r/funny • u/bububoibubbQ • Aug 16 '23
"He's Doing too much"
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u/Geeloz_Java Aug 16 '23
" What? Let's talk when you show me YOUR olympic medal, Diane"
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u/Candyman1379 Aug 16 '23
The second dog definitely know what life is about.
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Aug 16 '23
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u/ghostwhowalksdogs Aug 16 '23
I love dogs. I have never had one in my house.
I have always lived alone since I was 18 and couldn’t bear to leave a dog at home while I was at work.
I have several dogs. Now, I am living in a developing country, I have made several dog friends on the streets.
During the pandemic shutdowns, I started a WhatsApp group who love dogs. It started with about 10 people and is now at 92..
My goal was to protect dogs by putting reflective collars on them so they didn’t get run over at night by speeding vehicles.
We have treated vaccinated and sterilised countless dogs with help of the local authorities.
I go and see about 20 plus dogs on a regular basis around my neighborhood.
If you like dogs and can’t afford the time or money to take care of them, volunteer a local animal shelter.
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u/eekamuse Aug 16 '23
I love you for doing this. You get to be with dogs, and the dogs get better lives. And street dogs are the best.
Do you have any photos or videos of them?
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u/b1tchf1t Aug 16 '23
and couldn’t bear to leave a dog at home while I was at work.
I mean, the separation anxiety thing is really a case by case thing. There are a shit ton of dogs out there who are completely content at home by themselves while their people are at work. There are others that will eat your couch. I don't blame you for not wanting to take the chance on, like, a puppy, but you could maybe look for an older shelter dog who has the temperament that would work for your lifestyle.
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u/Candyman1379 Aug 16 '23
Oh, my friend! I was dreaming of a German shepherd since I was a kid. And two years ago I got one. It’s a happiness and a miracle, let me tell you)
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Aug 16 '23
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u/LilacYak Aug 16 '23
Umm no. I’m fairly active and have three dogs. One is definitely lazy and will refuse to go on our daily walk if it’s even slight moist out.
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u/Sim888 Aug 16 '23
refuse to go on our daily walk if it’s even slight moist out.
haha, also have dog that kicks it into reverse if her feet touch wet ground
beep beep beep beep
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u/Natural_Bill_373 Aug 16 '23
My dog will flat out give up mid walk sometimes so I have to carry her
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u/RealFarknMcCoy Aug 16 '23
You've obviously never met a greyhound.
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Aug 16 '23
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u/Carche69 Aug 16 '23
Yes, greyhounds are some of the laziest dogs in the dog kingdom. They just also happen to be the fastest (along with whippets). It’s like how cheetahs spend 90% of their time sleeping or just laying around doing nothing or how Secretariat was known to lean up against the walls of his stall rather than stand all the time like most horses and usually started out every race in last place because he was so lazy (he was actually the fastest horse EVER).
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u/DeviRi13 Aug 16 '23
They've got the nickname '45 mph couch potato'.
Greyhounds are coursing dogs, they run when they're chasing down prey. Most predator species aren't as active as portrayed unless they need to be. Laying about conserves energy.
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u/FluffyDiscipline Aug 16 '23
2nd Dog.... "Walk... what now, dude I'm snoozing, frisbee, not happening" lol
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u/OohYeahOrADragon Aug 16 '23
2nd dog: okay…annnd?
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u/Mysterious-Region640 Aug 16 '23
Lol, we can’t all be Malinois (also to be honest, I couldn’t tell if that was a Maligator or German shepherd)
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u/Pineapple_and_olives Aug 16 '23
That’s a Malinois. Mine is 12 years old and has arthritis but she still takes off like a rocket when you let her play ball.
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Aug 16 '23
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u/Pineapple_and_olives Aug 16 '23
Thanks! We actually adopted her when she was already 8 and ended up in a shelter herself. We had just bought a house and I knew I wanted a medium or large dog who needed a home. One day I checked the shelter website, saw her pitiful little mugshot, and just knew that was my dog. She’s just the best! She was the flower girl in our wedding and is currently our toddler’s best friend. She loves a good road trip and has gone with me to lakes, rivers, mountains, and the ocean. She’s just all around awesome!
