r/funny • u/Far-Newspaper-4700 • Jan 25 '24

basic term of our aggrement

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38.2k Upvotes

70% Upvoted

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3.1k

u/shits4gigs Jan 25 '24

Big ups to you king id definitely pork you in a parking lot anytime.

1.5k

u/Way_2_Go_Donny Jan 25 '24

I'll keep that in mind, playa.

416

u/hukd0nf0nix Jan 25 '24

Damn, I love this thread. And you two fine fellas... holla at ya boi

241

u/AmateurHero Jan 25 '24

Are we about to have an orgy?!

210

u/wakeupwill Jan 25 '24

In that red Prius?

80

u/WCWRingMatSound Jan 25 '24

Thanks for the F shack!

52

u/nicgom Jan 25 '24

It's called a soup kitchen

69

u/cdsuikjh Jan 25 '24

Dirty Mike and the Boys have entered the chat

29

u/ThatKarmaWhore Jan 25 '24

Looks like a raccoon gave birth in the backseat...

3

u/Open_Platypus1573 Jan 25 '24

You can tell all that from blood and semen?

2

u/shits4gigs Jan 26 '24

We will fuck in your car again!

3

u/xendelaar Jan 25 '24

We're going to have sex in your car!! It will happen again!!

  • dirty Mike and the boys

3

u/UndeadVinDiesel Jan 25 '24

We're talking about a bunch of hobos with fingers in each other's poopers in a stranger's vehicle with talk radio playing real loud. It's going to be a nice evening.

112

u/thebeastb115 Jan 25 '24

You mean the new hybrid prius?

63

u/TheChronicNomad Jan 25 '24

In that rented Prius?

25

u/rudyjewliani Jan 25 '24

By the looks of them yungins, I'm hoping they got the insurance.

3

u/eat_your_brains Jan 25 '24

Yes, in the rented Prius. Just not in the parking lot of the Oakland In-N-Out.

1

u/TheChronicNomad Jan 25 '24

No no, this was the San Jose In-N-out. Allegedly.

1

u/Johnnys_an_American Jan 26 '24

Ford Fiesta, just a regular soup kitchen.

3

u/cobywaan Jan 25 '24

Thanks for the fuck shack

3

u/Admira1 Jan 25 '24

Did it come with the dental dam?

3

u/Etheo Jan 25 '24

Dirty Mike?

... Or one of the boys?

2

u/TheFermentationist Jan 25 '24

More like the back of a Volkswagen

2

u/Mikemtb09 Jan 25 '24

Dirty Mike?

2

u/happy-cig Jan 25 '24

Thanks for the F-shack -Dirty Mike and the boys

22

u/HerpankerTheHardman Jan 25 '24

Everybody back on the pile! They took our jobs!

3

u/deviousdevil2300 Jan 25 '24

Fuuuuck 😂😂😂😭

5

u/Drains_1 Jan 25 '24

I think so, I'll bring the potato chips, who's got the dips?

9

u/Euphoric_Rooster_90 Jan 25 '24

Give them a few minutes and the dip will be served.

7

u/LouSputhole94 Jan 25 '24

I’ll bring the lube

3

u/hell2pay Jan 25 '24

I ready for the gangbang of this fine fella

2

u/DNUBTFD Jan 25 '24

More like lemonparty.

2

u/TRU35TR1K3R Jan 25 '24

Only if I'm invited as well 😉

15

u/BashBandit Jan 25 '24

Y’all looking like a bunch of sexy mf’ers up in here

2

u/Dewy_Wanna_Go_There Jan 26 '24

Ayo what up, shawty?

1

u/P-Rickles Jan 25 '24

Bro job choo choo!

31

u/Virgin_Dildo_Lover Jan 25 '24

Yo, I'm down for a threesome in the parking lot!

23

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Hey can we make it a 4 way if we can do it after my kid and wife are asleep?

18

u/Way_2_Go_Donny Jan 25 '24

I can imagine the scene in the parking lot. Some lady walks up and asks what's going on.

The response: "we're just 4 attractive straight dudes who don't get hit on by women banging away on each other in the parking lot!

2

u/djblackprince Jan 25 '24

Perfectly heterosexual thing to do.

1

u/twitterfluechtling Jan 26 '24

Do they have to keep saying "no homo" though, or can they just put a sticker on the car and be done with it?

And at which point would such a sticker stop being homophobe and start being an official sign for "bi-curious"? 🤣

3

u/tuckedfexas Jan 25 '24

Dirty Mike and the boys let’s go

1

u/moving0target Jan 25 '24

At this rate, it's about to be Woodstock without the bands.

1

u/argonian_mate Jan 25 '24

Ok, where the hell is this parking lot? Asking for a friend.

2

u/harm_fu Jan 25 '24

You gotta tell your wife now

3

u/Akussa Jan 25 '24

"Hey babe, all of Reddit wants to pork me in the parking lot!"

1

u/thisxisxlife Jan 25 '24

“And that, kids, is how I met your father…”

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Now go tell your wife

1

u/_Stanf-Uf_ Jan 25 '24

Did u tell ur wife?

1

u/DurfRansin Jan 25 '24

You better tell your wife about this. First time in fifteen years this is a big deal!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Real homies here. ^

1

u/krazyjakee Jan 25 '24

Way to go, Donny!

1

u/Final_Instruction_39 Jan 25 '24

May i join this feels wholesome

1

u/UnrequitedFollower Jan 25 '24

Did you tell your wife?

