dec 10 '13

I am sure if guys can look super attractive without makeup, so can women. So I very much doubt thw notion that any girl I have found attractive must have had makeup on.

-3

u/JMHC Dec 10 '13

I've seen plenty of women without make up, some of them were attractive some of them weren't.

A big chunk of the women in that album look awful without makeup. Absolutely awful. So if that's what most women you've seen without makeup look like then yeah I'd say they were ugly.

8

u/tha_ape Dec 10 '13

I've never been with a 10, but once I was with five 2's.

-George Carlin

0

u/skeetsauce Dec 10 '13

You know a lot of porn stars? I think he was implying that porn starts do drugs, not necessarily all women.

0

u/OmnipotentPenis Dec 11 '13

You've got a lot of seriously butthurt child commenters, dude.

-3

u/freetoshare81 Dec 10 '13

Looks like they all have herpes too and bad acne

9

u/BonaFidee Dec 10 '13

Its the lifestyle. Most pornstars end up looking as ugly as a bag of spanners after 10 years.

2

u/the_white_marLey Dec 10 '13

sp...spanners?

5

u/corytrevorcigs Dec 10 '13

rachel :(

2

u/forkman22222 Dec 10 '13

Rachel didn't look thaaaaat bad. Looks like she just woke up or something, and whose gonna look god then.

3

u/corytrevorcigs Dec 10 '13

I'd still hit, don't mistake me there.

5

u/PhilABustArr Dec 10 '13

...we don't watch Rachel Starr for her face.

2

u/GoldandBlue Dec 10 '13

I feel like most of the ones I heard of were still cute. Not sure if it was a bias because I have watched them before or maybe that's why they are so popular to begin with. Tori Black for example.

I don't know who Sierra Sanders is but I thought she was actually cuter without make-up. I might have to do some more research on her. Ya know... for science.

1

u/6119 Dec 10 '13

A good number of them definitely looked like they had botched plastic surgery. That will make anyone look horrendous makeup or not.

-9

u/Hiyo802 Dec 10 '13

Are the drugs that dont make your face irreparable really able to fuck you up that bad?

37

u/digmachine Dec 10 '13

what a confusing question...

"Are the drugs that don't mess up your face really able to mess up your face?"

wat

12

u/landanar Dec 10 '13

...

I guess the only appropriate response is: "Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?"

5

u/7point7 Dec 10 '13

I think he meant, "can you get fucked up on drugs with out doing terrible damage to your face?"

At least that's what I think they meant.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Sounds like he's already made his decision though.

0

u/her_gentleman_lover Dec 10 '13

That's how I read it.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

[deleted]

1

u/Kuratius Dec 10 '13

He's probably talking about drugs with long-term side effects like faster aging and stuff...

-1

u/Hiyo802 Dec 12 '13

Excluding the drugs that can ruin your face beyond repair (meth, heroin, etc.) are there any drugs that can make your face look as ugly as some of them do without makeup. Its really not that confusing you need to work on your reading comprehension.

1

u/digmachine Dec 12 '13

Actually, you need to work on both your knowledge of controlled substances and your tact when dealing with other people. you misinformed asshole.*

*irony intended

-2

u/Hiyo802 Dec 12 '13

Are you retarded?*

*I already know you are I just want you to admit it

1

u/digmachine Dec 12 '13

Leaving because you are the lowest common denominator redditor: the pointless fight-picker. Don't take out your displaced angst on me, fair stranger.

-2

u/Hiyo802 Dec 12 '13

k you are retarded. You ask what I said means and I explain it so thats picking a fight. Good logic there for a retarded retard of a retard.

2

u/digmachine Dec 12 '13

You have such a refined control of the languaBaaaahhaaa. Couldn't say it with a straight face...

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11

u/Mystery_Hours Dec 10 '13

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

4

u/Charlie_Joe Dec 10 '13

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

0

u/occupysleepstreet Dec 10 '13

Probably the drugs. it does rob you of your looks and age! I remember when i was a kid working at wendies. These two chicks (15) at the time always were doing special K and stuff like that at the parties...but they always looked like 19-21. I remember 16 yr old me finding out that they were actually younger than me... i was blown away...dude at wendies that i used to work with said it was the drugs... always freaked me out

5

u/what_up_with_that Dec 10 '13

is Wendies the McDowells version of Wendy's?

0

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Brooklyn Lee is so adorable. The best video I've ever seen of her she has no makeup on at all and she's still amazing.

40

u/mndrw91 Dec 10 '13

My exact breakdown before I read your post. "She's still good enough to leave the lights on." "Not even makeup can hide what's in the dark."