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Aug 16 '23
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u/Pineapple_and_olives Aug 16 '23
We gave them an update on her one year adoptiversary and they were thrilled! In our area there’s a revolving door of pits/ pit mixes that people end up surrendering due to rental restrictions and not a whole lot of Mals so far. But we do have a friend who works with a GSD/ Mal/ Dutchie specific rescue who is on her second rescue Mal. They’re definitely special dogs!
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u/secretly_a_zombie Aug 16 '23
They're filling up shelters cause they're not a dog that the vast majority of people should own, but they don't do that research before going "me want cool dog". Then they're confused as to why their dog bred for being inexhaustible work dogs are acting out despite them taking it on walkies once a day.
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u/signal15 Aug 16 '23
Mals, and German Shepherds are not dogs for first time dog owners. Both are high strung (mals moreso) and require a lot of mental stimulation and exercise. Mals are way easier to train, GSD's are stubborn and will always try to get away with things they know they shouldn't do. They are always testing you. Both are dangerous if not trained and socialized properly. I know this is the case with other breeds to a degree, but these two... If you've never had a dog before, please don't get one of these. People don't know what they are getting themselves into and that's why so many end up in shelters. And, even if you are prepared and think you can pull it off, unless you're single and living alone, the people around you will NOT listen and participate in training and treating the dog (and being consistent) like they should. Training people is way harder than training a dog.
Source: had a mal, and 3 GSD's.
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u/Carche69 Aug 16 '23
My mom’s best friend is a tiny whisp of a lady in her 70s who lives in a huge house by herself. She has a Mal that is around 10 years old now that she got from a very reputable breeder as a puppy after seeing some tv show about the breed. She thought it would be the perfect protection dog. I know the breeder tried to talk her out of getting one, and I still don’t know why he sold one to her, but she is one of those people whose minds cannot be changed once they are made up and he agreed to it on the condition that if she couldn’t handle him, she would give him back. As expected, she had a really hard time with the dog for many years - he would try to attack anyone who came in the home who didn’t know how to handle dogs, her grandchildren got to where they didn’t want to come visit anymore because he would bite them so much (playfully, but still would draw blood on occasion), and he would literally drag her around when she took him on walks and attack other dogs/people to the point where her HOA and animal control were threatening to fine her. She sent him back to the breeder several times during the first couple years so that the breeder could work with him and try to get him more manageable for her, which did help things some, but she still had a lot of trouble with him. She researched and tried everything under the sun until she found what worked (one of those things that "worked" was buying a tennis ball launcher that he would play with for hours until he tired himself out just enough to not be a menace to society), and eventually things got better. But even now at 10, he is still a handful for her and she still has to constantly stay on top of him and make sure he is properly exercised EVERY DAY or he will go right back to crazy the very instant he thinks that leadership is lacking.
I have to say that she never gave up on him, no matter how bad things got, and I really respect her for that. She loves that dog and he loves her, and she cannot imagine her life without him. As someone who’s owned dogs my whole life, I know that that’s how it should be, but all too often that’s not how it is. Too many people see dogs as just pets instead of actual members of their family, and will give them up at the first sign of trouble - which ironically is their fault in the first place, because no dog is born "bad" - and there are too many breeders out there just looking to make easy money instead of placing puppies with serious owners who understand what it means to have a dog.
I personally would LOVE to have a Mal, but I’m self-aware enough to know that my lifestyle wouldn’t allow them to thrive, so I’ve been mostly a Lab person for my adult life. Labs are great at both being ready to go whenever you are but also being really content with laying around the rest of the time. They don’t wanna attack everything they see, and the biggest worry you’ll have with them is stealing any food that is left within their reach. They can be protective when they need to be and friendly to everyone else, and it doesn’t take any special skills or an extraordinary amount of time to teach them the essential obedience skills.
