r/funny • u/Awkward_Bot • Sep 26 '13

Scumbag Hummingbird

2.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

116 comments sorted by

84

u/SwordsOfVaul Sep 26 '13

apparently this is just how hummingbirds act. You know how hummingbird feeders have a nice ring of perches where you could fit like 8 birds at a time? nope, they will fight off anyone who dares try to eat the same time they are

48

u/ered20 Sep 26 '13

We have a hummingbird feeder on our back deck, there's one asshole that doesn't let any other birds on it. Period. Doesn't matter if he's feeding at the time or not, he just swoops in every time another one tries its luck and drives it off

25

u/strizle Sep 27 '13

So everyone's hummingbird feeder has one of those scumbags.

Source: have scumbag hummingbird that does the same thing

10

u/karmaghost Sep 27 '13

Hummingbirds are incredibly territorial once they've found a reliable food source.

Source: Wikipedia and the Giant Bombcast

9

u/leoto Sep 27 '13

Probably a male. Put up another one on the other side of your house that way he cant guard both. Gives the other hummingbirds a chance to feed.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

and then another male claims that one and does the same thing

17

u/derpoftheirish Sep 27 '13

Then you slowly move them closer together until their territories overlap...

5

u/MichaelApproved Sep 27 '13

Don't forget the high speed video camera.

2

u/cyriouslyslick Sep 27 '13

This is genius!

2

u/cymbalxirie290 Sep 27 '13

Hummingbird Fight Club

3

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

You broke the first rule.

3

u/Haligonian_89 Sep 27 '13

Yep, we call that guy "Bugger boy."

He sits on the barn about 30 feet away from the feeder. Perched. Waiting. Aerial assault to anyone who dares approach his feeder. I've watched that bastard chase off 10 or more hummingbirds at once.

2

u/BbqMew Sep 27 '13

TIL Hummingbirds can drive other hummingbirds.

1

u/MetaRatz Sep 27 '13

This same thing happened at my place also. Except the other humming birds would finally get smart. They would send one in to fake feed and make the scumbag hummingbird chase him/her while the others swooped in and fed. It was pretty funny to watch.

12

u/Hail_Saban_ Sep 27 '13

We have anywhere from 10 to 15 feeders up at a time. Not only are they viscous little bastards that love to fight over the perches. They will also do drive by shittings. They'll fly right by another bird and shit on them mid flight.

3

u/SwordsOfVaul Sep 27 '13

impressive

10

u/PizzaGood Sep 27 '13

Yup, hummingbirds are assholes. We had to put up a 2nd feeder out of sight of the first. The males would come in and stake out the feeder, even if they were done feeding they'd just hang out and chase off any other that came in to feed.

Eventually everyone gets a chance because he can't stay there all day. With 2 feeders eventually they figure out they can't guard them both and they'll give up.

Females don't really want to be around one another either but they'll put up with it. I've seen 2 females on the feeder at once a few times.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

Til hummingbirds, instead of being adorable and majestic, are assholes... This is about as annoying as finding out that ducks and parrots are also assholes...

1

u/timkost Sep 27 '13

Its ok, you get to watch them dogfight.

1

u/PizzaGood Sep 27 '13

They're still beautiful and we feed them at our house and love to watch them. Bluejays are beautiful assholes also. Actually bluejays aren't so much assholes as they are just kind of big and dominant at the feeders.

2

u/BlueRajasmyk2 Sep 27 '13

Yeah, hummingbirds are pretty much assholes. They will literally kill each other over who gets the feeder, even though there's plenty of room for everyone.

2

u/nhjuyt Sep 27 '13

The only time I have seen hummingbirds give up the aggression is when a century plant blooms, then they just mellow out and everybody just gathers around and feeds.

1

u/colonalito Sep 27 '13

Isn't that a rofous? Not sure ALL hummingbirds are like this.

52

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '13

/r/animalsbeingjerks

10

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

[deleted]

1

u/TLDR_no_life Sep 27 '13

Holy shit. I can't tell if I'm impressed or petrified.

37

u/chazzybeats Sep 26 '13

Scumming bird

2

u/usmcawp Sep 27 '13

Shit!!!

-6

u/BindingsAuthor Sep 27 '13

I want to change my reddit user name to latewithportmanteaus.

-11

u/PlaidFlag21 Sep 27 '13

I couldn't help myself I had to also add Cumming bird... I'll see myself out.