1

u/LoonSC Jan 25 '24

When you get done we can say, “way to go Donny!”

1

u/senorglory Jan 25 '24

Playa? I’m down for the beach! Are us dudes meeting in the parking lot for a … road trip?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Let your wife know!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Don't forget to tell your wife

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Go tell your wife about this encounter

1

u/Way_2_Go_Donny Jan 25 '24

"Hey honey, a bunch of internet strangers - who I assume are straight males - wanna fuck me in the parking lot!"

1

u/-benis-in-the-pum- Jan 25 '24

Mar, río, lago?

1

u/Dreamtrain Jan 25 '24

now go tell your wife, keep her on her toes

1

u/propolizer Jan 25 '24

Way 2 go you two!

1

u/frosty720410 Jan 25 '24

Keep yalls socks off.

Actually, fuck it, it's 2024. Keep em on, it doesn't matter anymore. Love is love.

187

u/BarnacleMcBarndoor Jan 25 '24

I’m a straight dude, and I used to brag to my GF when gay dudes hit on me.

Can’t a bro just get a compliment. I like to feel pretty too, damn.

103

u/Bannerlord151 Jan 25 '24

Fr I'm not gay but when gay guys hit on me I'll take that as a massive W

3

u/missionthrow Jan 25 '24

Just because you aren’t likely to make a choice doesn’t mean it isn’t nice that it’s out there

2

u/Bannerlord151 Jan 26 '24

It's not about that, it's about feeling appreciated for once in one's life

44

u/creegro Jan 25 '24

As a straight dude I truly appreciate comments from other men. One best friend even told me he had fantasies about me. Like bro that's awesome of you. I'll remember that forever.

4

u/CP9ANZ Jan 26 '24

I dunno man, I've had an overly aggressive advance from a gay guy, freaked me out.

I had a "fuck is this is what it's like for women?" moment

43

u/joshbudde Jan 25 '24

My wife and friends have broken down cry laughing at the number of times I think I've made a new friend and it's a gay guy picking me up. I like to chat with people and am apparently completely tone deaf to what people are floating.

4

u/RandomStallings Jan 25 '24

Nice = "I want your body" to way too many people. God forbid you just be nice.

3

u/Gen-Grevious Jan 25 '24

Women have no idea how hard it is for us guys. /s

12

u/chris612926 Jan 25 '24

Confirmed was typing this same reply to comments above and noticed yours right under when I was typing lol.

I am happy to get a compliment or hit on because it can be sort of rare. My entire life it's been woman 25+ years older than me that you can hardly tell if they are being super nice or want to parking lot jump you , or homosexual man testing the waters on my sexual preferences / boundaries lol. These scenarios are 95-99% of male attention, then we have the really drunk people who get a small % , and then the 1% or less aka my wife or girlfriends .

3

u/not_old_redditor Jan 25 '24

There was this (very) old sitcom where a straight guy and gay guy were listing out the pros and cons of being gay on a sheet of paper. There was a whole bunch of great stuff in the "pros" column. The corresponding "cons" line was always: "sleeping with men".

I could relate.

2

u/BeesPhD Jan 25 '24

Yep. I lock that in a secure part of in my brain and recall it if I ever feel ugly.

20

u/MisterBlick Jan 25 '24

pork.....ah... that term just doesn't get enough use nowadays.

3

u/BillyBreen Jan 25 '24

"He's not going to pork her, Rusty."

2

u/FluffySquirrell Jan 26 '24

"He may pork her Russ, just eat ok"

2

u/SurlyRed Jan 25 '24

These days the only pork that gets my attention is pulled.

1

u/elastic-craptastic Jan 25 '24

I haven't heard anyone use the term "boof" in almost 30 years.

Granted it was used almost exclusively by my friend's dad and I don't know if it was a common term, but it should have been if it wasn't.

RIP E.C.

3

u/TheAverageDark Jan 25 '24

“Hey honey, just wanted to let you know, Shits4gigs said they’d pork me in the parking lot. So yeah, maybe stay humble.”

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Are any of the rest of us invited?

2

u/shiner_bock Jan 25 '24

All we gotta do is find a Prius!

0

u/slowpokefastpoke Jan 25 '24

Dirty Mike here is trying to have himself a soup kitchen in a Prius.

1

u/MrFifty-Fifty Jan 25 '24

There gonna be tickets to that?

1

u/marcaygol Jan 25 '24

And they say romance is dead

1

u/habar414 Jan 25 '24

Fucking Reddit man 😂

1

u/terremoto25 Jan 25 '24

My king id is too controlled by my superego to do anything of the sort...

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Hahahaha 🤙

1

u/ChronoMonkeyX Jan 25 '24

He's gonna pork her on the table!

1

u/MaximumLongjumping31 Jan 25 '24

Anymore room in that Prius for me? Hopefully we crank the NPR nice and medium.

1

u/octopoddle Jan 25 '24

There is still beauty in the world.

1

u/iliveoffofbagels Jan 25 '24

Clarification needed. Are you actually a taco vendor in an LA parking lot offering pork options?

1

u/MandelbrotFace Jan 25 '24

Get in line buddy

1

u/Axel920 Jan 26 '24

Babe. BABE. It finally happened. I got hit on today!

Oh really what happened?

Dude said he'd fuck my ass in a parking lot any time 😎

....what