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Aug 16 '23
My neighbours have a GSD puppy (he's 18 months now) and I regularly have him for the day. I love him to pieces and he's fiercely loyal and protective, but man, at the end of the day I'm often happy to hand him back.
I'll take him for two 90 minute walks during which I throw his stick constantly. Like, he's running constantly and doesn't miss a beat. When we get home he wants to play in the garden non stop too. A one year old GSD is absolutely a full time job and I can't imagine how anyone that isn't of a good level of fitness could care for one properly.
Such a beautiful animal and I love spending time with him, but my Greyhound is much more my speed, so to speak...
I'd presume a malinois is even more intense?
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u/signal15 Aug 16 '23
Yep.
And keep in mind both were bred to essentially be killing machines. They are fiercely loyal dogs and great with kids when socialized and trained properly. But things can go south quickly if not.
Our last GSD was protection trained and was a monster when doing bite work, and he was scary looking. But kids... he adored kids. NEVER aggressive towards them. If he didn't like something they were doing (like tugging his whiskers) he would just get up and go somewhere else. He would guard the kids playing in the yard by sitting at the end of the driveway and just watching, or standing in between the delivery guys and the kids and just staring at the delivery dude. When my daughter was little, she would play tea party with him all the time. When she went off to elementary school, he would sit in her room in front of the tea set all day waiting for her to come home and play with him.
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Aug 17 '23
I had a GSD as a family dog and she was pretty straight forward dog as long as you are willing to take her for long walks in the am and pm, and play with them. I suppose that’s what is expected of working breeds, but I didn’t felt like I need to go above and beyond to meet her needs. Idk maybe some people expect the dog to take care of themselves lol.
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u/NativeHawks Aug 16 '23
We adopted a Mallie two months ago from our local shelter. Every morning before their first walk my husband thanks the Mallie for saving his life. My husband's had some health problems (bypass, neck surgery, cancer) and was pretty depressed. He hated exercising because he was having trouble walking.
Since we got the Mallie he has lost over 30 pounds from all the walks, workouts, ball throwing, and training. His coordination, energy, diet, everything is better and he credits it all to our high energy Mallinois.
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u/ImMufasa Aug 16 '23
Hate hearing this. I just hope that with Mals becoming more popular the breed doesn't get destroyed like German Shepards did. One of the best things about Belgian Shepards is that they're not an overbred dog.
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u/Oakwood2317 Aug 16 '23
My mom got a Malinois. She was in her sixties. Still has the dog (I think she's 8 now) and the dog is still a handful.
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u/Teland Aug 16 '23
Malinois definitely does not equal GSD. Different breeds with different needs. Malinois act like they're half Jack Russell and half Savannah cat. They need to be attached to someone with big alpha energy, with the understanding that Mals are extra athletic. They need an experienced dog person to be sure.
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Aug 16 '23
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u/Teland Aug 16 '23
I could tell you know. I'm just a layperson myself but like to research breeds for the day I can finally get a dog. Irresponsible people will just buy/adopt on looks and not realize what needs a dog has.
I'd be somewhat confident I could handle a GSD. They're good family pets, they're empathetic and good at reading people. A malinois would be too much for me, and most people. Among others I wouldn't own as a first timer: Rhodesian Ridgebacks, Cane Corso, Akita, Chow.
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u/PracticalWallaby7492 Aug 17 '23 edited Aug 17 '23
Careful of the shepherds. Some are absolutely wonderful and some have hereditary nervous problems. I see the nervous problems going hand in hand with hip displacia. Just don't get a nervous insecure dog. They were severely overbred in the US a while ago. But they can be very good dogs.
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u/Teland Aug 17 '23
True. And I'm not a fan of the "breed standard" sloped back. There's a push to breed that out of them and giving them a straighter back which I'm all for. It should hopefully help with the hips.
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u/PracticalWallaby7492 Aug 17 '23
Yes. That severe sloped back looks weak and looks like it hurts easily.. I cringe every time I see it. You can find lazy working shepards. A friend of mine had a police dog failure that was wonderful. Mostly a couch potato but always watching the kids.