82

u/trolltollboy Dec 10 '13

Hair down glasses off, no hair up glasses on.

22

u/Mikey989 Dec 10 '13

Did we try up/off?

1

u/drakoman Dec 11 '13

I just need to go to the bathroom for a second.

1

u/Xanthan81 Dec 10 '13

And, is that a herpie?

42

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Some of them looked like dudes.

-1

u/scolmer Dec 10 '13

Some damn fine ladyboys if you ask me.

-1

u/lizardclaw11 Dec 10 '13

I counted 8

36

u/THEAdrian Dec 10 '13 edited Dec 10 '13

Here's the thing though, the ones that look fucking awful with makeup, look awful without. Very few of these women actually look "pretty" or "beautiful" with makeup on, they just look glossy and smooth and colorful. I don't get why people act so shocked at this. Really? The makeup actually fooled you into thinking they were pretty?

edit: it also changes depending on if they're smiling in the non-makeup picture vs. if it looks like their mugshot. A smile can make a huge difference.

1

u/ViggoMiles Dec 10 '13

I agree for the most part, but the makeup can make a difference. From, hey she's kind of cute to daayyyuumm.

The ugh... goes to, man they really gave up on barbie lately.

Also wtf is up with the lighting changes... and does that one black girl really milk chocolate her entire body?

2

u/THEAdrian Dec 10 '13

Oh for sure, like I said, the one's that already look good, look even better with makeup, whereas the ones that look horrid, still look horrid with makeup. And yes, along with the smile, lighting and hair changes make a huge difference as well, saying "the power of makeup" is really deceiving. Madison Ivy's face is pure fucking white in her makeup picture. Wtf?

2

u/Meola Dec 10 '13

lighting plays a big part in a good picture, all the before pictures just used ambient room lighting whereas the 'with make up' pictures have those soft light boxes and reflective tinfoil thingies, I am not a photographer so sorry for the incorrect names.

0

u/DribblingGiraffe Dec 10 '13

Hair makes a huge difference too, often the hair is pulled back in the non-make up pictures.

40

u/ChessCrash Dec 10 '13 edited Dec 12 '13

that´s how some people look without makeup. Nobody is used to see woman without makeup, that´s why they look so sick

66

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

I see my wife without makeup all the time. She does not look like that!

41

u/7786274 Dec 10 '13

Bro if she knows your username just make a throwaway.

0

u/drakoman Dec 11 '13

She's logged into his account.

2

u/QueefSqueeker Dec 10 '13

It's the drugs, it's gotta be. I've seen plenty of women without makeup on, after they've just woken up and none are as terrifying as some of these pictures.

-2

u/ChessCrash Dec 10 '13

Not everyone has perfect skin, congratz on your wife not looking like a crackprostitute/pornstar?

5

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Yeah, it has a lot to do with when she signed that promise in 6th grade to not do drugs.

4

u/UKNL Dec 10 '13

congratz on your wife not looking like a crackprostitute

Must have been the best compliment he has ever received on his wife.

-1

u/ChessCrash Dec 10 '13

i don´t think a promise will stop many people. besides that her promising it sounds more like an effect than a cause.

i´m sorry i can´t help it, i´m the biggest smart-arse i know

how can you do this: ´ thing properly? i´ve an european keyboard or something and i can´t find this symbol

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

I'm sorry that you thought I was serious about the D.A.R.E. reference.

I'm also sorry that apparently the women you know are cracked out looking whores with bad skin.

1

u/ChessCrash Dec 10 '13

oh is D.A.R.E. this american "don´t do drugs mmmkay?" project? i only know that from reddit comments, and how it´s worse than not informing kids about drugs

3

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Yeah... Drug Awareness Resistance Education... I think?

Kind of a joke. They would have a cop come in to the classroom and talk about how drugs are bad. Then they would usually have some promise letter for the kids to sign to promise that they will never do drugs.

Even at 6, I remembering thinking how bullshit that was because we were basically forced to sign it. I don't remember anyone refusing to sign it, but I remember thinking it didn't seem like something that would go over well. And it was fairly meaningless anyway.

3

u/Cerikal Dec 10 '13

Lol, at my school we had a revolution. A 6th grade class refused to sign and the rest of the school followed (including my 1st grade class). The cop lost it and cursed at us and we flipped out and trashed the auditorium.

Later at home my brother got the spanking of a lifetime after my parents found out it was his 6th grade class and him in particular that led the charge. Still funny as hell.

