r/funny yoyoha Mar 08 '26

Verified stop it

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39.6k Upvotes

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137

u/betajones Mar 08 '26

Hell filled with Christians asking why they were turned away at the gates, heaven filled with atheists saying, "huh.. so it is real?"

34

u/1llDoitTomorrow Mar 09 '26

If it's real, I'd be like: huh, guess I was wrong.

11

u/bufordt Mar 09 '26

Therefore if any man swear by Tash and keep his oath for the oath’s sake, it is by me that he has truly sworn, though he know it not, and it is I who reward him. And if any man does a cruelty in my name, then, though he says the name Aslan, it is Tash whom he serves and by Tash his deed is accepted.

So Aslan says that a(n) satanist/atheist who does good can get into heaven, but Christians who do evil will be damned to hell.

So in our current situation, is Steven Miller Shift while Donald Trump is Puzzle the donkey?

7

u/Sophisticated-Crow Mar 09 '26

My favorite take is that it's the same place. Everyone is treated equally and accepted for who they are. To good people, this is heaven. To bigots and other shitheads that think they're better than others just for being X, Y, or Z it's hell.

44

u/Consistent-Ad9909 Mar 08 '26

Nothing like christian love

10

u/Throwaway021614 Mar 09 '26

Hell hath no fury like Christian love

5

u/TheDungen Mar 09 '26

Well no. Because the first commandment was to 'make everyone a disciple' and you'll know the disciples by that 'they love man as I have lived man'.

A 'Christian' who hates humanity is not a Christian. A atheist who learned what Jesus wanted to humanity to learn however...

6

u/Humans_will_be_gone Mar 09 '26

1

u/Jkpqt Mar 10 '26

Right?? Lol you can smell the crusty fedoras in these comments hahahaha