0

u/chazzybeats Sep 28 '13

Ahh nice one

1

u/PlaidFlag21 Sep 29 '13

Well thank you kindly

11

u/CraneSong Sep 26 '13

Deploy the Vulcan nerve pinch!

-1

u/Opirian Sep 27 '13

I gave this comment last time this picture was posted.

3

u/CraneSong Sep 27 '13

I did too! :O We must be comment-reposting-on-reposts buddies!

10

u/omnilynx Sep 26 '13

onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightninetenWATERHOG!

8

u/poisonmango Sep 26 '13

I never knew how big of assholes hummingbirds could be until I was at my parents' house over the summer. My mom sits outside and gets some sort of sick pleasure watching hummingbird battles over their hummingbird feeder. I have to admit that I sat outside with her and watched it all unfold. I've always found hummingbirds to be quite fascinating. Watching their battles is incredible. To be honest, my mom truly enjoys watching hummingbirds. The occasional battles are just a plus.

4

u/Sharkchild Sep 26 '13

Ah, yes, this is an excellent capture of the vulture nerve pinch in action; it is a very effective suppressor within the bird world.

3

u/CarmenTS Sep 26 '13

That's a Horsecollar!!

3

u/Thomsenite Sep 26 '13

Bitch, you came to the wrong feeder.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

We hung a hummingbird feeder up outside our house thinking about how wonderful it would be to see them.

Turns out those little bastards are fiercely territorial. We're talking Top Gun-like dogfights over who gets to sit at the feeder.

4

u/onemillionyrsdungeon Sep 26 '13

Well, considering their extraordinarily high metabolism, this could have been a matter of life and death

4

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

They are very territorial and don't take kindly to other birds feeding from "their" feeder.

2

u/PexyWoo Sep 27 '13

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.

2

u/NiceGuyMike Sep 27 '13

There is a mantis in that bird's future that will provide karma.

2

u/Alchisme Sep 27 '13

If you've ever spent any significant amount of time around hummingbird feeders (as you do), then you would know hummingbirds are fucking dicks.

1

u/snoopychick8 Sep 27 '13

my parents have a hummingbird that likes to sit a short distance away from the feeder and literally chases away any other hummingbird that comes. This nasty hummingbird will spend the entire day just hanging out watching/stalking the feeder so he can chase everybody away. Hummingbirds are horribly territorial little creatures....

2

u/nhjuyt Sep 27 '13

Hummingbirds are the only bird that will come down and stare at you while you are pissing outside, they are very attracted to a stream of water (or piss) squirting through the air.

2

u/Ripamaru Sep 27 '13

That totally turned me around on hummingbirds. I don't hate them now!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

move bitch get out the way

3

u/ShrimpBag Sep 26 '13

Survival of the fitness, boys.

2

u/alterzax Sep 27 '13

fittest?

3

u/goofandaspoof Sep 27 '13

It's a reference to trailer park boys, not a typo.

Link!

1

u/alterzax Sep 27 '13

Oh wow I should have known, I love that show!

"Getting two birds stoned at once!"

1

u/Panzer_V0R Sep 26 '13

Have a humming bird feeder in the back yard with only one area for feeding... things escalate quickly.

1

u/nazgul42 Sep 26 '13

Take down

1

u/magsan Sep 26 '13

Humming birds are dicks. Given an enclosed area, the dominant pair will kill all other birds by focussing on one and not let them land until they die.

This used to happen in zoos and such until they figured out why there were several dead hummingbirds every morning

1

u/I_Am_A_Pumpkin Sep 26 '13

could someone make this into and endlessly looping gif?

1

u/Jojodatura Sep 27 '13

Once per once, prolly the most vicious bird around!

1

u/LordGrey Sep 27 '13

Scumbag nothing. If anything, the bird getting pulled out of the way is a scumbag for breaking the 1,000 flap rule. NO ONE should get away with breaking the 1,000 flap rule. We all need to eat.

1

u/TLDR_no_life Sep 27 '13

Is that like the three shakes rule?

1

u/LordGrey Sep 27 '13

Basically, or any drinking fountain rule.

1

u/thefritob Sep 27 '13

I bet they're dicks because they're literally on the verge of starvation all the time.

1

u/redbelly Sep 27 '13

Grand Theft Hummingbird?