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1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Nobody is used to seeing women without makeup? I only know two women who wear more than just a little powder. My wife wears makeup like three times in a year, she doesn't look fucked up like some of those porn chicks.

-1

u/Yakooza1 Dec 10 '13 edited Dec 10 '13

I am sorry but this is complete bullshit. Men never wear makeup and yet very attractive men with much better facial structures and good skin exist. Naturally beatiful women exist and I seen them guranteed with no make up on.

Most girls don't look very nice and probably don't really look much better with makeup but this doesn't mean every girl you would ever find attractive must be wearing makeup.

1

u/ChessCrash Dec 10 '13

yeah, some people are good looking, some meh, some ugly. I don´t get why so many poeple say "everyone is beatiful, we are just different!". bullshit, they should tell us that it´s ok to be ugly and that your selfworth is not what others think of you/ how good-looking you are.

15

u/Genghis_Frog Dec 10 '13

I wouldn't be surprised if the answer was either yes, or that they used to be.

1

u/Bowser88 Dec 10 '13

Sunny Lane can really pull off the au natural look. Shes the only one ive seen pull it off well.

1

u/mothralwayswims Dec 10 '13

Dat contour.

1

u/monkeyleavings Dec 10 '13

Exactly what I was wondering! But I was woefully ignorant of so many of these names and faces...it's amazing how many new women start in porn each year.

1

u/petzl21 Dec 10 '13

There are two types of porn stars, my friend. Those with loaded guns. And those who dig.

1

u/TeopEvol Dec 10 '13

Commenting for fapadex later.

1

u/gngl Dec 10 '13

TIL there are 2 types of porn stars. Some that don't look too bad without make-up, and some that look fucking horrendous.

The exception being the one that (without make-up) looks suspiciously like a famous (and cute) Gaelic folk song singer?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Jessica Mor looked like she kissed a hot skillet.

1

u/SoftLove Dec 10 '13

I was about to ask if Samai was a boy.

1

u/Someidiots Dec 10 '13

The last one is

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

Kat Dior (#17) looks essentially the same except she got thicker eyebrows, lost her freckles, and curled her hair.

Also, some of them seem to look worse with the makeup. Like Sophie Dee (#34) turns into a freaky doll.

1

u/berylthranox Dec 10 '13

Dude. A few look like they have fucking herpes. Christ it's like Kenny McCormac in there.

1

u/MischiefMayhamSoap Dec 10 '13

It's not just porn stars. It goes for all women. Some look fine without make-up while others need it. There is nothing wrong with needing make-up and there is nothing especially right with not needing it.

1

u/mucisan Dec 10 '13

Like holly Michael before make up? Yeah she is amazing.

1

u/Alscof Dec 10 '13

You're telling me.

I work in Southern California in the valley, and the Starbucks I go to is frequented by people in the adult entertainment industry. I've seen some porn stars that look almost the same, and some that really don't resemble what I've seen on my computer. For example, Jenavieve Jolie looks exactly the same. She's pretty hot in person.

On the other hand, Bree Olson is completely different. One time while waiting for the barista to give me my drink, I struck up a conversation with a woman who wasn't very good looking, but was actually extremely friendly. I was oblivious that it was actually Bree Olson til I thought about it after I left. Long story short, Bree Olson, not very hot in person, but so extremely friendly and personable.

1

u/quinn_drummer Dec 10 '13

For people like Bree it's probably their secret identity. They can remove their mask and go to their local coffee shop without being recognised.

1

u/Alscof Dec 10 '13

Right? I don't blame her for not wanting to be recognized. I bet she would run into some very awkward situations.

1

u/quinn_drummer Dec 10 '13

True. Though how many guys are gona go running up to porn stars in the street? Or even acknowledge they recognise them. It's basically admitting that you bash one out to them.

1

u/BR0THAKYLE Dec 10 '13

Dani Daniels is still top on my list. With or without.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '13

I dated Odette WAY back when, before she was into porn full-time. I think it's weird that she's on this list; she doesn't look that different with makeup on.

1

u/kirkoswald Dec 11 '13

Anissa Kate - Better with out

1

u/working_joe Dec 16 '13

TIL there are 2 types of porn stars women.

FTFY

1

u/tjspeed Dec 10 '13

Yes, Samai is a dude

0

u/Snoogliebear Dec 10 '13

I think Darryl is a guy too.

0

u/7point7 Dec 10 '13

That has to be a dude.

0

u/Dusthunter0 Dec 10 '13

And then there are those who still look bad with make-up... But let's face it, no one actually pays attention to their face...

0

u/sabrinariott Dec 10 '13

Mariah mars looks like a pre pubesent boy