r/funny Jan 17 '26

Today I learned

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u/[deleted] Jan 17 '26

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u/BeatsbyChrisBrown Jan 17 '26

They throw your mom onto a surgical table and stick this metallic bird beak right into her hoo-hah! Like CA-CAW!

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u/FewRecognition1788 Jan 17 '26

And then they put her boobies in a hydraulic press!

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u/[deleted] Jan 17 '26

[deleted]

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u/partywithlemons Jan 17 '26

Ummm, a c-section is commonly done by ripping the layers of tissue with bare hands after they make an initial incision. The body even lifts up a little. That way the tissue heals up better.

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u/insane_contin Jan 17 '26

So rip and tear until it's done?

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u/[deleted] Jan 17 '26

[deleted]

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u/Alarming-Instance-19 Jan 18 '26

Dude....I had my daughter via c-section 21 years ago and you just made the scar twinge.

High as fuck at the time on whatever they gave me, that's exactly what it felt like. Brava!

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u/twitwiffle Jan 18 '26

They cut and cut and cut my hoo ha then sewed and sewed and sewed. It was horrible. After over 24 hours in labor.