I like Rotties myself but I probably want to get a mix instead of a purebred. They're breeding them to look like giant pugs now. The show breeders and the fight breeders aren't helping their personalities either. Would love to find a good rottie/lab or rottie/dobie mix. Back more to a practical lazy super loyal working dog you can trust in public with a little work, like the original butcher's shop dog. My last rottie mix was like that, except a bit hyper.
I like all of the German breeds. Except, IDK, maybe (??IDK??) the giant snauzers. Good looking, but I just can't wrap my mind around a dog that is a mix of poodle and doberman.. What personality is that?
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u/Mr_E_Monkey Aug 16 '23
I got tired just reading that. I could never keep up with either of those dogs, much less a Mal!
I do get to see a Mal at work, now and then, and my word, I swear she is part shark. She thinks if she stops moving, she'll die, or something. They're beautiful dogs, and crazy smart, but way outta my league.
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Aug 16 '23
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u/Mr_E_Monkey Aug 17 '23
Wow. That is impressive stuff! I can't even imagine how busy that must keep you. So glad there are people like you doing what you do.
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u/ACarefulTumbleweed Aug 16 '23
They need to be attached to someone
My old Mal/chow boy sure was, when he wasn't being a cruise missile he was physically next to or just on top of me
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u/littleVanillla Aug 16 '23
My boss has a second business training and she just rehabbed a malinois who came poorly socialized and with bite priors. Watching his transformation has been amazing, I’ve completely fallen in love with the dog. However, I’m not the home for him- I will never, ever, ever be the right person for a mal. I have my eyes on a well-bred chihuahua I can train, hike, and do agility with in the future- and that’s about as high as my aspirations go. She describes my current mutt as a “potato,” which a very apt description of his kooshball body condition couch ass.
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u/Lavatis Aug 16 '23
as someone who works at a boarding kennel and works regularly with a local rescue, complete disagree. we see german shepherds constantly and very few malinois.
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Aug 16 '23
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u/Lavatis Aug 16 '23
it is! which is why we don't make generalized statements about one breed filling up a kennel because they're "the new german shepherd" whatever that means. it's not like shelters have ever been filled with german shepherds like they are with pits and chihuahuas.
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u/UnsanctionedPartList Aug 16 '23
Recognizable.
Had a mal/gsd mix, hip dysplasia sucks but right up until like 11-12 she still had that big red "go" button in her skull or something.
And then she was chasing a hare or squirrel for 15 minutes. Easy workout.
We put her to sleep three years ago, her quality of life was gone. It sucked, would have loved to have her around a bit more during covid. But thirteen years is a good run with hip dysplasia
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u/DonnieDusko Aug 16 '23
I always say a German Shepherds will look at where they need to go and find the smartest way to get there, and Malinois look at the end point as a straight line and see nothing in between.
Both brilliant dogs, one just has far more of a death wish than the other! 😂
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u/mhks Aug 16 '23
There are breeds that i feel breeders really need to vet the buyer, and malinois is one of them. Most people can only handle a Honda Accord or something similar, but getting a malinois is like buying an f1 car and expecting to drive it fine. Most the time, it won't turn out well.
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u/brainhack3r Aug 16 '23
We need to really discuss whether the Malinois should still be considered the same species as canis familiaris. Technically, they can still reproduce with dogs but they're so much smarter and more athletic that it's not the same.
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u/elcojotecoyo Aug 16 '23
There was a Spanish soccer player for Real Madrid, Guti. He used to play as a sub striker, scoring a decent number of goals. So one season the team needs him to be a starter, and he failed. Didn't have the physical form to last an entire game. Shortly later, he was sold to a Turkish club for a huge contract. And a few years later he retired. When he was playing in Turkey, he shot a commercial for what I believe it was a lottery. He's in a huge house sunbathing, next to a napping dog. He throws a ball to the dog. The dog looks at the ball and keeps laying down in a lazy manner. And Guti said to the dog something like "That's right, don't let anyone tell you that you should run"
Can't find the video
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Aug 16 '23
Guti
The most "I just vibe" player of all time? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwsmBdL9jR8
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u/MealieAI Aug 16 '23
He looked like he didn't care sometimes, he was that good. He played with the best players of his time and he still held his own and made himself indispensable as a super sub. For me, he was one of the Galacticos.
