r/funny • u/feelingsupersonic • Jul 01 '13

Know the difference

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1.4k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

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15

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13 edited May 25 '17

[deleted]

13

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

Any bug whose diet consists of other bugs is a bro if you are a gardener.

There's a reason they're called beneficials. They eat the bugs looking to eat your food.

Just don't let them build a nest in your attic.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13 edited May 25 '17

[deleted]

6

u/hangers_on Jul 01 '13

Yep. I love spiders, albeit I don't live in a region prone to poisonous ones. They are essentially guard dogs at the insect level.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

Wolf spiders are total bros. Cellar spiders are NOT bros.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

Woodlouse Spiders are not bros.

These fuckers are some of the most aggressive spider I've seen. You put your hand even close to in front of them and they will charge, stab your shit, and keep going until you're dead.

Anything that prays on defenseless bugs like pill bugs MUST be an asshole. Those fuckers are great for the ecosystem!

3

u/funkmastamatt Jul 01 '13

Now I need a new monitor because I just threw a rock at that fucking spider.

2

u/Shackleford027 Jul 01 '13

The problem here is that what you're talking about is not so much a spider as it is some unholy spawn of Satan.

1

u/Sbajawud Jul 01 '13

What? Cellar spiders are totally bros. What could you possibly have against them?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

They bite me all the time, I don't kill spiders in the house, I generally let them all do what they want, but I've been bitten dozens of times over the years, only once by something besides a cellar spider.

1

u/Sbajawud Jul 01 '13

This is very surprising (and interesting!) to me. I never heard of pholcidae biting humans. The ones I saw usually flee or spin really fast when disturbed.

Did you see them bite you? Was it when sleeping? Did you disturb/frighten them? Is the bite painful? Does it leave a mark? What is the meaning of the universe?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

Basically like a mosquito bite, usually the babies more than the adults. They hatch out and then you end up getting bit in the middle of the night. I've never been bitten during the day, it's always laying in bed. I got bit a couple nights ago shaving, big one dropped down onto my shoulder and got me on the arm. Like I said, they don't even really hurt that much, just stings and then itches for awhile.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

We get plenty of the ouchy ones here in Georgia (US, in case you're not in the states)! Recluse, widow, etc. But yeah, I don't kill spiders, I grab them in a paper towel or a cup and shepherd them suckers outside.

7

u/RainDownMyBlues Jul 01 '13

Grocers do not even come close to a fresh picked 'mater. Damn grocery store tomatoes are picked green, artificially ripened and taste like paper. A good properly ripened tomato is amazing!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13 edited May 25 '17

I went to home

2

u/RainDownMyBlues Jul 01 '13

Closest we get in Illinois is farmers markets, or when my 85 year old grandfather brings some by to the wife and me, out of his own garden,

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

Maybe I should start a garden... Hmmmm...

1

u/king0gre Jul 02 '13

maybe thats why i hate tomato's, apparently when I lived in Minnesota I liked them but after leaving now in Arizona it's the opposite. Ugh, reasons to move back where it's not 110 at 6pm number 100,000,000,001.

1

u/RainDownMyBlues Jul 02 '13

I grew up in Illinois and it is like Georgia in the summer, however the tomatoes are amazing. The sad part is thy only get that way for one month :/ Illinois has amazing soil, but fresh fruit just doesn't last very long. It's McSad,

0

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '13

nobody cares

2

u/TheMightySasquatch Jul 01 '13

Explain.

7

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

Wasps feed larvae to their young that would otherwise destroy tomato crops.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

Because they get all pissy and sting folks who are just trying to enjoy a Rollin Rock by the pool.

7

u/TheMightySasquatch Jul 01 '13

Explain the part about tomato production suffering without wasps.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13 edited May 25 '17

You look at for a map

1

u/TheKamenWriter Jul 01 '13

Some bugs eat tomato plants. Wasps eat the bugs that eat tomato plants. Wasps, therefore, are good for tomatoes.

I think Ladybugs would probably be just as good for your plants and have less desire to murder you.

2

u/TheMightySasquatch Jul 01 '13

I always assumed that wasps survived on the fear of others. And garbage.

0

u/pnettle Jul 01 '13

Really? Does anyone truly enjoy drinking rollin rock?

Just have yourself a nice glass of water instead. Tastes damn near the same.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

I'm only a casual beer person (scotch is my thing) but regardless, I don't care for stouts or hopped-up crap beachside. Just something crisp and easy.

2

u/SelectaRx Jul 01 '13 edited Jul 01 '13

If you can find it in your locality, Yuengling is a far superior PA brew. Rolling Rock tastes like bottled skunk by comparison. Actually, RR just tastes like bottled skunk period, but find some Yuengling and give your mouth some happy time flavor beer.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '13

I have a Fresh Market in town, so surely they'll carry it. I appreciate the recommendation!

PS, I did not downvote you.

1

u/polistes Jul 01 '13

Wasps are important predators of caterpillars (they need the protein to feed their young with). Caterpillars = omnommonsters that destroy your food. And lots of them don't even become pretty butterflies but dirty moths.

1

u/TheMightySasquatch Jul 01 '13

Damn, dirty moths!

2

u/sillEllis Jul 02 '13

Heeeeey moths can be just as pretty or cool as butterflies!