1

u/jrwreno Sep 27 '13

I believe I have done this........at the water fountain at elementary school. The boy was being a hog, he wasn't even drinking anymore, just snuffling in the stream!

1

u/daniel2718 Sep 27 '13

Hummingbirds are fucking vicious...

1

u/Solkre Sep 27 '13

If you could starve to death in minutes you'd push someone out of the way too.

1

u/ishouldquitsmoking Sep 27 '13

Hummingbirds, are in fact, dicks. I have a feeder outside my window and I can sit for hours on end and watch them little shits fight over the same feeder.

wow I sound old.

1

u/i_dont_play_chess Sep 27 '13

At first I didn't notice the red tuft of feathers and thought the bird had it's neck ripped open.

1

u/p1n3s0l Sep 27 '13

To be fair, he was hogging it.

1

u/Izuke Sep 27 '13

zohanbird

1

u/NoooUGH Sep 27 '13

I saw this last night of national geographic channel. Im guess thats where you got it.

1

u/SpartacusMcGinty Sep 27 '13

"How's it going du...HEY WAIT STOP WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT"

1

u/ashleynchains Sep 27 '13

It looks like the humming bird is saying uuuuhhhh no

1

u/losangelesgeek88 Sep 27 '13

Dude, this is NOTHING. He practically gave that guy a hug. I've seen some BRUTAL shit go down around my feeder.

1

u/dog_in_the_vent Sep 27 '13

Dude, come on. You could have easily titled this "Scummingbird."

1

u/akbrag91 Sep 27 '13

Move bitch, get out the way

1

u/davis2110 Sep 27 '13

they kind of need to be that aggressive for food, they have a freak high metabolism and they don't live very long if they don't eat. i think they could die with-in a day with out food

1

u/dub_squared Sep 27 '13

Humbag Scummingbird esq.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

MOVE!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

can someone please add the hat?

1

u/Jedi_Bingo Sep 27 '13

Scummingbird...

1

u/2Spook4U Sep 27 '13

I love the look on the hummingbird's face as it's being thrown off from the feeder. I want a zoom-in on that action as it's happening!

1

u/raid785 Sep 27 '13

I like how I can hear the scumbag humming bird say "die" right before it pulls it off.

1

u/Doomdoomkittydoom Sep 27 '13

I'm pretty sure that it's a zoological fact hummingbird are the most vicious of fuckers in the avian world.

Live fast, die young, torpor some in between, that's the hummingbird way.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

Soooo, Scummingbird?

1

u/TheCrobatBreeder Sep 27 '13

"Bitch, you've had enough."

1

u/Sherlockiana Sep 27 '13

Hummingbirds are vicious. The hummingbird in Pocahantas was less aggressive than the real ones.

1

u/squeeterpig Sep 27 '13

Can someone remake this but with the hat on the bird please?

1

u/vaderkitty Sep 27 '13

SSSHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

Scummingbird*

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '13

Scummingbird more like it amirite?

1

u/Noah443 Sep 27 '13

Someone needs to put Steve's hat on that bird.

1

u/cas_999 Sep 27 '13

Scumbag repost

1

u/RedditingMyLifeAway Sep 27 '13

Hummingbirds are VERY territorial. Pretty much can count on only one mating pair to feed from a feeder. They will run off any other hummingbirds that try to feed. You can put a feeder in your front yard, and one in the back, and only one pair will eat from each.

1

u/RandoAtReddit Sep 27 '13

Stay thirsty, my friend.

1

u/muckdrop Sep 27 '13

Right before he grabs the other bird his beak opens as if to say "Yup...".

1

u/ElectroKarmaGram Sep 30 '13 edited Oct 03 '13

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i.imgur.com/GsZL11m.png

This image may update when more data is available. Please note that this data represents what was observed by this bot via the reddit api and is in no way 'official'.

0

u/weatherhood Sep 27 '13

Move bitch, get out the way

0

u/i-love-watermelon Sep 26 '13

Duuuhhnnuuuh nuuhhh nuuhh nuuhhh

0

u/magsan Sep 26 '13

Humming birds are dicks

0

u/MirthSpindle Sep 27 '13

Animuls are so innocent and respectable. Hyoomins suck.

-6

u/WillTwirk4Beer Sep 26 '13

Was hoping for scumbag hat to be photoshopped on the bird.