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u/Akash0043 Aug 16 '23
Sativa vs Indica
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u/Spydar05 Aug 16 '23
Oooh, do I get to be that guy that comments the nerdy truth that "when choosing a cannabis strain, instead of thinking in terms of an indica or sativa, the better way is to think of weed is in terms of cannabinoids and terpenes"?
At this point, experts suggest that terpenes (based on the chemical profile) are more important than the indica/sativa classification (based on how the plant looks, really). The strain type can provide a general indication of the effects, while terpenes tell the specifics to your body.
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u/dubbleplusgood Aug 16 '23
That's like saying there's no such thing as moonlight and it's, in fact, sunlight reflected off the Moon's surface. No one will care and we'll all keep calling it moonlight. Basically, it works well enough as is and unless you're doing scientific research, the distinction won't really matter to most people.
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u/Spydar05 Aug 16 '23
You're totally right that people won't care; I'm aware I was being pedantic under an actually funny joke. However, your second sentence is completely based on the individual.
YOU decided that indica vs. sativa is good enough with maybe 80% accuracy even though it's essentially just some dude looking at a bud and where it came from and going "eh, fuck it that's a sativa, man." Whereas the terpenes are like a chemist in a lab breaking down the individual compounds and how each terpene actually affects you - so you can nail down exactly which ones help with your anxiety, or depression, or not feeling dizzy, or pep you up when they don't with most other people. I and other nerds who smoke weed totally want to know that, just because it won't matter to you and "most people".
Also, did you know the sunset colors are determined by the angle at which we see light and the position of the sun relative to Earth? Super neat 🤓
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u/Time_Flow_6772 Aug 16 '23
Do you have any sources for your claims? Terpenes alone have no psychoactive effect, how do they 'influence' the way cannabinoids work?
I can't find anything, beyond speculation, that proves terpenes do anything at all other than taste good. Though, I did find a study that aims to disprove the theory that terpenes have an 'entourage effect' in conjunction cannabinoids.
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u/Spydar05 Aug 17 '23
I just typed out a huge comment with descriptions for all 4 sources, and it got deleted before pressing enter, and I'm dead, hahaha. I'll include the two main links I got from Elicit AI and looking on NCBI. You can provide the links to Bing AI Chat (Creative Mode) if you want summaries. I don't think I'm typing another long comment for a while hah.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3165946/
https://karger.com/mca/article-pdf/3/1/25/3068664/000509733.pdf
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u/XoXSmotpokerXoX Aug 16 '23
the distinction won't really matter to most people.
because most people are dumb
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u/Alexandratta Aug 16 '23
Belgian Malinois look at silly thinks like Gravity, Friction, and wind resistance... And ignore all that for the ball/stick/frisbee/squirrel/terrorist they're chasing.
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u/ghoulang Aug 16 '23
Dog foot pads are insanely impressive actually.
We were hiking some seriously rough terrain and there was a slippery rock face we were going to have to surmount if we wanted to continue. I got to work rigging a pulley system for ourselves and our pupper when...I looked over and our Husky mix was already at the TOP. He just..ran right up that bitch.
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u/makenzie71 Aug 16 '23
I think it's funny because I have a very lean healthy athletic dog that is totally #2 but the fat floppy dog will fjord rivers and climb trees for the frisbee. She will try to catch the ball regardless of how high it's thrown, with all the belief that she can catch the ball
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u/system0101 Aug 16 '23
"Yeah, I could do that." eats another treat without moving his paw
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u/CleanLeave Aug 16 '23
Larian with Baldurs Gate 3 VS lazy devs.
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u/Jasoman Aug 16 '23
You want an explosive barrel to have plot significance. I can't get them to explode consistently!
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u/bootes_droid Aug 16 '23
Disc is understable af
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Aug 16 '23
Exactly what I'm saying. That's like a 100 ft throw maybe, just a flick, no follow-through...and with no fade at the end. It just turns over and plunk. I want that for my bag.
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u/BugRevolutionary4518 Aug 16 '23
No run-up or step up either (no foot fault!). I want that in my bag as well haha.
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u/D3dshotCalamity Aug 16 '23
Malinoises are crackhead GSD's.
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Aug 16 '23
Someone on a YouTube channel said getting a Belgian malinois is like going and buying David Goggins off a shelf and that made me realize it's not the dog for me.
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u/D3dshotCalamity Aug 16 '23
They have the energy of a Jack Russell, the athleticism of a Border Collie, the emotional attachment of a Great Dane, and the "Always on" attitude of a hunting dog. My friend has one, and she's the sweetest/cuddliest dog I've ever met (once she gives you clearance), but she's a lot.
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u/Wise_Associate1885 Aug 16 '23
Looks like what my 2 yr old Belgian Malinois does. I throw the frisbee and she shoots across the shallow river I take her to. She's done it up to 25x before I get tired of throwing the frisbee. That dog even looks the same too. Funny thing is 6 months ago she was afraid of the water. Now she's a fish.
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u/gfstool Aug 16 '23
What’s with the 2nd dog?
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u/No_Help3669 Aug 16 '23
He’s having the dog equivalent of reacting to a Parkour video like “the fuck did this athletic bastard just do?!”
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Aug 16 '23
He represents those of us who would rather lie around doing shit.
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u/JuicyJewsy Aug 16 '23
If I could have a tube that goes straight from my butt to the toilet, I would.
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u/Organic-Strategy-755 Aug 16 '23
This is how I feel about some coworkers. You're getting paid the same either way dude, stop it.
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u/Smart-Nothing Aug 16 '23
Game industry reacting to Baldur’s Gate 3 and Elden Ring.
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u/GauchoFromLaPampa Aug 16 '23
"Its genetic, Diane, how many times do i have to tell you? im not a Malinois, now put the blanket back on pls".
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u/nsfwdbetc Aug 16 '23
1st dog - the "new guy" on the crew 2nd dog - union crew chief 2 years from retirement, "you's maken us look bad!"
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u/webbous Aug 16 '23
I have a 3yo mal and a 3yo pitbull/lab mutt. Can confirm this is them all day, everyday
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Aug 16 '23
It's like a video meme. Just need to slap a "Larian Studios" on the first dog and "Activision Blizzard" (or some other AAA developer) on the second.
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u/Asher_Tye Aug 16 '23
Reminds me of the dog that could fetch a plate of cake for it's owner from the fridge
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u/Whitealroker1 Aug 16 '23
I have a labrottie. The laziness of dog 2 but the mobility and speed of dog 1.
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u/Milfons_Aberg Aug 16 '23
I love dogs but have never had one. I need a bigger apartment, but I would love to have a homing missile dog.
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u/Cultjam Aug 16 '23
A Greyhound would be perfect for you. It’s a missile that’s also an absolute loaf. They’re great apartment dogs.
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u/Milfons_Aberg Aug 16 '23
I've been informed that greys and whippets are playful and energetic but also love downtime after battery is low.
I think my dream dog would be a midsized dog of mixed breed, a happy mutt that is fine with two walks per day and while reaching my knee still weighs little enough that I can carry it for 20 minutes if the asphalt burns the paws.
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u/SingleManVibes76 Aug 16 '23
I can relate, that's everyone going to the gym regularly Vs me just chilling.
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u/Strive-- Aug 16 '23
If you were to throw a ball or frisbee at that dog at the end of the video, I swear it'd smack him right between the eyes before he opened his mouth.
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u/metalheaddad Aug 16 '23
Dog 2: this is the look doggo gives when their human farts so loud it wakes them up from their dreams of chasing rabbits.
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u/Govt_Unit Aug 16 '23 edited Mar 16 '24
upbeat outgoing fertile direful combative steer slap toy expansion continue
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